Tuesday, May 11, 2010

HCwDB'S "The Match Game"

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their _____, then surely their reputation for _______ would no longer be so __________.

Take your best shot at filling in the blanks in the comments thread.

# posted by douchebag1
11:32 am May, 11 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Pussies, pussiness, pussificated.

11:33 am May, 11 Anthony LaBaglia said...

vestigial tails intertwined, heterosexuality, intact.

11:35 am May, 11 Anthony LaBaglia said...

basement, jelly dongs, puzzling.

11:37 am May, 11 Anthony LaBaglia said...

stomach x-rays, cum-guzzling, overstated.

11:38 am May, 11 Tony Ventresca said...

I don’t think I will ever go within 1 mile of a public swimming pool again, and if I discover my hotel has a pool I will quickly find one that doesn’t. It’s just not worth the risk of being close to a scene like this one.

11:38 am May, 11 mr.reeve said...

waxed chodes, dangle berries, topical

11:39 am May, 11 Crucial Head said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their Viking Yogurt Rodeo, then surely their reputation for donkey jizz would no longer be so highly adhesive.

11:39 am May, 11 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Darksock, Crucial Head, Pumpy 🙂

11:40 am May, 11 Crucial Head said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their gay porn collections, then surely their reputation for being ass-to-mouth fetishists would no longer be so frowned upon.

11:42 am May, 11 Crucial Head said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their bank accounts, then surely their reputation for unemployed fluffers would no longer be so untruthful.

11:42 am May, 11 DarkSock said...

dammit you lazy bastards it’s called “Cut and Paste”…

.

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their unlubricated feet, then surely their reputation for being pussy-footers would no longer be so well heeled.

11:42 am May, 11 Anthony LaBaglia said...

anuses (anii), not being anally raped on a daily basis, within the distant realm of possibility

11:42 am May, 11 Crucial Head said...

“being unemployed fluffers.”

.

Twatcockktaintgrease!

11:43 am May, 11 Burt said...

Could this be the stereodouchtonic twins?

11:44 am May, 11 Anthony LaBaglia said...

yeah, you’re right Sock- much better w/ cut/paste. Too bad- already blew my load

11:44 am May, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

Circumcision scars, Docking, widespread.

.

NSFW, BTW.

11:44 am May, 11 DarkSock said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their wind-beaten rectal polyps then surely their reputation for being pipe farters would no longer be in doubt.

11:45 am May, 11 Crucial Head said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their monstrous mothers, then surely their reputation for being related to Plinky would no longer be so far-fetched.

11:45 am May, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their vestigial tail, then surely their reputation for ass play would no longer be so fucking funny anymore.

11:45 am May, 11 bigphatnotadouche said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their _small penises_, then surely their reputation for cock swallowing male whores would no longer be so farfetched.

11:46 am May, 11 Crucial Head said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their stomach contents, then surely their reputation for swallowing would no longer be so ridiculous.

11:46 am May, 11 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their mothers, then surely their reputation for being motherfuckers would no longer be so arousing.

11:47 am May, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their triple gainers, then surely their reputation for Stackhouse Love would no longer be so hetero.

11:48 am May, 11 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Vin you co-opd my tail 🙂

11:49 am May, 11 boatbutter said...

Not cool Medusa. Not cool at all.

11:49 am May, 11 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Head you co-opd my stomach contents. Hey that doesn’t sound right.

11:50 am May, 11 Adi said...

Chad, Tad, and Brad are the new Larry, Moe, and Curly, except the 3 stooges were trying to be funny, these bags do it by accident.

11:50 am May, 11 Scrotediddilyumptious said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their matching tribal tattoos then surely their reputation for being the three douchekateers would no longer be in question.

11:50 am May, 11 Crucial Head said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their basements, then surely their reputation for killing their girlfriends after the second date would no longer be so lightly taken.

11:50 am May, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their stretched bown eyes, then surely their reputation for tremendous reach around parties would no longer be so odd.

11:51 am May, 11 Vin Douchal said...

@ Tony,

Yeah, huh?

11:52 am May, 11 Crucial Head said...

Damn, I didn’t see Labaglia’s stomach contents joke before I posted.

.

.

*hangs head in shame, shuffles back into the darkness*

11:52 am May, 11 Anthony LaBaglia said...

I’m blind now from that fucking link.

11:53 am May, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Medusa’s link reminds me of bcs’ hijinks. Nice burn, lady.

11:56 am May, 11 Anthony LaBaglia said...

I hope my fucking wife isn’t looking back through the browsing history to find one of her recipes and comes across the gay docking page.

11:56 am May, 11 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their diverse stock portfolios, then surely their reputation for trading high-risk equity derivatives would no longer be so heavily based in Keynesian macroeconomics.

12:05 pm May, 11 Scrotediddilyumptious said...

DAMN YOU Medusa! DAMN YOU!

12:05 pm May, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their sphincter muscles, then surely their reputation for kegelling Capt’n Morgan bottles would no longer be so widley rumoured.

12:10 pm May, 11 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their <MIT published quantum boson theory, then surely their reputation for reliance upon Maxwell equations and Dirac equations would no longer be so frowned upon by super-string theorists.

12:12 pm May, 11 saulgoode42 said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their Charles Nelson Reilly, then surely their reputation for Making Whoopie would no longer be so Blank.

12:14 pm May, 11 The Big LeBagski said...

Awesome. It’s douchebag madlibs. “Baglibs!”

12:16 pm May, 11 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

Melanoma

.

Tumors

.

Cancerous

12:17 pm May, 11 Anonymous said...

birth certificates, being triplets congenitally joined at the shoulders, widely accepted

12:19 pm May, 11 Adi said...

Chad, Tad, and Brad knew that is only Melanie could see their trial transcripts, then surely their reputation for getting drunk and mistakenly humping animals would no longer be in question.

12:21 pm May, 11 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

Marklar

.

Marklar

.

Marklar

12:22 pm May, 11 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their anal polyps, then surely their reputation for monster meat-missile mud baths would no longer be so undocumented.

12:24 pm May, 11 anonymous said...

SAT scores, being chess masters and rocket scientists, damaging to their fervent quest for pussy.

12:25 pm May, 11 Wadsworth Gherkinswallow said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their doily collections, then surely their reputation for taking wide stances in glory-holed restrooms would no longer be so suspect.

12:25 pm May, 11 Wadsworth Gherkinswallow said...

I am not touching Jacques’ link…

.

Wait. That sounded gay.

12:26 pm May, 11 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their tiny penises, then surely their reputation for micro penis would no longer be so many little flopping penises.

12:27 pm May, 11 Scroto said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their Captain Morgan pose, then surely their reputation for wearing their nut-hugging, scroto displaying shorts would no longer be so outwardly emasculating.

12:36 pm May, 11 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their flexible-rectosigmoidoscope images, then surely their reputation for explosive bloody farts would no longer be so closely examined.

12:38 pm May, 11 Tanath said...

Are these guys douches? I mean the guy on the left has bling and a stupid hat but hair gel seems lacking (maybe a little on the right), not tats that I can see, no stupid hand gestures, no tongue, no orange…i dunno, I’m gonna let these guys pass…goofy Captain Morgan stance aside, for me…notadouche…

12:41 pm May, 11 Chest Meatsteak said...

Film Library of Animal Porn

Method Acting

Troubling

12:43 pm May, 11 Peter Ilyich Doucheovsky said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their thoughts, then surely their reputation for liking girls would no longer be so relevant.

Not the most creative, I know… but I’m tired.

12:44 pm May, 11 Chest Meatsteak said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their Brain MRI then surely their reputation for Eating Feces would no longer be so Sad.

12:45 pm May, 11 Chest Meatsteak said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their Vaginas then surely their reputation for Vaginosis would no longer be so Pungent

12:48 pm May, 11 Chest Meatsteak said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their Iron Crosses, then surely their reputation for Goose Stepping would no longer be so Tolerated

12:58 pm May, 11 Anonymous said...

@ Medusa Oblongata

That was not suitable for anyone. BTW.

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their Groin-Shave-Reveal then surely their reputation for crab-infested lobster bellies would no longer be so crab infested.

1:01 pm May, 11 End the Haberdouchery said...

Not even going to try. Kudos to the regs.

1:18 pm May, 11 Dicy said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their experiments in quantum fluctuations then surely their reputation for adhering to the ideas of MOND would no longer be taken to heart.

1:21 pm May, 11 Dicy said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their huge dumps in the toilet then surely their reputation for leaving the lid up would no longer be denied.

1:24 pm May, 11 Dicy said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their Prince Alberts then surely their reputation for overcompensation would no longer be doubted.

1:28 pm May, 11 Dicy said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their harmoinc oscillators then surely their reputation for improper applications of the Fourier Transform would no longer be so widely believed.

1:36 pm May, 11 Chest Meatsteak said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their Anus Diameter then surely their reputation for Being Anal Coyotes would no longer be so Bewildering

1:38 pm May, 11 Troy Tempest said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their emotional scars, then surely their reputation for animal buggery would no longer be so laughably incomprehensible

1:40 pm May, 11 Troy Tempest said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their long standing concern for the working classes then surely their reputation for supporting cryptofascist dickweeds would no longer be so compelling.

1:42 pm May, 11 Troy Tempest said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their hydrology textbooks then surely their reputation for lurking in bus station bathrooms would no longer be so exotic

1:48 pm May, 11 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Manhood. For all 3 blanks.

2:00 pm May, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

Snicker.

.

And I refuse to click on any of JD’s links, either. And watch, they’re probably all cute pics of kitties or something.

.

Fuck it. I’m going in. If I don’t come back, avenge my death.

2:02 pm May, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ JD 12:36

I suppose it’s a moot point to ask if he was wearing a helmet.

2:42 pm May, 11 Steve L. said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their phantom phalli, then surely their reputation for not having a phallus would no longer be so hot.

2:45 pm May, 11 Steve L. said...

sometimes, not having a phallus is hot. one of life’s many paradoxes.

2:48 pm May, 11 Claude Douchenburg said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their _____, then surely their reputation for _______ would no longer be so __________.

Take your best shot at filling in the blanks in the comments thread.

I got nothin………..sorry

2:51 pm May, 11 Claude Douchenburg said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their pad (apartment), then surely their reputation for living at home with their dad would no longer be so bad.

2:52 pm May, 11 Claude Douchenburg said...

Hey, at least I was the only one that rhymed.

2:53 pm May, 11 doucheywallnuts said...

I really need to work less and get on this site more. There’s no way I’m going to trawl through the 70+ comments to make sure I don’t repeat anyone’s comments.

On second thought, I’ll try to come up with something so tasteless that there’s a 50/50 chance it won’t be a dupe.

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their Karposi’s Sarcoma ravaged taints then surely their reputation for taking it in the ass from final stage AIDS patients would no longer be so much of a secret.

2:54 pm May, 11 massengill said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their brain activity then surely their reputation sharing one personality would no longer be so surprising.

2:55 pm May, 11 massengill said...

for

3:04 pm May, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Jacques’ ” flexible-rectosigmoidoscope images” FTW. The line not the photo

3:05 pm May, 11 mr.reeve said...

Medusa should be banned to gay porn sites for that BS. Thanks a lot. I am going to go take a rape shower now.

3:09 pm May, 11 Chad Kroeger said...

Chad does not like his anal polyps on this site. Please take them down or my colon will be in touch with you.

3:09 pm May, 11 Father Guido Sardouchey said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their pedicures, then surely their reputation for asskicking would no longer be so frightening.

These guys want everyone to know they have a little bit o’ Captain in them. What they don’t want everyone to know is that they take turns playing the “Captain”.

3:16 pm May, 11 Steve L. said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their sunglasses’ price tags, then surely their reputation for bad fashion would no longer be so unsubstantiated.

3:18 pm May, 11 Troy Tempest said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their microchoads, then surely their reputation for being hung like hamsters would no longer be so mysterious.

3:23 pm May, 11 mr.reeve said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their _____, then surely their reputation for _______ would no longer be so __________.

labia luau

being little bitches

hard to believe

3:44 pm May, 11 Douches Wild said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their distended colons, then surely their reputation for fecal rope tricks would no longer be so mysterious.

3:46 pm May, 11 Steve L. said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their nip and tuck, then surely their reputation for being heterosexual would no longer be so troublesome.

3:47 pm May, 11 DarkSock said...

long live bag libs

4:11 pm May, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their heart shaped pubes, then surely their reputation for manliness would no longer be so debatable.

4:16 pm May, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their Tippy-Toe Tutu Dance, then surely their reputation for swilling jizm would no longer be so in the closet.

4:16 pm May, 11 Jacques Doucheteau said...

@ Chad 3:09

I believe I’ve already been in touch with your colon before. Here’s another visual representation.

4:17 pm May, 11 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Ya’ see what I did there? Lettin’ your MIND fill in the blanks.

8:06 pm May, 11 ehcuodouche said...

goatse, buggery, disputed

8:18 pm May, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if Melanie could only see their BOOGERS, then surely their reputation for being COCKSUCKERS would be KLEEN-X RATED.

8:42 pm May, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their LITTLE HEADS, then surely their reputation for being TIGHTWADS would be a LITTLE SUMPIN’.

8:58 pm May, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their TINY NUTS, then surely their reputation for being CHICKPEA and PEANUT LOVERS would no be so ODDBALL.

9:05 pm May, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their DINGLEBERRIES, then surely their reputation for being TEE-PEE CHALLENGED would not be so HANGIN’ BY A CRACK.

9:12 pm May, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their FIRST AND SECOND MATES, then surely their reputation for chugging CAPTAIN MORGAN would not be so BLOWIN” IN THE WIND.

9:14 pm May, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their GAME, then surely their reputation for GETTING TO FIRST BASE would not be so questionable as their SHORTSTOPS.

9:23 pm May, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their TURTLEHEADS, their reputation for being POND-SCUM would no longer be so EYE-POPPING OUT-OF-THE-WATER.

9:35 pm May, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their HOLDING ONE LEG IN MID-AIR, their reputation for AIRING THEIR JIZZ-ASS would no longer be so RANK AS THEIR SMELLY FARTS.

9:43 pm May, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew thhat if only Melanie could see their ABS AND THIGHBONES, their reputation for being HAMS would no longer be so good as their reputation for PORCH BEEF.

9:53 pm May, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their PEDICURES, then surely their reputation for TOENAIL FUNGUS would no longer be so DANGEROUS TO THEIR PRIVATE MAN-CURES..

9:57 pm May, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their TAINTS, their reputation for being SAINTS would no longer be so QUAINT.

10:02 pm May, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their GOLF BALLS, then surely their reputation for YELLING ” FORE!” would no longer be so MYSTERIOUS IN EVERY SKINS GAME.

10:09 pm May, 11 Baleen said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their grandmother’s pickled uterus, then surely their reputation for New England clam chowder would no longer be so underappreciated.

10:14 pm May, 11 Baleen said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their “love shack” whose contents include ball gags, rubber sheets, and coiled enemas, then surely their reputation for abstinence would no longer be an issue.

10:15 pm May, 11 The Devil wears Hardy said...

Rohypnol bottle

Date rape

Mythical

10:18 pm May, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their DONKEY DONGS, then surely their reputation for being ASSES would no longer be so INEXPLICABLE. .

10:19 pm May, 11 Baleen said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their disdain for women yet love for feminity, then surely their reputation for weekend antique hunting would no longer be full of drama.

10:26 pm May, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their IN-SYNC DANCIN’ , then surely their reputation for KNEE-JERK REACTION would no longer be so LIMITIN’ ACTION.

10:30 pm May, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could RIDE THE HORSEY, then surely their reputation for COME TO DADDY would no longer be so LEATHER DAD.

10:38 pm May, 11 Wheezer said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their seventh-inning stretches, then surely their reputation for ruining Seattle Mariner games would no longer be so taser-worthy.

10:40 pm May, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Chad, Tad, Brad and Ahab there on the chaise-lounge knew that if only Melanie could see their SPERM WHALES, then surely their reputation for being such DICKS would no longer be so important as their MOOBS..

10:52 pm May, 11 Gen. Colin Bowel said...

balls

11:43 pm May, 11 The Devil wears Hardy said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their LACK OF INDIVIDUALITY, then surely their reputation for LACK OF INDIVIDUALITY would no longer be so LACKING.

7:06 am May, 12 DarkSock said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their goiters then surely their reputation for speed-fucking neck goiter lance wounds would no longer be so socially unacceptable

7:07 am May, 12 DarkSock said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their dislocated hip joints and splintered femurs, then surely their reputation for taking drunken midnight boat rides with DarkSock would no longer be so doubted

7:09 am May, 12 DarkSock said...

Chad, Tad and Brad knew that if only Melanie could see their soles of their feet, then surely their reputation for moshing in hot fresh cat shit would no longer be so shunned by everyone else in the Limp Biscuit mosh pit. All 3 of them.

9:08 am May, 12 Douchelips said...

@Jacques Doucheteau at 11:56am on May 11

Keynesian macroeconomics FTW!

10:57 am May, 12 Deltus said...

I was going to come up with something, but after Medusa’s link, and my subsequent barfing fit, I’m just not up… um… excuse me, not finished BRRLLLEAAARRRGGGHH!

10:04 pm May, 12 Whoop-di-douche said...

After MEDUSA’s link, I now understand why KOHL’s has discontinued selling Dockers.

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