Saturday, May 8, 2010

Honorary Douchebags of the Month: People Who Use the term "Jump the Shark"

Also those who use “nuke the fridge,” “I know, right?” and the most odious of recent linguistic hipsterisms, referring to red haired people as “Gingers.”

Enough, people.

Don’t make me bring back “have some.”

# posted by douchebag1
12:26 pm May, 8 Peter Ilyich Doucheovsky said...

My first “First”! My excitement can hardly be contained, much like Gay Chris Kattan’s Queen tatoo. Dude… just buy the albums.

“Ginger” is only okay in South Park-related situations. Or if the person truly is soul-less.

12:46 pm May, 8 Soy Bomb said...

I move that the phrase: “I just threw up in my mouth a little bit” should also go the way of the Dodo. It was funny the first time; really funny actually, but now it’s just sad, lazy humor.

12:48 pm May, 8 Steve L. said...

nuke the fridge?

… really?

… wow.

1:06 pm May, 8 creature said...

don’t make go “get some!” on you who bags

1:07 pm May, 8 creature said...

also those who claim things are ‘awesome’ need to be smacked in the face with a skillet…full of hot grease

1:08 pm May, 8 creature said...

now if you ‘face-fuck a shark’ that would be awesome!

1:15 pm May, 8 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

How’s about ‘nuke the gingers’?

1:16 pm May, 8 Stinkpole said...

My living room is a room…not a fucking ” living space”. My yard is a lawn…not a fucking “green space”. I go to the doctor for the sake of my health…not my fucking “wellness”. Stop pussifying my language!

1:25 pm May, 8 mr.reeve said...

I am pretty sure those fruit loops live in Canoga Park. Could be wrong but there is so many of those Fruit-Bags around here. Don’t get it.

How about this “I jumped the shark while nuking my ginger friend’s refrigerator, right?”

1:34 pm May, 8 burris said...

Bring It.

1:38 pm May, 8 scrotum pole said...

Yeah well, ” It is, what it is.”

1:41 pm May, 8 Army of Douche-ness said...

1. yes yes yes, agreed!

2. and to think this comment came into play fror the first time i can recall in HCwDB history with Chris Cornell? that Anon was just dumb as shit is the problem

AoD

2:27 pm May, 8 lupus john bijjahnn said...

is this the same guy from a previous posting with a guy wearing white speedos on a beach and standing next to a girl with braces?

2:36 pm May, 8 Just Sayin said...

“Gingers” comes from American hipster-doofus types reading the BBC and the Guardian in the internet. Turds.

And by the way – “interwebs” is old too. And needless to say, anyone who is still “lol”-ing should be given the Red Dragon glue-chair treatment.

2:36 pm May, 8 Jed the Creepy Wankscrote said...

I know, right?

2:36 pm May, 8 Soy Bomb said...

@ Lupus…good call. That indeed looks like Jed the Creepy Wankscrote. I can tell by the smell.

2:55 pm May, 8 Chad Kroeger said...

I agree with DB1. Only the Fonz can jump the shark. And I just bought a new house. Fucking houses. I hate them.

3:30 pm May, 8 Dave said...

How about putting “uber” in front of anything.

Pretty gay in my opinion.

3:51 pm May, 8 tall guy said...

I’d been wondering what Prince and Brooke Shields were up to lately. Bit of drinking’n’clubbin’ it seems.

Maybe I’m odd, but i’ve never liked ‘clubbin’ either. You go to the pub, you go to a club or, elsewhere, you go to a bar.

3:53 pm May, 8 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Referring to anything as “gay” is totally gay.

.

Nigga, please.

4:06 pm May, 8 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Epic fail. Bust a Moby. So five minutes ago. ‘Nuff said. For reals, yo. Oh snap! Don’t be hatin’! Omigod. Peace out. Saying “my nigga” at the end of a sentence when you’re clearly white. Blogoholic. Blogorific. Blogophobia.

.

Putting. A. Period. After. Every. Word. For. Maximum. Dramatic. Impact.

4:07 pm May, 8 tall guy said...

well spotted, lupus john. it looks to be the exact same excrescence.

4:33 pm May, 8 Euripidouche said...

that’s what she said!!

4:55 pm May, 8 doucheywallnuts said...

I’d like to add, “Let’s do this!” to the list of douchebag lingo. Another dead douchebag giveaway is, “Not for nothing but…” which is classic Jerz douchebaggery. Said with a Jerz accent this phrase can be used to support eugenics.

“My bad,” is another particularly odious douche-phrase which sets off the douchebag alarm.

I’m just sayin’…

5:43 pm May, 8 Wheezer said...

Not spelling out words, especially ‘you’ and ‘are’ or their combination forms.

5:44 pm May, 8 Wheezer said...

The phrase I hate most: “Don’t worry about it.”

.

“Haters” and “jealous” are especially rank.

8:03 pm May, 8 Mr. White said...

Yeah, I think we have to give a Brit exception to use of the word “ginger.” From my recent travels there, that seems to be a non-douche usage among the Brits.

And damn, they seem to universally revile redheads. In a relatively short time period, I witnessed someone saying they were going to introduce a friend to an eligible bachelor or bachelorette, and the first question out of the mouths of the others wasn’t, “Oh, is he nice?” or “She doesn’t mainline heroin, does she?” No, it was, “He isn’t a ginger, is he?” Me, I got no problem with a fire bush, but I was afraid to say anything. And I was really drunk, so I didn’t care.

What the fuck does “nuke the fridge” mean? I’ve never heard that before today.

8:10 pm May, 8 Lithi said...

“nuke the fridge,”

I’m so out of touch, I never even heard of that before.

8:14 pm May, 8 Whoop-di-douche said...

I once knew a spicy, busty gal named Margaret who loved to suck on ball. The whispered nickname of this female was “Nutmeg.”

…..Good addition to the Ginger in the spice rack.

8:18 pm May, 8 Miss Anonymous said...

My husband has ginger pubes, LOL.

8:21 pm May, 8 Whoop-di-douche said...

What about the Tea Party usurping the term “teabagging” from all the teabaggers?

I can’t tell if it’s an inside joke on them, or an “unawares” they fling about.

8:25 pm May, 8 Whoop-di-douche said...

“Nuke the fridge” sounds like

1) Baked Alaska

2) Something you do after getting an ice cream headache

3) Hitting on a frigid woman

4) Code term for doing away with Sarah Palin

8:28 pm May, 8 Rumpelscroteskin said...

Nuke the fridge is another term for applying icy-hot ointment on sore muscles. I think.

9:21 pm May, 8 DarkSock said...

Fuccen Hatters. HCwDB doesn’t “Jump The Shark”…Bitches, we Hump The Snark.

.

.

@ Wheezer 5:43 pm:

.

You’re right, dude.

8:18 am May, 9 Soy Bomb said...

“Nuke the Fridge”. Sadly, I know this. It’s from the most recent (and madly disappointing) Indiana Jones film. At the beginning of the movie our hero, Indy, survives a nuclear bomb explosion by jumping into a refrigerator right before it goes off. It’s completely absurd, obviously. I was only able to take about 10 more min. of some of my best childhood memories being raped before shutting it off, throwing my pirated disc in the trash and going outside to enjoy the sunshine.

12:04 pm May, 9 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Sadly you’ve all just eliminated nearly everyone of my literary crutches.

.

Bitches.

6:36 pm May, 9 Stephanie said...

nuke the fridge ? Huh? that sounds retarded,like a mistake. man, those two on the left look a little like the retards they leave outside for fresh air in their wheelchairs…and people give them embarrassing haircuts.

6:47 pm May, 9 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Soy Bomb 8:18

Nuke the fridge….aaaah. I haven’t sat through that botched abortion of a movie, and I will not. Ok. So now I know the reference, can you explain its application?

.

I also move to add “awkward” and “that’s so random”. Both of these are used to death by girls under 25 and it’s like a cheese grater on my butthole, I can’t stand it. They come in to the shop to get something done and they all say, “Oh, this is, like, so raaaaan-dom!” And I want to say, “Don’t you mean ‘spontaneous’?” But I can’t, ’cause I want their money. And then they get in the chair and I have to get them all propped up so I can work and they say, “Oh, this is like, so awkward, how I’m sitting.” Tough shit.

.

I also would like to add “Boo-yaa!”, anything quoted from ‘Anchorman’, and “Pimpin'”. Thank you.

6:48 pm May, 9 Medusa Oblongata said...

BTW, I want to make slippers out of the two guys in the pic. I mean shove one foot in each of their asses and shuffle around in my basement.

7:54 pm May, 9 Soy Bomb said...

@ Medusa- The cool kids all say “Nuke the Fridge” instead of “Jump the Shark”.

.

.

.

If by “cool” you mean “tool”.

.

.

.

Which I do.

9:22 pm May, 9 massengill said...

This sucks. I am douchebag, if only honorarily.

I used the term “jump the shark” as recently as last Thursday. It was a conversation about the latest flavor of Doritos.

I also use the term “gingers” when referring to the disgusting creatures that sat a row in front and opposite the aisle from me on a flight from Cincinnati to Boston: right there in my periphery. It’s a short flight, but I still had enough time to fill every barf bag on that plane, twice. Had I known I was going to be looking at those mealy-skinned abominations for two hours, I would have bought luggage and paid the baggage fees to stow those fuccers below.

Is quoting Ghostbusters still awesome?

Is the atomic weight of cobalt 58.9?

I had never heard “nuke the fridge,” but I live in Cincinnati and it takes shit a while to get here. By the way, have any of you tried this new Crystal Pepsi? The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was fucking pitiful. I watched the whole fuccen thing. I spent most of the time just wishing it would be over, but, when it was, the ending was so shitty I was even more pissed off. “Knowledge…heh, heh.” No, Indy…I don’t think so.

Homey don’t play dat.

This is good, though.

9:24 pm May, 9 massengill said...

oh, fuck it, then: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2008/6/10morris.html

9:35 pm May, 9 massengill said...

I just realized how yall were doin

.

this

4:15 am May, 10 Darth Doucheous said...

Have some?

GET SOME

9:29 am May, 10 smackdouche said...

I don’t know, why don’t you “run it up the flagpole and see who salutes?”

Cmon, “I’m just sayin'”, “don’t kill the messenger!”

12:26 pm May, 10 I R A Darth Aggie said...

We need more ginger hott chicks.

Not complainin’, just sayin’!

3:04 pm May, 10 Austin Danger Powers said...

I used the term “jump the shark” to describe this site right around the time I left.

And now I’m gone again. I wish I could take Medusa with me… just to do kinky things to her while my wife videotapes.

4:43 pm May, 10 baggletooth. said...

Ginger? I was born in ’86 and pretty much heard that one all throughout growing up. Ever heard someone say “chillax”? That’s far newer and far worse.

4:45 pm May, 10 Jimmy said...

In the UK, the term Ginger is very common. The first G is a hard G

12:55 pm May, 18 Saori said...

Only people who say “Jump the Shark” out of context or without knowing the origin of the expression are douchebags.

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