King Douchuous the IV Spikes Onward
It is clear as we move through 2010 that while many douches might rise up for a brief time while pursuing the hotts, only to burn out in an implosion of Axe Bodyspray and L.A. Looks hair gel, the true legends of mock are marked not only by douchosity, but by longevity.
And by longevity, I mean a lifelong commitment to being total assclowns.
Even as they get more and more leathery.
We’ve seen HCwDB legends the Donk, Xenu, Joey Porsche and Smoot carry their “game” into 2010, and now here’s Hall of Scrote legend King Douchuous the IV, proving his kingdom of pudwack continues to reign over the party blonde suckle thighs.
Average ‘bags drop by the wayside. Get jobs. Wash out the gel.
But not the legends. They scrote onward evermore. And so we are there. To to laugh at the silly hair.
Maybe “To to” is a typo?
Mmmmmmm, MILK!
Good lord, there is nothing about this picture that does not deserve Napalm.
Freddy Fags
A number of questions come to mind from viewing this picture:
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1) Why did he get two Real Dolls that were the same?
2) Did he style the hair differently on them to make sure he could keep track of how many times he jizzed in each one?
3) How is he going to pay the rent on his cardboard box if he spent almost all of his yearly salary on these two dolls?
4) Why hasn’t Darwinism taken care of this fool by now?
5) Why isn’t Buffalo Beast smacking him in his “crown” with that drink and then lighting him on fire?
6) Is he warning all MILFs and Hos to stay away from him because he contains a multitude of flammable substances (see question 5 above)?
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I need answers damnit!
If boobs were brains, Mandi and Kandi would be MENSA members.
http://supersexycpr.com/cpr.html
@ Dr. Bunsen
Funny thing about MENSA: a friend and I had a gentleman’s bet between us about who could score higher on the MENSA admission test. The loser had to pay the winner’s testing fee, and the winner earned (in addition to the cost of the test) the sense of smugness afforded by proving one’s intellectual superiority over another.
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So I went to the local MENSA chapter website and gave them my contact info and requested more information from them.
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The invited me to a meet and greet: a cheese and wine reception at the DoubleTree Suites…
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Room 362.
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That’s right. It was just in a regular old hotel room. I badly wanted to go, but I didn’t. I am sure none of the ladies there looked like these chicks with the King.
Oddly enough, the name of the club where this atrocity occurred: “Room 362”
King Douchous could teach Jughead of “Archie” fame a thing or two about crowns, if you know what I mean.
A crown of thorns.
A crown of ivy.
A crown of gold and…
hair.
“In all the land, no man could shape his hair into a crown black, shiny or stiff as King Douchuous IV.”
“Now available from Ronco, only through this special TV offer, the amazing new Infalate-a-Boobs! Just insert under the skin, head down to your local gas station, add approximately 80 PSI, and you too can look just as silly as Pamela Anderson! Just $19.95 plus shipping and handling. (Some minimal assembly required)”
I love those dames. It’s what I dream a night at Hef’s pad would be like.
And might I add, having just reviewed the KDT4 gallery in the HoS, this guy earned it.
A true HOF douchebag like “The 9th” illustrates what a low-level chode-douche Stackhouse is.
I’d rub razor blade on my most intimate of males areas for the chance to get blown off by the bleeth on the left.
Donk rules.
Donk.
Get some.
@ doucheywallnuts
that’s what we like to call a Roman numeral “4.”
@ massengil (4:06), thank you. I’ve taken many CPR courses and now I finally get it. In fact, I think I’ll be reviewing that video often to keep on top.
@massengill, 4:06 p.m. –
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I think I know how to provide CPR now…..though I need someone to perform it on me.
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Any of the ladies from the Hall of Hott or Hall of Pear would suffice.
As of now, Mr. Biscotti is flying over the Atlantic and I’ll be on my way to get him in a few hours. Needless to say, you won’t see much of me for a couple of days. I’ll be looking like this by Sunday morning. Huh huh. See what I did there?
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Ahem.
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Either way, I was getting some last-minute cleaning done around Casa Oblongata earlier, listening to a litItle Glen Campbell (DO NOT JUDGE ME) and I got an idea. So, here ya go, bag boys and bag girls. See you when my Creampie gives way to more ladylike behavior.
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I’ve been hitting these clubs so long
hearing the techno songs
I know every crack in this dirty boardwalk of Jersey
Where muscle’s the name of the game
and tans get applied in a spray of fake orange rain
There’s been a load of gel in my hair
and it seems I’m going nowhere
but I’m gonna be where the Bleeths are hanging on me
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Like a Rhinestone Douchebag
wearing bedazzled jeans in an Ed Hardy rodeo
Like a Rhinestone Douchebag
getting drinks and high-fives from bros that I don’t even know
the whobags wanna follow me home
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Well, really I fly with the Goose
and my pants are hangin’ so loose
and I’m down with pulling a train on Snooki’s va-jay-jay
And I dream about bumpin’ rails
implants for my pecs so I can chase tails
There’ll be a load of jizz on her face
if I could get her back to my place
with sheets on the bed from December of ’93
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Like a Rhinestone Douchebag
flexing hard while I dance in my internet video
Like a Rhinestone Douchebag
can barely breathe in my shirt, it wouldn’t even fit a ten-year-old
and I wonder why I’m always alone….
Like hell we are there to laugh at the silly hair.
I’ve come to the conclusion that mocking the douchebags is just a ruse. We are there to check out the BOOBIES. And the ASS PEAR. And the SUCKLE THIGH.
Like that sign in the Mall: YOU ARE HERE. to do oly one thing: SHOP.
@Medusa, 12:37 a.m. –
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Someone’s balls runneth over.
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No no, LEMME GUESS WHO!
Have fun paddling Mr. B’s gondola through your Venetian waterway. ; )
An early Friday Ass Pear courtesy of HyperSexualGirl’s “tumblr” page:
“Underwater”
Blonde Bimbo Boobs. Me likey.
Me really likey naturals on the left. Is it just me or are all giving the shocker.
@ Medusa,
Nice rendition.
Reminds me of his other hits, “Wichita Douchebag”, and “By the Time I Get To Vegas.”
Looks like King Douchuous, IV is hangin’ with last year’s “leftover” Playboy bunnies. My only solace is that, even if he does get lucky, King D. is taking sloppy seconds from Hefner’s old, shriveled-up, liver-spotted raisin dick.
I know I will be mocked for this, but I just can’t hate King Douchous, IV. He has always just looked like he is having too much fun, like he nows how ridiculous the whole game is but still enjoys himself.
I wonder how big-game ‘bags like the King and Donk manage to survive. And I mean sustainance-wise, shelter-wise. How the hell is he still living? Between what I must imagine is zero marketable job skills, and exposure to so much VD it would make Lindsay Lohan think twice, I marvel that they are still douching it up.
He has seen more boobs than a…..um…a…titty farmer! yeah.
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*titty*
All hail the king. Always pulling quality tail. By quality I mean, well, you know what I mean.
Trollbait – I was going to say the same thing. He’s ridiculous, yes, but at least he’s always smiling!
I’d like to spend some quality time with the princesses…
@ Massengill
I’m sure as soon as you opened the dorr you would have heard…
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“Do you go the screen name ‘Massengill’ on HCwDB? What are you here for? Have a seat over here. I’m Chris Hansen with DateLine.”
if you can mock the legends, you can mock them all.
no smoking near the hair
repeat
no smoking near the hair