Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Lint Diesel

When the “Bro Brothers” finally got Curvy Carrie drunk enough to cuddle, Lint Diesel decided the moment called for revelation of his patented ‘bag maneuver: O.G.S.R.

That’s right.

Orange Groin Shave Reveal.

And babies across the nation wept and screamed and gnashed their teeth in feral protest against the future darkness that awaits us all.

# posted by douchebag1
9:21 am May, 4 Deltus said...

Curvy Carrie is too sweet and hott and, well, curvy to be subjected to that! Carrie, sweetie, what are you doing? Get away from there! OGSR is even more potent, more infectious, than regular GSR, and you’re nigh rubbing your wonderful, round ass right on it. What a shame, what a waste.

9:22 am May, 4 bigphatnotadouche said...

I guess the tongue douche is about to self masturbate.

Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.

Way to go Diesel.

9:30 am May, 4 Crucial Head said...

Unfortunately, Adam Lambert felt the need to usurp the limelight from John Favreau and his spouse during the red carpet premier of ‘Iron Man II: Keeping Mickey Rourke’s Career Alive’.

9:33 am May, 4 DarkSock said...

In his drunken stupor, Thin Diesel forgot to pull down his shorts before attempting to pee in Carrie’s Fisher.

9:35 am May, 4 DarkSock said...

She’s got more curves than the edge of an impending oil slick. And she’s surrounded by more grease than a Gulf Coast pelican.

9:35 am May, 4 DarkSock said...

She’s got more curves than a college football player’s test scores.

9:37 am May, 4 DarkSock said...

She’s got more curves than a plate of angel hair pasta with Rosie O’Donnell’s unshorn groin pressed into it.

.

.

Mmmkay, Italian’s off the menu for lunch…urk

9:37 am May, 4 DarkSock said...

It’s an Atkins Sandwich: all meat surrounded by no bread.

9:51 am May, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Mom won’t be happy when those shorts end up turning everything in the wash orange.

9:55 am May, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Crucial^

Beat me to the Favreau line! You bastard! Can’t wait to see it, “Iron Man II: What Product Placement?”

9:55 am May, 4 mr.reeve said...

Why is Jon Favreau hanging with this douche? I didn’t think he would share his hots with a American Idol-Bag!

10:00 am May, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@mr.reeve

Um, hmmm. Wow. How to say this. There’s only 10 comments ahead of yours. You could, you know, you could maybe, read them before you post your thoughts. Not that they aren’t funny, they’ve just already been said.

10:03 am May, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I’m telling you, if those three were at an elementary school and Lint undid his pants to reveal shaved groin, he’d be on his way to jail.

.

Or at least he’d better be because I’m not gonna be the only on-

.

Ooop. Ackward. Need to go lotion the ankle monitor.

10:07 am May, 4 Vin Douchal said...

I posted this late Saturday night after pounding Budweisers all day but I don’t think anyone saw it :

Purple Unicorn of the Douchepocalypse

10:19 am May, 4 Troy Tempest said...

weekly bound. She is a cupcake. He is baked poo.

10:27 am May, 4 mr.reeve said...

yeah, i fucked up and realized I couldn’t delete it. I am a dick!!

10:28 am May, 4 DarkSock said...

Usually a butt like that has a baby hanging out of it.

10:29 am May, 4 DarkSock said...

@ Vin: Gee, thanks for sharing that image with me.

.

Goodbye Sober Day.

10:29 am May, 4 tall guy said...

I like the look of Carrie, especially her curvaceously small titties. Although I ponder momentarily just how much quality time I could actually spend with her once I’d boned her well-rounded and doubtlessly tight little arse if she willingly chooses to get within coo-ee of these two fools. And by ponder I mean dream, by which I mean wet dream.

10:30 am May, 4 Douche of Hazard said...

@Vin Doucha…

AHHHH my eyes!!!

10:40 am May, 4 Sir David Douchenborough said...

The Lind Diesel is a troublesome species of scrote. Their orange skin coat produces chemical imbalances such that they become impatient, somewhat aggressive, and most of all, foolhardy. As expected, the Lint Diesel, ignoring preliminary mating displays to actually entice the female, immediately attempts to prepare for copulation via the typical orange groin shave reveal without even realizing the embarrassment and rejection that will inevitably ensue. As his tongue tries to lure his potential mate, we see that the Lint Diesel is blissfully unaware of his own subconscious drive for self-pleasure.

10:41 am May, 4 DarkSock said...

Here’s why Denim Shorts died in the 80’s

10:45 am May, 4 Bagnonymous said...

She looks like a tasty, sweet cake of goodness wrapped in fondant.

10:50 am May, 4 Vin Douchal said...

@ D Socck 10:41

That’s Butch, Donkey Douche’s recent cellmate. He made the Donk his bitch during the Donk’s’ recent stretch at Jolliet.

Try to get that image out of your head

11:09 am May, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

She’s gonna be pissed when she sees that orange smear all over the ass of her white dress.

.

Dangit. He’s pressed up against that, yet he’s still trying to lick his own nipples. I want to punch him right in the pussy.

.

Yeah, you heard that right.

11:14 am May, 4 Jacques Doucheteau said...

@ Vin

I had that exact poster in my room when I was a little girl.

11:18 am May, 4 Crucial Head said...

Perhaps this is how you pay proper homage to the god of auto-fellatio.

11:24 am May, 4 Mr. White said...

He’s going to break his neck going for his own cocckk like that.

And I’m fine with that, as long as it doesn’t spoil Carrie’s mood. And by “spoil Carrie’s mood,” I mean “suddenly jolt Carrie back to consciousness after I’ve doped her but before I can deliver her to Medusa for our new ‘Naughty Marine Boot Camp’ feature.”

11:35 am May, 4 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

She is smiling because she knows that tiny penis will not hurt at all.

11:44 am May, 4 ashfish said...

@Vin 10:07

That must have been the inspiration for the WoW Celestial Mount. Not only does Blizzard fuck you for a monthly subscription, but now they want to take away the lube so you can get some fancy pants mount. No thank you Ma’am.

@Darksock 10:41

Fuck man, I was eating my breakfast! I have a very gay friend who looks similar to that guy, I am never going to be able to look at him the same way again. Eeeesssshhh.

Did he miss Underpants 101 in preschool or something? You know, when the teachers told you it’s not appropriate to just pull down your shorts in public? I’ve been pretty fucked up before too, but good lord I have the decency to keep my pants on until I get into the bedroom! I want so much to believe that she is P2P, I will clap my hands, I will throw a coin into some old fountain, ANYTHING just to know that she did not voluntarily go with these wankers.

This is an epic failing on her girlfriends’ part. How did they let this happen? They threw her to the lions so they could get their “Whoo!” on. There’s too much orange, too much grease, and too much potential self loathing in this picture. I feel like I’ve just stared into the world’s biggest McDonalds.

11:51 am May, 4 Wheezer said...

G roin

R eveal

O range

S having

S pectacle

.

.

.

.

It’s the best I can do for now. It’s hard to simultaneously type and hurl.

11:56 am May, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

O.G.S.R’s tongue is stuck to his lower lip because he has that certain problem Jason Biggs had in American Pie. That’s about the only skill he has.

On the other hand, BatBoobs?

12:14 pm May, 4 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Alright, mount up, boys. We gots to go rescue Curvy Carrie from the clutches of the evil Lint Diesel, and his sidekick Bro’Bat.

12:42 pm May, 4 Baron Von Goolo said...

If you can pull yourself away from her ass, note also the powerful curve of Carrie’s bicep. That’s ridiculously hot fitness model Ana Usategui – that dumper is solid ham and sticks out far enough to shelve the complete works of L.Ron Hubbard. Her casual smile is born of confidence: if Diesel tries anything, she has the grip strength to palm his face and crush his skull like a Chinese take out box.

Few things are sexier than knowing your woman’s displeasure could result in a trip to the emergency room. Tends to keep a fellow sharp.

1:02 pm May, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Vin Douchal^ Where’d you get the photo of my old scout master? Of course he said we could just call him “Master”.

@mr.reeves. No harm, no foul. We’re all pining for the “Trash Can” and “Preview” features of old.

1:08 pm May, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche^

ASSSLAM!

GLOOOOT!

BU-CRAACK!

PINKSOCK!

WRECKTUM!!

KA-RUMP!

1:42 pm May, 4 tall guy said...

Ah, yes! Let us not forget the knob in the Batman printed shirt. Have a go at the head on it for starters. The idiot, boozy look. The rendering of surplus hair product to achieve an edgy skull peak. He’s bad…

1:43 pm May, 4 Douche Scroets Scrociety said...

Lick your own nip, what a greasy poo weasel

Nobody does it like the douche named Lint Diesel

Hott’s gots tha boobies, to her booty I toast

Choads shit outta luck if they want a spitroast

1:55 pm May, 4 Douchble Helix said...

God, I hate him. Her, me likey!

3:47 pm May, 4 massengill said...

BVG knows his fitness babes.

Ana Usategui

8:35 pm May, 4 Whoop-di-douche said...

The power of Ana the hot chickadee with two douches Tweedledum and Tweedledee can ne’er compare to Vin’s Purple(Pinko) Unicorn and Darksock’s Hotpants Cornhole porn.

But thanks for sharing, fellas. Xenu also sends his regards.

8:37 pm May, 4 Whoop-di-douche said...

Her curves are so hot, she’d give a man Peyronie’s curvature.

8:41 pm May, 4 Whoop-di-douche said...

Lint Diesel is a truck stop special, but Ana works exclusively at the T&A.

Brake him. Break her.

9:41 pm May, 4 Wedgie said...

God, I love Jennifer Connelly. Ever since The Hot Spot.

10:17 pm May, 4 lupus john st wort said...

i see truffles!!!!!

5:54 am May, 5 Steve L. said...

need… to… stop… fantasizing about Carrie suddenly elbowing those abs.

1:41 pm May, 5 doucheous rex said...

a weekly if i ever saw one. the tongue on top of the ogsr? maybe a yearly too

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