Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Retro Doggie 'Baggin'

One of the key douchebag maneuvers of 2008, The Doggie ‘Bag, has recently become as extinct as the dodo, saber tooth tiger, and the entire eco system of the gulf coast.

Normally this would be good news. Except that it’s been replaced in 2010 by Groin Shave Reveal (GSR).

Nonetheless, here’s a mini throwback pic, with Shirtless Elwood ‘Bag annoying hottie librarian Sandra. It’s more like a half Doggie ‘Bag, (a Chihuahua ‘Bag?) but it qualifies.

# posted by douchebag1
3:26 pm May, 26 creature said...

“is it in yet?”

3:29 pm May, 26 Ned's Atomic Douchebin said...

The head has to be photoshopped onto the douche’s body, no? I had to clean my glasses off to be sure I wasn’t feeling the ill afffects of my first glass of Scotch.

3:30 pm May, 26 Ned's Atomic Douchebin said...

On a lighter note… Bewbs!

3:34 pm May, 26 creature said...

btw, when do we get to see the baguette GSR?

3:40 pm May, 26 DarkSock said...

It’s more like a hot wet new girlie shart stain on his Levis pocket.

3:40 pm May, 26 DarkSock said...

It’s more like him speed fuccen her panty liner

3:40 pm May, 26 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Sandra is thinking that’s all you’re packing? are you sure you’re not really a chick??

3:42 pm May, 26 DarkSock said...

It’s more like he’s going to Hell for his impression of Rio de Janeiro’s Christ the Redeemer

3:43 pm May, 26 DarkSock said...

It’s more like “Umm, my BFF Cindi’s clit is bigger than your junk, Lil Man…”

3:44 pm May, 26 DarkSock said...

It’s more like “Is that a half-roll of Certs in your pocket or are you going home alone tonight?”

3:45 pm May, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

When she has her 18th birthday I would like to see what is under that smock. And by smock I mean bang her tight young ass. He is fedora poo.

3:45 pm May, 26 DarkSock said...

It’s more like “No Shirt, No Mule-Dick, No Cervix”.

3:45 pm May, 26 mr.reeve said...

After El Wood picked up Sandra in his Mazda Miata he stopped by the Motherload in We Ho to pick up his crotch less leather chaps.

3:46 pm May, 26 DarkSock said...

It’s more like a cascade of rabbit-pellet style poo raining out from under her skirt like a fecal jackpot.

3:46 pm May, 26 DarkSock said...

It’s more like “I’M KING OF THE HURRRRLLLL!”

3:48 pm May, 26 Crucial Head said...

Yep, definetly a photoshopped pic. I found the real version here.

3:56 pm May, 26 scrotum pole said...

^^ Nice.

Sandras’s a fine little philly.

3:57 pm May, 26 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“Am I getting being driven down the long Hershey road by the world’s ugliest dyke?”

4:11 pm May, 26 7poundsofDouche said...

I can’t figure it out. Is he going for the Weird Science, Crossroads, or Nick the Dick. Orange, confused of which decade, shaved chest, groin shave reveal. What a DOUCHE.

4:17 pm May, 26 Vin Douchal said...

Looks like Molly Ringwold getting buggered by the corpse of Heath Ledger in the John Hughes/Buffalo Beast production of “Douche Brothers 2010”

4:39 pm May, 26 Marcelle Hickerson said...

I can’t figure it out. Is he going for the Weird Science, Crossroads, or Nick the Dick. Orange, confused of which decade, shaved chest, groin shave reveal. What a DOUCHE.
+1

4:51 pm May, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

After further review from the booth, she looks like the kind of chick that wouldn’t realize which of her lower holes was being pounded after five drinks. I like that.

4:56 pm May, 26 Whoop-di-douche said...

Unfortunately, she’s too shocked by DarkSock’s bad teeth to even care what’s going on below the belt.

5:01 pm May, 26 Whoop-di-douche said...

Hindu women wear the red spot on the forehead between the eyebrows to signify a higher state of transcendent spiritual consciousness; hotchicks wear it above the boobies to signify

a higher level of saline in the implants.

5:09 pm May, 26 Wedgie said...

Her look speaks volumes. She just had a vision of waking up next to him and……noooooo!!!

Get busy gnawing your arm off, sister coyote.

(Did I spell “gnawing” correctly?)

5:10 pm May, 26 Wedgie said...

Gnaturally.

5:10 pm May, 26 Whoop-di-douche said...

Shaved chest and groin shave reveal as pictured here are truly vested interests of douchebags.

And somewhere between Molly Ringwald and Mariah Carey, a hott bows to superior talent and pin-the-tail-on-the-Donkeydouche.

5:22 pm May, 26 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

Sure, pretend you’re blind so your blind chick blind date will grind you…damn him for thinking of it first!

5:23 pm May, 26 Mr. Biggs said...

I think the more parallels we draw between the spreading stench of douchebaggery and the toxic spew tainting the gulf and killing off all natural ecosystems, the more effect we’ll have.

5:38 pm May, 26 creature said...

her look says, “he’s trying to smuggle a tic tac between my cheeks!”

5:40 pm May, 26 Bag A said...

Nice teeth. Floss much?

Sandra = apple pie goodness. I’d hit it.

Get some!

5:43 pm May, 26 doucheywallnuts said...

How is it a guy would shave his entire body and yet leave hair under the arms? It appears that his left pit is hairy…And on a side note this is one of the uglier couples to appear on the site in a very long time.

6:19 pm May, 26 G said...

A far stretch calling him Elwood…more like El”twig”

6:22 pm May, 26 G said...

A smile on the Elwood’bag’s face is telling everyone how much he enjoyed the hot yogurt spooged all over his back from his homey JakeBag the night before…or, his anticipation of such after the hott rejects him.

7:34 pm May, 26 Turdacious said...

Sandra says:

Is that what I think it is?

Yes

He has 3 jelly bellys left in is pocket

7:46 pm May, 26 Turdacious said...

Sorry Sandra

Unfortunately for the Dogster , You are wrong

7:52 pm May, 26 Turdacious said...

I’m not a doctor but i play one at home but

from what i can tell the Dogster had a calcium deficiency growing up, he has more gum then teeth

8:23 pm May, 26 Medusa Oblongata said...

@DarkSock 3:45

Good gravy, I’m printing that on a T-shirt as we speak.

.

That’s the first and last time he will cause her to make that face. The rest of the time she well look more like she belongs in an Edvard Munch painting.

8:23 pm May, 26 Bag Margera said...

Her wild-eyed perplexed concern does it for me.

8:34 pm May, 26 the douche whisperer said...

i like her.

the look on her face reminds me of the first time an ex saw the ol’ sea monster…..curse of the irish you know….

i train hotts, i rehabilitate douches.

i am the douche whisperer.

8:40 pm May, 26 lucious lupus john wishes summer were over said...

the summer of gsr is now on! it was only 70 degrees today in los angeles, yet the gsr was out in full force walking the runyon canyon trails. oh the humanity! at least get orange before turning into shirtless wonders.

8:44 pm May, 26 Vin Douchal said...

T’was a choad that matched hat and vest

To go with a four year old’s chest

On her ass he doth hunch

Yet her knockers, I’d lunch

On her boobs I am very obsessed

8:47 pm May, 26 Vin Douchal said...

A Molly Ringwold look-alike

Ain’t feeling it, this choad’s spike

It’s twat she’d prefer

Yes munching the fur

This fuckface has made her go dyke

8:53 pm May, 26 Vin Douchal said...

Shirtless Bag’s all up in her rear

I’ll bet it’s a fine derriere

Sandra thinks her chest

Is the feature that’s best

That’s why she sticks them out to here

8:56 pm May, 26 Vin Douchal said...

She looks a little bit like Hall Of Hott’s Veronica

9:10 pm May, 26 Crucial Head said...

Elwood’s sporting some shark-like gums

While he grinds on a hott that’s buxom

As his weeny doth grow

The hott, she doth show

That he’ll never wear a magnum.

9:12 pm May, 26 Crucial Head said...

Into the butt this douchebag wanted to pee

But the hott just glanced back awkwardly

For she felt nothing

Despite his deep thrusting

So she gave his balls a smack with her knee.

9:31 pm May, 26 Fatness said...

I need 30 minutes with those tits.

.

.

Who am I kidding. I’d be done in 30 seconds.

.

.

growwwwwwlllllll

10:20 pm May, 26 Euripidouche said...

this reminds me of the job i had driving the mobile mammography bus…our motto

“wham bam thank you mammograms”

10:57 pm May, 26 Baleen said...

Nice vest. I’ve seen homeless people sleeping or half dead under a freeway overpass that had better taste in clothing than this rectal wrangler.

11:44 pm May, 26 Wheezer said...

@Whoop-di-douche, 5:10 p.m. –

.

And somewhere between Molly Ringwald and Mariah Carey, a hott…..”

.

Well played, my good baghunter!

11:46 pm May, 26 Wheezer said...

“Why is my butt buzzing?” librarian hott Sandra asks.

12:49 am May, 27 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

HatNVestBag sports the double mark of the bag on each of his upper cheeks, certainly from the schlong flogging he received in the restroom from a 6’4″ Somoan man named Tim. Odd name for someone of Somoan decent I know. Weird things happen every night at the local watering hole in Scottsdale, “Gaping Mangina.”

.

Naturally, our effeminate bukakke enthusiast has immediately run to his bff Cindy to recount the sordid meat adventure. Tim even let him keep the splooge. It’s an ancient Samoan anti-wrinkle remedy.

.

Cindy is stunned, her only response was, “and he didn’t even let you tickle his gooch?! What a jerk! Surely he knows that you have an ardour for crack hair that can’t be quenched with mere cock slaps. You march right back into that urinal and demand that Tim immediately present you with his exposed cornhole for the rectal sucking of his life.”

.

Cindy is a good best friend, always making sure that her whacked out creatins, er, friends, get treated the right way, Cleveland steamers and hot karls in all.

.

Well Cindy, you just might be my sixty-four percent-psychotic-hott dream lady. Let’s meet. Let’s talk. Then let’s poop on each other… ALL NIGHT LONG. You know you want to, don’t even fight it. We are fecal soulmates separated by a laborythe of interwebbal obstructions. But do not give up hope, we shall be poogether one day.

1:11 am May, 27 Baleen said...

^ well played sir…

6:08 am May, 27 Deltus said...

What is it about the librarian hott that’s just so hott? Gawdam, girl, you fine!

6:32 am May, 27 E-blo's Last Thought said...

@SSS-

.

You complete me. Great post.

.

You are correct. Cindy is dirty in all the right ways.

6:51 am May, 27 Bag Margera said...

@Deltus

I believe, – and correct me if I’m wrong, that the Librarian Hott is the anti-bleeth. I have yet to see one librarian hot, ever fall under the bleeth infection. They hold the cure, and in many ways they are the cure. No matter how much grease, oil, mass-marketed douche products, and pumpita muscle are thrown their way, they still avoid the temptation to shout “woo!” Bags still come and go, but the librarian hot always keeps it librarian. They know that this world is full of bags, but eventually a nottadouche will come around and rescue them. God bless the librarian hott.

7:51 am May, 27 Deltus said...

Maybe book learnin’ could be the cure for the Virus? Perhaps, at least, for Bleeths anyway.

Boss? What say you? Should the Librarian Hotts be studied more, in the search for a cure for the Virus? And by studied more, I mean *fwap fwap fwap*.

8:48 am May, 27 Claude Douchenburg said...

wow Sandra is num num liscious

8:55 am May, 27 Sorta Damocles said...

Like this, Mr Biggs?

.

Shave, Baby, Shave!

8:56 am May, 27 Bagnonymous said...

Looks like his hat, vest, and Buffalo Beast’s shirt (at left) all came in the same “all-in-one” plastic bag, on sale for $19.99 at Walmart. At least this douche was nice enough to give the shirt off his back–literally–to fellow ‘baghunter Beast.

8:58 am May, 27 Bagnonymous said...

Oh, and lest I forget–Sandra is GORGEOUS!!! I just hope she’s “of age.”

10:02 am May, 27 my friends call me @$$hole said...

i am never going to stop having sex with her in my mind

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