Thursday, May 20, 2010

Stackhouse the Poet's "I Cam With a Left Handed Jew"

You asked for it. You got it. The ‘bag hunters have spoken.

HCwDB is proud to present the latest poem from outsider artist and mega doucheclown Stackhouse the Poet, entitled “I Cam With a Left Handed Jew”:

—-

Some skank I use to date tried me in court cause I dumped her. She alleged I beat her ass. She came with a public defender, I cam with a left handed Jew, who mopped the floor With her. It was pretty bad, she ruined my 3rd graduation and much more, but seeing her be made a full of in court was priceless. U don’t bring a knife to a gun fight, and u sure as sh*t don’t bring a public defender against 1 of the top lawyers in America 10 years running Enjoy paying for the court reporter 4 the 5 hour trial u went on. A book of lies always falls like a sh*tty garbage bag.

—-

—-

Back 2crushin vag sets & pounding booze, “I got public defenders free,the “Im broke, please defend me womans refugee camp” trying to ask me how much I drink a day. Well, odds R more than u, I make more than 40k a year, so I can reward my self on a much higher merit than u ever can. But I gotta give props 2 ur bootleg degree &bank roll, total boss sh*t. Im out, Im free from false accusations, Get Some

—-

—-

Making $, still being represented on websites, doing work on my days off. That should tell u something, when I win in court or break a bitch off it makes headlines. When most who try ur man do the same, no friends, no family, not sh*t comes out in recognition 4 u. Just doin famous ass, good looking me, my FB page retails at 100k with 1500 friends. Add that up and see what man ur playing tricks with. On my page a lot aparently. Its not how many u have its the traffic the produce. I’m making Zburg f*cking stacks and he knows it. I’ve been told, that’s all I’m saying Get Some

—-

Get Some, indeed, young douche poet of a generation. Get some, indeed.

# posted by douchebag1
9:04 am May, 20 Medusa Oblongata said...

First. To vomit.

9:08 am May, 20 Medusa Oblongata said...

Jimminy effin’ Christmas, what the hell was all that? I didn’t even understand that entire las paragraph. My Facebook page retails at 100K? You can’t sell a Facebook page, last time I checked, or else I’d have hawked mine for some crack ages ago. I’m….I just….I’m gonna put my head under a running lawnmower now, to ease the pain.

.

“My third graduation”? Well, my brother had one from his kindergarten. So 8th grade, then High School…Hot damn! Stacky really IS a high school graduate! I take it back, then. And bring that left hand jew to the school with you, you need to sue them for teaching you to talk like a toothless one-eyed wino ranting on a street corner.

9:08 am May, 20 bigphatnotadouche said...

I’m not sure I understand Stack’s rant. Working in the real world forces me to use spell check on pretend words.

I guess living at your mom’s house helps pay the legal bills.

Get some you douche.

9:10 am May, 20 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

I wonder what Stack’s first language is.

9:15 am May, 20 massengill said...

LOL! Zuckerberg is a potential multi-billionaire, Stack is a bartender. Fullish.

9:15 am May, 20 mr.reeve said...

I think his time here on this site is over. I am not sure I understood one word the fuck stick said. My eyes and brain hurt now and I regret asking for more of Stackhouse. I am gonna go take a nap now.

Get some!!!

9:16 am May, 20 Bagnonymous said...

Oh my God! OH MY GOD!!! Stackhouse, your spelling and grammar are getting more comical every day! AAAHHH FUCK ME this is truly amazing!!!

9:20 am May, 20 smackdouche said...

Maybe I’m just a FULL about such things, but victims don’t need public defenders.

If I’m wrong, I will look totally fullish.

And by doing work on your day off makes it, by definition, not your “day off”.

9:20 am May, 20 Bagnonymous said...

I beg to differ with Stackhouse though–I, too, make more than 40k a year, but I still find it rather difficult to reward myself on high merit.

.

F*ck me and my middle-class lifestyle.

9:28 am May, 20 Bag Margera said...

This guy is bragging that his high-class lawyer, got him out of assault charges, from a girl who simply didn’t have a enough proof. Stacky, go fuck yourself.

9:31 am May, 20 E-blo's Last Thought said...

I love The Stack.

.

Can you imagine sitting down at a bar and having him roll up on you?

.

When I go to sleep, I hope and pray every night that someday The Stack will roll up on Medusa trying to “Get Some.”

.

Dear…Sweet…Jeebus…please let this happen some day. I know we’ll miss Stack, but the story from the other end on how he met his demise would be AWESOME.

9:35 am May, 20 End the Haberdouchery said...

“A book of lies always falls like a sh*tty garbage bag.” I think you just wrote your own epitaph Stacky. What? You didn’t think I knew what a eugoogly was?

9:36 am May, 20 Bag Margera said...

And yes, Stackhouse’s facebook page retails at 100K… of y’know, that internet money.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idZOVqdcqno

9:41 am May, 20 Whoop-di-douche said...

Let’s start calling it what it is: off-centered prose, not poetry.

Get some literary education.

9:41 am May, 20 Hank Moody said...

If only Stacky and Arthur Kade could blog together. We would never need another nuclear weapon. Their combined power would flatten cities.

9:51 am May, 20 Bag Margera said...

Hopefully the expression on this girls face is the realization that she’s being groped by a pair sword-crossing violent-offending jackals celebrating their release from their boyfriends’ prison cell, after cheating the justice system with Stacky’s expensive family lawyer. Hopefully she punches Stacky in the Shnoz, without any way for him to prove it in court.

9:51 am May, 20 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

UHHH! you guys voted to hear more of this f’ing narcissistic retard! shame on you all. I must be getting old, cause I can’t figure out what most of his verbiage is trying to say. he possibly raped some girl and somehow beat the criminal and civil cases? just what you want to brag about on the internet. DB1, new vote, to banish stackhouse

9:55 am May, 20 Euripidouche said...

urban dictionary:

“left-handed jews 27 up, 5 down

Although it is a well known fact that lefties give the best falatio. Resent studies have found that left-handed jews give the ultimate head. Lefties are exellent, but this doesnt hold true for rightie jewish women, they use their teeth or have braces with the little hooks… ouch…

dude, not the righties, go for the left-handed jews! ”

no idea what this has to do with a court case, in which the person claiming to be assaulted, would be the defendant, but i would hate to see how they inflate the billable hours if you are paying lawyers to blow you.

9:59 am May, 20 crazy-sexy-douche said...

Stackhouse, you are a testament to the U.S. education system. Just please don’t have kids.

10:02 am May, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

If Stackhouse is playing that he is an idiot, he is a genius. If this is a fraud by one of the regs it is superior genius. If it is real it is even more hilarious. Bragging about 40k+ is priceless. I love Stackhouse but I feel we will tire of him in two weeks and the trollers will come back like happened last time.

10:04 am May, 20 Richard said...

Uh, a plaintiff in a civil suit can’t have a public defender. And you need to make a hell of a lot more than 40k a year to hire one of the best left-handed Jew lawyers in America. Maybe I shouldn’t try to figure out exactly what Stackhouse the Poet is trying to say.

10:17 am May, 20 Vin Douchal said...

First of all, Stackie, you CAN bring a knife to a gun fight as pulled off in grand fashion by James Coburn in The Magnificent Seven:

Coburn Is The Coolest Cat , Ever

Secondly, there is a Jason Stackhouse out there right now that has turned his good looks into a career as an actor. Not by building himself up in his own mind with conceited prose that would make an eight grade english teacher have a cerebral aneurysm trying to decifer it, but by having talent. Talent
, get some!

Still, I must admit, it is entertaining, much in the way my monthly visit to realogrish.com turns my stomach. But , like with Stackie here, I must check in to keep myself grounded.

10:17 am May, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

With every post we find out more about the Beanlicker. Such as:

Stacky, how would you describe your birth? “A book of lies always falls like a sh*tty garbage bag.” Interesting Interesting…

What was your first sexual experience like? “I cam with a left handed Jew”. Hurley is Jewish? And left handed?

So what happened when Plinky’s mom showed up in your third grade classroom? “she ruined my 3rd graduation and much more”. Aw, that’s too bad.

So, what are your future plans? “Back 2crushin vag sets & pounding booze”. I’m sorry but could you explain what a “vag set” is for the audience members? I’m assuming it is what you call scissoring with Hurley?

Just one last one for us Stacky. I know you’re a huge Justin Bieber fan. What would your dream date be like with him? “Just doin famous ass, good looking me” You deserve each other.

10:17 am May, 20 lawyer d-hole said...

All we’d have to do to verify this insane story about being sued by a public defender (?) is get a case number and pull the docket. Pretty sure Stack doesn’t have the stones to offer it up. A trial transcript would make for a great post though… And yes – enough of Stack. At this point he’s clearly just making things up.

10:21 am May, 20 Army of DOuche-ness said...

uhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! $40k a year stackin’ singles like my relationship status, after all of FSU got in ya’ ass.

Dont call me left-handed, call me sinista’ Stackhouse, cuz im down with etymology but no apology for crushin’ ya face after i crushed your pussy, brought my right-brained esquire to beat the charges cuz he’s one of G-D’s chosen.

Im making another of G-D’s chosen $ off my fame with no cut of the revenue so yo bitch, call it ego-driven indentured servitude. uh uh uh.

Army of Douche-ness

10:25 am May, 20 doucheintheheartoftexas said...

Stacky: Perhaps your attorney, you know, “one of the top lawyers in America 10 years running”, should have explained that the person representing your ex is called an ‘Assistant District Attorney’ not a public defender. Further, perhaps when the bailiff (you know the guy making more than 40k a year dressed like barney fife) said rather loudly “The State of Florida versus that fucktard over there”, maybe that was a clue as to what your situation was?

And it’s usually a bad idea to hire a lawyer based on an ad in an inflight magazine listing the 10 best steakhouses; seafood restaurants or lawyers.

Also getting reamed in a bar toilet by any of the guys from jersey shore does not qualify as doing famous ass.

10:31 am May, 20 Vin Douchal said...

What he’s refering to is that a public defender probably makes $40,000 a year. Stack makes more as a bartender , which is likely.

However, the public defender may very well turn his experience into a stellar résumé and parlay it into millions as a private lawyer.

So in essence, this will play out well in a few years when the PD has the full force of a large legal firm behind him to drain Stackie’s trust fund after a sexual assault on an unsuspecting victim.

Get Some! , trust fund lawsuit cash, that is

10:34 am May, 20 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Since when does a public defender bring suit for battery? This guy should have his own show!!!!

He is like the energizer bunny, only dumber than a fencepost!

10:35 am May, 20 Ariscrotle said...

Can’t wait for this episode of Judge Joe Brown to air. Keep us updated on the air date Stack.

10:37 am May, 20 Hong Kong Douchey said...

I agree with E-blo. Let’s make Stacky Medusa’s first confirmed kill so she can work on her “Double-O” status. It’s a win-win.

10:39 am May, 20 Whoop-di-douche said...

Stackhouse needs to do his prose readings at an IHOP over a short stack, where he would surely be run out the door by irritated customers after his being smeared with syrup to attract flies away from the trash area out back; then exterminated by the next de-fogger to come down the neighborhood streets.; all the while yellin’,”GET SOME BACON!”

10:39 am May, 20 Douchey Smurf said...

I wonder how much booze this pile of gibbon shit downed before he hammered out that prose on his Blackberry? None. Oh.

10:51 am May, 20 G said...

There’s no such thing as a public defender that prosecutes.

In EVERY criminal case in America, there is a prosecuting attorney; they are never paid for with private funds…

10:56 am May, 20 Douche Springsteen said...

This is like the decadence of Baudelaire’s “On Wine & Hashish”, the raw sexuality of Miller’s “Tropic of Capricorn”, and the mind bending non sequitur prose of Burroughs’ “Naked Lunch” filtered through the mind a community college dropout who spent his Intro to Lit classes trying to peek up skirts and drawing pictures of customized hot rods. Truly amazing. Someone call the Library of Congress, we’ve another one for the archives.

10:57 am May, 20 Mr. Biggs said...

Wins with a high priced attorney against a public defender. Gee. I’m sure that removes all shadow of a doubt.

For the record, my experience with the law is that if you know you’re right, you don’t even need an attorney.

11:04 am May, 20 Deltus said...

God that makes my head hurt. It’s not even stream-of-consciousness writing. *winces*

11:05 am May, 20 massengill said...

Go here: http://cvweb.clerk.leon.fl.us

.

Search “Beinlich”

11:08 am May, 20 massengill said...

LOL. He had red/blue flashing lights on his car. Think they were cop lights or little LEDs on the hood?

.

Yeah. Me too.

11:08 am May, 20 massengill said...

Number: 37 2010 DR 001452

Action: DATING VIOLENCE

Status: CLOSED

Filed : 4/30/2010

Citation:

11:09 am May, 20 massengill said...

Number: 37 2006 TR 059854

Action: ALTERED EXHAUST SYSTEM

Status: CLOSED

Filed : 10/31/2006

Citation: 5459-SDK

11:17 am May, 20 chaserofthehott said...

MOLE!

BLOODY MOLE!

WE’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT THE BLOODY MOLE, BUT THERE’S A BLOODY MOLE WINKING ME IN THE FACE!

11:22 am May, 20 massengill said...

Altered exhaust…

.

Whistle tips?

11:25 am May, 20 Vin Douchal said...

Dayum, Massengill, nice work junior sleuth.

What’s with the animal charges? Did he glean his turkey frying skills using live squirrels?

11:28 am May, 20 mr.reeve said...

Maybe the chick sang this song to him and he freaked out on her. Maybe not.

11:31 am May, 20 Et Tu Douche? said...

I still think he’s a Skweezy Jibb’s wannabe, more interesting is that

http://www.seminoles.com/sports/m-swim/mtt/beinlich_jason00.html

11:37 am May, 20 E-blo's Last Thought said...

First: @ Massengill – NICE WORK. Why does his birthdate change though?

.

Second: The more I’ve thought about this, I’ve decided I’m done with Stack. This feeling immediately came to light after looking at a picture of my daughter and imagining her bringing home a *shudder* Stack-esque being from college.

.

FINALLY: Be careful who you f*ck with Stack. This girl may have been a coke-freak f*ck-up who was trying to make a buck.

.

OR, she is the daughter of someone like me.

Who, upon being thrust into a situation where his daughter was assaulted by some piece of garbage, lowbrow hick, would be more than willing to spend the rest of his life in jail to fully rectify the situation…

11:38 am May, 20 Mr. Biggs said...

Could somebody PLEASE explain to me how to get a pic up on my login here?

11:41 am May, 20 chaserofthehott said...

PRO SE, means she represented herself, and he doesn’t even have a lawyer listed. What a piece of shit!

.

.

.

.

AND MOLE!

11:50 am May, 20 Matt said...

Um…$40K a year is not a lot of money. Is this guy serious? Please get me a link to his facebook page so that I can test such waters…

11:51 am May, 20 Et Tu Douche? said...

@ Mr. Biggs

If you find how let me know, I’ve been trying myself

Another thought on Stack I think he must of hit his head off the diving board one too many times thus his incoherent rambling. It’s the only way I can explain it.

11:54 am May, 20 Vin Douchal said...

@ Biggsy

This is truly complexing at first. The easiest way to explain it is to go to wordpress.com and make a password to sign in there. They will send a password that resembles a hieroglyphic to your e-mail. This is your PW for here.

Then, forget wordpress forever. You never need them again. They suck hairy gibbon ass anyway.

Sign in @ HCwDB with your wordpress name and password. I copy paste my PW off of the email they sent me to sign in here every day.

Commence mocking / fwapping / hunting for Ass Pear

11:54 am May, 20 Vin Douchal said...

You can upload your photo in WordPress after you get a PW. It will automatically show up here

12:01 pm May, 20 Rick Derris said...

It’s possible that she was suing him in civil court and the case was dismissed after a motion for summary judgment, but “public defender” does indicate that Stackhouse was subject to a criminal complaint. He should watch more “Law & Order” to get the nomenclature correct.

Stackhouse, buddy, I know that you’re going to read these comments, so please note that last year I paid 50% more in taxes than what you earned (buy “Math For Dummies” if you don’t understand). So GET SOME – as in GET SOME EDUCATION!

12:04 pm May, 20 douche ex machina said...

Stackhouse’s vibrant prose read like a modern day version of Dreiser’s American Tragedy, except he gets off the murder (or in this case assault) charges. I feel this is a story that will inspire generations yet to come. To do what? I suppose time will tell.

12:07 pm May, 20 Wheezer said...

“I CAM WITH A LEFT HANDED JEW” – I guess Shithouse likes to record his boyfriend giving him reacharounds.

.

Massengill, nice work! Boy is that Shithouse a fucknut…..

12:11 pm May, 20 army of douche-ness said...

hahahaha Rick Derris????!!!! you’re an arch-fucking-bushman!!!!! you used to fuck Caitlin Bree before she got engaged to that Asian design major..

but your friend Cohee never gets laid…

AoD

12:20 pm May, 20 Baleen said...

If you find the texts of Stackhousian obscure and overrun will seemingly endless language signifiers all playfully floating above any true meaning, and contexts shift throughout the reading, do not dismay. What we have here is a perfect example of Derrida’s “Differance”. A Wiki link will provide more detail:

.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diff%C3%A9rance

.

In others words, it makes no fuccen sense.

12:23 pm May, 20 Claude Douchenburg said...

I am just hoping, hell I am praying that the little twurp getting some titty pillow is Stack’s left handed Jew Lawyer. Priceless…Get Some!

12:32 pm May, 20 uscrascal said...

wow… $40K a year… it seems playing football, doing time at the swellery, and crushing vag on the reg doesn’t pay off as much as one would hope. but then again, he’s already living the dream… so i guess the joke is on all of us suckers.

Get Some (spelling/grammar lessons)

12:34 pm May, 20 Dicy said...

Bahahhaa! So tragic! Its awesome.

I found it pretty funny that he thinks 1500 friends is impressive. If he really did go to college then he should know that it’s not that hard for the involved student to have 2K friends easy. Of course, your number of FB friends is a really lame thing to brag about anyway.

$40K is a lot to me because I work part-time, but I know that an adult who has made it like Stackhouse thinks he has makes WAY more than that. He’s not fooling anyone. One again, a really lame thing to brag about.

Why haven’t people like Stack realised yet that when you brag and talk shit like this that NO respectable person takes them seriously. His shit talking is a red flag that he’s exaggerating about his ‘lifestyle.’

Stack: GET SOME fucking class.

12:39 pm May, 20 Ohio FJ said...

I sure am glad he didn’t make a full out of me…

12:49 pm May, 20 Flounder said...

My Favorite:

Number: 37 2006 MO 004571

Action: TALL – ATTACKING HUMAN -1ST OFFENSE

Status: CLOSED

Filed : 1/27/2006

Citation: 0545

which makes me wonder is there a short – attacking human?

1:01 pm May, 20 The Blessed Scrotini said...

This went from epic mocking to an absolute perfect attack. I can’t stop laughing!

Oh and Stack (or w/e your name is) may you catch your millionth crab.

1:03 pm May, 20 Douchesquire said...

It look like it was a Protection from Abuse case, at least thats what they call them in PA. If Florida’s statute is like ours, plaintiffs are entitled to free legal counsel, and people are always calling them public defenders because they are free to the client. Here in PA, the burden of proof lies with the plaintiff as always, but the case only has to be proven by a preponderence of the evidence (more likely than not). So stackys lawyer probably had to face the new kid at legal services, and schooled him, happens every day.

1:06 pm May, 20 Hapich said...

Is this guy for real? I found a Jason Beinlich on facebook from Tallahassee. I think it’s him. Only 9 friends

1:14 pm May, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

My pastoral tax exemptions are more than Stackhouse makes on the reg. The Mrs. Reverend Chad Kroeger makes twice that much appraising houses part time. And good work with the legal bullshit Massengill. Most of the legal comments on here are corrrect or close to true. The guy is crazy funny but I think only once a week.

Goodnight. I have to get my orange on. And by orange on, I mean cut the grass.

1:27 pm May, 20 Da Da Dooooschey said...

I.just.want.to.punch.this.ignorant.d-bag.in.the.face.

But g-damn, he is a funny REH-tard.

1:39 pm May, 20 soy bomb said...

I’m so over Stack. He’s a “TALL – ATTACKING HUMAN” piece of sh*t. Please, DB1, no more glory for this clown.

1:48 pm May, 20 Bag Margera said...

@ Ohio FJ

Ahah! Who does he think he’s fulling?

1:54 pm May, 20 Army of DOuche-ness said...

and per Dicy’s comment wrt to # of facebook friends, I myself say a lot of awful things on facebook. I’d like to think the satirical nature of most would put them in the nottadouche category, but if you dont know me pretty well, it’s possible that like a Bret Easton Ellis book you could get the wrong idea about me and so with that being the case I try to keep the # of friends I have somewhat slim and am sometimes paranoid about whether if anyone beyond my true, real immediate friends sees things, and then cares at all, am I saying and doing things that have a negative impact on my life beyond their value?

Stackhouse on the other hand, WANTS 1500 people to have access to these thoughts.

2:02 pm May, 20 Blair said...

40K per YEAR!? For reals? My main man Stack gots the mad chedda’ son! (checking urban dictionary to see if that made sense….nope, eh screw it).

Dude be ridin’ in jets, hangin’ with celebs, gettin’ them Southpaw Jews to bail him out. That’s how we roll!

2:09 pm May, 20 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

seems he is short a few hundred friends. search his name on the face thing, his page will pop up with pic worthy of this site. enough of this loser, lets move on.

2:15 pm May, 20 Anonymous said...

Being taken out of context is priceless. For instance the title of the poem, I cam with a left handed jew. Its came fuck wad, hate on my grammar all day, this isn’t a dissertation its a status update on FB. And its came not cam. 2ndly all my statuses are not copy and pasted, their fucking paraphrased to make my shit look bad. And to all u fucking idiots that can’t understand that me saying I make OVER 40K a year means that if I were poor and made 40K a year I would need a public defender. I obviously don’t. Duh duh duh artards. Furthermore, to the ass hair that thinks that civil cases can not have defense paid for by the state ur a fucking idiot. Poor battered women have advocates to represent them, fully funded by tax payers money. So hate on my 3 degrees all u want, u may want to google the statutes, and regulations regarding woman’s rights u uneducated, sexist, dumb fuck. U can read all the Harry Potter books u want, memorize the constitution that dictates ur every move in USA than come holla at me. Fucking idiots, and ur home boy running the sight has to slide me by putting up inaccurate “quotes” to make me look bad. COOL TRY

2:44 pm May, 20 Dicy said...

@AOD

I also try to be catious about who are my friends and I have purgings of my FB when I realise that some people I met Freshmen year probably don’t give a crap about me nor me them. Its pobably a silly thing to care about what people think about my statuses, but I want to go to grad school some day and maybe work for NASA so I try to keep it cleanish and choose my friends wisely. Aren’t you glad you made the cut! 😛

2:45 pm May, 20 Claude Douchenburg said...

Sorry Anonymous I know Stackhouse, and you sir, ain’t no Stackhouse.

2:45 pm May, 20 Vin Douchal said...

Hey, Stackie, I had ya. I explained that $40K quip for you up there.

But, you know, you may want to read your posts before you click them in. Maybe read them out loud to see if they make any fucking sense whatsoever prior to validating everything we think about a recipient of a college education in the south?

It’s okay if you run your finger across the screen and move your mouth as you read….

Can I now say that Db1 is my homeboy? Does that make me an artard? Cool!

2:50 pm May, 20 "Big" Tony Ventresca said...

I really hope that’s not Carli Banks being pawed by these morans. I might lose some respect for her, even though the photo makes it clear the hott is being ambushed.

3:09 pm May, 20 Scooby Douche said...

First of all, when is Dicy getting her spot in the Hall of Hott? Damn girl, if that avatar is you…..

Second, seriously Stacky, $40K per YEAR? I make that every month. It’s called law school, then work your ass off building a practice, instead of wasting your youth drinking beer and fantasizing about getting some pussy. Then KA-frickin’-CHING! Nothing attracts pussy like my Porsche.

As for the whole “public defender” thing: If you paid for private counsel, you were the defendant. If she had a government lawyer, it was a prosecutor. If it was a prosecutor, you are an asshole.

Oh, wait, we already knew that.

Seriously, Dicey for Hall of Hott. And whoever that girl is in doucheoftheheartoftexas’ avatar.

3:28 pm May, 20 doucheywallnuts said...

I think Bea Arthur wore the same shirt as Stack-douche is wearing in an episode of “Maude” back in the 1970s. Based on his Facebook stats I really don’t see any reasonable way that I can make fun of him any more than that.

3:29 pm May, 20 Horace Dangleballs said...

@ Anon

“Being taken out of context is priceless.”

No, it means YOU are not presenting a clear thought in a cogent and precise manner. Illiterate, ignorant, and infantile ramblings make you look like what you are… a lowlife douchebag.

Who will rid me of this insipid douche?

3:37 pm May, 20 Dicy said...

@Scoobey Douche

Hehe thanks! That was taken last summer on my vacation with my friend. But really, anyone can look good on a boat!

3:39 pm May, 20 Luke said...

40k per year, eh? I made that today shorting IBM. Nice Stack, bragging about a middle class salary. I honestly just don’t understand.

3:39 pm May, 20 Anonymous said...

Omg. U cock holsters are fucking priceless. I make more than 40K a year hence the baller lawyer as opposed to a sorostitute slut that couldn’t get her mommy and daddy to flip the tab cause she’s a lying skank. And cool try mr law school guy, my entire education was paid in full on scholarship. Plus if u think lawyers, politicians, and lobbyists actually fuck their haggard wife 3 times a week, and attend catholic church promptly on sundays ur a fucking ass clown, and u ur self must work in the public defenders office. Sorry yall are to fucking dumb to realize anything of relevance, like that Db1 actually takes me out of context. My actual status updates are far different from the shit he puts up on here. Don’t edit my genius, just let me be the scummer I am and don’t try to down play my swag. Get Some

3:49 pm May, 20 Horace Dangleballs said...

“hence” is a giveaway.

You poser.

3:52 pm May, 20 soy bomb said...

…I can’t believe that I’m actually going to defend Stack, but he clearly (well, as clearly as a TALL – ATTACKING HUMAN can) states that he makes more than $40 K/yr, implying that anyone who makes this paltry sum are below him in class, stature, drinking ability etc.

.

.

.

.

Carry on.

4:23 pm May, 20 Anonymous said...

Dam I’m blowing up on the web today. Its all good though, Its sad when the real hating is dictated through edited updates, horrible pictures,& no sense of common curtsy. 4 example, I’m making u $ via web traffic, & u 4some reason need 2 dumb down & miss post my shit because u think it will help with said traffic. News flash, Im a fucking dirt bag, Im smart, well off, & have plenty of pics with top notch puss that u leave out just 2 mislead ur audience. I never once emailed u, or asked 2 take shit off ur site. Just present the real deal, thats all Im saying. Get Some

5:31 pm May, 20 Troy Tempest said...

Stacky, my boy. Let me explain something to you.

First off, I have rancid punk ass retards like you in my classes periodically. Twat hounds like you study hard and you often manage to eek out a passing grade. You deserve proper acknowledgment for that. Beyond that, and this is, sadly, VERY typical of your generation – you have no sense of history. I know, the neocon douchenozzles told you that history was over, but actually, not so much.

And history is made by what we write and what we keep around.

And you, Stacky, have provided history with a great steaming heap of your brain drool, forming a rich compost of Stacky knowledge dressed in Stacky grammar sense. And yes, for the next few years, it will all seem fun and games and it will all seem cool, and then, all that you have written will come back to haunt you, because nothing is lost on the interweb thingie. It all get s filed somewhere. Lord knows archive.org is doing their best to keep it all somewhere. I would hope (hint hint to db1) that this site is already being automatically archived on archive.org for the sake of posterity.

And it is that posterity that you will live to fear.

Because your name, your picture, and your words will live on. And in a few years, you might have to face one of us as a boss or colleague, and we will have the goods on you.

Your career is over before it began, chump.

Get some, stacky. Go and get some while you can.

You stupid narcissistic ill mannered misogynistic douchebag.

Sleep well, dork.

5:39 pm May, 20 Stack Mouse said...

40 grand a year?….really. You must be rockin’ that customer sevice job. Why don’t you crush a job interview instead of your right hand.

5:46 pm May, 20 Anonymous said...

Troy temptest: what u don’t get dumb fuck, I’m already connected, this website make me money, prep ur self for the real Jersey Shore. Yall are so fucking dumb. I have no doubt more degrees than u. If u would like me to post my high def video of me graduating each times with honors no fucking problem. U teach cause ur poor, I need no job because I’m rich to begin with. Ur so fucking on my hating dick. I don’t need to work ever, and ill still drive a fucking Lambo. Don’t be stupid haters, I def don’t care about ur bull shit assessments on my actual life. So, how’s about this, suck my balls, eat my dick and cry me a river that u couldn’t endure what I did for school. All u haters talk a big game, but not one of yall post a website, post a referral of validity. Not shit. Eat my ass and suck my balls. Keep hating, ill keep laughing at yall homos tucking in ur child cocks and sleeping alone every night

6:15 pm May, 20 Dicy said...

@Anon

Hehehe okay really which one of you is this? Darksock? Reverend Chad? Vin? Maybe DB1?

6:37 pm May, 20 Euripidouche said...

hey anonostack, the way you do it, it isn’t a “common curtsy” when you stay bent kneed for 5 minutes and make like a circus seal, its something else entirely.

though i have no doubt your parents taught you that was the proper way to greet a stranger.

6:58 pm May, 20 Douchble Helix said...

Immortal.

7:55 pm May, 20 Johnny Applesack said...

I’m sorry, Baby Jesus, for asking for the Stack…

What the fuck was he trying to communicate in that rant? Can someone illuminate?

Help us, DB1, you’re our only hope……..

8:26 pm May, 20 curbyourendouchiasm said...

I’m speechless. Okay, not really.

Stank–whether you are posting as anonymous or not, you claimed in one of your other updates that you are 6’2″, but your diving profile lists you as 5’11”. Which is it?

Your pictures (even if not with ‘top notch puss’) indicate you are going to be one fat fucker in about 4-5 years at the outside. If you really are rich, you should have nothing to worry about, you should still be able to pull some skanks even though you’ll look like Bluto from Popeye. Apparently you assault women like him too.

The dude who said he’d spend the rest of his life in jail to make sure things were rectified for his daughter? If it was my daughter, I’d get away with fucking your fat ass up.

I remember your claim to (was it?) 7% body fat–don’t care, you’re gonna blow up alright: like that motherfucker in Monty Python after the mint.

Get some

(slobber on my dick bitch)

8:31 pm May, 20 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

Even if annonastack’s 3 degrees really exist, they don’t impress much. ‘Round here, nurses make more than MBAs, mostly because they’re more useful.

And it’s amazing how he’s got 3 degrees, a lambo, and is too rich to work, but still loses hotts to lacrosse players. Either that’s because they figured out Stack’s full of crap, or there is something very, very wrong with him.

9:33 pm May, 20 creature said...

he sure makin’ full of us, Boss

10:43 pm May, 20 The Awful Truth said...

Re: db1 actually takes me out of context

Easy fix–make your fb open to your adoring public.

11:00 pm May, 20 jodiju said...

Please stop the world. I would like to get off. No amount of Earl Grey will set my morning back on track now.

How come your ‘Anonymous’ posts in this thread strongly resemble the spew at the top of the page if db1 is misrepresenting the way you post on Facebook Stackhouse?

11:05 pm May, 20 Anonymous said...

Good grief, Stackhouse is lame.

11:05 pm May, 20 YES, THATMUTHUFUCKA!! said...

100!!

AHHH… SO GOOD TO BE BACK.

11:58 pm May, 20 Wheezer said...

dissertation

paraphrased

furthermore

advocates

constitution

scholarship

assessments

.

Above is a list of some of the “big words” that would confuse and frustrate BostonDoucheBag yet were spelled out properly by our friend Shithouse.

.

However, in a pathetic and almost Pavlovian fashion, Shithouse remains consistently troubled by the following:

.

“y-o-u”

“y-o-u-r”

“y-o-u-‘-r-e”

“a-r-e”

.

One would think that a person with “three degrees” could and would show a semblance of proper spelling and grammar, especially when that same person claims to have graduated with honors. But now I wonder if Shithouse’s posts here are metaphorical in nature…..? Perhaps he really is a poet?

.

Orrrrr, he wants to show off his abilities to spell out the larger words while hiding his shortcomings behind bombast. Just some thoughts from a “hater”…..

.

Shithouse: “I need no job because I’m rich to begin with.

– Translation: “I’m a trust fund baby. Daddy takes care of everything and Mom sleeps with the gardener.”

12:04 am May, 21 Wheezer said...

And sonofabitch, here’s Stacky’s mom!

.

That’s Daddy looking over her shoulder…..and yeah, that’s the gardener on the left (as if I had to point that out).

12:10 am May, 21 jodiju said...

Also, to those speaking in defence of Stackhouse’s brag that he makes ‘over 40k’ per year, wouldn’t someone who makes substantially more than that write ‘over 50k’ per year or ‘over 60k’ per year? After all, Stackhouse is no shrinking violet. Clearly 40k pa represents some kind of watermark for him.

12:14 am May, 21 jodiju said...

Here’s something else that just occurred to me; is it even possible to have completed three degrees before your 27th birthday? I have no idea how the US system works. Or, judging by Stackhouse’s prose, doesn’t.

12:41 am May, 21 Em said...

Stack makes me feel stupid. Because I don’t understand what he writes. What does it mean?

Translation please?

2:21 am May, 21 The Great Gilderdouche said...

Oh look, Shithouse is a low level flunky at a Florida lobbyist firm:

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/jason-beinlich/1a/9bb/3ab

How fitting. If you’re registered at Linkedin look at his profile: Zero connections. hahahahahahahahahahaha

2:39 am May, 21 Jacques Doucheteau said...

@ Dicy 3:37

I never look good on a boat. But I do make more than $0.5k a year.

2:44 am May, 21 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Maybe he’s talking about three degrees of separation…

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…from bonobo chimpanzees.

4:12 am May, 21 Steve L. said...

over 40K a year? i guess Stackhouse is gonna need that inheritance to keep bankrolling the best left-handed Jewish lawyers in town.

5:12 am May, 21 Steve L. said...

and boy, $7 million ain’t a lot when you got the right bloodsucking lawyers.

6:04 am May, 21 E-blo's Last Thought said...

@ The Great Gilderdouche – Nice find. For sadistic entertainment purposes, I’d say this person is more important:

http://www.linkedin.com/profile?viewProfile=&key=29012504&authToken=O5yJ&authType=name&trk=coprofile_in_network

6:09 am May, 21 ReverendDoom said...

what an asshole…

she got a public defender and he was tried…. yea that makes no sense there Stack. Either you were on trial and you had a public defender or she was trial for kicking your ass and had a public defender – I think it’s the latter.

either way he’s a mega douche

6:44 am May, 21 Army of DOuche-ness said...

You drive a Lambo Sinista’ Stacky? yeah well I drive a Nissan Altima I bougt off my dad so I could put more $ into Roth IRA’s cuz we’re a poor immigrant family. How do you like them apples!!!??????

6:46 am May, 21 Bag Margera said...

You can’t spell. You’re not smart.

6:53 am May, 21 Bag Margera said...

And what relevance does lying sorority girls who can’t get their parents to pay for education, and lawyers and politicians having sex with their wives, and going to church, have to do with anything.

8:36 am May, 21 DarkSock said...

Bag Margera 6:46 am FTW; can’t say it better than that.

8:39 am May, 21 StudentGigolos said...

Кто нить звонил хоть раз в секс по телефону? Если нет,то вот ссылочка sexiphone.ru

9:01 am May, 21 Dicy said...

@J Doucheteau

Geeze only $0.5K a year? I make almost 10x that much, I live a way more luxourious life of merit than you!

9:26 am May, 21 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Stacky,

This quote invalidates everything else you say: “News flash, Im a fucking dirt bag, …” By admitting to that (and props for doing so) you render yourself an irrelevant assclown. Please send in any and/or all of your Wastebook updates to show us how you’re being taken out of context. You won’t because you know it is not possible. Show us all the incredible puss we’re missing. After the site IS Hot Chicks with Stackhouses. Please wow us with your three degrees. Show us pictures of this so called “Lambo”. I’m sure you’ve douched it out beyond all semblance of what it once was. Until then suffer the moral smackdown you deserve.

.

P.S. Don’t fuck with Troy. He can run circles around you even while he’s in a coma.

12:01 pm May, 21 curbyourendouchiasm said...

I take back everything I said about wanting more Stackhouse. I think he definitely deserves a shot at some 2010 Douchies, but I don’t want to see him anymore until the yearly.

This waste of air, food, and space has really brought out the worst in a lot of us (especially me–I’m ashamed to say). We have moved out of mocking into petty and unfunny exchanges with Anonymous who may or may not be the actual loser we’re talking about.

My apologies to everyone who warned us that we didn’t want more SH until the yearly–you were right. He doesn’t deserve the attention. The other threads were pretty funny: this one has devloved into something very unfunny–something this fuckwit could have come up with himself.

1:49 pm May, 21 soy bomb said...

Hate to say “I told you so”, but “I told you so”. Curb above said it best when he pointed out that Stack brings out the worst in us. He’s not even a douche really, he’s just a f*cking prick who gets off on all of this attention. It was funny at first, but now it’s just ugly. We’re all worse off because of it.

.

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Whatever, it’s Friday…time to get my booze on and stare at ass pear.

2:08 pm May, 21 Anonymous said...

If anyone really wants to know how much Jason M. Beinlich from Florida (aka Stackhouse) makes a year, DOB, known addresses, relatives, phone number and home value, go to http://www.intelius.com, enter his name and state, pay $0.95. Pay $39.95 and get a full background check. It is all legal because its all PUBLIC RECORD.

You’re Welcome

3:08 pm May, 21 Zal Cleminson said...

I just noticed how Jay Leno-esque the Beaner looks in the photo above.

Three degrees in what? Endulge me; I’m curious.

6:52 pm May, 21 Anonymous said...

Wow some fag wants to look me up on a background check. Lol, yall must really wanna suck on my balls hard. I work in the biggest night club in north florida in tallahassee. U can always come see me their. Just ask for stackhouse at the door, and ill let u in for free to come play with my nut sack all night

7:22 pm May, 21 Bag Margera said...

Look Stacky, we’re all clearly in agreement that you’re a bitter, skank-fucking, silver-spooned, waste of air, who wastes his families money on Lambo’s and defence lawyers so you can assimilate into one of the biggest douchebag hotspots in all of bum-fuck tallahassee, and doesn’t think he needs to know how to read and write in order to be a smart. You and every regular on this website is aware that the lifestyle you are living is the only way for a scumbag like you to find naive women. We know that you could never get laid by actually having dignity because your ego doesn’t know the meaning of the word, and clearly you don’t care. Fine.

How though, are you being misrepresented? Where are you being misquoted? Are you mad because you’ve fucked better women than the ones that have been shown in these pictures? Dude! We get it, you fuck anything that you, and your bros can tag team. I’m glad that your willing to let us keep the pictures up, but every time you write something here, you only reaffirm our opinion of you. Be who you are man, be who you are, but don’t deny what you see in the mirror.

7:31 pm May, 21 clam fist said...

I love the Stack.

8:16 pm May, 21 Douche-in said...

Stank, if you want to show me your balls, I’ll happily cut them off and play with them.

Then I’ll feed them to you.

C’mon over here…

8:17 pm May, 21 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

Of course! The biggest club in Tallahassee! Wow! That’s the big time! The clubs in Miami and New York have nothing on this joint! It’s almost as big as Seaside Heights! Almost.

Of course you just do it to slip the naive hotts the Gamer HomeBoy, because all the decent chicks have already sussed you out, and keep their drinks well away from you.

But what do you expect from someone who gets his self-worth from a COMPLETELY FICTIONAL price tag on your facebook page. You may have 3 degrees, a lambo, and a trust fund, but you’re still worth nothing.

Keep it up with the poetry though, it’s still worth a laugh now and then. Completely unintentional, but a laugh nonetheless.

5:36 am May, 23 EvilDevilCuckoo said...

Since when to Public Defenders PROSECUTE cases? And Third Graduation? Elementary, High School and now allegedly college. B/c he damn sure isn’t going to convince anyone he’s gone postgrad

1:09 pm May, 23 Medusa Oblongata said...

Yes. I concur. And I would like to be the recipient of an attempted Stack-roll. I would cleanse the earth of his sack of shit and receive my heavenly reward. Or the thanks of a grateful bunch of ‘baghunters.

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