Friday, May 28, 2010

Tammy and Bob are Killin' Time, Waitin' For Ass Pear

Yup. One of those lazy-ass Fridays for your humble narrator, who’s running out of quality HCwDB pics and desperately scrambling to make posts out of increasingly thin material.

I knew I picked the wrong week to give up sniffing scratch-and-sniff stickers.

# posted by douchebag1
11:15 am May, 28 doucheywallnuts said...

Wow a red cup and a ed plastic monster promotional coffee cup in the same photo. Oh, and a monster douchebag wanna-be and Z-list bleeth.

11:21 am May, 28 tall guy said...

My mornings predilection for bottle blonds thanks you, HCwDB.

Also, if images from an iPhone (from which the quality is admittedly poor) are acceptable submissions, I will gladly send a few in of our local version of the douche: the bogan.

11:22 am May, 28 Bagnonymous said...

Bob’s killin’ my boner for Tammy, that’s what he’s doing.

11:24 am May, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fuck them. I need some of Dark Sock’s drugs.

11:25 am May, 28 The Know said...

I have a rafting weekend to get to but cant leave without ass pear. I wait patiently and ponder my life.

11:29 am May, 28 Bagnonymous said...

I will heretofore spend the remaining time until Ass Pear staring at Tammy’s bikini line, wondering exactly where her abdomen ends and her hips begin…

11:30 am May, 28 jcdouchey said...

That’s a strange looking bitch. Whew.

11:34 am May, 28 Crucial Head said...

“… running out of quality HCwDB pics and desperately scrambling to make posts out of increasingly thin material.”

.

.

Check your inbox, Boss.

11:34 am May, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Ubiquitous Red Plastic Mug? Buffalo Beast shrugged off the amateurish attempt at one upsmanshipped, slouched further down in the pool chair and continued rythmically working the length of his turgid purple thighmaster.

11:35 am May, 28 Crucial Head said...

Whoa, whoa, whoa…

.

.

Good God man, not THAT inbox, Jay. Your email, dude. Pull you pants back up.

11:41 am May, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

<Seconds later Chet and Melissa collapsed to the ground, legs twitching, sphincters releasing, the potted palms buried deep in the back of their crushed skulls making moist patte out of their little used brains.

.

Samurai Scrote wiped the bits of potting soil and bone from his hands, took the keys to his 1982 Pontiac Firebird from the valet, tipped him with the dried scrotum of two feral marmasets, and roared off down I-80, never to be seen in Mesquite, Nevada again.

11:42 am May, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Melissa keeps her butt in her cankles.

11:43 am May, 28 Deltus said...

This guy is a lazy douche. Don’t know why, precisely, but he is.

11:43 am May, 28 Bigphatnotadouche said...

DB1 – I’m always patiently waiting for ASS Pear. I do keep tripping on my pants which are around my ankles on Fridays.

So the sooner, the Ass Pear, the sooner, the twapping begins.

11:45 am May, 28 Jacques Doucheteau said...

“Increasingly thin material,” eh? That she is.

11:47 am May, 28 DarkSock said...

Well, Boss…I have a special picture I’ve been saving of a Hot Chick, some Jersey Guidos, and Medusa and White’s Laundry Gimp that I’ll go ahead and send.

.

But beware. You can’t…unsee it….

11:55 am May, 28 creature said...

it’s all good Boss, he’s a douche & she has drooping underboob & no hips… they deserve each other

11:58 am May, 28 mr.reeve said...

Well, Dufusbag here really douches it up with his Tagging style tattoo and white shades. Anyone who wears whote sunglasses should be round house kicked to the face ala Billy Jack in Born Losers.

11:58 am May, 28 DarkSock said...

She has an hourglass figure. And by hourglass I mean “beaker”.

.

No offense, Doctor Bunsen.

.

I’d hit it.

12:15 pm May, 28 Wheezer said...

One solution, Boss: just post the “Friday Thoughts and Links” post early and get started getting hammered on the ‘Train.

.

Oh, and don’t forget to add something about Gary Coleman….. : (

12:28 pm May, 28 Dicy said...

If the DB1 is running out of material then we should celebrate! The war on douche is working… Slowly but surely 🙂

Anyways, even I’m getting impatient for the pear… I need it to get through this ride to Tennessee.

12:34 pm May, 28 a non anon said...

She’s really high waisted.

Probably high and wasted, too.

Have a nice long weekend, fellow mockers!

12:36 pm May, 28 Bag Margera said...

Running out of material? What you talkin bout DB1?

12:36 pm May, 28 DarkSock said...

Her torso’s so straight her belts have to have teeth.

12:36 pm May, 28 DarkSock said...

Her torso’s so straight she can only birth amputee babies.

12:37 pm May, 28 DarkSock said...

Her torso’s so straight her dildo’s convex.

12:41 pm May, 28 Vin Douchal said...

I think this is a thinly veiled shout out for me to send more ass pear photos , STAT!

I’ll get right on it, boss

12:44 pm May, 28 Crucial Head said...

Her torso’s so straight her panties have suspenders.

12:49 pm May, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Her torso’s so straight that she can be used as a level.

12:50 pm May, 28 Thorax Hammersmith said...

@Wheezer,

.

Not an original joke on my behalf, but perhaps Gary has found what Willis was talking about on the other side?

.

R.I.P.

12:51 pm May, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Darksock

.

None taken.

.

Her torso’s so straight they use her to paint the lane designations on highways.

12:52 pm May, 28 Wheezer said...

Vin, that’s holy work you’re doing. Thank you, good sir.

.

Thorax, it could be. He’s hooking up with “Kimberly” and “Mr. Drummond” as we speak.

12:59 pm May, 28 Wedgie said...

May I suggest that Tammy just go ahead and kill Bob instead of time. What’d time ever do to her, anyway?

Meanwhile, Bob jizzed up his hair, shaved his chest, got a tatt of a squiggly turd and stole Tammy’s sunglasses.

Waste him, sister.

1:02 pm May, 28 Bag Margera said...

Her torso’s so straight that her flat chest looks like it has boobs.

1:04 pm May, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Her torso’s so straight she gave Bob love handles.

1:10 pm May, 28 Ludacris Axehandle McCockkwielder said...

Her torso’s so straight it’s technically a “homophobe.”

1:22 pm May, 28 Vin Douchal said...

Her torso’s so straight it could be a tube of Fresh Balls

1:25 pm May, 28 DarkSock said...

Her torso’s so straight she only has hips when she’s constipated.

1:26 pm May, 28 DarkSock said...

Her torso’s so straight she can only sunbathe on flat ground.

1:26 pm May, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Wheezer,

Coleman, with his perfect comic timing, walked between St. Peter’s legs and through the pearly gates, stepped up to God, stuck out his chubby brown chin and declared, “Whachu talkin ’bout, Jesus?”. At which point, with tears rolling down his cheeks, God put his arms around the diminuitive child actor, popped a bowl of corn, threw Churchball in the dvd player, then excused himself and made a quick phone call to Satan to see if Dana Plato could come up for a threeway.

1:27 pm May, 28 DarkSock said...

Her torso’s so straight she borrows jeans from members of The Arctic Monkeys.

1:27 pm May, 28 DarkSock said...

Her torso’s so straight she can infiltrate submarines.

1:28 pm May, 28 DarkSock said...

Her torso’s so straight her poop has hips.

.

what?

1:28 pm May, 28 DarkSock said...

Her torso’s so straight her last name is Bic.

1:28 pm May, 28 DarkSock said...

Her torso’s so straight her farts are cylindrical.

1:37 pm May, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Her torso’s so straight her poop fits perfectly in a Pringles can.

1:37 pm May, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Her torso’s so straight weiner dogs are jealous.

1:39 pm May, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Her torso’s so straight Kate Moss uses her for a dildo.

8:25 pm May, 28 Stephanie said...

her torso is so straight I can clean out my dryer lint

9:30 pm May, 28 Wedgie said...

^Huh?

1:29 pm May, 29 Tony Ventresca said...

With those notta-hips I bet she looks like a boy from behind.

5:41 pm May, 29 Reverend Ramahdan Hatch said...

These douches are supposedly going swimming… judging by their attire?

Glad the hair and make-up was paid such attention to.

It’s not about swimming, I know… it’s about being seen about to swim and looking perfectly coiffed. I’d sure hate to have messed up, un-gelled, non-perfectly combed, and… the fucking worst!… wet hair at a swimming pool while wearing swimwear. That would suck.

In other words… a perfect pic of a couple o’ good old-fashioned, authentic, frontier douchebags.

ps. loved the Adam Carolla podcast!!!!!

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