Monday, May 3, 2010

The Double Gargle

It’s a rare moment of alchemy on the site when the hottie/douchey dialectics actually reach a state of pure douche equilibrium.

With Ennis and Kelly, we find just such a state of double stage-4 taint gargle.

Unredeemable. No hope.

Pure, uncut, self contained poo.

# posted by douchebag1
12:43 pm May, 3 DarkSock said...

So they’re using the same molds for Barbie and Ken dolls now?

.

The Replacements nailed it two decades ago with “Androgynous”.

12:47 pm May, 3 boatbutter said...

It’s a if the douche version of Janus has been cleaved in half and unfolded.

12:48 pm May, 3 DarkSock said...

I see the Hot Chicks; where’s the Douche?

.

That little Joyce DeWitt hottie on the right got it goin’ ON….oooooh yeah……..

12:56 pm May, 3 E-blo's Last Thought said...

I made this comment one time about a Smoot conquest. For most women, the hands are a great signifier of age…

Kelly – your hands say that you probably have a couple of kids in college .

.

Stop raiding their closet – the clothes look ridiculous on them; they look worse on you.

12:59 pm May, 3 Dex said...

I think that’s a mother-son couple. This may be a photograph from an early production of the lesser-known tragedy “Oedipus the ‘Bag”, written during Sophocles’ visit to Seaside Heights, NJ.

1:03 pm May, 3 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Her gesture – The number of grand kids she’s got.

.

His gesture – The quality of sex he’s having with her grand kids.

1:04 pm May, 3 bigphatnotadouche said...

The weekly is covered for next Monday.

I’m sure both double gargles swallow.

1:12 pm May, 3 scrotum pole said...

Buffalo Beast receives covert instructions from the head waitress, as to exactly when all the exits will be blocked.

He will then discreetly start the fire, and quietly leave.

1:12 pm May, 3 Chad Kroeger said...

Kelli Ripa and her lap dog douche husband need a Cocck Punch more badly than I thought.

1:25 pm May, 3 ehcuodouche said...

The thing I find interesting is that the outfit looks so ridiculous on that guy. Everything is so oversized he looks like a midget, and the haircut makes him look like a mongoloid midget. How can you look cool if seeing you makes me want to laugh?

1:30 pm May, 3 Wedgie said...

Nice windshields. Do they come with wipers?

1:31 pm May, 3 John McenDouche said...

Sweet, fancy, Moses.

Surely those sunglasses double as arc-welding googles.

1:34 pm May, 3 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I’m betting if you removed the glasses they’d have protruding eyebilliards that would put Marty Feldman to shame.

1:40 pm May, 3 Paul Muad'douche, the Kwisatz Scroterach said...

Why has God, with all of his many and varied bolts of lightning, not fried these two to ashen lumps by now if He is so just?

1:47 pm May, 3 doucheywallnuts said...

Is his hair made of vinyl or black tar?

1:50 pm May, 3 mr.reeve said...

When did Bono get so ripped up?

1:53 pm May, 3 Bored said...

I think HCwDB has jumped the shark.

2:06 pm May, 3 lupus john wilcox said...

i can almost smell the vicoden on her breath; but despite that, i think this was a costume party. you can tell because the people behind them are dressed the same way, and no one really wears jewelry bought at ceasar’s palace–do they?

2:10 pm May, 3 Douche Springsteen said...

Oh sweet baby Jebus. Let’s hope that either he shoots blanks or that her womb is a rocky place where his seed can find no purchase.

2:15 pm May, 3 Chad Kroeger said...

Mighty and Merciful Thor please smote them with your hammer.

2:22 pm May, 3 Claude Douchenburg said...

with a little posing looks like the couple in back could have made the webpage too.

2:28 pm May, 3 Army of DOuche-ness said...

funny cuz while on a slightly less level, stage 3 perhaps, the couple in the back are on par with each other as well.

I wonder if this was a convention*?

* you know if DB1 has his wasy and we eliminate the Grieco virus, you’ll see less HCwDB in mainstream culture but they will have conventions

2:28 pm May, 3 Chad Kroeger said...

Kelly is so loose he forearms her ass.

2:39 pm May, 3 Douche Scroets Scrociety said...

Greasy poo hair and giant pair of sunnies

The fail in this douche is really not funny

With a giant wrist watch and a skanky ass ho

Douche equilibrium has hit an all time low

2:42 pm May, 3 Turdacious said...

Instead of the Moe howard bowl haircut, he went the the Sargent Shultz geman helmet haircut.

And i would let her polish my german helmet

2:45 pm May, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I just knew they were mutants.

3:30 pm May, 3 Deltus said...

The poo smell from them must be a lot more than simply twice the poo smell from either of them. That particular combination isn’t just an addition, there’s some multiplication going on up in there. And the product is pure taintstink.

3:43 pm May, 3 Erik said...

Next time bra, keep your hand INSIDE the tanning bead.

3:43 pm May, 3 Fat, Drunk, and Douchey said...

Quick! Kill them before they multiply! Do it. Do it Now!

3:44 pm May, 3 Erik said...

*Bed

4:02 pm May, 3 Mr. Bagoo said...

The blond is a “shim,” the brunette thing is unquestioningly a douche variant of some sort, but is it such pure poo that it looks odd to us?

I am not sure what it is, male, female, sheit, shim, herman?

It scares me.

6:18 pm May, 3 Steve L. said...

i would not be surprised if those glasses allow them to emit beams of douchey energy.

6:29 pm May, 3 Whoop-di-douche said...

Not just any poo…pinko commie poo.

6:45 pm May, 3 Whoop-di-douche said...

Acme and Zenith

Standing in a bar,

Douche and Bleeth

is what they are.

He’s signalling cockk,

She’s symboling boobs,

And under his shirt

He’s got the moobs.

10:49 pm May, 3 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ EBLT 12:56

In regards to your theory, if you go by the look of a woman’s hands, I should be about a hundred and twelve. Chicken feet are more supple and tender than my bony claws. However, you are correct in noting that this one is way past the age where this stuff even makes sense. It’s retarded when 22 year olds do it, it’s insane when near 40-somethings do it.

.

I was having this same discussion with my sister, the Immortal Noomsie Oblongata, about what you gotta give up and when. I’m the same size I was when I graduated highschool. However, I’m 4 years away from 40. I reasoned, that even if you’re the right size to pull it off, you gotta let go and some point. I no longer wear miniskirts. Half-shirts? Forget it. By and large, I still shop in the junior’s section as most of the “ma’am” clothes are simply too big for me, and I’m not quite that staid yet. However, I gotta pass on the ultra-trendy stuff, and I have women like this to thank for pointing that out to me. I have every 39 year old mom in the world coming into my work with their teenage daughters for belly button piercings. I can barely stifle my laughter at these broads who look like caricatures of Pamela Anderson, with neither the budget not the fashion sense to pull it off.

.

There’s nothing to say that older women aren’t sexy, au contraire. They sure are, but only when they’re working that worldly MILF thing instead of looking like some desperate bar hag, being dragged into her 40’s kicking and screaming. There are plenty of women who I would douse in sweet dairy cream and lick all night long. Diane Lane comes to mind. And Noomsie O. and I were floored by Sophia Loren’s shots for the Pirelli calendar in 2007–at the ripe old age of 73. I can’t speak for anyone but myself, but I’d clobber that 73-year old with my tongue for days before I’d shake hands with this skank in the pic. Just sayin’. There’s a match made in hell, right there.

2:25 am May, 4 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

I’d like to shit in her hat.

5:22 am May, 4 DarkSock said...

I’d like to pee in her Vicodin.

5:25 am May, 4 DarkSock said...

I’d like to belch on her hymen.

5:26 am May, 4 DarkSock said...

I’d like to fart on her hair.

5:53 am May, 4 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

The couple on the left bow their heads in shame in an effort to avoid the mock.

10:37 am May, 4 Anonymous said...

Apparently Erik estrada’s #1 fan from CHiPs finally got to hook up with him

6:28 am May, 5 curbyourendouchiasm said...

Those aren’t sunglasses those are tinted windshields on their faces.

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