Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The Phrat Boys

Jenna is the “crazy one” at the Kappa Kappa Woo sorority.

Always wearing funky vintage dresses to formals. And sneaking in bottles of Absynthe past the R.A. after “lights out.”

But partying with the winners of “Arizona U. Karaoke Night” two years running, “The Phrat Boys” (aka Chip and Chet, pre-med Juniors), deeply concerns her best friend Kelsey.

Because Kelly’s hooked up with Chip and Chet. And she knows what’s up. And what’s up is Valtrex.

# posted by douchebag1
9:15 am May, 19 Winston Uretermons said...

Goodness gracious morning to webmasters of Hot Chips in Handbags.

Many thank you alls for glorious and precious posting for here and forevermost is very much hideously and strangely lugubriously odious handbags with next to coupled beautiful chips. Hot chips can maybe always sometimes be so sweet and tender and sourly deliciousness my intimate privacy areas feel slightly much more in some ways good now, hahah. Very very somewhat aspiring indeed you know?

Superior upper tier and avante garde works with heavenly thoughts my friend. I look forward to much many and more importantly good posts in the future forever and ever as well okay!?

Sincerest regards with respect always,

Winston Uretermons

9:15 am May, 19 DarkSock said...

“YO CHELSEA!!! LOOKIT MEEE! I’M COCKK SURFING!!! WO0T!”

9:20 am May, 19 End the Haberdouchery said...

My Mandarin is a little rusty, but I think that reads “Forever destined to manual labor”

9:21 am May, 19 Turgid BeefHammer said...

The South Carolina Game Cockks.

.

Uhhhh, huh, huh, huh… huh huh huh… huh huh huh.

9:25 am May, 19 Et Tu Douche? said...

That guys looks an awful lot like “groin shave reveal Greg” with the same hat tilt only a different color

http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2010/05/who-cares-about-groin-reveal-greg/

9:26 am May, 19 scrotum pole said...

The two douches are hopefully looking up at the one- hundred-twenty-five year old oak tree which is about to fall upon them.

Meanwhile, South Carolina grad, Buffalo Beast will leave without a word after he finishes up his chocolate cone.

9:47 am May, 19 bigphatnotadouche said...

God bless Southern sorority poon. She’s trying to be edgy while getting pressed by the Natty light twins.

It won’t be be pretty in the morning for her when she does the walk of shame back to waiting sisters.

9:50 am May, 19 Vin Douchal said...

Celebrating their “C” in Arts for Athletes , Rigo, Cassie and Flaco show their anal bead braclet project….

Rigo and Flaco realize they’ve accidentally returned theirs to their sphincter prior to the photo

9:52 am May, 19 massengill said...

That’s definitely GSR Greg.

.

That girl could try to cultivate some breast meat.

9:56 am May, 19 Vin Douchal said...

With tennis season upon us, the French Open starts in a few days.

This can only mean we need to oggle Pop Cunch.com’s number 11-20 hottest tennis players featuring yummy Martina Hingis

9:58 am May, 19 Whoop-di-douche said...

Behold, the future of American medicine in pre-meds Chip and Chet.

9:58 am May, 19 Vin Douchal said...

Martina Ass Pear

9:59 am May, 19 mr.reeve said...

Agreed on Greg “I Love Me Some Me” SGR douche. The chick is lame and I see no hot. Greg has down graded for sure here and mixing in a 2 on 1 with Phrat buddy “Ch” is douche, douche and more douche. Fuck off Greg you sleeved bell head loving knob.

10:11 am May, 19 the douche is alright said...

damnit greg! what happened to kimberly?

10:22 am May, 19 Troy Tempest said...

The chinese characters douche adroit has engraved into his side say:

No Ticket, No Shirt, Deposit Required.

10:43 am May, 19 Thedouchetranslator said...

If you want to know, left scrote’s tatoo is Japanese and means “eye for an eye”. A shitty tat indeed.

Yes I’m a pretentious douche myself.

10:51 am May, 19 E-blo's Last Thought said...

@ Translator – He’s blind??? And nobody told him about the retarded sunglasses?

.

.

This is a cruel, cruel world.

.

.

Jenna is sorority trash. Most likely gives crappy blowjobs and won’t let you screw her. She is the poster child for why some genius invented the weekend use of rohypnol.

11:18 am May, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

These pus queefs aren’t even worthy of a good solid mocking, so I’m not even going to bother.

.

Glad I stopped by though, if only for Vin’s Martina ass pear.

11:25 am May, 19 Jacques Doucheteau said...

You guys should check out the hottest female shot putters short list.

11:34 am May, 19 Crucial Head said...

@Jacques 11:25pm

.

I did it. I knew I shouldn’t. But I did it anyway. Gotdamn trigger finger. I clicked the link.

.

But I was pleasantly suprised to see that it was none other than Wheat Stalks.

.

Good tag, fellow ‘Baghunter.

12:56 pm May, 19 DarkSock said...

Nope, Crucial; that’s East German shot putter Helga BurgerMeister, knocking her Bulgarian rival Rotunda BunSagger of off the Olympic medal podium.

12:58 pm May, 19 DarkSock said...

Literally.

.

Nailed the bitch in her big ol’ canned ham of a head. She fell back into a floral display and involuntarily defecated; sort of a projectile donkey punch if you will.

.

True Story; look it up on Wikipedia. Give me a 5 minute head start first though.

3:56 pm May, 19 dbBen said...

(Slow Clap)

I give the post summary a 10. Friggin’ nailed it.

6:44 pm May, 19 brownbaggins said...

Yes, indubitably GSR Greg.

8:37 pm May, 19 Tellin theTruth said...

Yeahh KIMBERLY and GSR Greg broke up, he really is a douchebag!! Just for the record, Kimberly’s tatas are real!! And I speak Japanese and that tat means nothing!

9:11 pm May, 19 amazed by the douchiness said...

I second what “Tellin the Truth” said…. GSR is exactly what you all think……a Guido white trash jersey douchebag. He is a tiny boy with limited intellect and decided to get on the muscle milk diet in hopes that some day people would take him seriously…..unfortunately for this young chap, he has exceeded everyone’s expectations and not only landed himself on this website twice……but this time with another (possibly equally as douchy) frat brahhhh and with what looks like a girl who has daddy issues and whores for attention… Kimberly…..smart move getting rid of this Guido douchebag…..go back to jersey where you belong

9:17 pm May, 19 amazed by the douchiness said...

oh and luckily neither of these degenerates will be wearing white coats in the near future. They will however be picking up the trash i leave in front of my door in the morning

11:29 pm May, 19 Lazy Greatness said...

Pre-med…I hope they stay that way. With any luck I’ll be dead before either one of them becomes a practicing M.D.

On a side note, we often see the 2 to 1 douche-bag to hot-chick ratio, I can’t help but wonder how often the two end up beating the crap out of each other deciding who gets to take her to the public restroom for a sub-par BJ. Oh how the mind wonders…

11:44 pm May, 19 Steve L. said...

these pre-med jokes are like Snooki’s time travel exploits.

i hope that one day Kelly will take my temperature though. in my crotch.

6:46 am May, 20 Deltus said...

Jesus, Jacques, that shotputter pic was about 12 different kinds of ugly.

I love it when people who actually know the douches and hotts in the pictures speak up. BTW, we knew GSR Greg is a douche. But tell us more about Kimberly’s boobage… talk slow and sexy like…

8:04 am May, 20 mr.reeve said...

I need more Kimberly indeed. Where’s the evidence of real boobage?

9:00 am May, 20 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

They turdsuckers are your typical eighth-year junior pre-med majors. They come in to every class 15 minutes late and leave 20 minutes early. When they are there, they think no one notices them updating their Wastebook page and Tweeting that class is so boring and so fuccen gay. They sit away from everybody else because they think they’re so fuccen cool but never seem to notice the people that get up to move even farther away because they smell like stale beer, SEVER body funk, and rotten cheese.Their only contributions to class are witty things like “Is this gonna be on the test?” and “How do you know its an acid”? during the review for the final exam. They don’t give a shit if they are there for 18 years because mommy and daddy are paying for them to be there. Hell, mommy and daddy are paying their rent and every other expense too. Then, when they fail the class for the fourth time, they either beg for a passing grade (or even try outright bribery) or threaten to “take it to the Dean”. I’ve told them that I’ll hold their hand walk them over to his office and stay to make sure they find their way back. That usually shuts them up. Unless one of their parents is a lawyer. Them it become much more interesting. When you tell them that the burden of proof is on them, they usually back down. So if you happen to be an alumnus, party with them at tailgates and tell them that you’ll see them next year and the year after that. Thank them for their continuing contribution of tuition in these tough economic times.

Wow. I didn’t intend for that to be a rant but I guess it was. Sorry ’bout that. All is well. Return to your normal daily activities.

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