Monday, May 3, 2010

The Portrait of Dorian's Gay

While I consider this image one of my lesser works of HCwDB artistic reclamation of the image in the age of the simulacrum, part of my “Post Lysol” period (and not likely to be submitted as part of my Guggenheim show in 2023), I do believe it deserved a name.

# posted by douchebag1
3:02 pm May, 3 douch bagelow said...

poo goes IN the toilet

3:31 pm May, 3 Deltus said...

I’d skeet on her stomach. Other than that, complete wastes of skin.

3:37 pm May, 3 Chad Kroeger said...

“Fuzzy Mulatto Turd Surprise Avec Doucebag” by Ansshole Adams’ in his toilet and wife beater period. The f-stop was set at fucck off.

3:46 pm May, 3 Skunch said...

I give her points for giving him the birdie though.

3:50 pm May, 3 Vin Douchal said...

Once, about 8 years ago, my office was located above a charter (re: 3rd chance ) high school. Most of the kids were methed out or just stoopid and needed to fill workbooks out to get a diploma. It was better than letting them spend all day disprupting kids that are at school to learn.

So on this particular school day , I unlocked the private men’s room door and discovered a couple getting it on with the dude laying on his back on the filthy floor and some little gal bouncing up and down. She jumped up with a >>POP! << , ran into the stall covering her arse with her snatched up clothes and slammed the door.

The kid looked at me like his dog got hit by the car his parents were driving as it went over a 500 foot cliff with all his video games and shit in it. Stunned. Dazed.

I casually looked at him and said, “Nice, very nice .. You’ve got 5 minutes to wrap this up then I’m coming back to take a dump”.

4:01 pm May, 3 mr.reeve said...

Andy Sanberg finally cut his hair, got some ink and grew some bad facial hair. What’s the world coming to now! Little dark haired hot needs TTTTT (Tommy The Trouser Trout Therapy) ASAP!!

4:47 pm May, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Him: “Machine steals my soul. Make it go away.”

Her: “Shut up Rodtard! I look dayum good and I want this picture to prove it. No fuck off and go play with your trains or something.”

4:48 pm May, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ Long day and brain cells fleeing. Sub NOW for no.

6:00 pm May, 3 Douchie Howser M.D. said...

I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.

Furthermore, above all else I dislike in the world are numbnuts like this guy.

(That would be Wilde’s sentiment, I’m supposing.)

6:00 pm May, 3 Steve L. said...

pic needs more Lysol.

6:06 pm May, 3 Wedgie said...

“Iran reveals the size of its nuclear stockpile”.

6:07 pm May, 3 Wedgie said...

UVA Lacrosse Players……what, too soon?

6:11 pm May, 3 Ponderonymous said...

Oh, Vin Douchal, your autobiography would be such a classy tome. I’d be first in line for that book signing.

-Ponderonymous

6:27 pm May, 3 Whoop-di-douche said...

“Watch the birdie…my finger birdie, that is…” Click!

8:12 pm May, 3 DarkSock said...

@ Vin: I’ll be damned…you actually got to SEE Bristol Palin’s bare ass? Schweet!

8:14 pm May, 3 Crucial Head said...

This is for Massengill.

.

Guess it’s the mustache. Some of you old punks may like this as well.

8:15 pm May, 3 Crucial Head said...

This is for Massengill. Guess it’s the mustache. Some of you old punks may like this as well.

8:15 pm May, 3 Crucial Head said...

This is for Massengill. Guess it’s the mustache.

.

Some of you old punks may like this as well.

10:30 pm May, 3 Medusa Oblongata said...

Allright, Croosh, we like it already. 😉

Moustaches like that make me fuccen horny. Actually any kind of moustache that’s bigger than the standard molestache makes me fuccen horny. And that’s not “Mole-stache”, that’s “Molest-stache”, for those of you not familiar. I can barely get through Tombstone without getting a fuccen slickie. They don’t call them things “Handlebars” fer nuthin’….

.

A while back, I had these two big dogs and then this little asshole dog who ate the one female dog’s shit all the time. One time she left a hefty, steamy loaf in the snow and Kitsune ate it. Ten minutes later, he puked it up. The other big dog came along and ate it, then promptly puked it up himself. I almost puked myself after witnessing this scene, which will be forever burned into my mind. This pic takes me right back there, yessir.

12:28 am May, 4 Fuck Tha Police said...

Ha ha! It’s young Baron Von Goolo before he copped the hard-core look.

What a douche!!!!

2:00 am May, 4 Douche Scroets Scrociety said...

In a mirror self portrait, times it by two

Guidette and scroteface equals double the poo

You do the math, it’s plain to see

That he-bag plus who-bag equals fresh STD

2:14 am May, 4 tall guy said...

He could well be related to Eddie Douchmonster with the spray on hair.

5:11 am May, 4 scrotum pole said...

Medusa always wondered why her dogs gave her that “shit-eating grin” when she came home from work.

5:58 am May, 4 E-blo's Last Thought said...

“Pride is the recognition of the fact that you are your own highest value and, like all of man’s values, it has to be earned”

.

.

.

I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t understand that. Actually, I’m pretty sure they can’t read, so…..never mind.

7:39 am May, 4 I R A Darth Aggie said...

She needs less clothing.

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