Thursday, May 6, 2010
The Preppybag
Not since the mid 80s has the “sweater over the shoulders” thing been acceptable, Chazz. You’re not a major douche. But Preppybags must be mocked.
Pouty lipped Mila Kunis may have lost a bet at her sorority house, but that still doesn’t excuse your look.
No, not even in the rec room at Sigma Theta Delta (STD).
Ubiquitous Red Cup weeps for a future filled with trips to CostCo, extreme weight gain and a vague resignation to life’s limitations amidst banal and polite conversations with other parents at little league games.
Willard was adept at using his hand to palm Ursula’s gunt anytime a picture was snapped in their vicinity.
“Honey, I think I found the leak in your colostomy bag.”
The President of the Orange County Young Republican’s Club was ecstatic to find another recruit for his looming Tea Party Rally.
I’d hit it.
Stay thirsty, my friends.
Yeah I’d hit it too. I think it’s the sweater and glasses combo that puts me over the top.
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What?
She would be ok if she didn’t look like she had just gotten a BCS.
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I think I just FINALLY figured out what bcs’s screen name meant. Duh.
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Wherefore art thou, bcs?
Oh Crucial, in your response yesterday you forgot to mention that you were Teddy Tendergass, too.
I think what I like about her the most is the contrast between her left leg and her right inner-thigh.
STD would be Sigma Tau Delta.
/pedantry
Thad’s lucky Elephant Cocck Ring that he wears on his wrist never failed to land him a grundle tickle with the tipsy rec room woo girls
You ethnically insensitive dolts are obviously unaware that Preppy Bag and Mila KissyFace are celebrating Seis de Mayo, a fraternity holiday that was created by Pabst Blue Ribbon to sell more beer and to capitalize on Cinco de Mayo, the phony holiday created by Corona to sell more beer.
The contrasting stripes sweaters are part of the official Seis de Mayo flag created by the good people at PBR.
Finally, douchebag archeologists and sociologists have long pointed to fraternities as the cradle of the popped collar, sweater around the shoulder and – most importantly – the red cup.
I apologize Massengill.
I apologize, Massengill.
I am sorry Massengill.
Ha, you found a way to beat WordPress.
WAY TO GO TEDDY!
Ha you found a way to beat WordPress.
WAY TO GO TEDDY!
Ha you found a way to beat WordPress.
WAY TO GO TEDDY!
…
The preppybag has an 8-ball in his pocket & hasn’t slept since Tuesday afternoon.
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If you asked Mila, she doesn’t have a habit, she just likes to “party” and Porter seems like a nice enough guy.
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He’s so blown out, he doesn’t even care that her mouth looks like a reverse hairlip.
Holy shit in the Batcave! The Delorean still works. Stick a lightning pole up my ass Huey Lewis. Marty McFly is still a shaky douchbag. KAAAAa-POWOWWWWWWWWWWW
a future filled with trips to CostCo, extreme weight gain and a vague resignation to life’s limitations amidst banal and polite conversations with other parents at little league games.
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Ouch.
we can’t stop here. It’s douche country
Is Mila’s stare that of a confident, “I know I’m hot” or the vacant stare of someone who wonders, “why is he pointing his cell phone at me?”
His bland clothing only underlines his resemblance to cult leader and whackjob; David Koresh. Creepy.
her pastel sweater says preppy, but her face screams SKANK!
Biff-bag sings “I wear my sun glasses at night” while playing beer pong with his broz in Isla Vista.
Short white shorts are always a yes for dark haired skanks. Good picture.
sure her tits are small, but she can kegel a Louisville Slugger
Mila made extra cash on weekends at Venice Beach by kegeling Lousville Sluggers into Disney character shapes for delighted crowds of tourists
Striped sweater and khakis, fine preppy threads
The George Michael stubble helps him give better head
He loves the big dick, does our wee preppybag
Making kissy lips douchess a wanton fag hag
His blue on white, her white on blue,
Striped like sailors Francoises deux.
“Mericanos take the cake
When dressing douche and making fake.
Preppybag probably lied about the usefulness of his eventual MBA degree. because he does not have a distant relative high up on some corporate ladder.
This is no prep. The too thick leather belt, pleated front dark khaki’s, decidedly unprep. Douche? Yes. Plenty of that.