Saturday, May 22, 2010

The Shark

On this lazy Saturday afternoon, let us consider the plight of The Shark ‘Bag.

He hits on slutty hott Renee, and her two less slutty sorority sisters Karen and Abby, by donning the rocker choad clothes and tatts.

But it’s not the sheeny hawk that displays the true grout of a rank pustule. It’s the ‘tude. The “I’mma grab boobies in under five” ‘tude.

Renee’s plump and ripe fruits do not deserve to be plucked by such a termite. Instead, I bounce collector’s coins off of them as a test of their resiliency. And then I repose in her shower stall, reading Whitman and smoking a menthol.

# posted by douchebag1
11:18 am May, 22 douchesquire said...

Slutty hot Renee looks like a goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood time.

11:29 am May, 22 Douchie Howser M.D. said...

Renee notes that his tag reads “If Found, Return to the Springfield Institute for the Mentally Defective.”

11:35 am May, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

If he didn’t have Pumpy’s dehydrated cocck in his mouth, lost the belt. the tude and tribal tatt I would give him nottadouche by way of aged punk rocker exemption. He is a poser douche because he is edgy and the sluts and wholesome seem to like that.

Fuck off shark, If I see you I beat you. And kudos for the five pounds of hair wax and glue you carry on your head you stupid looking twatwad. Skinny Nazi has ruined the Sabbath day again. I must go split wood. And by split wood I mean split would in rage.

11:40 am May, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Oh Renee. What a drag it is getting old.

11:51 am May, 22 Douchie Arnaz said...

Are there other people or things in this picture? She has nice eyes.

12:08 pm May, 22 Jacques Doucheteau said...

We can only hope this scrote bucket decides to get into bullfighting.

12:28 pm May, 22 Crucial Head said...

The Watchmen having long since been relegated to obscurity, The Comedian celebrates the final acute stage of his AIDS virus in style.

12:33 pm May, 22 Crucial Head said...

Melvin’s shoulder acted as a fulcrum as the girls seesawed Renee’s surgically detached penis back and forth in a playful display of sisterly banter.

12:52 pm May, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Jacques

Nice bullfighting link. Instant tracheaotomy. I hate those fuckers in greasy Europe. P.I.G.S. Spain lazy fuckers ruining my impending retirement which keeps getting further away. I must drink something made in North America in huge quantities.

1:08 pm May, 22 Snoop Douchey Douche said...

Can’t mock. Still basking in the radience of those incredible blouse monsters.

1:39 pm May, 22 scrotum pole said...

Re: Jacques Bullfighting link:

…”I do not know the current condition of the matador or bull…”

-I do:

Matador: fucked up

Bull: hamburger

1:42 pm May, 22 Troy Tempest said...

If shark was a shark, he’d be a dogfish.

Renee is cute now, but in 5 years she’ll squirt out a sprog or two and turn into a sofa.

1:46 pm May, 22 Troy Tempest said...

And if some young punk EVER gives me shit about my generation I send them here to see the how infinitely worse these whelps are.

At least back in the 80s, there was no illusion: it was all understood to be a costume and temporary. These dopes think it matters.

1:54 pm May, 22 Wheezer said...

That’s one Shark I hope isn’t going to be jumped…..unless the hotts have razors or weedwhackers to shave that shit off his head.

.

That won’t fix the tribal tatts, though, nor the fine print warning that came with them.

1:56 pm May, 22 Wheezer said...

Oh, and lace boobies. I’d certainly like to see more of the “less slutty” hotts, but Sharkchoad is in the fuccen way. Can’t they yank whatever it is they’re holding around his neck and toss him aside?

2:24 pm May, 22 Douchble Helix said...

Renee’s in a sorority? That would mean college?

Yes, like every stripper I’ve ever drooled over, she’s ‘in college’.

2:56 pm May, 22 doucheywallnuts said...

Chicks like Renee suck in bed because they think that they have a golden one because of the rack. Meanwhile the unassuming one on the right will rim you and punctuate it with anal tongue darts, while stroking you like a Stradivarius.

And I’m obsessed with trying to figure out what this guy does during the day to allow this kind of hair-do, or does he manage – somehow – to hide it.

3:23 pm May, 22 JDSoCal said...

Not Shark, Vanilla Lice.

3:42 pm May, 22 Stephanie said...

I like the Liquid Sky reference.Yeah, punk was not about a mohawk, hairspray ,it was a look when you went out to see a band…now assholes wear it all of the time.

8:29 pm May, 22 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

The very first thing I thought when I saw this assbelch was that I wanted to kill him. It flashed into my brain instantly. That is really unusual for me. In fact, I can’t recall the last time it happened. His continued being-aliveness really troubles me. Be that as it may, I would go through Renee’s garbage hoping to find something of interest. Because that’s about as close as I can get to the lace. And boobies.

9:29 pm May, 22 Elwood Blues said...

Meh, Renee looks high maintenance. Abby has the freak look twinkle in her eyes. I want to split a bottle of tequila with her. I’ll be drinking shots of it from her navel, while rubbing her boobies with lime.

9:35 pm May, 22 Whoop-di-douche said...

It’s rare indeed when a notable mohawk such as Shark’s outright loses the visual competition to an even more notable ” Lace Boobies on Slut.”

Hot damn those tits.

3:39 am May, 23 lucious lupus john does it with a bong said...

the choad hawk?

i second vanilla lice from jdsocal

sure he has the fin of a shark

but he has the choad of a lice

a lice, lice baby

5:49 am May, 23 Douchble Helix said...

And there’s no visual proof that Karen is ‘less slutty’.

8:13 am May, 23 clam fist said...

Boooooobies!!!!!

1:19 pm May, 23 creature said...

they let chicks into clubs with barely concealed tatas… I think that is oustanding!

2:34 pm May, 23 Mr. Biggs said...

Karen on the right, if ever you wonder why guys outside your prep-school upbringing are so disrespectful, look no farther than this picture. After all, if E Coli here is getting some …

5:58 pm May, 23 Douchble Helix said...

Renne is worthy of some official recognition. Any ideas?

Is that a whip in her hand?

The more I see her, well…

7:33 pm May, 23 Steve L. said...

they say that cutting off a shark’s fin and then releasing it back to the sea is a cruel thing to do, because sharks can’t swim without their fins, and they’ll just starve to death in the merciless depths of the icy black oceans that way.

i never understood these bleeding heart weenies. just FUCKING CUT OFF THE SHARK’S FUCKING FIN AND TOSSING IT INTO THE FUCKING SEA. it’s more fun than clubbing seals, yo.

also, i understand that >90% of the world supply of shark fins belong to exactly 3 family-owned corporation in Hong Kong. that’s just creepy.

7:35 pm May, 23 Steve L. said...

corporationS.

yeah bite me, shark douche.

9:57 pm May, 23 Mr. Biggs said...

Oh wait, is Abby the red-head on the right? Sorry my bad. Yeah I’ll take her. Renee looks like she’s hit bleeth point, and Karen in the back looks like her protege. Abby has that sweet charm of intellect and innocence that thinks she’s playing on the wild side. I guess so, if you think riding Space Mountain at Disneyland means you’re an astronaut.

10:03 pm May, 23 Mr. Biggs said...

Elwood! You’re right! Give me Abby, a lime, two shot glasses and a bottle of tequila. I’ll take that twinkle in her eye straight to Mars. Choad here will only take her to pudville.

11:38 pm May, 23 Steve L. said...

@ myself 7:33 PM,

TOSS IT INTO THE FUCKING SEA.

i wish my mistakes are worth money.

11:58 am May, 24 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’ll bet when he walks into a club at least 20 people yell “Step into a Slim Jim!”

7:27 am June, 1 a daddy said...

Thomas the Tank Engine’s overlooking and I can only imagine his scowling face.

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