Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Thompson Twits

Hard times have fallen on 80s one-hit-wonder act, “The Thompson Twits.”

Forced into Groin Shave Reveal club appearances, marking up their bodies with mutant raisins, and having lead singer Gwen pretend she’s Maggie Gyllenhaal before she hit the wall at 28, it’s just all sorts of stress for their agent, Broadway Danny Rose, to find them quality bookings on the nostalgia circuit.

Yup. I’m babbling again. Not making sense. And I apologize for this pic. It’s borderline cruel to inflict such toxic GSR upon you without warning, or at least the offer of mild sedatives in advance of viewing. But this is douchebaggery in 2010. So we must witness.

# posted by douchebag1
1:27 pm May, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Hold me cocck.

1:29 pm May, 27 Deltus said...

*vomits violently*

.

FUCK, Boss! Give a brutha some WARNING before springing such potent GSR, would ya? There’s so much fail going on in this picture, but I can’t look at it because I know, I KNOW, I’ll have to hurl again if I…

.

*more vomit*

.

SHIT! Looked again.

1:38 pm May, 27 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

There’s more man-cleave in this pic than at a MMA convention.

1:38 pm May, 27 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

There’s more man-cleave in this pic than at REHAB in Las Vegas.

1:40 pm May, 27 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

There’s more man-cleave in this pic than BUFFALO BEAST has thorax.

1:41 pm May, 27 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

There’s more man-cleave in this pic than the previous post had spelling errors.

1:41 pm May, 27 Crucial Head said...

The DongSuck Twins.

1:42 pm May, 27 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

There’s more man-cleave in this pic than plinky’s mom has folds.

1:43 pm May, 27 Crucial Head said...

I see the lead singer’s anal warts have gone viral and spread clear up to his eyes.

1:46 pm May, 27 Crucial Head said...

There’s more man-cleave in this pic than there is in a John Goodman / Chris Farley / John Belushi pickup game of nude Twister.

.

.

In Heaven, of course.

1:47 pm May, 27 Crucial Head said...

Wait… John Goodman’s not dead?

.

.

Fucking nihilist.

1:48 pm May, 27 mr.reeve said...

I have just lost my lunch and shit my pants due to the over the top GSR. I blame Brad Pitt for the whole GSR thing. Click here. Maybe it’s been discussed here already.

I can’t stand Maggie Gyllenhaal at ALL. Fuck this picture all together.

1:49 pm May, 27 Vin Douchal said...

The West Hollywood Chamber Of Commerce American Idol Finale Party held at Cockk Strapp was interrupted last night when two men were beaten to a pulp by the decidedly homosexual crowd that deemed them acting “Too Fuccen Gay”.

1:50 pm May, 27 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

^^^lol

There’s more man-cleave in this pic than Lady Gaga’s newest video.

…wait. Maybe not.

1:51 pm May, 27 tall guy said...

Good Lord those twins are ugly. And aren’t the mutant raisins really a rare and exotic type of flesh eating nasty? She’s not hot.

1:51 pm May, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Hopefully , those black spots are horse sharticles from a failed attempt to pee in a horse’s butt gone awry complete with a major cocck kick

1:57 pm May, 27 Bag Margera said...

Left twit is developing a new strain of douche virus. I’m not even joking or exaggerating. That dude has a toxic plague all over his body. How is that any less realistic than someone thinking he’d be cool, by drawing or tattooing little dots all over him.

Right Twit’s gay 80’s hair is so old, it died and keeled over.

1:57 pm May, 27 DarkSock said...

Marvin gloated as the unscathed winner of the pellet rifle duel for the right to mate with Shelia McFlatness as his perforated rival sulked in the tight hot fist of pellet puncture pain.

1:57 pm May, 27 DarkSock said...

MOLE

2:06 pm May, 27 massengill said...

Nuke those fridges

2:07 pm May, 27 Wedgie said...

Not raisins, targets.

On sight.

2:10 pm May, 27 Bag A said...

Gyaaaaaaaaaa!!! WTF? What planet are these, uhhh, ‘men’, from?

2:12 pm May, 27 Bag A said...

Oh, and I’d like to recreate the ‘desk scene’ from the movie “Secretary” with young Ms. Gyllenhall….

Yes, I would…..

2:29 pm May, 27 DarkSock said...

Jeff learned a hard lesson about taunting homophobes holding Tommy Guns.

2:30 pm May, 27 DarkSock said...

If you ask all three of them what their favorite thing to eat is they’d answer “Oh, a Cockatoo”

2:34 pm May, 27 Turdacious said...

I wish those were shot gun pellets and someones reloading double aught buck, 3.5 mag shell

2:44 pm May, 27 dbBen said...

Know the ABC’s of Skin Cancer:

A – Asymetrical in shape

B – Border. Look for irregularities in the border.

C – Color variations

D – Diameter. Most melanoma’s are the size of a pencil eraser or larger

E – Evolving, if the mole has had changes over time, size, color, elevation, etc.

F – Frickin’ ridiculous. If the mole is artificial and makes you look stupid, it might be a sign of the Greico virus.

Consult your doctor about any moles that meet any of the above criteria. The life you save may be your own.

2:51 pm May, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Those spots commemorate his most favorite man cannon shots. “Leths see, this one was from Richard THSimmons. That cheeky little monkey has bad aim. And OOOOOOHHHH, this oneth from Elton John. I was dressed up like cupid and he was “the arrow”. I think thatth’s one my favorith. I could go on and on and on and on.” Dude on the right is pissed because no one famous has squirted on him and he has bad aim. It seems they all end up in his hair.

2:54 pm May, 27 Turdacious said...

Flock of Seagull shit

2:56 pm May, 27 Turdacious said...

Hey Doc

How would you pronounce feces the gay way

Feethees?

3:02 pm May, 27 doucheywallnuts said...

If I may be so bold, I’m staking claim to this being a new kind of Groin Shave Reveal – this is an EXTREME Groin Shave Reveal and is worthy of a separate classification. Feel free to tag this XGSR or EGSR.

3:19 pm May, 27 clam fist said...

Clean sheets fear this chick.

3:35 pm May, 27 DarkSock said...

Bad news, guys. Corporate America has weighed in on the GSR issue, and they’re on the side of the stooge in the photo.

4:31 pm May, 27 Mr. Biggs said...

Well, I suppose we should thank the photo cropper for omitting just how low this GSR goes. Otherwise we’d have a stand-off between him and Donkey Douche for lowest GSR of the year.

Dare we make this a 2010 Douchies category?

4:32 pm May, 27 Mr. Biggs said...

And ah yes, Maggie Gyllenhall. Such a bouncy reminder that girls like her may have the world handed to them till they’re 28, but after that they’re doomed to be babbling superstitious housewives.

4:49 pm May, 27 Troy Tempest said...

The cruelty of this GDR?

He’s hung like a hamster.

4:49 pm May, 27 Troy Tempest said...

^GSR

oy blaga blaga

4:50 pm May, 27 Douchie Howser M.D. said...

@ dbBen, 2:44 pm, 5/27

Welcome advise is yours, regarding both the deadly melanoma (No joke) and the equally insidious malignant cutaneous scrotoma.

7:25 pm May, 27 ehcuodouche said...

DB1, you are LUCKY I had downed four IPAs prior to seeing that picture. Even then, it took all my years of experience mocking vomitous douches not to blow chunks over my monitor.

7:33 pm May, 27 ehcuodouche said...

I’m in agreement with deltus and doucheywallnuts that such pictures should have a flashing header announcing, WARNING: EXTREME GROIN SHAVE REVEAL! so that your readers are not unduly traumatized.

7:39 pm May, 27 creature said...

measles it’s a hell of an affliction

7:53 pm May, 27 Plowboy said...

I didn’t realize that he had his childhood measles’ scars turned into tattoos…this goes to show that it’s a blurry line between tattoo- and makeup-artist

8:08 pm May, 27 curbyourendouchiasm said...

Is it still GSR (or XGSR–true dat DW) when his dick (it looks like one of the mutant raisins I’m sure), is actually exposed?

His balls might still be in his underwear, but there is no way that little pimple he calls a dick can still be in his shorts–oh unless he tucked it under to make it look like he has a v(m)a(n)gina.

8:22 pm May, 27 Douchelips said...

That IS toxic!

9:47 pm May, 27 Baleen said...

In lieu of FLYTEETH’s comment:

.

TWO FAGGOTHS AIN D A SLAPWHOAR!!

11:27 pm May, 27 Whoop-di-douche said...

That much GSR needs a recycling bin same as the hair salons are using for the oil spill cleanups.

11:30 pm May, 27 Whoop-di-douche said...

Washboard abs need a bass range, hence the GSR. His is particularly adapted to Jug Band playing in the hot, humid summer heat: just grab his generous shock of head hair to wipe yer paws after an intense round of strummin’ with the boyz.

11:31 pm May, 27 Whoop-di-douche said...

My suspicion is this is just an alien cast for a newly developed Star Trek episode

3:18 am May, 28 lucious lupus john says say no to drugs said...

young-ins’,

say no to drugs.

look at this picture.

remember this picture.

and for christ’s sake,

say no to drugs.

11:43 am May, 28 Baron Von Goolo said...

If you press all the dots in the correct sequence, he lays a chocolate egg. WHEE!

8:35 pm May, 28 Stephanie said...

Lord I wish those were my bullet holes…can I get in trouble for saying that?

7:15 am May, 29 doucheual fridays said...

Kill it with fire!!

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