Sunday, May 9, 2010

The Turkish Justin Bieber Loves his Radishes

After watching this, a bunch of Armenians proactively killed themselves.

What?

Too soon?

# posted by douchebag1
9:07 am May, 9 Steve L. said...

so i guess Turkey isn’t joining the EU until they deport their own Justin Bieber to Syria or something.

9:07 am May, 9 Steve L. said...

FIRST MUTHA –

sorry.

9:13 am May, 9 G said...

After seeing this vid, I tossed more than a salad. Mind you, in the name of veggies, I would let those girls wax my bean…

9:37 am May, 9 Chad Kroeger said...

Sweet Mary Magdalene’s panties. I have to shake that out of my head before I go to a BBQ in the fuccking snow so I don’t puke on my mother.

9:39 am May, 9 OMFUG said...

That’s it, I’m burning my ottoman.

9:43 am May, 9 Anonymous said...

I’m Turkish, and I will be the first to admit that Turkish pop music is not great, but this is obviously a joke. A sad, terrible joke.

10:00 am May, 9 Steve L. said...

Turkey might also have to get rid of Ed Hardy apparel before they can join the EU. because i think i’ve already said that before.

sooner or later the “Turkey v.s. EU” line will get old and i might have to resort to “postmodern coup” jokes whenever Turkish douchebaggery comes up.

whoa WTF is a postmodern coup?

crazy cultural nomenclatures.

10:03 am May, 9 Euripidouche said...

convicts in turkish prisons ask fresh meat arrivals if they have ever been in ajdar.

10:08 am May, 9 Douche Dastardly said...

The barely legal Turkish girls commented that between takes Justin and the video Director would take their bananas and both go below deck for 20 minutes. “They went down there a lot during the shoot.” said Adalet a sweet little pigtailed tummy gnaw. “I guess they really wanted to get the angles right. They’re very dedicated to this shoot.”

The girls were a little confused with the use of the radishes. “They mentioned tossing a salad a lot on set, but I never saw anything but the radishes.” said Adelet.

.

Note: After the interview spanked Adelet with her remaining banana skirt and strangled the film crew director and star with the fishing wire Godfather style. Leave the bodies take the radishes

10:08 am May, 9 Anonymous said...

I think he is trying to tell us something with the banana. That’s right: he needs more potassium in his diet to avoid muscle cramps.

10:14 am May, 9 Douchble Helix said...

Ah, I get it. It’s ‘symbolism’. Verrry subtle.

Only things missing are the cigar, train entering a tunnel and a geyser.

10:39 am May, 9 mr.reeve said...

Train wreck on a boat! Is that dude a gay, mongloid Turk? Boats & hoes?

10:59 am May, 9 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

I’d rather listen to Mahir’s album than this.

11:30 am May, 9 Horace Dangleballs said...

Not only did the Armenians proactively kill themselves, but the Chiquita Banana Company just folded in shame and disgrace.

The banana-gobbling was obvious (except for why the guy would be doing it — whatever floats your boat, I guess) but can anyone explain the hidden symbolism of the bunches of RADISHES? I am completely perplexed.

11:36 am May, 9 notadouche said...

Easily the most fucked up thing I’ve seen. Today.

12:23 pm May, 9 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

It sounds like they stole the bass line from the Seinfeld theme song. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…maybe this choad is an Anit-Dentite.

1:25 pm May, 9 Vin Douchal said...

I got 12 seconds in , hit pause, muted the sound, waited for the red stripe to load, dragged the indicator across and watched this rest of this thing in 3 seconds.

As a result, I am a qualified expert.

This is all kinds of awful on two levels. If there’s anyone in his native tongue that likes this sad mistake for entertainment, you live in a cave. Which they most likely do.

We suck for thinking it’s worth watching even to parody it or laugh at it. The thing with parody is the original must be palatable to be satarized.

I don’t even think this guy’s a choad. Let’s face it , whatever shitty sandstrip in the middle east he’s from, they haven’t been subject to decades of tripe from Madonna to Lady Gaga to Oasis to R.E.M. on MTV, shitty rap music from, well anywhere rap music plays, and the internet where in the touch of a button, you can find anything, I mean anything, , whatever you want., so they are a wee bit behind us culturally.

Comedically, they have probably just discovered “Pull My Finger”, “fuckfacesezwhat?” , The Three Stooges and the fact that you can lip sync a song while mugging what seemed like funny concepts at the time into a camera for under $100 nowadays.

Don’t make it right. Or entertaining.

1:27 pm May, 9 Vin Douchal said...

In conclusion. It sucked hind opossum titty

1:49 pm May, 9 The Dude said...

I actually like this music. He sure acts douchey in that vid, though.

1:53 pm May, 9 The Dude said...

He is douchey compared to the guy he’s imitating, Hakim, the Egyptian Michael Jackson.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6gw9o_hakim-kalam-be-kalam_music

2:16 pm May, 9 Lithi said...

Got to the 16 second mark and shut it off. Didn’t even bother to crank the sound. All I needed to see.

2:34 pm May, 9 douchevilla said...

and a LIVE version for those who couldn’t get enough of this (like myself): http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x892yo_ajdar-cikita-muz-beyazshow_music

2:47 pm May, 9 OxyDouche said...

I don’t think the girls are Turkish. Also, the looks on their faces say “I’m not sure they’re paying me enough for this”.

3:52 pm May, 9 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Why?

That’s nobody’s business but the Turks’.

4:15 pm May, 9 Chad Kroeger said...

Great Turkman’s mistress this is genius. Jump the shark my big forzen ass. Pumpito is a hit at the party today.

4:27 pm May, 9 Wheezer said...

Instead of that video, why not just play this game instead?

.

.

.

There are only winners. And boobies. Which means winners.

6:25 pm May, 9 Troy Tempest said...

The constant fucking with the rack focus made me unable to focus on the racks. Made me sea sick and dizzy. And then his tuneless mumbling of chiquita. Blarg. He has a future in the fire escape trade or mowing lawns, one or the other.

7:03 pm May, 9 Crucial Head said...

I once tried to talk a girlfriend into sharing a banana from each end simultaneously… and then I remembered I wasn’t a gay.

7:17 pm May, 9 Anonymous said...

apparently this guy is a reject from the Turkish Idol show… yup, he’s the Turkish William Hung

7:24 pm May, 9 Stephanie said...

judging from his “talent” for hand pumping and dancing that’s about all he does.

7:33 pm May, 9 Ender said...

Good point, DB1. This is where baggery and ethnic cleansing intersect.

7:57 pm May, 9 Armenian-American said...

db1, go fuck yourself

8:22 pm May, 9 DarkSock said...

Armenian American:

.

Wow. Just wow.

8:22 pm May, 9 Medusa Oblongata said...

Josephine Baker just dug herself up, punched her own skeleton, and then re-buried herself.

8:34 pm May, 9 DarkSock said...

It’s getting harder to post “I peed in a horse once”; quite often now you have to register and then get your comments approved by moderators.  So you must slip it in there like a turd in a mud fight , because those fuccers only read the first two sentences.  See Exhibits “A” & “B” below:

.

Hello DarkSock,

You are receiving this notification because your post “Re: Speers vision on

Australia” at “Axis History Forum” was approved by a moderator or

administrator.

If you want to view the post, click the following link:

http://forum.axishistory.com/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=165362&p=1463741&e=1463741

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“Whilst tangentially relevant to the issue of Speer’s designs on Australia, I firmly believe that 1.) any such illustration implies an assumption of eventual 3rd Reich mastery over their Pacific counterparts in the Axis, and 2.) Many anagrams resulting in “I peed in a horse once” also subsume the word “Speer”. This resultant nexus between my keen interest in the mechanics of the second world war and human/equine micturation issues (non-erotic, of course) will be the topic of my seventh in an ongoing series of missives to the leading living authority of all things WW2 – Tom Hanks (former co-star of the popular 80’s sitcom “Bosom Buddies”, which, like many of you, piqued my interest in the horrors of the 2nd Great War.”

8:36 pm May, 9 DarkSock said...

It’s a hobby

9:49 pm May, 9 Mr. Biggs said...

Yeah i gotta admit, this sorta thing makes me wonder what people find so sacred about human life.

9:52 pm May, 9 Mr. Biggs said...

Oh and props to Vin Douchal. He hit the nail on the head.

10:00 pm May, 9 Wedgie said...

Hi Vin:

I liked whatever and want much better than anything and anything.

For what it’s worth.

Thanks,

Wedgie

10:18 pm May, 9 Medusa Oblongata said...

Bleeth Funerals on MTV

11:27 pm May, 9 Baleen said...

Sock FTW.

.

Noble work you are undertaking there sir.

.

And by “undertaking” I mean piss dispersion.

11:43 pm May, 9 Rumpelscroteskin said...

This doofus needs to go back to childhood and read “Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle’s Radish Cure.”

And find Asham the Tootin’ Turk to show him how it’s really done, with song flutes.

11:44 pm May, 9 The Dude said...

I’m gonna defend this music again. Separate what you hear from what you see. The music isn’t douchey; the video IS!

12:39 am May, 10 Baleen said...

No the music isn’t douchey, it merely sucks goat balls and smells like shawarma shit the next day.

12:50 am May, 10 lupus john bijjahnn said...

to be a turkish justin beiber, i think he meets the age requirement. usually the foreign remake is an age 20x that of the original, like the beer gutted turkish spiderman who also has love handles.

as far as the video find–a big fu-kin thank you!

besides his apparent admiration for robyn hitchcock (he too was a musician photographed with radishes), this mediterranean singer seems to have a fondness for the youtube vids featuring hot asian women eating bananas. i can understand that, as to see a banana eaten with love and respect for the fruit is very enjoyable and deserves a good song to commemorate the experience. kudos my singing man on a boat, kudos.

1:16 am May, 10 lupus john bijjahnn said...

i peed in a horse once

*test*

*test*

.

THIS COMMENT FLAGGED FOR DELETION BY SITE ADMINISTRATOR DARKSOCK

6:29 am May, 10 DarkSock said...

Hakim snorted an ironic laugh. His mother had warned him that if he consorted with western women with their boats and jungle fruit and what-not that they would wind up giving him angry red rashes. But Mother was wrong.

.

They gave him red RADISHES. Delicious crisp red radishes. Grown in their butts.

6:48 am May, 10 Claude Douchenburg said...

I am wondering how long they had been working on this idea. For instance, the wardrobe. Now making the little sparkly banana top and , that sexy banana skirt, involved some shopping and then at least an evening of sewing. Then there are the fruits and vegetables. They needed to be purchased and washed. You had to round up a guy with a video camera and a computer with some editing software.

Then don’t forget about the evening when this plan was hatched. So it took maybe 3 or 4 days minimum to create this digital douche debauchery. We only had to live with this video for on 3 minutes but they had to survive it for more than three days. Oh the humanity.

7:01 pm May, 11 Not gonna be creative after a bottle of wine. said...

I am from Armenian descent….keep making douches of yourselves, Turks! Radishes!

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