Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Tommy Bagling in Shop Class

But then, at the end of the semester, Tommy pulled the ceramic elephant’s trunk, but the lamp didn’t turn on. So he pretended he slept with numerous women in the greater Niagara Falls area.

Tommy’s mackage on the not-yet-legals continues in:

Tommy Bagling in Fifth Period

and

Tommy Bagling After School.

Do Us Forget About Him.

# posted by douchebag1
11:44 am May, 18 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Must. Not. Want. Jail. Bait.

11:44 am May, 18 boatbutter said...

I’d like to show that little Laura Prepon hott my drillpress.

11:46 am May, 18 Steve L. said...

they may not be legal yet, but i think one of them is already pregnant.

i hope Tommy’s dad breaks his legs before writing out the cheques to pay for child support.

11:50 am May, 18 mr.reeve said...

This is what I teach my teenage son not to be. It’s working so far but the douche has spread through his high school so I still fear and try to protect/teach him daily.

This kid has no hope and will probably turn up at my door step in his mid 30s to deliver me my pizza with his arms fully sleeved and giant fake bling in his ear. I blame his parents for letting him turn into a giant chode stain.

11:53 am May, 18 Troy Tempest said...

to quote an old song:

“Your admirers in the street

Gotta hoot and stamp their feet

In the heat from your physique

As you twinkle by in moccasin sneakers

And I thought my heart would break

When you doubled up the stake

With your fingers all a shake

You could never tell a winner from a snake

But you always make easy money

And I argued with the judge

But the bastard wouldn’t budge

Cuz they caught me in your pudge

And you never told me once that you were

a minor…”

So, gentlemen – tread lightly on this picture…

12:01 pm May, 18 Steve L. said...

at the end of the day, though, i sincerely hope that the lamp really didn’t turn on for Tommy so that his dad wouldn’t have to pay for child support.

it would still be highly gratifying to see his dad break his legs, however.

12:05 pm May, 18 DarkSock said...

On a very special ABC AfterSchool Special we have the story of Billy Different and his quest to make it aboard the longer bus.

12:10 pm May, 18 Medusa Oblongata said...

Poor bastard. How’s he gonna make the scissor sign when he loses those two fingers to the bandsaw while he’s posing for pics?

12:11 pm May, 18 Medusa Oblongata said...

^ Oops.

12:12 pm May, 18 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Suddenly I have a taste for a pixie stick and Cap’n Crunch sandwich. With a side of jailbait..

12:12 pm May, 18 Douchesquire said...

3 breakfast club references in one post. DB1 is on his game today.

fatties need to hit the track

12:27 pm May, 18 Justin said...

I love the Breakfast Club…well done.

12:39 pm May, 18 smackdouche said...

Oh to be 15 again. If I could shed a few years, I’d definitely hit that young’un on the left. ANd remembering when I was 15, “hit that” meant carrying her books and calling her house only to hang up when her dad answered. Back in my day, that how we “hit that” and we liked it!

Hey, I’m not as young as my typing indicates.

Now get off my lawn you ankle biters!!

12:53 pm May, 18 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Mmmm. Such tasty little dumplings they is. If I had half the chance to corner one of them cuties in a dark corner, I’d insert my 403 Forbidden!

Request forbidden by administrative rules

and clean up the mess with club soda.

1:07 pm May, 18 ButterSauce said...

aww come on guys, he’s just a child. Is that what HCWDB has really come to? Has the net been so overtrolled that all that’s left are these dregs of mock? Is there not some other middleaged orange glo freak monster out there that is more deserving of your pointed commentary? For god sake! They’re just children! I give a notta for the harmless puberty-rage pursuit of high school ass.

1:10 pm May, 18 Army of DOuche-ness said...

excellent breakfast club reference.

1:12 pm May, 18 Justin said...

No mercy for the ‘Baglings! They must be stopped while they are still young!

1:15 pm May, 18 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

High School girls that know about the shocker. My favorite type of High School girls.

1:35 pm May, 18 Douchesquire said...

Absolutely no mercy for the baglings or their shit-for-brained parents. If you dont have enough presence of mind to know what your kid is doing (acting douchey) then its your fault that your kid is a douche, and you shall all be mocked.

Of course Tonguey McBuzzcut’s daddy probably has a closet full of Ed Hardy, runs with the goose, and lists Jersey Shore in his favorites on Facebook.

1:46 pm May, 18 Deltus said...

Stupid, worthless, no good, freeloadin’ son of a bitch, retarded know-it-all asshole jerk!

And that’s just what I say about Tommy Baglings’ parents.

And no, I didn’t forget ugly, lazy, *or* disrespectful.

2:02 pm May, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This next generation of douchebags start around 13 these days. Even in my hometown I am moving to from Niagara in 6 weeks, my second cousins and nieces already have the kissylips and the Ed Hardy dudes on their Facebook profiles. Shaking hand signs and bottle service are starting early. No Mercy. Be thirsty my friends, the Crusade is long.

2:37 pm May, 18 doucheywallnuts said...

The shop class picture really serves to illustrate what power youth has, in that the girl in the front has quite a gunt going, but it’s not disgusting as it would be on a woman 10 years older.

Also I really would have liked to see a red cup in at least one of the pictures.

2:41 pm May, 18 Euripidouche said...

i can’t comment any further than this or my probation officer will make me go around to all of the blogs in the wordpress neighborhood and introduce myself.

2:46 pm May, 18 doucheous rex said...

I would sacrifice Tommy and his Eminem hair to the currently halled Pancakes Tasty Syrup Cutie

3:05 pm May, 18 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Must. Not. Want. Jail. Bait.

Ah, but within 4 years, they’ll be legal…

3:10 pm May, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’m a fucking idiot because I can’t make a lamp?

No. You’re a genius because you can’t make a lamp.

4:20 pm May, 18 dej said...

“ButterSauce said…

aww come on guys, he’s just a child. Is that what HCWDB has really come to? ”

He’s wearing an earring.

He’s infected.

9:05 pm May, 18 Anonymous said...

Have we really stooped so low as to target children? Even if they douchebags, I still feel its partially wrong. But then again, stopping the douche virus is not a task for the faint of heart…

9:07 pm May, 18 Whoop-di-douche said...

It starts earlier than age 13. It starts way back in kindergarten or first grade. I think some of their teachers are also infected and passing it onto their students.

Chickie in the middle may already be carrying the next generation of hott-doucheosity in her rounded belly. Or just in need of some ACTIVIA.

9:20 pm May, 18 Stephanie said...

It’s just a matter of time and they will go all douchey and pollute the earth in larger quantities, if we stop them now, and let them know how idiotic they are,they might think….oh wait, forget it. They’re tongues are hanging like a Ren and Stempy cartoon and there’s no hope.

10:06 pm May, 18 Medusa Oblongata said...

That’s bullshit. It’s all part of his image.

10:08 pm May, 18 Ultra Bagnus said...

Tommy is the kind of kid that gets his taint handed to him on a weekly basis by the starting defensive line. And he never seems to learn…

10:32 pm May, 18 Baleen said...

Nobody is above an ass whuppin.

11:45 pm May, 18 Matt said...

Hmm definitely a chemistry class. But definitely a douche.

12:54 am May, 19 Scroteophobic said...

“aww come on guys, he’s just a child. Is that what HCWDB has really come to?”

..

Wait a minute? So what is being said about the girls and what the other posters are emphatically denying they want to do to them (OK, one of them) is OK but taking the piss out of some kid ins a YSL hoody throwing a hand sign at the camera is wrong? Did I just walk through a mirror or something?

3:23 am May, 19 Bruce said...

Nobody is above an ass whuppin.

6:52 am May, 19 the motley douche said...

kudos on the BC ref, DB1. I’ve never felt so old as the day I learned that my neighbor, who is a mere 4 years younger than I, had never seen what I consider to be one of the best non-action movies ever made and a staple of my youth.

7:45 pm May, 19 horncusker said...

I see GUNT – such a shame at a young age, must be all the shiat that kids are being fed at schools –

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