Thursday, May 6, 2010

Uncle Jimmy Cuts Loose

I almost wanna give Uncle Jimmy a nottadouche and a goinpeace.

Since the work release program, Uncle Jimmy works hard at Rite-Aid. The pay sucks. And his manager is an angry shrew named Lola who cuts his breaks short by five minutes and refuses to give him the promotion to “Jr. Manager.”

So if Uncle Jimmy wants to cut loose on a Saturday and bust his finest silk black Yankee Cap and peace sign, while rubbing up on Helene, can we really call douche? I say no. Go in Peace, Jimmy.

Mmmm… Helene. Party Girl Helene. You are dirty sexy money, humpity arm spasm delight. Your boobs could cause an Arctic seal to slap a penguin and demand more floe space.

# posted by douchebag1
2:44 pm May, 6 scrotum pole said...

Buffalo Beast peers deeply into his beer bottle. He’s seeking the courage to once again, bite his tongue and leave the bar without comment.

2:49 pm May, 6 Crucial Head said...

Bewbs.

2:50 pm May, 6 Crucial Head said...

Notta and fuccen hotta.

.

Thank you.

2:54 pm May, 6 Southern Scrotic said...

Major ta-tas.

3:03 pm May, 6 Fat, Drunk, and Douchey said...

You give me two of your American cigarettes and you can spend bouncy time with my sister Svetlana. She nice. You like.

3:04 pm May, 6 Douchble Helix said...

Now *that’s HoH.

3:48 pm May, 6 Soy Bomb said...

She is fantastic. I am very horny at her. I would bust on the approach.

5:36 pm May, 6 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

I’d say Nottadouche. And she is most exquisite and gland-stimulating. Good glands.

6:41 pm May, 6 mr.reeve said...

Tittttaaaaasssss!!!!!!!

I think Uncle Jimmy might fuck you up if you tried to call him a douche. Agreed. Notta douche.

Two of Palmdale’s finest right there. Ex-con and titties hangen out. Just another day in P-Dale……

7:41 pm May, 6 Whoop-di-douche said...

Who’s lookin’ at him? Oh, he does have BUG EYES, lookin’ at YOU.

Way to go Helene.

Blonded tresses, lissome arms,

Low cut dress exposes charms.

Natural boobies, wasplike waist,

Smackin’ lips, give us a TASTE!

Hall of HOTT.

7:51 pm May, 6 Anonymous said...

uncle jimmy is actually matt serra UFC fighter who got beat down by GSP

7:55 pm May, 6 Mr. White said...

If I may, let me give you a little preview of what a night with Helene will be like:

She lets you buy her drinks, screwdrivers to be specific. She thinks they’re “classier than just JD and shit.” After 9 or 10, she tells you to take her home. She pukes in the parking lot on the way to the car.

She lives in a mobile home. When she slips into the bathroom to “change into something sexy,” you see her mail on the sofa. Her name isn’t Helene–it’s Lurleen.

She comes back out wearing a man’s t-shirt with chewing tobacco stains and her panties still wrapped around one ankle. She leads you to the bedroom.

She has a water bed, naturally. Luckily for you, she’s up for a session of no-foreplay-doggie-style, which is really for the best because her breath still smells like orange puke. Another plus in her favor is that she doesn’t mind you banging her head off the wall while you fuck her.

Just as your nearing the home stretch, you feel someone watching you. You turn and see a kid, maybe 5 years old. Her kid. Her head banging against the wall woke him up. He has a pacifier in his mouth and is still wearing diapers.

But Lurleen wants to finish. “Hold on a minute, Tater,” she tells the kid. “Momma’ll get you a Diet Coke in a minute.”

8:16 pm May, 6 Wedgie said...

^White, you old salty fuccer. Snot rockets out of both nostrils, my highest praise.

BTW, that’s the reddest fuccen OJ I’ve ever seen in Lurleen’s glass. Must be those stupid blood oranges.

8:51 pm May, 6 Jimmy said...

Hall Of Hott. I had to immediately pump off to this Helene

9:10 pm May, 6 Maxim Kovalenko said...

Douche is Douche, whether it’s on work release or not.

And Helene is Hott, whether she is with Jimmy or not.

9:28 pm May, 6 Mushman72 said...

Yeah, this has to be one of the hottest girls I’ve seen on this site. Outrageous.

10:08 pm May, 6 Steve L. said...

i came.

i saw.

i Googled Rite-Aid.

then i laughed.

and then i jizzed my pants.

11:44 pm May, 6 Baleen said...

Top shelf ‘tang there boss. I can so imagine her bony little fingers fingering my bony jizz slinger.

12:11 am May, 7 Crucial Head said...

Mr. White.

.

.

FTW… as they say.

1:41 am May, 7 Douchble Helix said...

While I believe I was the first to nominate the lovely Helene for HoH, perhaps more appropriate would be a Beavis & Butthead inspired Hall O’ Slutt.

5:56 am May, 7 Deltus said...

Sweet, succulent boobage. Afraid we can’t give him a notta though. Especially since a choad looking motherfucker like him absolutely should NOT be rubbing up against, or even within 5 feet of, tasty hottie succulentness like her.

6:49 am May, 7 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Sweet mother of Neptune.

.

Helene gives my boner a boner.

.

6:51 am May, 7 Bagnonymous said...

Helene for Hall of “Well, are you gonna come over here and f*ck me or what?”

7:01 am May, 7 Claude Douchenburg said...

On Helen I am Gnawing.

8:15 am May, 7 Douchble Helix said...

I live in a world where Jimmy doesn’t exist. He’s invisible, like the black ‘NY’ on his fucking black hat.

Helene’s slyly peeking out fuchsia cups and straps match her panties, but are no match for those gazoobies. That is the totality of this photo.

I know she’s not wearing any panties, but I liked the phrasing.

9:35 am May, 7 Euripidouche said...

@mr. white, and god bless her for it.

i love to see a thoroughly debauched woman. there is nothing you have done, seen, or heard about that she hasn’t participated in, more than once, occasionally sober, in the daylight.

first thing i am doing when i arrive at her trailer, is taking a peek at the hitch, if its too shiny, which i don’t expect it to be, i will adjust my expectations accordingly, because i’m a sensitive guy.

12:28 pm May, 7 doucheywallnuts said...

It’s not April 1st so I must assume DB1 has been doing shots of Sterno and Captain Morgan’s.

This is a total douche sighting. The oversized logo, brim of the hat, puka shell bracelet and hand gesture are all I need to see.

1:45 pm May, 7 ChrisS said...

Yeah that’s totally MMA fighter Matt Serra.

6:10 pm May, 7 Douche Scroets Scrociety said...

Uncle Jimmy is out on work release

His doucheness is minor, so please go in peace

The saving grace of this pic is no doubt

The image of Helene’s hot boob hanging out

7:39 pm May, 7 AntiDouche said...

Ha! I’ve seen that guy and I know the girl. Small world.. lol

10:11 pm May, 7 Doo Schnozzle said...

Is Helene really sporting a wristdana?

:

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