Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Who Cares About Groin Shave Reveal Greg?

Is Greg a douche? Do we care?

Lets talk Kimberly.

Boobs.

Gazangas.

Tatines.

Flesh trampolines of feverish honeysuckle ivory rub water slide funhouse gnaw chomp lampchop grabby fondle.

Perky hellos of anthropomorphized wonderland bosom mounds of jumpy leprechaun rainbow nugat bite.

Artie Lange in the background may not be impressed. But we are.

# posted by douchebag1
9:20 am May, 5 Crucial Head said...

“Flesh trampolines of feverish honeysuckle ivory rub water slide funhouse gnaw chomp lampchop grabby fondle.”

.

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That’s why I keep coming back boss.

9:21 am May, 5 Crucial Head said...

Buffalo Beast grasped his temples and telepathically conveyed his deepest sympathies to Artie as he recovered from the numerous stab wounds.

9:25 am May, 5 saulgoode42 said...

Rubberized spring-loaded sno-cones from Planet Omygodyesplease.

9:27 am May, 5 YabbaDabbaDouche said...

Why don’t you just worship the Drs that create these flesh trampolines as you call them. You mock douches but have no problem worshipping silicone. *shakes head*

9:30 am May, 5 Chad Kroeger said...

He just changed my oil and rotated my tires at Wal Mart.

She looks nothing like the ladies at Wal Mart and will never be a greeter. I give him my first ever not after the atrocity I have seen today.

On a related note. Mrs. Kroeger, now a douchehunter, spotted the first bag we have seen in our soon to be new hometown. Fauxhawk, very Bra, wife beater under white Ed Hardy, shiny red pants, white belt and sunglasses. My counter-offer just got lower by $15000 times the power of douche. And I don’t want the hot tub.

9:33 am May, 5 Garth Helmet said...

@YabbaDabbaDouche,

You mock douches but have no problem assuming a thin woman with completely covered, large breasts, must not have come by them naturally. *shakes head*

9:34 am May, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

First thing that came to mind when I saw those fun bags was motor boating,

9:37 am May, 5 John McenDouche said...

Wow. That is some plastic fantastic.

9:43 am May, 5 bigphatnotadouche said...

A solid set of TaTa’s.

I want to touch them while I touch myself.

I give the dude a NOTTA for standing so close to those fine hooters.

9:53 am May, 5 YabbaDabbaDouche said...

@ GH,, yeh right… they’re real OK..lol..

But whatever, it doesn’t change the fact that many of the women posted in the pics on here have fake breasts and many of you, including DB1 just drool all over them. So it seems a bit stupid to me that many of you have no problems mocking DB’s but drool like 7th graders over bimbo chicks with fake tits. I stopped my mocking long ago on here because I could see the major problem with that.

To have any integrity, the DB’s and the fake titted bimbos should be mocked equally. Either that or change the name of the site to “We love silicone tits attached to bimbos but hate DB’s.”

9:53 am May, 5 Wheezer said...

Kimberly: boobies. Yes.

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GSR Greg? Stinko de Mayo (and the rest of the year as well).

9:56 am May, 5 Anonymous said...

I’m thinkin’ that’s his sister. And I’d hit it.

Yeah, I said it.

10:04 am May, 5 Garth Helmet said...

@Yabba,

Are you familiar with the term “bleeth” that has been bantered about here since your “olden” days of mocking?

10:15 am May, 5 Douche of Hazard said...

I bet he has a skin lump like a Ken doll.

10:28 am May, 5 E-blo's Last Thought said...

I love big boobs.

.

I love big fake boobs

.

I love the daddy issues that come with big fake boobs

.

I love the stuff that chicks with daddy issues and big fake boobs let you do to them in the bedroom.

.

I see no conflict of interest in the pairing of bags of poo with bags of fun.

10:32 am May, 5 Mr. White said...

@yabba

You do know that this is a satirical, humor-based site, right? That we’re just amusing ourselves (except for DB1, who’s amusing himself and making money), not buying into a true philosophy or code for living? That I’m not really that kid from “The Orphanage,” nor is Crucial Head really Joe Strummer, nor is Wheezer actually a pair of dogs? It’s just for shits and giggles, bro.

And if this troubles you so much, why come back? For example, you could start up itakeshitwaytooseriously.com and post all of your logically sound, well thought-out diatribes there.

10:33 am May, 5 Anonymous said...

more pics of kimberly please! wow

10:46 am May, 5 bigphatnotadouche said...

YABBA @ 9:53

“To have any integrity, the DB’s and the fake titted bimbos should be mocked equally. Either that or change the name of the site to “We love silicone tits attached to bimbos but hate DB’s.”

I agre with your statement and hopefully DB1 will develop the idea as his TV show spin-off.

I mock the Hotts gigantic glasses while worshipping the saline implants. Too bad I didn’t see any Ass Pear in the photo.

10:48 am May, 5 Crucial Head said...

@Mr. White,

.

While I may not be Joe Strummer, everyone already knows that I am DarkSock. And Pömmelhorse Pümmelfister, Thorax Hammersmith, Ümläüt Smäck Döwn, BCS, and occasionally Anonymous.

.

.

And I do prefer natural, unbleethed boobs in most cases. But my conscience certainly will allow me to ogle these curvacious lambchops of boobie suckle waterballoon suppleninnies.

10:50 am May, 5 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Waaaaay too much clothing…

10:52 am May, 5 Ludacris Axehandle McCockwielder said...

Good thing I am not Crucial Head or Mr. White.

10:52 am May, 5 G. Gorgeous Clitty said...

I think we can all agree with you Ludacris.

10:53 am May, 5 Lämp said...

**clicks on**

.

.

.

I Love *gasp* Boobs AND Ass Pear

.

.

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**clicks off**

10:54 am May, 5 Flyteeth said...

WAIT IT THOUGHT I WAS FUCEN DARKSOCK? OR AM I FUCCEN MEDUDSA? I CANT REMEMBE R FOR THE TAMRLA OF ME ANYMORE!

10:56 am May, 5 Baron Von Goolo said...

Five bucks says the glasses are hiding a lazy and/or seeping eye and/or a unibrow.

.

Because God is a fair god. It would be so unfair for her to be perfect everywhere. And those shorts are too short for her to be hiding a vestigial tail.

11:01 am May, 5 Crucial Head said...

5 bucks says a vestigial tail gets the Baron revved up in the loins.

.

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Or, maybe it’s just me.

.

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The vestigial tail part… not Baron being excited.

.

Nevermind.

11:10 am May, 5 Anonymous said...

Today is Wednesday.

In honor of hump day, I shall set my laptop on the sofa, with Kimberly’s luscious image smiling seductively at me.

I shall then furiously hump my favorite couch cushion, while pondering the number of flattened aluminium cans it would take to pave Interstate 70 from Richfield, Utah to Pittsburgh, PA.

11:11 am May, 5 scrotum pole said...

With his new avatar, it’s hards to take FLYTEETH seriously.

11:22 am May, 5 Bagnonymous said...

b O O bs!

11:23 am May, 5 Bagnonymous said...

…and to think, those milk-melons would look even comparatively larger if it weren’t for the massive sunglasses.

11:27 am May, 5 scrotum pole said...

@ White

-Wheezer’s not two dogs?

11:31 am May, 5 Wheezer said...

WOOF WOOF

.

.

.

.

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Ummmmm…..as far as you know…..

11:48 am May, 5 Condouchious say... said...

i mean are kimberly’s fake? even without the appropriate grope/nuzzle/motorboat test i would say in all likelihood they are.

would this stop me from conducting the grope/nuzzle/motorboat test? by the hammer of thor i say no!

11:51 am May, 5 douche bigalow said...

Carpe’ Di’Johnson.

11:56 am May, 5 curbyourendouchiasm said...

I hope you have already set this one aside for the weekly, DB1.

I agree that Greg’s doucheness pales next to her…well you know….but the ‘aw gee, do you think I should pull my pants up and cinch this belt my dad bought in 1972 one hole tighter’ look on this asshole’s face deserves further mock in the weekly.

12:00 pm May, 5 massengill said...

Maybe she has boobs for eyes.

12:09 pm May, 5 tall guy said...

Agreed with every complimentary comment re. her great rack.

…And, that sideways, slightly elevated cap-look, which from what I observe in Sydney by local douches is a fashion that requires constant pimping, is something I find especially baggish. the sight of some skinny, baggy clothes-wearing brat pimping his cap like a catwalk model induces enough loathing in me to strike random blows on their ugly little heads.

12:12 pm May, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Mr. White

You mean I’m not a muppet? But all my students seem to think so. Maybe that explains that uncomfortable feeling I get when I take a shit. It kinda feels like someone has their hand up my ass. Hmmmmmmm….

12:22 pm May, 5 Barack O'Bagga and The Audacity of Scrote said...

@Crucial Head 10:48: And also the lead singer of Die Antwoord.

12:27 pm May, 5 mr.reeve said...

That is the hottest chick on this site in a while! BBBBBOOOOOOOBBBBBBBSSSSS!!!!

I am in the mood for MILK now.

12:36 pm May, 5 Deltus said...

Her body is teh hottness. But I wonder about the face, with those ginormous shades. She could be a butterface.

12:52 pm May, 5 DarkSock said...

YabbaDabbaDouche:

.

“…it seems a bit stupid to me that many of you have no problems mocking DB’s but drool like 7th graders over bimbo chicks with fake tits. I stopped my mocking long ago on here because I could see the major problem with that.”

.

Hmm. I thought you’d stopped posting because you weren’t that funny. Go figure.

12:54 pm May, 5 DarkSock said...

It has been well documented that I’m an arse man, and while I often profess disdain for bolt-ons, there is simply some biological trigger that the silhouette of a lithe form with well-turned out gizzongas pulls….I don’t want to be aroused, but then *SPOIN-GINK!!!* out comes the turgid beef kickstand.

12:56 pm May, 5 DarkSock said...

My middle name is Aloysius.

12:59 pm May, 5 DarkSock said...

She may actually be Dan Baird, former lead singer of The Georgia Satellites, after a particularly well-done sex change.

.

I’d still hit it….janga-langa-lannng

1:05 pm May, 5 Scrotediddilyumptious said...

@yabba and anyone else who cares:

I love boobies. Big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, round ones and, hell, square ones for that matter! They can be black, white, yellow or green ones! And I REALLY like Kimberlys boobies! BOOBIES!!!!

1:06 pm May, 5 Douche Scroets Scrociety said...

Yes Greg is a douche, for that we can mock

But let us be thankful he’s not showing his cock

Now turn your attention to Kim and her chest

Those ginormous huge funbags are simply the best

1:20 pm May, 5 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

His face says it all-“Wow she is just drunk enough to touch me, but not so drunk she falls down”

1:37 pm May, 5 Wedgie said...

I can’t really blame him, I would probably also have that stupid look on my face if I was standing so close to perfection.

Fuccen mahvelous.

2:02 pm May, 5 Peter Ilyich Doucheovsky said...

Wait, wait, wait….

There’s a dude in this picture?

All I see are booooooooooooooobs.

2:04 pm May, 5 Baron Von Goolo said...

Re. myself 10:56 am

I’m not saying this is true. I’m just saying we have no proof it’s not.

And yes, I have better things to do with my time than to mock this lovely couple. But for the moment, I’m on the low road.

2:15 pm May, 5 Whoop-di-douche said...

Crucial Head, Darksock, FLYTEETH, it’s all the same to me.

Fuccen tarmalized

2:21 pm May, 5 Whoop-di-douche said...

Greg, an artist’s model with a predilection to pose as Michelangelo’s DAVID in the groin area, doesn’t hold a Roman candle to Kimberly’s comfort zone cowabungas.

2:24 pm May, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

A nice set of rib balloons should always be appreciated, fake or real.

2:25 pm May, 5 scrotum pole said...

@ BVG 2:04,

Awsome.

Now we finally find out what happened to Captain Bringdown.

2:44 pm May, 5 Walrus Whisker said...

Wait, Baron Von Goolo DIDN’T photoshop his own eyes onto the hott?

2:45 pm May, 5 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@BVG ^2:04

She looks like the 7th generation offspring of Mormon polygamists roaming the hills above my compound.

.

.

Only with breasts that haven’t been ravaged by a brood of 7+ mongoloids.

.

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I’d still do her.

.

.

After I enticed her away from the garbage cans with tasty bits of Hostess Cupcakes.

3:08 pm May, 5 DarkSock said...

@BVG ^2:04

.

That made her hotter for me. I’ve always wanted a shot at Captain Bringdown’s daughter. (damn you Scrotum Pole for beating me to that one…)

.

Speaking of which…..where is Captain Bringdown…? Captain? CAPTAIN???

.

CAAAAAAAAAPTAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNN!!!

3:12 pm May, 5 doucheywallnuts said...

It’s odd that douchebag Greg has chest hair stubble but is engaging in the groin shave reveal. It’s a paradox only Stephen Hawking can explain. Or maybe Donkey Douche….

4:07 pm May, 5 YabbaDabbaDouche said...

Whatever man.. I hate the fake titted, tarded out bimbos more than the orange orangatangs.

I’m just surprised that many of you like the fake women but hate the orange men.

This site talks about saving the women from Bleethness yet praises the women that are almost there or are pretty. (even though they have implants and are fake as hell)

So anyway, enjoy your PBR and try not to get to much silicone in your mouth. i.e. stop sucking so much. 😉

4:09 pm May, 5 mr.reeve said...

I still want to Milk! Help me Kim! Help me!

5:19 pm May, 5 scrotum pole said...

Yabba Dabba 4:07

I have nothing against the Orangemen.

Syracuse is a fine university, and I think their basketball team will be do well next season in The Big East.

(Pretty good Lacrosse team as well)

5:21 pm May, 5 scrotum pole said...

^ Also, I’ll refer you to Mr. White 10:32

7:00 pm May, 5 Douchble Helix said...

Curse you, Mr. White. I suppose there’s no free will, either?

Baron, too funny!

Is there such a thing as a Joey Lawrence douchebag? ‘Cause we landed us one here.

7:01 pm May, 5 Douchble Helix said...

Baron, I went back for a second look. Still laughing. And you did a great job!

8:03 pm May, 5 Stephanie said...

Look at the priceless face,He’s just lucky to be breathing huh? He keeps forgetting “okay in with the air,now out with the air”.

8:06 pm May, 5 Troy Tempest said...

@yababadabba-

I dig what you’re saying dude.

I’m harder on the chix than the douchebags. But then, that would make sense.

Sort of.

Kinda.

I detest the bleeths – they make me cringe. Mostly it’s their whiny nasal voices. Nasal is fine – we’re born with the septums we get, but whiny? Sorry – bzzzzzzzzzt! game over.

And how much did you pay for those shoes? Wow – what a deal? (like I give a fuck…)

9:36 pm May, 5 Douchus O'Callahan said...

I wanna take that cross and ring his neck with it for even coming near that specimen of perfection.

9:44 pm May, 5 Douchble Helix said...

That’s not Artie Lange back there. It’s the grown up Jerry Mathers, as the Beaver. And the guy directly behind him is getting high for the first time.

11:48 pm May, 5 Steve L. said...

i think what BVG is going for is essentially Murphy’s Law.

but hey, even if she’s a butterface, just go at it from behind and it’s just like doing a Sports Illustrated model.

so what is this “standards” mumbo jumbo that you speak of?

11:58 pm May, 5 Steve L. said...

@ YabbaDabbaDouche 4:07 PM

whoa whoa whoa when did i say that i would save women from the bleethdom? do i look like i have a magic wand?

i was totally unaware of having such astounding prowess. i guess i should be flattered that you’re putting such tremendous responsibilities on me, but i’m telling you, i’m just a hatter.

10:45 am May, 6 Medusa Oblongata said...

“Fake tits, real tits, they all taste the same.”

.

“They might be fake on the inside, but they’re real on the outside!’

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“Fake or real, the cumshot rolls off ’em the same way.”

.

I got nothing against fakies. In fact, they can be amazing. I’ve seen some spectacular tit jobs in my line of work. But I’ve seen some awful ones as well. I’ve seen some spectacular naturals and I’ve seen some awful ones. I think it’s all about the woman they’re attached to, the way she carries herself. I’d rather see a woman with a tit job dressed nicely and looking cute than one with real tits dressed like a truck-stop hooker and acting like a total nitwit. Judging by how far hers are from her armpit, I’d say the gal in the pic is wearing a push-up bra, as opposed to having implants. Either way, she is all kinds of girl-next-door niceness and I would totally have a picnic with her on 4th of July and give her one too many wine coolers in the hopes that she would “accidentally” kiss me.

.

@ FLYTEETH 10:54

“OR AM I FUCCEN MEDUDSA? ”

I thought we agreed to call it “Rutting”. You know I hate it when you say that.

10:46 am May, 6 Medusa Oblongata said...

^ And I forgot all about GSR Greg. You’re right, Deebs. Nobody cares about him.

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