Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Ask DB1: More Douchebaguettes

—–

DB1,

Post more female douchebagettes!!! They crack my ass up.

– Merv Griffinbag

—-

As you wish, M.G.

Normally I prefer to keep the HCwDB formula gender specific, but here’s a pretty good case of a Stage-4 Bleeth. Orange, kissy lips and whatever genetic benefits of boobage, lost to the ways of the scrotefung.

Andrew Ridgeley, however, never should’ve left Wham.

# posted by douchebag1
9:12 am June, 22 bigphatnotadouche said...

I bet the orange from the bleeth will stain his tighty whities.

9:19 am June, 22 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Wow this bitch is fugly bleethy.

9:20 am June, 22 DarkSock said...

Her dildo looks like a cheese puff.

9:21 am June, 22 Bagnonymous said...

Merv,

.

If by “crack my ass up” you mean “make me wanna stab myself in the nuts just to ensure that I cannot have a daughter, on the off chance that her friends might convince her that tanning salons are cool and end up looking like this,” then yes–they crack my ass up, too.

9:22 am June, 22 DarkSock said...

Here’s a photo of her tanning bed.

9:28 am June, 22 Crucial Head said...

I see that the bleeth’s hand transplant with The Swamp Witch went well.

9:39 am June, 22 Bagnonymous said...

Wait a damn minute.. her brother Chester‘s a douche, too–complete with shades and the sideways peace sign. How did I never notice this?

9:45 am June, 22 Vin Douchal said...

DB1,

Post more female douchebagettes!!! They clean up my dog’s poops in the back yard.

9:46 am June, 22 Vin Douchal said...

DB1,

Post more female douchebagettes!!! They help me cut back on fwapping and that’s good for my cocck.

9:52 am June, 22 RAPETIME said...

Gross. She looks like a herpes-infected Cheeto.

11:03 am June, 22 chaserofthehott said...

DB1,

Post more female douchebagettes!!!They make me go back to church and pray for the sanity of mankind.

11:06 am June, 22 The Right Honorable Member for, The Very Reverend Mother Her Duchal Serene Highness, Dr, Hortense Sussudio Fuckerfaster said...

verily, a whole wheat toasted baguette

11:07 am June, 22 chaserofthehott said...

DB1,

Ignore my last post. Lets face it douchebag, douchebagett, they all make me go to church weekly and pray for the sanity of mankind.

11:23 am June, 22 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’m not so sure the hand in the picture belongs to the douche. It looks like Buffalo Beast is signaling that both of them will be on tonight’s menu.

11:24 am June, 22 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

That’s right sweetheart, kiss you good looks and anything else that made you normal once, goodbye.

11:31 am June, 22 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

She’s the kinda girl who would push you back on the bed and mount you viscously, hammering up and down until your pelvis was nothing more than squishy goose liver patte, then stand up and squirt your still erect cockk out onto your chest with an audible “plonk”.

.

Fortunately, she doesn’t need to be wearing an orange safety vest for you to see her coming.

11:37 am June, 22 End the Haberdouchery said...

Getting head from her would be like cutting a hole in a pumpkin and putting a wig on it.

11:51 am June, 22 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

When she makes that kissy face her Zorro mustache really stands out.

.

And not in a “Have at thee tyrant!” sorta way.

12:14 pm June, 22 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

If you want to ask her out you’ve got to get dad’s approval.

12:46 pm June, 22 Medusa Oblongata said...

I’m not sure if this site is to thank (blame), but I find myself dressing more and more like a Mennonite in a desperate attempt to clearly distance myself from these orange, pustulent cum-dumpsters that are the beauty standard of modern woman. Oh, how I long for the good old days I never got to see.

1:12 pm June, 22 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Medusa^

.

Why is it I envision you in one of those dresses with crotchless panties and thigh high stockings straddling a wind powered cybian?

.

Oh, and using your doily hat to wipe my bisquit gravy from your chin.

.

You’re raising more than a barn I can tell you that.

1:17 pm June, 22 chaserofthehott said...

Once again Medusa, I love you! Will you marry me?

1:37 pm June, 22 Bag Margera said...

Cheeto-Woman causes me shrinkage.

1:39 pm June, 22 Bag Margera said...

^ I gave up trying to quit smoking, and now my posts are much more effective and to-the-point.

3:32 pm June, 22 soy bomb said...

@ Dr. HoneyDouche: It could also be Buffalo Beast taking aim with his invisible slingshot. Though I would aim slightly right and take out the freakier of the two…aw shucks, who am I to question Buffalo Beast?

3:32 pm June, 22 Euripidouche said...

@ medusa

i dated a mennonite chick, which was hard, because in her case the old joke about “what’s every amish girl’s fantasy?, to mennonite” was very funny, to everyone but her, and for good reason…

not that i minded, i was just divorced and in my mid 20s, i didn’t even care that even the neighbor’s jr high daughter thought she was slutty.

but anyway, the mennonites, ie fallen or worldly amish, can range from pretty close to what your picture shows, all the way to what i have to confess in retrospect, was stage 2 bleeth on her most wholesome day. her family was 2 generations removed from the amish thing, and if she was a point on the trendline, i’d hate to see her kids, and hope to christ none of them are mine.

7:32 pm June, 22 Steve L. said...

douchebaguettes are baked in ovens with only 1 temperature setting: SCORCH INTO SMITHEREENS.

11:51 pm June, 22 Whoop-di-douche said...

HAR de har har, the day Medusa dresses like a Mennonite is the day Obama cross-dresses like RuPaul.

11:54 pm June, 22 Whoop-di-douche said...

Those aren’t fingertips, they’re tentacles on a sea-food critter’s arm. She must be a mermaid gone rogue..

11:58 pm June, 22 Whoop-di-douche said...

It’s such a shame DB1 has to confuse the sensation of a crispy baked baguette of French bread with the term “douchebaguette.”

I wouldn’t dunk a buttered baguette into my morning bathwater or my cafe au lait.

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