Thursday, June 3, 2010

Caption This Pic

If there’s one thing Tony had learned in his years as a bouncer, it’s that there’s only way to remove an ass hickey. And it involves lemons.

# posted by douchebag1
11:12 am June, 3 Wheezer said...

Two Girls, One Choad – Tony is committing the cardinal sin of biting the butt that feeds him.

11:13 am June, 3 Foggy said...

Not the usual way to check for a gas leak.

11:13 am June, 3 Wheezer said...

Having run out of ink, Tony decided that he’d use the “patterned bruising by biting” tattooing technique.

11:14 am June, 3 Victor von Douche said...

What’s with the purple bracelet, did he just get out of the hospital or something? Probably had an adverse reaction to the extract of horse testosterone he was taking. I’ll bet the girl is thinking “you can’t get herpes from an ass nibble, can you???”

11:15 am June, 3 E-blo's Last Thought said...

Vh1’s new show, “what did she eat?” has yet to really catch on.

11:18 am June, 3 dknutty said...

Elizabeth experiences instant evolution as she sprouts wings and attempts to free herself from the grasp Tony the Ass Biter.

11:19 am June, 3 End the Haberdouchery said...

Taking a hint from current events, Tony tried to cap Vicky’s explosive diarrhea with his tongue as a containment dome.

11:24 am June, 3 Mr. White said...

Still under the effects of the epidural, Shawna had no idea that Tony had attached himself to her ass.

11:25 am June, 3 Crucial Head said...

Two Girls, One Cup XXVII was filming away quite smashingly until Marvin ditched the cup and cut straight to the oral receptacle scene.

11:26 am June, 3 Crucial Head said...

Gattdammit Wheezer – you cunning little bastid!

11:27 am June, 3 Crucial Head said...

With the tip of his tongue flickering like an epileptic rattlesnake, Herbert continued to coax the gerbil race onward towards the descending colon finish line.

11:28 am June, 3 Crucial Head said...

“Honey, this pimple is much tougher to pop than I thought.”

11:28 am June, 3 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Abby thought she was taking a dump. Little did she know she was giving birth to a doucebag.

11:29 am June, 3 Crucial Head said...

Aloysius had a strange habit of gnawing at all the structural posts in a building until the figure of a semi-nude female was made manifest.

11:29 am June, 3 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

“I can’t believe I just sharted.”

11:30 am June, 3 Mr. White said...

Early adoptors for Eurosilicone’s new gluteal implants were saddened when they learned that the FDA was requiring more durability tests.

11:36 am June, 3 Crucial Head said...

Captain Blue Balls made sure he always carried the figurehead from his pirate ship around like a cat holding its kitten by the scruff of its derriere.

11:37 am June, 3 Wheezer said...

Crimson Ted says, “Ur doin it rong.”

11:37 am June, 3 scrotum pole said...

Waldo could barely contain his excitement as his blow-up, real doll reached full inflation.

11:38 am June, 3 Crucial Head said...

Dr. Melvin Von Mudbiscuit kept the packed-ice in close proximity as he continued harvesting Shirley’s organs through her anus.

11:39 am June, 3 Wheezer said...

The irony of having drinks at the Tao of Poo was universally lost.

11:39 am June, 3 Crucial Head said...

Grant felt exceptionally awkward each time he came back to the throat lozenge asshole-dispenser.

11:41 am June, 3 Crucial Head said...

Even without the aid of his trusty air compressor, Stewart valiantly continued to power his lift until the last roof truss was set in place.

11:42 am June, 3 Chevy Doucherado said...

Bleeth’s ass leak continues to pump out an estimated 20,000 douches per day. Resulting oil spill causing unprecedented damage to Vegas’ fragile ecosystem.

11:42 am June, 3 scrotum pole said...

As a skilled bassoonist, Bubba attempts to blow a lovely sonata in C minor, through Shirley’s rectum.

11:43 am June, 3 Merle Baggard said...

effing gross.

11:44 am June, 3 Crucial Head said...

Agnes reached for the sky to summon all her energy before power crunching a thunderous expulsion of molten fecal matter into the anticipating mouth of her love.

11:47 am June, 3 scrotum pole said...

Noted proctologist, Dr. Herman Sphincter attempts a rare poolside hemorrhoid removal.

11:48 am June, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The Food Network’s newest show, ” Guess What Was Scraped Off The Floor of This Dive “, had to be canceled due to the unfortunate incident where judge “Big Tony” Scarfolo suffered second degree burns about his face and neck from the flammable sharting produced from Contestant Cathy’s Kung Pow Kimchi.

11:50 am June, 3 Tony Ventresca said...

Surprisingly hard to come up with a good caption for this photo, isn’t it?

.

As a person who gets freaked out a bit if someone hands me a drink with their hands smearing the rim, let me just say I am totally absolutely freaked out by the still life of grimy infected glasses, cups, and ice bucket in the foreground. Sharing drinks and reaching into the ice bucket with your hands is a great way to ensure your return home from your “island adventure package tour” is followed up with a visit to the doctor a couple days later.

11:50 am June, 3 scrotum pole said...

Officials from The Guiness Book of Records wait with baited breath, as Susie attempts to excrete an entire meal of enchaladas and tamales through Tommy’s waiting digestive tract.

11:52 am June, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“Hold still, I think I can get that last bit of dental floss you swallowed last night.”

11:53 am June, 3 doucheywallnuts said...

“Waiter there are crabs in my clam!”

11:54 am June, 3 scrotum pole said...

Results of Bobby’s attempt to stop Jenny’s explosive diarrhea, with his own version of “top kill’ seems more effective than BP’s.

11:54 am June, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“I’ll be damned, it only takes two licks to get to the center of a tootsie roll.”

11:57 am June, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Dr. Hyman Kapowski attempts to perform the world’s first anal abortion using only his wits and his teeth. Unfortunately, Stackhouse was still born. *rim shot*

11:59 am June, 3 scrotum pole said...

Dr B, did you say stillborn?

WIN!

12:00 pm June, 3 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Always abreast of the latest colonoscopy techniques, Dr. Cornholio is able to perform one anywhere, anytime.

12:01 pm June, 3 jcdouchey said...

Casting call for Godfrey Daniels’ new movie: Pacific Rimjob

12:34 pm June, 3 Vin Douchal said...

With one final grunt, Andrea’s oversized labia transfered the last wedge of lime from her vagina to her rectum then into Tony’s waiting mouth to complete the magic trick

12:35 pm June, 3 douche douchestofferson said...

Wow, Julianne Moore’s acting career really is in the crapper.

12:50 pm June, 3 Bagnonymous said...

When did Dana Delaney turn bleeth? Who knew..?

12:52 pm June, 3 Bagnonymous said...

Riiiiiiiccoooollaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

12:54 pm June, 3 Bagnonymous said...

“Hello? …hello? Echo! ….echo!”

“Now batting for Pedro Borbon… Manny Mota.”

1:11 pm June, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Doctor Tony is a known worldwide homopathic Guinea worm remover. Here he shows his specialty removing a worm from the ass of a stretchy gunt.

1:14 pm June, 3 Claude Douchenburg said...

Tony just about completes full inflation of his new life -like inflatable bleeth.

1:54 pm June, 3 DarkSock said...

As Tony giggled and bellowed “Blow all ballast tanks, dive, dive!” Vicky realized he had no idea of what she meant by “anal play”.

1:55 pm June, 3 Euripidouche said...

barista tony was experimenting with a double civet method coffee,whole green coffee beans were injested and shat by employee of the month cathy, tony would injest the beans without allowing them to air out, and they would go through him as civet 2…..

roast to just before the second crackle, grind and serve.

1:56 pm June, 3 DarkSock said...

Much to the gathering crowd’s delight, everytime Tony gathered another purring blast of Vicky’s flattus into his lungs he would then raise up and recite SpongeBob quotes in a high reedy helium voice.

1:56 pm June, 3 DarkSock said...

“POO-ROSCOPE…UP!!!”

1:58 pm June, 3 DarkSock said...

Alice already felt her knotted and spastic colon relaxing as Tony Vincini, Starfish Whisperer, worked his craft.

1:59 pm June, 3 DarkSock said...

Alice smiled, amazed at what some guys will pay to eat a PayDay bar out of her ass.

2:00 pm June, 3 DarkSock said...

“Hold still, Honey; me ‘n th’ boys is outa minnows so we figger we’d switch to worms”.

2:00 pm June, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Dingleberries: The Breakfast of Champions

2:00 pm June, 3 DarkSock said...

Lance huffed and he puffed but Shirley remained a b-cup.

2:10 pm June, 3 DarkSock said...

HER-HOLE-LAH…CORN GOOOODNESS…”

2:11 pm June, 3 DarkSock said...

Tony and Shirley learned a painful lesson, all too late, about the highly adhesive nature of Donkey Jizz.

2:32 pm June, 3 Just Me said...

Ass to mouth – you’re doing it wrong.

2:33 pm June, 3 Just Me said...

One word – Assmunch

2:53 pm June, 3 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

Kegeling – you’re doing it wrong.

2:55 pm June, 3 DarkSock said...

“I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butthole!”

2:58 pm June, 3 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

I think this is the only time I wished a hottie would take a hot steaming dump

3:00 pm June, 3 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

@DS 2:55 lol dude…you’re on fire today..no really you’re on fire.

3:10 pm June, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Tony’s first day at the anal health screening clinic was going fantastic judging by the line of patients waiting at poolside. He is shown here performing a hemorrhoidectomy during his lunch break on Mrs. Stackhouse for free. Unfortunately, it still lived.

3:58 pm June, 3 G said...

“Hey Hott, let me suck the man gravy my brah left in your ass last night…”

4:00 pm June, 3 G said...

“One…last…drop…of…Goose…in…there…”

4:02 pm June, 3 G said...

“Honestly, babe, this is how I floss using my fellow douche’s ass hair…”

4:12 pm June, 3 G said...

Tony shows Alice his technique before he auditioned for a role in “The Human Centipede”…

4:24 pm June, 3 I douche, therefore I am said...

Shooting for the 2010 US remake of The Human Centipede was going well, until an unfortunate accident involving two thirds of the starring cast saw actress Holly Veldigest overload her co-actor Mike “Biggun'” Bonehead’s oral cavity with the product of her lunchtime chili rampage.

5:01 pm June, 3 Ohio FJ said...

Cop

6:44 pm June, 3 The Fourth Horseman of the Douchepocalypse said...

Tara’s raised hand, pleading for a doctor, goes unanswered as the ass leech, or its Latin name “L.V. Palmsus Douchbagus Hirudo”, buries its proboscis deeper and deeper.

7:01 pm June, 3 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

This BEGS for a limerick per se

A douche licks some ass, oy vey!

He found a ‘nuggat’

and he kinda dug it

Causing me to vomit all day

7:04 pm June, 3 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

The Douche licked her ass in this pic

Which is making me kinda sick

But he scored a load

Which labels him a choad

And most of us would agree this is sick

7:09 pm June, 3 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

The douche has tats on his arm

Which might suggest he came from a farm

But he has a purple band

Which signifies he packs sand

So don’t sweat where he came from, no harm.

7:13 pm June, 3 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

The Bleeth stretches for the sky

But its his move that grabs my eye

How can a choad

Bite at her load

And not do her front, ‘the pie’?

7:42 pm June, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

At first, when Tony said he could suck 14 novelty drink glasses out of Maggie’s ass, no one believed him.

7:53 pm June, 3 Whoop-di-douche said...

Crimson Ted’s ass-licking lessons finally pay off.

7:55 pm June, 3 Whoop-di-douche said...

Tony the Tiger usually has a tiger in his tank, but this time it’s poop.

7:56 pm June, 3 Whoop-di-douche said...

He’s up shit lick.

10:14 pm June, 3 MrBlackwell said...

Rachel’s hemorrhoid cluster vaguely resembled the night janitor at the cannery.

3:45 am June, 4 creature said...

constipation, it’s a hell of a malady

6:30 am June, 4 DarkSock said...

“Hey! I found Waldo! I think….does he look like a miniature Gary Coleman?”

6:39 am June, 4 DarkSock said...

“NOM NOM NOM’

*Spretch!”

“GROMMM-NOM-NOM”

    *frepp-pap-pfhaff*

“YOMMNOMMOMMM”

*splutch-chutta-sputtt*……..

6:41 am June, 4 DarkSock said...
  • <—what he sees
  • 6:43 am June, 4 DarkSock said...

    “i only eat calafornia rolls wen it comes 2 sushi bcuz *fafff!*thats how i fuckin roll lol”

    6:47 am June, 4 DarkSock said...

    ^ holy shit there’s a way to stick pictures IN the threads?…. I done found a new toy…..hawt damn….

    8:38 am June, 4 Tony Ventresca said...

    G @ 3:58 – The act you describe is called “felching”.

    10:04 pm June, 6 “:!:” “:!:” said...

    This is known as a “Cincinnati Blowfish”

    😯

    3:49 pm June, 7 bigtizzle said...

    “The snozberries taste like snozberries. And asshole. Definitely some asshole in there, too…”

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