Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Dr. Jorge Mendoza Wants to Be Famous For Being a Douche

Dѓ. Jorge Mendoza writes in with an appeal for me to cast him on Season #3 of Is She Really Going Out With Him?:

————-

Make me Famous!

dude, im down for a show. u should make other shows though. EXPAND on ur creativity. Like, u could make a show about “players” and how they get women. I’m DEF down.

OK TRUE story. i JUST got back to my place from a strip club. I ALWAYS get results. Tonight i got a FREE lap dance from this fine ass hottie, we made out, she gave me her #, and she practically begged me to call her. OH, and shes not the ONLY one i gamed, but shes the only one who let me play with her p@ssy. (I’m GOOD at what I do).

although “assholes” & “douchebags” do get results (i.e. WHY is SHE going out with HIM? a cutie going out with an douche), “players” and seducers get women to practically BEG to be with them.

Trust me, they’ll give u that “look” with their eyes.

————-

It’s like a glimpse into the mind of an autistic savant. Only instead of math expertise, he smells like Axe Bodyspray and week old pizza.

# posted by douchebag1
3:31 pm June, 15 Crazed Aborigine said...

The look in HER eyes says “Get me the hell out of here!”.

3:35 pm June, 15 The Big LeBagski said...

Hey Dr. Jorge Mendoza: Wanted to give you a little heads up. You’re a douche. No need to go looking for other sites for you to fit into. You are perfect right where you are.

3:36 pm June, 15 The Know said...

We share a common bond. Everytime I go into a strip club girls are all over me too. Playa Playa!!!

3:37 pm June, 15 The Know said...

Brothels too.

3:38 pm June, 15 mr.reeve said...

Isn’t that the job of a stripper to make you feel like they want you? I am sure the number he got was real too. What a dick. Jorge you are the Chode Master Flex of the douchebags. Congrats!

3:47 pm June, 15 Vin Douchal said...

“No Brainer”, Dr. Jorge. Please sign on the line…

.

.

Are chiropractors really doctors?

3:50 pm June, 15 Turdacious said...

Hey Doc

Big time wrestling is real too

3:53 pm June, 15 Turdacious said...

“shes the only one who let me play with her p@ssy. (I’m GOOD at what I do).”

Thats not much ro brag about, All you got to do is lock um in the bathroom with a full bowl of food

4:03 pm June, 15 Anon said...

this guy…doesn’t get it.

4:29 pm June, 15 Anon 1:50 said...

So “Pastyface McPoodlehair” is a doctor?

Of what?

Oh! I know!

He’s the Loooooooooove doctor! (Rohypnol available of request).

4:39 pm June, 15 Voulez-vous doucher avec moi? said...

Hey, at least he uses the all caps function to put emphasis in the right parts. and there’s only a couple typos. This guy is looks like a veritable Robert Louis Stevenson next to Stackie.

But he still sucks huge wombat nuts.

4:39 pm June, 15 Bob the Bag Hunter said...

Dr. Jorge Mendoza and his curvy nurse Rosa specialize in bottle removal from young douchebags anal cavities.

4:42 pm June, 15 Wedgie said...

How playa is that, man. Imagine, a stripper who acts like she wants you. Genius. I bet they’ll all be doing that soon, you know, to copy you.

All the girls at the Spearmint Rhino are kicking themselves right now. “Why didn’t we think of that?”

4:44 pm June, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Paging Dr. Mendoza. Your other 10 personalities called and they don’t want you back you delusional bastard. They are going to crush some pussy on the reg and you are a cockblocker.

4:59 pm June, 15 Mr. White said...

Yeah, Mendoza, a show about “players” is one of the freshest ideas out there. That hasn’t been done 1,000 times already, so many times that the idea was used for a freakin’ CSI episode. You’re a genius.

Asshat.

4:59 pm June, 15 Turdacious said...

Hey Fuckfart

You missed the casting call for breaking bad when they all go to the strip club and blow all the money on the harem of strippers that wanted them.

5:04 pm June, 15 Ariscrotle said...

I once got kicked out of a strip club for refusing to pay a stripper for a lap dance I didn’t ask for. (I’m GOOD at what I do).

5:05 pm June, 15 Euripidouche said...

i pray to the god’s of the internet, that this story by dr. mendoza somehow makes it to stripperweb.

i wonder what the Lucite Loafered Ladies of the Adult Dance Recital would make of his claims.

5:13 pm June, 15 G said...

Funny thing was, Dr. Mendoza was fingering a tranny’s ass, not a pussy. He wouldn’t know snatch if it came up and gave him a free lap dance…

5:16 pm June, 15 Whoop-di-douche said...

Er, um, uh, chiropractors are indeed QUACKS. They think ALL disease arises from subluxation disorders of the spine. Now, that strikes a real sore NERVE with me.

Obviously MENDOZA’s spine and skull are outta whack. Meaning the brain is too.

5:18 pm June, 15 Whoop-di-douche said...

OH< and she is luscious lovely Lady in Blue and needs her brain examined, along with other up-front assets, for even considering sitting next to this choad.

5:27 pm June, 15 Wedgie said...

Her name is Fred. Sorry, but a real doctor would have known, sucka.

5:29 pm June, 15 lucious lupus john m.d., p.h.d. does not consider chiropractors to be doctors said...

the good thing about being a douchebag doctor is that the penicillin is always on hand, and roofies are just a signature away–what a great life.

but i think this guy is on to something, however, the only way to make a watchable original playaz show is if it were a real-life doctor version of “the bad lieutenant”–shooting loads of drugs, inappropriate groping and solicitations, the occasional naked dance after spiking, then of course dying in the end.

5:29 pm June, 15 Joseph and the Technicolor DoucheScrote said...

More Stackhouse and less this clown.

5:35 pm June, 15 lucious lupus john's frothy underpants senses are tingling said...

this is why i require my doctors to be older than 45 and married with kids, so that i don’t get stripper clap when i turn my head and cough. who knows where those hands have been.

5:39 pm June, 15 lucious lupus john said...

220 episodes? congratulations.

5:39 pm June, 15 P Showard Chunt said...

wait til he gets the bill from the credit card he ran the tab on, we will see how “free” it was.

he made it rain, he just didn’t know it.

6:52 pm June, 15 Mr_Iron_Hands55 said...

if axe bodyspray is for douches what deoderant do u guys use? oh or dont u use none? i guess that explains why u all stink! haha no im just jokin around no but seriously what deoderant is non douchey? let me know lol…

——————————————————————–

http://www.formspring.me/iron55

6:57 pm June, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Jorge the University of Havana just called and said they want their doctorate in cleaning toilets back.

7:10 pm June, 15 Turdacious said...

I once told a stripper i thought she was hott, I tucked a bill in her string and she said i like you, so i put another bill in her string she said i’m beginning to love you.

Man, what a night, I fell in love. her name was Mercedes no wait that was another one, her name was Porche

Went back a week later and well,,,lets just say she dumped me…the least she could do is remember my name.

good times!

7:11 pm June, 15 Mr_Iron_Hands55 said...

jay said that the kevin rudolf feat jay sean, bridman and lil wayne song ” i made it” was douchey but i didnt think so, but yeah how about this one is this song douchey? let me know ….

——————————————-

http://www.formspring.me/iron55

7:13 pm June, 15 Marmadouche said...

Is this guy some sort of chipmunk? He sure has his cheeks full of something, and his chin abbreviated for whatever effort it takes to hold that crap in there.

7:34 pm June, 15 Mr_Iron_Hands55 said...

“hi everybody! ”

“hi Dr Mendoza!”

“i made it! i got the pussy, puuusssyyy, poossayyy now let me show you how good gynaecologist iam”

7:37 pm June, 15 Mr_Iron_Hands55 said...

^ good sceneario huh? let me know what u think…

————————————

http://www.formspring.me/iron55

7:54 pm June, 15 Turdacious said...

something unrelated to this but has to do with a total fucking douchebag.

Perez Hilton!, that fucking Idiot posted a possible pornographic image of 17yr old Miley Cyrus.

I hope he did and i hope they nail that pc of shit .

Id love to see that jack ass get ass hammered by the judicial system

8:16 pm June, 15 fatness said...

I peed in a strip club once. (I’m GOOD at what I do).

8:24 pm June, 15 Mr. Biggs said...

I think Jorge is such a crative genius he should pilot his own show: “strip club playas.” Verily it is the next stage in (d)evolution from Jersey Shore.

8:25 pm June, 15 Mr. Biggs said...

Really. Bragging for hooking up with strippers? Is that what it’s takes?

9:29 pm June, 15 Steve L. said...

imagine the number of ways you can brutalize Snooki if she was male…

hey i think i just found a male version of Snooki.

9:31 pm June, 15 DarkSock said...

I Guess it was simply a matter of time before rogue scientists grafted a human larynx into a monkey’s asshole.

9:32 pm June, 15 Vin Douchal said...

@ Mr Iron Hands

.

You are a dullard. Go away.

9:45 pm June, 15 Sorta Damocles said...

The Trinity of Choad: assholes, douchebags & players, yo. Three aspects of same fuckwad.

9:48 pm June, 15 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

Dear Dr. Mendoza,

we know exactly how you feel, the same thing happens to us whenever we’re in a strip club.

Yours truly,

Andrew Jackson, Ulysses S. Grant, and Benjamin Franklin.

10:08 pm June, 15 Turdacious said...

The hot is kinda skanky, fits him perfect.

She probably gets passed around like a dollar bill at a coke party

10:32 pm June, 15 Mr_Iron_Hands55 said...

i just picked up miley cyrus from the street corner, hope she likes ghb and riding in the trunk (I’m GOOD at what I do) lol

no actually it would be funnier if i got dr mendoza and miley cyrus both locked them in the trunk of a car and waited to see what happens lol let me know what ya think…

————————————————————–

http://www.formspring.me/iron55

11:32 pm June, 15 Let Me Know What Ya Think,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, said...

Fuck off you cuntbag Mr Iron Hand!!!!!

11:37 pm June, 15 Iron Cock......... said...

Iron Hand & Lucias Lupus need to go away. Both of you suck whale cokk……….let me know what ya think…….

4:35 am June, 16 DoucheBigue said...

So.. if I understand his mail correctly, Jorge practically BEGS to be in your show? DOUCHE & PUSSY in his own words.

He’s priceless – and by priceless I mean zero, worthess.

6:17 am June, 16 Heedrix said...

There is a show about players, it’s called “Keys to the VIP” and filmed in Toronto.

6:44 am June, 16 Bag Margera said...

What’s a free lap dance to a hooker, who’s getting paid for sex later anyways? That’s just good marketing, if you ask me.

6:45 am June, 16 Bagnonymous said...

I just milked some dumbass for a week-and-a-half worth of his take-home pay. All I had to do was give him a bogus phone number, “beg” him to call me, and let him touch my crab-infested p@ssy. Then I went home and sucked off my boyfriend, who’s a DJ by the way. If you’ll escuse me now, I need to go take a sandpaper and chlorine bath now.

.

-That stripper who let Dr. Jorge Mendoza touch her cooch

6:59 am June, 16 Bag Margera said...

@iron hands 6:52

Any deodorant with advertisements the convey that they deodorize your pits is acceptable. Any deodorant with advertisements the convey that you will get pussy for applying it to yourself, is douche brand-axe. If that’s too hard for you to comprehend, please go fuck yourself.

7:12 am June, 16 chaserofthehott said...

Why do fucktards like Mr Iron Hand get on here and post stuff? It must have to do with the ever present need for attention that these DB’s have. I kind of feel sorry for them. You know like in the way you pity a dying animal, so you kill it to put it out of its misery. Only this kind of pity makes me want to kill them slowly.

.

.

.

very very slowly

.

.

.

oh and painfully

.

.

.

mmm yeah very very slowly, and very very painfully.

.

.

.

Sorry drifted off for a minute there.

7:12 am June, 16 Sr. Manuel Boozatron, D.E. said...

Jorge Mendoza is a ghoulish, pasty, booger-eating moron.

Apparently, Josef Mengele’s eugenics program has had some extremely virulent microbes escape a petri dish, and the resultant abomination is on the loose.

Dr. Mendoza, please meet me and my associate, Dr. Lecter for an urgent “consultation” appointment. For your “convenience” we’ve reserved a private room at Juarez’ city’s hottest club, “Evisce-bationz”

7:18 am June, 16 chaserofthehott said...

I hope Mr Iron Hand gets his hand caught in a furnace and decides to saw halfway through it himself before passing out from pain and loss of blood. I want this because I am willing to bet that he doesn’t have friends that will come looking for him. You can have your own daydream about the outcome.

.

.

.

Let me know what ya think 🙂

8:06 am June, 16 Wedgie said...

BTW, the correct pronunciation of this guy’s name is “whore-hay”. Speaks volumes, doesn’t it?

9:37 am June, 16 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Jorgay (dialing bogus phone number): “Let’s see it says 555-1234. (Assorted series of beeps and boops). “Yo baby, what up?”

.

Canned operator voice: “I’m sorry but the number 555-1234 does not exist. Please hang up and try your call again.”

.

Jorgay: “Oh baby. Don’t be blowin’ me off. I thought we had a good thing last night.”

.

Canned operator voice: “I’m sorry but the number 555-1234 does not exist. Please hang up and try your call again.”

.

Jorgay: “But baby I played with your pussy last night. You practically begged me to call you!”

.

Canned operator voice: “I’m sorry but the number 555-1234 does not exist. Please hang up and try your call again.”

.

Jorgay: “But baby I’m gonna be famous and shit. Remember, I’m good at what I do! Is it the money? I know it was Monopoly money but I was just tryin’ to be funny.”

.

Canned operator voice: “I’m sorry but the number 555-1234 does not exist. Please hang up and try your call again. This is your last warning.”

.

Jorgay: “Shit bitch, if that’s how it’s gonna be I’ll just get all up in Misti’s or Kandi’s pussy next time. That’ll show you ya fuckin’ skank.”

.

Real Operator voice: “You just wouldn’t let it go would you.”

.

Repeated blasts of an air horn come through the receiver causing Jorgay’s ears to start bleeding and disorienting him. He stumbles into the street in front of the flophouse, first floor “apartment” at the St. Jude Inn where he “crashes” and gets hit by a tanker truck that drags him for 3 miles before the driver “smells something funny” in his interview with the cops. Truck driver get citation and a parade thrown in his honor.

.

So how’s THAT for a good first show? Let me know because I’m a raging asshole trying to hijack a forum posting.

10:24 am June, 16 Deltus said...

He just doesn’t understand the show. It’s like when Stackhouse assured us that he would definitely win the weekly and the monthly. Um, douches? It’s like being valedictorian in special ed. Yeah you’re the winner, but you’re still retarded.

3:57 pm June, 16 Horace Dangleballs said...

On the bright side, if DB1 signed this assmunch to appear in ISRGOWH we’d know where and when he’d be filmed.

To quote Bill Cosby, “LET THE BEATINGS NOW BEGIN!”

9:32 pm June, 16 Mr_Iron_Hands55 said...

omg i got mad haters on here haha oh well its cool its how i do lol, you must be jealous o rly? but no seriously im just doin wat u all do but doin it better yet you dont like it? oh and remember i coined the let me know wat ya think catchprhase its fuckin trademarked dammit, but enjoy that catchprhase its on me let me know wat ya think about how im a winner lol…

—————————————————

http://www.formspring.me/iron55

9:40 pm June, 16 Mr_Iron_Hands55 said...

bet none of you have ever got awarded a shiny pink belt on a forum because your so cool before? oh yeah im goin to get either a celtics or pats jersey with douchebag 1 on the back let me know wat ya think…

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http://www.formspring.me/iron55

7:44 am June, 17 fatness said...

I’d rather have a slick pink pussy awarded to me, attached to a hot bod and attractive attentive face. But unlike you I’m older than 15 and actually know what is important in life (hint: it does not involve text-speak or sports jerseys). Let me know wat ya think…

11:30 am June, 17 Mr_Iron_Hands55 said...

lol im not 15 im 20 and your jealous of the award i got? yeh i think so, and nice 2 see ur using mah catchphrase i coined – “ah chugz da cockk!”. feel free to use it, but i invented it bcause im SO cash, i know whats important in life – myself haha, and dont hate because you cant afford a custom sports jersey i look like a #1 draft pick in that styelz. but as always let me know wat ya think lol…

——————————————–
http://www.formspring.me/iron55

7:27 pm June, 17 Mr_Iron_Hands55 said...

nice editing brah NOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTT!!!haha no seriously its goooood lol dont let me know wat u think bcause what i know is better then what u know end of story peace out.

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http://www.formspring.me/iron55

7:47 pm June, 17 Mr_Iron_Hands55 said...

anyway guys forget about it i have just realised that this site is for losers anyway, its too shit for me, afterall i was the champ on World extreme cage fighting forum and got awarded a pink belt for being So good, let me know when u get rid off ur dandruff and realise ur losers

————————-

http://www.fuckinshutupandeaturdandruff.com

7:53 pm June, 17 Adriatic Truzzo TV said...

do not post links! no links allowed.

I AM A TRUZZO BECAUSE…

PARRA PARRA TUNS TUNS TUNS!

4:43 am June, 22 Bill Gyrates said...

@ Iron_hands55

You have been weighed, measured and found wanting. Pink sashes are awarded by the people of MMA to what they term ‘cage fruites’. They are often lilly livered italians or french.

Now go drown your sorrows at ‘hobo bukkakefest’ Vegas

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