Friday, June 4, 2010

Friday Haiku

Choad licks, Hardy Kills.

Hark! Lynn’s marshmallow hot bod,

Like razed sideburns, waste.

Like a daddy bird

He prepares to feed her lunch…

Last night’s spaghetti

— Wedgie

UNLV Chi’s

Car Wash fundraiser seconds

as job fair for bro’s.

— Wheezer

Where is the Hand of

Collective Conscious? Please press

“Emergency Stop”

— boatbutter

Aroma of turds

Wafts through restroom stalls whereby

STD’s are spread.

— Crucial Head

Dodgers to seek new

promotion give away night.

Buy one get one choad.

— Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche

Sex in a bathroom

The ultimate adventure

For pinheads with tats

— saulgoode42

pass the olive pitt

use of hands is not allowed

hott hides one in bra

— creature

Tiny man nipples.

Even Greg Focker couldn’t

milk those little guys.

– End the Haberdouchery

# posted by douchebag1
6:59 am June, 4 The Dude said...

Devastating waste

Laid upon my eyes this day

Going back to bed

7:01 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

Masturbating ills

leads to blindness, hairy palms,

baths at car washes.

7:03 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

Shave the facial fung,

lose the tattsleeve and bad cap,

and you might be normal.

7:04 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

Temperature gauges

should be on boobies only;

he’s doin’ it wrong.

7:05 am June, 4 Bagnonymous said...

Oh God, the horrors!

Cannot take this anymore–

Push the red button.

7:05 am June, 4 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Red shorts at night is

a scary site. Red shorts at

day; he’s pro’lly gay?

7:05 am June, 4 Crucial Head said...

Aroma of turds

Wafts through restroom stalls whereby

STD’s are spread.

7:07 am June, 4 Bagnonymous said...

Broken, snapped-neck bleeth

Dude with fungus on left arm

“Kills” my Friday morn

7:07 am June, 4 Crucial Head said...

Brunette reaches for

Wrong wall – the eject button

Is right behind you.

7:08 am June, 4 Crucial Head said...

Disinterested –

Reluctant couple resorts

To sharing disease.

7:08 am June, 4 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

I like Lynn’s thrusting

stance, but I wanna get sick

from the Scrote’s limp tongue

7:08 am June, 4 Crucial Head said...

Taught nipple reminds

My boner that I shouldn’t

Walk around office.

7:09 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

High pressure car wash

cannot remove Vegas grease;

what happens there stays.

7:09 am June, 4 Bagnonymous said...

His shorts really say:

“I (heart) PILLS”– probably ones

like Valtrex® for herp.

7:11 am June, 4 Crucial Head said...

Ink on shorts betray

Message the douchebag’s spreading:

You cum, you get “ills.”

7:11 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

Is she a Saints fan?

Black ‘n gold bikini screams

for a trade with beads.

7:12 am June, 4 Bagnonymous said...

This pic reminds me

of “Twister” haiku pic from

weeks past. Don’t know why.

7:12 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

Ugh, more G-S-R!

In his case, we won’t mistake

that to mean “gun show.”

7:13 am June, 4 Crucial Head said...

Brown band on the wall

Skidmark left from this douchebag

When TP ran out.

7:13 am June, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Exchange of spit leads

to swapping Grieco virus.

Bleeth doomed forever.

7:14 am June, 4 Crucial Head said...

Brunette’s nipple points

Way to salvation for my

Turgid beef piston.

7:15 am June, 4 Crucial Head said...

Megan Fox swaps spit

With The Brian Austin Green

Hollywood implodes.

7:16 am June, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Dodgers to seek new

promotion give away night.

Buy one get one choad.

7:16 am June, 4 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Scrote’s ginormous watch

Saps all his energy. His

arm and tongue are limp.

7:16 am June, 4 Crucial Head said...

In this scene we see

Megan Fox and Brian Green

Destroy their careers.

7:17 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

Tug on her strings? Yes.

Tug on his string? No way, brah!

Tie it ’round his neck.

7:18 am June, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Is this the first pic

where douche and bleeth determine

each is pile of poo?

7:19 am June, 4 Crucial Head said...

Behind the scenes at

Tranny’s Formers II wasn’t

What you might expect.

7:19 am June, 4 Wedgie said...

Like a daddy bird

He prepares to feed her lunch…

Last night’s spaghetti

7:19 am June, 4 boatbutter said...

From behind those bars

Her boobs cry out to be free…

Incarceration!

7:22 am June, 4 boatbutter said...

Where is the Hand of

Collective Conscious? Please press

“Emergency Stop”

7:22 am June, 4 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Intermittant side

burn ‘spots’ as a new douchal

scrote signifier?

Move over chin pubes!

The search for hott attractants

Has made a dark turn.

7:23 am June, 4 Nik Richie said...

Darksock hacks comments

I could use that tongue right now

Dirty Army strong!

7:24 am June, 4 Crucial Head said...

Couple’s interest looks

As involved as Plinky’s Mom

Is in her diet.

7:24 am June, 4 boatbutter said...

Unreal Tourney tatt…

What’s on the other arm….Doom?

It’s too depressing.

7:24 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

UNLV Chi’s

Car Wash fundraiser seconds

a job fair for bro’s.

7:25 am June, 4 Crucial Head said...

Only thing more foul

Than transfer of STD’s:

The Dirty Army

7:25 am June, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Xylophone solo

won’t be played on her ribs by

choad’s small trouser trout.

7:26 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

DAMN!

.

.

.

UNLV Chi’s

Car Wash fundraiser seconds

as job fair for bro’s.

7:27 am June, 4 boatbutter said...

As gross as she is,

I must say I’m aroused by

Her Rubenesque abs.

7:28 am June, 4 Bag Margera said...

Terminal illness

gets visit from make-a-wish

foundation stripper.

7:28 am June, 4 Crucial Head said...

The speed stripe sideburns

Allow head to move quicker

While blowing his buds.

7:30 am June, 4 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Anthony Edwards

suffers career exhaustion

Goose in Goose is scrote.

7:30 am June, 4 Crucial Head said...

Douche is unaware

That brunette gives me hand job

Through the glory hole.

7:30 am June, 4 Bag Margera said...

Mutt likes to think he’s

got a cyborg arm. He Jacks

off like a machine!

7:30 am June, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Zombie bleeth seeks “bwainz.”

Starts munching on douches face.

Big disappointment.

7:33 am June, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Haz-mat crew is soon

to quarantine area

with swap of their spit.

7:33 am June, 4 Manimal said...

Amy is Redeemed

By Abdominal Cascade

To Pubis Mons

7:33 am June, 4 Horace Dangleballs said...

Bulging nipple hott

Kisses douchebag; shoves in pool

Ten pound watch drowns him.

On a side note… I have NO problem with HER GSR.

7:34 am June, 4 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Red ‘S’ on his junk

is scarlet warning for ‘Scrote’

Bleeth risks infection.

7:34 am June, 4 Bag Margera said...

The male dodo bird

will regurgitate food to

feed his baby chicks.

7:34 am June, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Douche and bleeth have cards

for free penicillin shots.

Too bad they can’t read.

7:35 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

Sir Sucks-a-Lot has

sideburns like that. This guy sucks,

too. Coincidence?

7:35 am June, 4 Crucial Head said...

These Twilight fans bend

Necks hoping for that homo

Vampire kiss of death.

7:35 am June, 4 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Boobies augmented.

And that is okay with me,

Lush navel gives wood.

.

Choad’s tongue ruins morn’.

Sleaves will ruin afternoon.

Not sure sauce will help.

.

.

-Amerigo Vesdouchey

7:35 am June, 4 uscrascal said...

amazingly hott,

bikini clad fake ta-ta’s

pitch tent in my pants.

7:37 am June, 4 Bagnonymous said...

Her G.S.R.: win!

His arm-tatt reveal: gross.

Juxtaposed nightmare.

7:37 am June, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Roofies take effect

on promiscuous bleeth.

“What’s next?” thinks dumb douche.

7:39 am June, 4 Disconnected said...

The sun sets slowly

Each Ed Hardy tongue a small step

Towards endless poo

7:41 am June, 4 Bagnonymous said...

If we saw her face,

would we still think she is hott?

Eternal question.

7:41 am June, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Her “dirty pillows”

beg for warm caress by douche.

He just gets sleepy.

7:42 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

Weekend, ass pear loom;

glad to see Haiku numbers

are back on the rise.

7:43 am June, 4 Bag Margera said...

Retard douchebag says:

“Fwah, fuh huh, ayyyyyyyyye, huh, tah, tuh

I like boobies! yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!”

7:43 am June, 4 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

What is the douchebag

saying with tat gibberish?

I read only Douche!

7:44 am June, 4 Thorax Hammersmith said...

Douche gives bleeth last kiss

Before having gangrenous

Arm amputated.

7:45 am June, 4 saulgoode42 said...

Nasty, slobbering

You’re server’s a piece of sh^%

Can’t wait anymore

7:45 am June, 4 Bag Margera said...

If I saw her face?

I don’t know, bagnonymous.

I’d still stare at boobs.

7:45 am June, 4 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Open mouth kiss douche

The smell here is palpable

Weep for the future

7:46 am June, 4 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Provocative pic

here! Her stance draws my nethers,

His limp tongue scrotes me

7:46 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

Random designs mean

scrote eats lots of Cracker Jacks;

he is peanut poo.

7:47 am June, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

How can there be no

rise from his mutton dagger

with her? Oh, that’s right.

7:47 am June, 4 Bag Margera said...

He has a techno-

organic virus. X-men

fans will get that one.

7:47 am June, 4 saulgoode42 said...

Sex in a bathroom

The ultimate adventure

For pinheads with tats

7:49 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

Free with a fill-up:

car wash, stupid knockoff cap.

I’ll buff her boobies.

.

.

.

.

What’s with my obsession with car washes, anyway?

7:50 am June, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

These two pose for the

latest Axe ad: “Ennui

will get you boobies!”

7:50 am June, 4 DarkSock's ManGravy said...

Making out? No way

Their tongues just discovered what

Donkey jizz will do.

7:51 am June, 4 Bag Margera said...

Losers first kiss is

awkward, but water park chick

is too drunk to care.

7:52 am June, 4 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

His hat looks as if

It’s been bombed by bird droppings

Nature knows he’s wrong!

7:54 am June, 4 creature said...

pass the olive pitt

use of hands is not allowed

hott hides one in bra

7:55 am June, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Pre-coffee haikus

really suck from me. I’ll do

better for next week.

7:56 am June, 4 The Fourth Horseman of the Douchepocalypse said...

Douche signs are all there.

Lynn, push Anti-Douche button!

Too late. So close. BOOBS!

7:57 am June, 4 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

From the pic bottom,

viewing that pose lifts my wood

His tongue crashes it

7:58 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

BP exec’s kid

fills the outdoor shower drain

with even more grease.

8:01 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

Fratdouche pledge Marty

gets first kiss from Amanda;

Hell Week for Woo Hotts.

8:02 am June, 4 Claude Douchenburg said...

Sore covered tounge licks

lips of hot bleeth fem fatale

Susie Chapstick, HELP!

8:03 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

Don’t stop now, you guys!

Boss has much to decide yet…..

let’s hit one hundred!

8:05 am June, 4 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Greece is now bankrupt

Greico virus has been same

‘Hellenic’ makes sense!

8:06 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

Summer approaches,

let’s get the party started;

we need a Bra!! pic!

8:07 am June, 4 creature said...

she has a hot bod

I’d use as party favor

flesh covered moonbounce

8:07 am June, 4 C.G. said...

Are there more photos?

Because I can’t see her face.

Asian?! I’m in love.

8:10 am June, 4 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Boobies! and Female GSR!

almost make me miss,

the douche in scarlet.

8:12 am June, 4 Bag Margera said...

I approve BP

references for any

disastrous douchebag.

8:13 am June, 4 End the Haberdouchery said...

Tiny man nipples.

Even Greg Focker couldn’t

milk those little guys.

8:14 am June, 4 End the Haberdouchery said...

The west coast time zone.

A killer for front page love

On haiku Fridays.

8:16 am June, 4 Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser said...

Old Blanche Deveraux

Would have rejected that douche.

Not so for this bleeth.

8:18 am June, 4 Bag Margera said...

Is this all it takes?

Hardy, bling, arm tat, beard and

any schmuck can score?

8:19 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

Ump blows perfect game,

honestly admits “bad call”;

where’s choad rejoinder?

8:20 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

Almost 100;

THAT MUTHUFUCKA awaits.

Will he come get it?

8:25 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

Wizard of Westwood

John Wooden in hospital;

I hope he pulls through.

8:27 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

Me: F-5, F-5

Wonders where regs went? F-5…..

This is one hundred.

8:29 am June, 4 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Beaker looks the same

As he did on the muppets

Only much gayer

8:30 am June, 4 Anthony LaBaglia said...

I can see her bone

Surrounded by lovely flesh

She can see my bone

8:30 am June, 4 Bagnonymous said...

Running out of jokes

Need ass pear to refresh brain

Priorities straight

8:30 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

Still no front page yet?

Boss out diddling Purg Hottie

or Veronica…..

8:31 am June, 4 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

And where is the boss

with the Glory Posts? Life has

small meaning without.

8:32 am June, 4 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Squirt on my bald head

I don’t care how your face looks

Or if you have one

8:32 am June, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Right thigh speaks to me

screaming the name of this pic

“ILLS”. That says it all

8:32 am June, 4 Wheezer said...

Edits as I post;

Haiku hot streak continues!

Boss is generous!

8:33 am June, 4 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Boss at glory hole

Wondering why lips so soft

Must be Adam Carrolla

8:34 am June, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Double groin shave

Close encounters do make

Of the poo kind

8:34 am June, 4 yahoo scrotius said...

Holly demonstrates

Bright side of groin shave reveal

Getting back at Dad

8:35 am June, 4 Anthony LaBaglia said...

EtH FTW.

“Greg, I’ve got nipples, can you milk me?”

8:36 am June, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Both hips ablaze

As douchebags we amaze

In drunken maze

What! Time to drink.

8:37 am June, 4 doucheywallnuts said...

Her body is great

God she has a great body

Her body is great

8:42 am June, 4 Tony Ventresca said...

She wears the eyepatch, snugly

Her lover made in prison, ironically

For his man

8:44 am June, 4 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

doucheywallnuts just

captured it for me. But douche

tongue still makes me sick.

8:45 am June, 4 DarkSock said...

O why must my clients
Ambush me EACH Friday morn?
Work fucks ‘Sock again
asdf

8:46 am June, 4 lucious lupus john f'n keats said...

slug writhes on flower

a poisoned gooey spooge trail

flower dies…bleething

8:48 am June, 4 DarkSock said...

Front page for DarkSock?

You must be present to win….

Or HAXXOR-KOPTURZZZ

8:50 am June, 4 DarkSock said...

At least he’s honest;

His red shorts say “Syphilis”.

She’s illiterate.

8:50 am June, 4 lucious lupus john f'n keats said...

what the f*ck is on

his arm? it looks like it was

shoved up a cow’s ass.

8:51 am June, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Dark Sock

Thanks for ruining my nooner with Mrs. Reverend Kroeger. Now I have to visit my albino mistress(hooker).

10:51 am June, 4 Whoop-di-douche said...

DarkSock is Mickey-

mousing around with haiku

Friday, cut it OUT!

10:53 am June, 4 Whoop-di-douche said...

Back on topic, douche

sex experiences hap-

pen in public stalls.

10:59 am June, 4 Deltus said...

Arm tatt Don’t lessen

Her really smokin’ body

Still, pass the vaccine

11:03 am June, 4 Whoop-di-douche said...

Tatt-arm: Vertical

expression of horizon-

tal intent in douche..

11:10 am June, 4 Whoop-di-douche said...

Genuinely hot

bods of Venus and Adon-

is kissy-fakey.

11:11 am June, 4 Whoop-di-douche said...

Parallel stripes on

curvy boobs show more than bulge

in red Ed Hardy.

11:15 am June, 4 Whoop-di-douche said...

Whatever she’s ref-

ereeing in that striped top,

more of her game NOW!

11:19 am June, 4 Whoop-di-douche said...

Never is there a

better time to be pulling

his strings than right here.

11:23 am June, 4 Whoop-di-douche said...

Rosetta Stone arm

tatts are hieroglyphic hoo-

ey next to tit-strips.

1:16 pm June, 4 tall guy said...

she’s a definite hot who i’d love to nail before she runs to seed – her upper arm and shoulder region indicate a strong possibility of this happening sooner than later – and he’s a slobbering monghead. nice watch, Douche…

1:36 pm June, 4 donkster said...

Boatbutter – that shit made me fall out of my chair.

Press the E-Stop now – for the love of god!!!!!

2:34 pm June, 4 Dicy said...

Gaah! This whole moving to a new town and starting a new job thing really cuts into my HCwDB trolling. My haikus could never live up to this hilarity anyways. Happy Friday friends 😀

Also I think my avatar isn’t working.. I can’t sign in. Boo!

2:36 pm June, 4 Dicy said...

Ah.. Nevermind. I guess I did sign in.

10:03 am June, 5 Long-time listener 1st-time caller said...

When reading these posts

I must refrain from showing

My poor haiku skills

7:50 pm June, 12 Mark Vice said...

I love it!

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