Friday, June 18, 2010

Friday Haiku

Crazed Party at Dave’s!

Blue Bandana Bros pound Schlitz,

Mack on Ralphie’s sisters.

Animal print girls:

Welcome to the monkey house.

Natty Ice in fridge.

— massengill

Front girl is guarding

her purse from the spiky pud

thieving her tampons.

— Bag Margera

Angelo wonders:

If he squeezes hard enough

Make one good person?

— saulgoode42

Like unwanted blast

Vuvuzela to ear drum

Our day is ruined

— Vin Douchal

Drunk choadwank in back

Assumes crucifixion pose

Who will oblige him?

— The Motley Douche

Axe booze and smokes

Eight guidos in stinky heat

Italy in shame

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

High school grad party

Die hards. Too bad lawn darts are

now made from plastic.

— Mr. Scrotato Head

The bros are paired off,

hair not the only “blowouts”

they’re gellin’ tonight.

— WheezerHCwDB

Thanks to DB1,

I count syllables in all

my Friday emails.

— Bagnonymous

# posted by douchebag1
7:03 am June, 18 massengill said...

Animal print girls:

Welcome to the monkey house.

Natty Ice in fridge.

7:06 am June, 18 massengill said...

Pussy with water:

Sack up and drink beer, asshole.

Deep fry a turkey.

7:06 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

Water douche is odd:

Fish lips, or holding breath?

Another convert?

7:07 am June, 18 Bagnonymous said...

Green glo-sticks abound.

Are they radioactive?

One can only hope.

7:07 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

Damn it, replace “Fish” with “Kissy”…..like I had it the first fuccen time. Grrrrr…..

7:08 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

The cigarette girl

should watch where she puts that thing;

that’s no fire crotch, eh?

7:08 am June, 18 Bagnonymous said...

Brunette quadruplets?

They’re hott, but they look the same.

Seen one, seen ’em all…

7:09 am June, 18 Bag Margera said...

When drunk bags attack,

girls huddle together and,

smile the other way.

7:10 am June, 18 Peter Ilyich Doucheovsky said...

Matching Mandanas,

Far too much animal print;

this party blows hard.

7:11 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

Quartasian cutie

maintains most distance from scrotes;

she may still get burned.

7:11 am June, 18 Bagnonymous said...

Jesus Christ-pose douche

says, “Let there be Natty Light,

…and animal prints.”

7:12 am June, 18 Bag Margera said...

Leopard print smells the

axe, puke, sweat, hair grease and poo

off of these douches.

7:12 am June, 18 Deltus said...

These Jersey guids, bleeths

Unaware of just how much

Pure fail that they ooze

7:12 am June, 18 Vin Douchal said...

A choad/hott lineup

Like Stackhouse’s best grammar

We can smell the fail

7:14 am June, 18 massengill said...

Headband guys are on

the same team, but switch between

pitcher and catcher.

7:14 am June, 18 Deltus said...

Looking douche to hott

Hotts are much higher rated

Still infected though

7:14 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

Tablecloth “dress” shirt

getting hard for blowout bro;

the ladies are beards.

7:15 am June, 18 Bag Margera said...

Front girl is guarding

her purse from the spiky pud

thieving her tampons.

7:15 am June, 18 saulgoode42 said...

King of he he sees

This trainwreck of low-rent sleeze

Water dude’s cool, though

7:15 am June, 18 Bagnonymous said...

Very tall douchewad?

Or just a low roof structure?

Either way.. it’s odd.

7:15 am June, 18 Deltus said...

Unfortunately

There’s a chance some here will breed

I weep for the future

7:16 am June, 18 saulgoode42 said...

Angelo wonders:

If he squeezes hard enough

Make one good person?

7:16 am June, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Like unwanted blast

Vuvuzela to ear drum

Our day is ruined

7:17 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

“Party at mom’s house!”

screams blue scarf mandana bro;

stole 2 beers from fridge.

7:17 am June, 18 Deltus said...

Bleeth though they may be

I bet these girls can give out

A wicked handjob

7:19 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

Deltus, I’d let ’em;

my own wrists are exhausted

from daily abuse.

7:19 am June, 18 Claude Douchenburg said...

Summer night breezes

Let the mud wrestling begin

Bring me my Falstaff

7:20 am June, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Wax rhetorical

If a choad falls in backyard

Cell photos on ‘net?

7:20 am June, 18 Bag Margera said...

Fat boy’s blow face like

Jim Belushi’s “The Zit” from

Animal House. Pop!

7:21 am June, 18 saulgoode42 said...

Henry on the right

Is thinking: spit or swallow?

Just found out he’s straight.

7:21 am June, 18 massengill said...

Tony and Vinnie

celebrate aluminum

siding install job.

7:21 am June, 18 the motley douche said...

Drunk choadwank in back

Assumes crucifixion pose

Who will oblige him?

7:22 am June, 18 massengill said...

The waterboy has

glowstick attached to gold chain.

The fuck’s up with that?

7:23 am June, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Axe booze and smokes

Eight guidos in stinky heat

Italy in shame

7:23 am June, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Giant purse stashes

Eight enormous vibrators

That they have all used

7:24 am June, 18 Bag Margera said...

Shirtless guy so drunk,

“yo chill bro, relax bro, take

it easy bro, yo”.

7:25 am June, 18 massengill said...

Conjoined headband twins

keep partying on, though one

has been dead for hours.

7:27 am June, 18 Vin Douchal said...

This looks just like

Lakers party at neighbor’s

Underaged drinking

7:27 am June, 18 Amrigo Vesdouchey said...

Large wing span in back,

Oh so proud of his douche self.

Needs kick in temple.

.

Assorted hotts roll.

The Natty Light flows freely.

Along with herpes.

.

.

-Amerigo Vesdouchey

7:28 am June, 18 Bag Margera said...

Jersey Shore 2 cast,

got too mainstream Guido so

series is cancelled!

7:29 am June, 18 Bagnonymous said...

I like sweatshirt hott–

she looks to be the brightest.

I’d pee in her purse.

7:29 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

“Yo, dis be our show!

We party hard in Newark!”

Great, more Jerz Sharts.

7:29 am June, 18 scrotum pole said...

Cheap domestic beer

Cheap aluminium siding

Yep, low-rent douchebags

7:30 am June, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Smell of dried vomit

Shirtless dude barfed on beer 2

Causes Ginny’s snarl

7:32 am June, 18 Bagnonymous said...

Tank-top douche surprised:

Bro’s fingers in his butt, hears

“I found your glow-stick!”

7:32 am June, 18 scrotum pole said...

Terrorists headbands,

Al aqsa martyr brigade,

Freakin’ Wow, just wow.

7:34 am June, 18 scrotum pole said...

Fat boy on the right,

Simply can’t wait to expel,

Mouthful of bro’s jizz

7:37 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

The bros are paired off,

hair not the only “blowouts”

they’re gellin’ tonight.

7:38 am June, 18 Bagnonymous said...

“Vuvuzela Boy”

at right; his constant farting

makes a droning buzz.

7:39 am June, 18 Bag Margera said...

I spot 2 bitch sticks,

2 glow sticks, 4 lipsticks and

four dick-less dipsticks.

7:39 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

Blue Möbius strips

have plenty of ants trying

to crawl off the edge.

7:40 am June, 18 Bagnonymous said...

Utah firing squad

reloads and aims at this bunch.

What? Is it too soon?

7:42 am June, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

High school was years ago

Parents weep for the old country

Boys and girls bend over

7:43 am June, 18 Bagnonymous said...

Tall douche stands-in for

Touchdown Jesus, assumes

proper position.

7:46 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

Post-graduation

(yes, Jerz schools let them through),

they’ve peaked; yeah, right here.

7:51 am June, 18 scrotum pole said...

Peaceful night shattered

The once-quiet trailer park,

With white trash shin-dig

7:52 am June, 18 Bagnonymous said...

Thanks to DB1,

I count syllables in all

my Friday emails.

7:52 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

“Caption This” Haiku:

Clichéd poses, blowouts, grease

offend less. Played out?

7:54 am June, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

One drunk guido? Check

Scavenger hunt high jinx done.

Next up: TPing.

7:56 am June, 18 scrotum pole said...

Leopard print dreamer,

Has the face of a lemur

I would still ream her.

7:56 am June, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

High school grad party

Die hards. Too bad lawn darts are

now made from plastic.

7:57 am June, 18 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

Science wins again

.

Headband douches die from AIDS

.

From the “lifestyle”

7:57 am June, 18 the douche is alright said...

This wasted talent

Is why the United States

sucks scrote at soccer

7:59 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

Hey Scrotato Head,

you must throw darts harder; they’ll

stick. Just keep trying.

8:01 am June, 18 Marcellus Shale,all-american power pimp said...

what if? photobombers

were given their own photo, would

the gutters pwn it?

8:03 am June, 18 Bagnonymous said...

Scrotum Pole @ 7:56am threw down the rhyming gauntlet. Thought I’d give it a try:

Brunette hand-job team,

dude in tank-top is a queen,

and green glow-sticks gleam.

8:04 am June, 18 Bagnonymous said...

^ fuccen forgot the ” . ” line space. F*ck wordpress!

8:05 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

The fabled blowout,

of style I wish they’d go out;

same with photo pout.

8:05 am June, 18 I douche, therefore I am said...

Hot cat in the wild,

tiger camo does not work,

predouchers lurking.

8:10 am June, 18 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Eight is sure enough

To cause toxic Axe cloud. One

succumbs. Fat guy spews.

8:11 am June, 18 Vin Douchal said...

We suck at soccer

Kick England’s ass in Choadwanks

We’re good for something

8:11 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

‘Hunters stop and wait

for Boss to post front page stuff,

or just Haiku lull?

8:12 am June, 18 DarkSock said...

The roof, the roof is

On fire; Kick the ladder

And burn baby burn

8:13 am June, 18 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Looks like he poses

at imitating Moses

But this just blowses.

8:13 am June, 18 DarkSock said...

Drunken teenagers,

bad music and cheap liquor:

Boise garage prom

8:13 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

Brunette with huge purse

too happy to hide in it;

must be major bleeth.

8:14 am June, 18 DarkSock said...

The vinyl siding

Wraps this tiny house – Just like

Condoms on their wangs.

8:15 am June, 18 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

His imitation

Moses tries to part Red Hotts

From the Choadwanks. Fail.

8:16 am June, 18 Bag Margera said...

Water boy’s oily,

as dainty as a doily,

friends ass is soily.

8:16 am June, 18 Turdacious said...

siamese twin still alive

hes not heavy

hes my brother

8:17 am June, 18 Bagnonymous said...

Pink bra-strap brunette:

something is up with her hair–

how large is her skull?

8:18 am June, 18 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Front row Bob’s surprised

Fat guy shoved a glow stick

where the sun don’t shine

8:18 am June, 18 DarkSock said...

Guidos try “roofies”

On their girls; Hey dumb asses

You’re doing it wrong

8:19 am June, 18 Bag Margera said...

Standing on a roof,

Drunk Scrotes knock bitches down, while

striking douche poses.

8:20 am June, 18 DarkSock said...

Glow sticks aren’t shooters

As they find out the hard way.

Rectal polyps sprout…

8:22 am June, 18 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

That’s not a big purse!

That’s a clear plastic bag of

poo! Gulf States carnage!

8:22 am June, 18 Crucial Head said...

Work stifles home page

No chance for Crucial today

Friday meetings suck.

8:23 am June, 18 Hong Kong Douchey said...

It’s not The City

It’s still Guidos in Jersey

“Lair” in Mom’s basement

8:23 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

Bros under soffit

ladies’ dads say they’ll profit:

“Keep your hands off it.”

8:26 am June, 18 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Blue Banded Douches

reenact ‘Karate Kid’

Need nad jitsu kick.

8:26 am June, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Missed haiku today

because we got a new dog.

“Bark, Bark!” says Milo.

8:27 am June, 18 Crucial Head said...

Massengill: real pic?

Giving Boatbutter a run

For our in-house stud.

.

Did I just type that?

I post real pic of me here

And I’m deported.

.

(Not really, but fuck you Arizona).

8:28 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

New pooch for Bunsen!

Wheezer wants to see some pics!

Puppy or full grown?

8:30 am June, 18 Bagnonymous said...

Another fuccen’ sweet Friday Haiku, bitches! Somebody remember to plug in Lämp, and bring on that ass pear!

.

(I might miss next week.

Wife is extremely pregnant.

Hope it’s not a douche!)

8:39 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

To Bagnonymous:

Our best wishes for baby;

won’t be douche or bleeth.

8:42 am June, 18 Bagnonymous said...

@ Wheez:

.

Probably won’t be;

but if keeps me up all night,

it’ll be “asshole.”

8:43 am June, 18 Bagnonymous said...

Whatever happens,

the li’l one will be well-versed

in mocking the douche.

8:46 am June, 18 massengill said...

Crucial, that’s my head

I didn’t participate

the last time around.

.

I appreciate

your compliment, even if

it’s kinda faggy.

8:49 am June, 18 Bagnonymous said...

All right, you homos,

Massengill and Crucial Head:

Get a hotel room!

8:52 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

THAT MUTHUFUCKA!

Is a bit too late again!

I got a hunnert!

8:54 am June, 18 Bagnonymous said...

Company picnic–

I must go feign social skills,

and drink lukewarm beer.

.

Will return later

to check out what DB1

has on tap today.

.

…And by “tap” I mean

ass pear. ..And by “ass pear” I

mean “fwappy, fwap-fwap.”

8:57 am June, 18 massengill said...

‘Zona voted to

ban the Cheesy Gordita

Crunch. Way too ethnic.

9:05 am June, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Wheezer

Milo says hello

with doggy smile and wagging

tail. Rescued from death.

http://img203.imageshack.us/i/milo1e.jpg/

9:07 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

Milo is awesome!

Good on you for the rescue –

he looks quite happy! : )

9:16 am June, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Back from Montreal

Back on the Front Page! Woo Hoo

I missed you f*ckers

9:20 am June, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Dr. BHD

.

Beautiful pooch there

And Milo is a great name

I’m sure you – SQUIRREL!!

9:25 am June, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

My Utes PAC 10 bound!

The Scrotato Head clan cheer

Suck it BYU!

9:28 am June, 18 DarkSock said...

I am gaseous

In my assious; like Clay

That is Cassius.

9:32 am June, 18 Turdacious said...

@ Mr Scrotehead

Welcome to the Pac10

USC will rule under restrictions

Go Cal bears, only thing good about beserkly

Stanford bye bye with out a runner

9:36 am June, 18 DarkSock said...

Garage jam tonite

‘Sock is down with the strep throat;

Try bourbon gargles…

.

Two of my band mates

Just got half-stacks; Look’s like ‘Sock

Stuck playin’ the bass….

.

Can’t hear myself play;

Headin’ to the music store

For full stacks, bitches

.

Garage band debtor

Burns thru kid’s school funds; oh well

Work builds character.

.

Ears squeal like raped cats;

Fuck ear protection; windmill!

*Deaf like Pete Townsend….*

9:43 am June, 18 DarkSock said...

Fire up Smoke Machines;

Break out the pen lasers, bitch –

Tonight WEENUS rawks.

9:44 am June, 18 DarkSock said...

“WEENUS’ non-sanctioned

By the other guys; looks like

We’re still “The Whiskey Shits”…

10:28 am June, 18 I R A Darth Aggie said...

As the four douchemen

of the apocolypse,

drank heavily, they dreamed

that they’d ride the four hotts hard,

and put ’em away wet.

10:43 am June, 18 Crucial Head said...

DarkSock should post link

MP3 for Whisky Shits

Need new IPod tunes.

10:46 am June, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Why do I know that

Whiskey Shits’ encore will be

peeing in a horse?

10:47 am June, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Not a song cover

But actually peeing

In a horse’s ass

10:56 am June, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Wheezer and Mr. Scrotato Head

.

Milo says “Bark Bark!”

once more which means “Thank you cool

guys who deal with my dad.”*

.

*”I’m no good with all the syllables yet. Bark bark!”

10:58 am June, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Whisky Shits cover

of “Smoke on the Water” will

be too literal?

11:22 am June, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Whiskey Shits’ cover

of “Backdoor Man” will end with

human centipede

11:45 am June, 18 WheezerHCwDB said...

Whiskey Shits’ next song,

a cover of “Brown-Eyed Girl,”

reaches number 2.

12:02 pm June, 18 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Whisky Shits cover

of White Snake’s “Slide It In”

will have horse on stage?

12:19 pm June, 18 Baron Von Goolo said...

Three boys and four girls

Mocking the new guy’s fresh corpse.

Now that’s a party.

12:25 pm June, 18 Baron Von Goolo said...

Fat teetotaler.

Stackhouse rails against the wind.

Bottled water betch.

12:30 pm June, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Whiskey Shits’ cover

of “Run for the Roses” does

Not end well at all

12:33 pm June, 18 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Whiskey Shits’ cover

Of “Wild Fire” is banned by

The SPCA

.

“Wild” – one syllable or two? I went with one.

12:37 pm June, 18 Baron Von Goolo said...

Dark hair and olive skin.

Fam’ly resemblance? Good bet.

Offspring will have gills.

12:39 pm June, 18 Baron Von Goolo said...

If that purse isn’t

Packing a sawed off shotgun,

It’s just too damn big.

12:42 pm June, 18 Baron Von Goolo said...

“Antonio Sabato Jr. meets 21 Jump Street era Johnny Depp” has too many syllables. Dammit.

1:40 pm June, 18 Whoop-di-douche said...

Touchdown Jesus has

a habit of showing up

in strangest places.

1:45 pm June, 18 Whoop-di-douche said...

Habitat for Hu-

manity cuts loose after

a house-raising, whoooooo!

1:47 pm June, 18 Whoop-di-douche said...

Construction workers

loosen up caryatids

before installing.

1:49 pm June, 18 Whoop-di-douche said...

Bob and Carol and

Ted and Alice greet Pete and

Pat and Dave and Sue.

1:56 pm June, 18 Whoop-di-douche said...

Raccoons hiding in

fascia report that workcrews

pee in their own butts.

2:09 pm June, 18 Whoop-di-douche said...

Windowpane-check-shirt

Chet up-chucks chewed chickpeas cheese

on wifebeater Chuck

2:12 pm June, 18 Whoop-di-douche said...

Five to three, Michelle O-

bama’s sleeveless style beats the

covered arms, Broheim!

2:15 pm June, 18 Whoop-di-douche said...

Canadian folk

know that LaBatt’s Poo far out-

numbers the Blue brew.

2:16 pm June, 18 Whoop-di-douche said...

P B R was once

an honored brau amongst the

youth of U S A.

2:19 pm June, 18 Whoop-di-douche said...

Douches, too must leave

the nest, and wings must be test-

ed. See Birdie Drink!

2:22 pm June, 18 Whoop-di-douche said...

First glance, her leather

purse is short wood ladder; next

glance, his wood’s at ‘er.

6:07 pm June, 19 Steve L. said...

left-most douchebag got

gang banged by his 3 buddies

while hotts watched and laughed.

6:08 pm June, 19 Steve L. said...

what a prolific

haiku day! good job hunters.

i’m always late here.

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