Friday, June 25, 2010

Friday Haiku

Vegas ‘Bag Sandwich,

One slice greasy. One moldy.

But mmm… squish filling.

illustrated man

is a print shop tragedy

hott has big fake cans

— creature

Squish filling is bleeth

But I would gnaw uponst thigh

Like famished Daschund.

— Crucial Head

Ed Hardy shirt stretched

far beyond capacity

looks like a tattoo

– Hot Buttered Poopcorn

Lepper Messiah

Gathers flock for his sermon

On STD Love.

— Crucial Head

ron darling douche on

left ,temp notta expired

for beating the sox

— Euripidouche

Samurai Scrote feigns

inked torso disguise in place

of suit and necktie.

— Whoop-di-douche

researchers have found

diabetic tattoo ink

reacts with stupid

— the ‘bag apple

I want a skull, and

A star, and flowers, nice boobs

Oh, and a clock, and…

— Mr. Scrotato Head

She should buy a new

bikini instead of just

patching the old one.

— Mr. White

Just because your friend

is horrid, doesn’t downplay

your bag hand gesture.

– Bag Margera

Mole tatt in black hair

quite realistic: skull choad

should avoid the sun.

— WheezerHCwDB

The clock on naval

Says its time to get a life

Still putting it off

— Vin Douchal

Even though he’s dead

Sinatra would have him killed

For wearing that hat

— Snoop Douchey Douche

# posted by douchebag1
10:00 pm June, 24 creature said...

illustrated man

is a print shop tragedy

hott has big fake cans

10:42 pm June, 24 creature said...

his explanation

toilet paper of Titans

they must have wiped twice

11:37 pm June, 24 Crucial Head said...

Tatt douche body-slammed

Sunday Times comics section

…How ‘Bags read these days.

11:38 pm June, 24 Crucial Head said...

Chode on the left thinks:

“I’m douchie, but IT job

Is still safe next day.”

11:40 pm June, 24 Crucial Head said...

I like those boobies

Did I say I like those boobs?

Boobs… boobies… Bosoms.

11:41 pm June, 24 Crucial Head said...

Yin and Yang of douche

One douche can never go back

The other has hope.

11:42 pm June, 24 Crucial Head said...

Tatted douche thinks, “Wow

I’m so hard core… no one else

Has tats”… wah, wah, waaaaaahhhh.

11:44 pm June, 24 Crucial Head said...

My four-year-old has

More skill than ‘bags tatt artist

Looks like burn victim.

11:46 pm June, 24 Whoop-di-douche said...

Left says “two in the

pink,” she says “one in the stink,”

right says “Poo in ink.”

11:47 pm June, 24 Crucial Head said...

Me an’ Creatch tonight

Haiku’n like mu’fuckers

Boss best not delete.

11:48 pm June, 24 Crucial Head said...

And Whoop-Di too! Sweet.

More than two witnesses to

Modern miracle.

11:50 pm June, 24 Crucial Head said...

If Boss deletes these

I’ll bitch and moan tomorrow

Then praise the Ass Pear.

11:51 pm June, 24 Crucial Head said...

@Boss,

Just roll these over

Tomorrow morning and let

All else take their aim.

11:53 pm June, 24 Crucial Head said...

Squish filling is bleeth

But I would gnaw uponst thigh

Like famished Daschund.

11:56 pm June, 24 Crucial Head said...

Hand signal’s Mors Code

For: “Two hundred twenty three”

Diseases they bear.

11:56 pm June, 24 Euripidouche said...

ron darling douche on

left ,temp notta expired

for beating the sox

11:57 pm June, 24 Whoop-di-douche said...

Pink and blue icing

on blonde cupcake lures the flies,

both cattle and fruit.

11:57 pm June, 24 Euripidouche said...

buffalo beast thinks

this is the best post ever

may even join in

12:04 am June, 25 Whoop-di-douche said...

Her Bikini tri-

angles are like the famous

Atoll: very blown up..

12:06 am June, 25 Whoop-di-douche said...

Buffalo Girls, won’t

you come out tonight and mock

with Buffalo Beast?

12:06 am June, 25 Crucial Head said...

Anyone else drunk?

I have imbibed my fair share

Ready to mass fwap.

12:08 am June, 25 Whoop-di-douche said...

Samurai Scrote feigns

inked torso disguise in place

of suit and necktie.

12:10 am June, 25 Crucial Head said...

Mr. White’s wiener

Stands erect in the back ground

Ready to dispense.

12:12 am June, 25 Crucial Head said...

One in this trio

Has leprosy… who is it?

I know… hard question.

12:13 am June, 25 Crucial Head said...

Lepper Messiah

Gathers flock for his sermon

On STD Love.

12:15 am June, 25 Crucial Head said...

I think alcohol

Has finally rendered me

Useless… g’night all.

12:28 am June, 25 Whoop-di-douche said...

More like In ‘n Out

burger: ask for animal,

get the works, gobble.

12:41 am June, 25 Whoop-di-douche said...

‘Vegas: Where Baby-

lon’s sins and Egypt’s Roset-

ta stone tatts unite.

6:45 am June, 25 the 'bag apple said...

researchers have found

diabetic tattoo ink

reacts with stupid

6:50 am June, 25 the 'bag apple said...

slick pool pimp by day

Susan would never suspect

he cleans Gulf nightly

6:54 am June, 25 the 'bag apple said...

Mario Lopez

and Miss South Carolina

uncomfortable

7:12 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Lo, Friday Haiku!

It’s “Take Your Dog To Work Day

R.I.P. Farrah

7:13 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

I’m very confused

Friday Haiku on Thursday?

Blogger lookin’ good…..

7:15 am June, 25 douchebag1 said...

Whoopsie, sorry team.

Hung over on the Mad Dog,

Fixed it. Now HoHos.

7:15 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Wow, that threw me off!

WordPress cranked on X, blow, Axe?

Or just PBR?

7:15 am June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I want a skull, and

A star, and flowers, nice boobs

Oh, and a clock, and…

7:16 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Two count two boobies

Tatt choad counts three and a half?

New math is tricky.

7:18 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Scrolling after work

would’ve had me here last night

and I’d have missed sleep.

7:20 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Croosh and creatch asleep?

Haiku midnight shift is tough.

Differential pay?

7:21 am June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Married in Vegas

Jake said where I go Chaz goes

Divorced in Vegas

7:21 am June, 25 Bagnonymous said...

Boy, that’s fuccen weird!

Where did all these posts come from?

E.S.P. ‘hunters.

7:21 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Mario Lopez,

Tara Reid, Travis Barker.

No one would miss them.

7:22 am June, 25 Mr. White said...

Silly Putty douche

was left in a dumpster of

old Sunday comics.

7:23 am June, 25 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Asswipe on the right

is like comics page gone bad.

Douchebert or Poosbury?

7:23 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Rare-ass blue nipples,

holy aqua triangle,

No, they’re not his tatts.

7:24 am June, 25 Bagnonymous said...

Bleeth with hairy arm

She’s Stage-1 redeemable

I’ll be her mentor

7:24 am June, 25 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Premature rollout?

WTF with ten pm

posts? Crucial cleans up.

7:25 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Boss, new idea?

Expanded front page winners:

Late shift and day shift.

7:26 am June, 25 Bagnonymous said...

One could only wish

tattoo ink was poisonous.

Oh, if it were true..!

7:28 am June, 25 Vin Douchal said...

Chuey, Pam, Beezer

Bring the bad breath and beer farts

July 4th picnic

7:28 am June, 25 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Douche has Cadillac

Tat above his junk? Truly

a Cad who Lacks, yes?

7:29 am June, 25 Bagnonymous said...

Brown-skinned poolside douche

Already the color “poo”

Nipple creeps me out

7:29 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Mick Jagger skull tatt

eating message on belly,

makes this grown man cry.

7:30 am June, 25 Vin Douchal said...

BP oil mongers

Pound their fists in jealousy

At not drilling Pam

7:30 am June, 25 Mr. White said...

She should buy a new

bikini instead of just

patching the old one.

7:31 am June, 25 Mr. White said...

Not surprisingly:

Those are not tatts–just bruising

from deserved beatings.

7:33 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Seven thirty-one

sees Mr. White for the win –

I laughed my ass off.

7:33 am June, 25 Bag Margera said...

When you don’t get sun,

hardy tatts will not cover

your pasty whiteness.

7:33 am June, 25 Vin Douchal said...

The clock on naval

Says its time to get a life

Still putting it off

7:35 am June, 25 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Belly button clock

says five to three. These are

odds that he is gay.

7:35 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Let’s tattoo his face

with a two-by-four. I hate

wasted space, you know.

7:36 am June, 25 Bag Margera said...

Just because your friend

is horrid, doesn’t downplay

your bag hand gesture.

7:37 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Twilight of culture…..

let’s drive a stake through his heart;

sun isn’t working.

7:39 am June, 25 Vin Douchal said...

Somewhere on that chest

Secret map to Pam’s coochie

Chuey found it twice

7:39 am June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

They were young, in love

Went wild in Vegas. Now

Cry themselves to sleep

7:40 am June, 25 Bagnonymous said...

I don’t know what’s worse:

Vid of girl shitting in tub

or this goddamn mess.

7:40 am June, 25 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Trying to read this

douche incites dyslexia

I’m getting nauseous.

7:40 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Mole tatt in black hair

quite realistic: skull choad

should avoid the sun.

7:41 am June, 25 Vin Douchal said...

Vegas convention

Tow truck drivers of I.E.

Can’t afford blond ‘ho

7:43 am June, 25 Hot Buttered Poopcorn said...

Ed Hardy shirt stretched

far beyond capacity

looks like a tattoo

7:43 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Left to right: some dude,

blonde boobie hott, and last but

least, Friday Asshole

7:44 am June, 25 chaserofthehott said...

bodacious tities

I want to touch and squeeze them

can’t wait for ass pear!

7:44 am June, 25 Hot Buttered Poopcorn said...

Pink bikini stretched

in an outward direction

makes my pants stretch too

7:46 am June, 25 Hot Buttered Poopcorn said...

rock paper scissors

taught Raoul a nice lesson

scissors cuts pink top

7:47 am June, 25 Bagnonymous said...

Random scribblings

I’ve seen better “art” on a

3-year-old’s fridge door.

7:47 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Groin shave tatt reveal

welcome nowhere: I champion

strong elastic bands.

7:47 am June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

When he sunburns and

Blisters, Chad and Kate will have

Wallpaper for den

7:49 am June, 25 Hot Buttered Poopcorn said...

if one can stare hard

at the douche with the tattoos

Plinky’s mom appears

7:49 am June, 25 Bagnonymous said...

Tatt-bag lost the tip

of index finger in bleeth’s

voracious cooter.

7:50 am June, 25 Bag Margera said...

Massive mountains of

mammary make most mono

eyed monsters emerge.

7:52 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Alliteration:

nice twist to Friday Haiku.

Kudos to Bag M.

7:55 am June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Don’t hate on the hott

Like you don’t want to be mashed

between two big boobs

7:55 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Card suits on fingers,

Tatt Joker short of full deck.

I want to poke her.

7:56 am June, 25 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Glorious boobies.

T. Reid hott soothes hangover.

Tat douche brings it back.

.

Sumir cutting loose.

Indian girls don’t put out.

But skanks put out herp.

.

.

-Amerigo Vesdouchey

7:58 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

We play finger game;

left two go for scissors, I

take rock to scrote’s head.

7:59 am June, 25 Bag Margera said...

A sign of the times:

Our symbolic peace sign turned

for meaningless pose.

7:59 am June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Bronze boobs bounce between

Baked boner and Bruise Brother

Blue Beaver? Bonus!

.

Take that Bag Margera!

8:00 am June, 25 Hot Buttered Poopcorn said...

Rarely photographed,

Crucial Head’s coloring book

is shown wearing hat.

8:00 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Tatt says “Born 2 Clapp”?

That’s truth in advertising,

but aren’t shots cheaper?

8:03 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Almost 100;

head start should’ve had us there,

but we will make it.

8:04 am June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Pool side bar goes green

No more menus, just order

From list on his ass

8:05 am June, 25 Snoop Douchey Douche said...

My torso canvas

A kaleidoscope of poo

Because I can’t tan

8:07 am June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Human Shrinky Dinks

In 10 minutes they’ll be poo

He’ll be a lamp shade

8:07 am June, 25 Bag Margera said...

Scissor fingers were

used to cut bags finger and dick,

the last of bare skin.

8:10 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Porsche logo on gunt?

I don’t want to look too close;

please keep rag top closed.

8:11 am June, 25 Snoop Douchey Douche said...

Wish tattoo needles

Would clip both my optic nerves

I can’t watch that tool

8:11 am June, 25 Bagnonymous said...

Scott Weiland crashes

couples’s non-skanky photo,

makes it much, much worse.

8:12 am June, 25 Bag Margera said...

Crusty crud condemns

cousins concerning caress

of curvaceous cans.

Your move Scrotato.

8:12 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Collar tatt hidden

by neck shadow; it may read:

“Choad 4 life.” It’s true.

8:13 am June, 25 Snoop Douchey Douche said...

Even though he’s dead

Sinatra would have him killed

For wearing that hat

8:13 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

THAT MUTHUFUCKA

asleep again today, huh?

Sorry, amigo.

8:15 am June, 25 Bagnonymous said...

Tilted camera

yet another cliché trick.

This photo still sucks.

8:18 am June, 25 creature said...

got head start last night

Boss gave us Westies a shot

head hurts from whiskey!

8:19 am June, 25 Bagnonymous said...

There should really be

much more chest hair in this pic

than we’re seeing now.

8:20 am June, 25 WheezerHCwDB said...

Croosh got two on front!

One for each boobie; night shift

work pays dividends.

8:24 am June, 25 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Ms Pink Bolt-Ons sweats

Sal the Guido demonstrates

his finger-bang technique

Tattoo-Splatter Choad

hovers near silicon sweater-meat

Jerz Guid grins like Ape

8:26 am June, 25 creature said...

walking map of Choad

sucks out the creamy filling

of mushroom topped pole

8:32 am June, 25 End the Haberdouchery said...

Pic tells a story

This skank can turn normal guy

To scrawny poo sack

8:34 am June, 25 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Blues Brohiem,

wear Ed Hardy shirt,

looks strangely out of place,

at the pool.

Boobies!

8:35 am June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Turbo-topped Tonya

Tortures two turds, time tic-tocs

on tatted tummy

.

Who cares about work deadlines!

Hows that Margera?

8:35 am June, 25 Crucial Head said...

Head is spinning

Seeing two posts on Front Page

Blunts my hang over.

8:37 am June, 25 Crucial Head said...

Rare gaff by the Boss

Coupled with mass alcohol

Brings me victory!

8:39 am June, 25 Bagnonymous said...

Crucial’s double post

means he buys a round of drinks.

Make mine a double.

8:52 am June, 25 Bagnonymous said...

Boss puts up his picks

Baghunters drop off planet

Where’d everyone go?

8:54 am June, 25 Bag Margera said...

Little Loni’s large

lively lumps luring loathsome

lice-lousy locals.

.

I need to go to lunch, but afterwards I can do this till we run out of letters.

9:04 am June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Scrotes sandwich sexy

Sarah. Syphilis soon shall

soil souls, swimsuits

.

Scrotato swings, swishes, sweats.

9:05 am June, 25 DarkSock said...

Well shit…

9:06 am June, 25 DarkSock said...

I will gut Ink Douche;

Melon-ball his insides out,

My Hardy Condom.

9:15 am June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

DarkSock arrives late

Laments his commitment to

Job and family

10:30 am June, 25 Voulez-vous doucher avec moi? said...

Green-eyed turbaned skull

appears to be throwing up

all over this clown

10:43 am June, 25 Bag Margera said...

Does Daisy do duds?

Disgusting. Don’t dare defend

dipshit’s dick drawings.

10:50 am June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Vegas Viagra

Vagrants Violate Vicky’s

Vapid vagina

11:04 am June, 25 Bag Margera said...

Zack’s zodiac zits

zooms zoroastrian zoo.

Zombified zeitgeist.

.

Check and mate.

11:07 am June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I dont’ even know what that means.

.

Pam’s perky pom poms

Produce petit packages

Poolside pride plummets

.

VAGBLAM!

11:16 am June, 25 Bag Margera said...

Sexy slut sporting

splendid supple suck soothers

sees scrotes surround sides.

11:18 am June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Quadriplegics queue

Quarry quality queef queen

Quixotic quahog

11:28 am June, 25 Bag Margera said...

Jumbo jelly jug’s

juicy jiggle, justify

jubilant jerking.

11:31 am June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Tatts testify to

Tool’s transformation towards

Total taint tickler

11:41 am June, 25 Bag Margera said...

Wretched writings were

warning: weak wanker won’t work,

wears welfare wardrobe.

11:44 am June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Walrus wieners wilt

When Wendy’s weathered whoppers

Wobble woodenly

11:52 am June, 25 Bag Margera said...

Girl’s gorgeous gourmet

gozangas gather greasy

guidos, getting grabs.

11:54 am June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Unclean usurpers

Unite, Utilize urine,

Unplug uranus

12:01 pm June, 25 Bag Margera said...

Fugly foreskin fags

flock forward for fine females

fake floppy funbags.

12:02 pm June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Fabulous fakies!

Fungus friends freely fondle

Frontal fabric folds

12:08 pm June, 25 Doucheblaster said...

Wtf is that? toad!

i love the boobies but

I hate the douchebags

12:10 pm June, 25 Bag Margera said...

Amy’s apples are

ample and awesome, although

assholes ambush air.

12:19 pm June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

X-rated Xena

Xyloid xeriscaping

Xanax Xanadu

12:20 pm June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Wow. That one actually hurt.

.

Peroxide Patty

Pets preferred partner. Putrid

Punk pouts, poses, poops pants

12:36 pm June, 25 Bag Margera said...

Calling it a day.

Well done Mr. Scrotato.

Worthy opponent.

12:40 pm June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

You too Margera

Friday Haiku is epic

Three more on the bench…

.

Hairless Homos host

Helpless hotty, her holy

Handfuls hardly hang

.

.

Gina’s golden gunt

Gives gorillas grotesque groin

Grape giantitus

.

.

Sue showed shaved stool star.

Suggested sweet sodomy.

Steve’s schtupper shriveled.

12:45 pm June, 25 Bag Margera said...

“Vegas Viagra

Vagrants” still making me laugh.

Perfect douche band name.

1:02 pm June, 25 Crucial Head said...

Well played, boys… well played.

3:22 pm June, 25 Steve L. said...

if you drink bleach by

accident, stare at this pic.

all will be balanced.

3:25 pm June, 25 Steve L. said...

punctual haiku!

i’m crying salty fuccen

tears of boobie joy.

(i counted 3 syllables in “punctual”, not sure if it’s right)

8:24 pm June, 25 Didjeridouche said...

Scrawny tattooed man

You’d make a better lampshade

Where’s my skinning knife?

10:16 am June, 26 the 'bag apple said...

Excellent work Bag and Scrotato, vapid vagina and jubilant jerking… bwahahaha

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