Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Hoverbag Tim

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times.

If you interrupt a moment of spontaneous sapphos breaking out in front of a camera by either grinning, gesturing or “woo”ing, you are an autodouche.

There are no exceptions.

It doesn’t matter what else you’ve done in your life. You could volunteer for Greenpeace, the United Way, give blood every six weeks and clean oil off pelicans on weekends, you are still an autodouche.

No one cares about you, Tim, or your chin fung. Get out of the picture.

# posted by douchebag1
1:10 pm June, 15 Bag Margera said...

I’m in 100% agreement.

1:12 pm June, 15 Bagnonymous said...

Fifteen will get you thirty. And in Tim’s case, fifteen plus fifteen will get you sixty, plus a visit from Chris Hansen.

1:18 pm June, 15 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Ah. It seems it’s been a while since a card-carrying hoverbag (dis)graced the site.

.

Fuck you, hoverbag, and I can see your douchey-T.

1:21 pm June, 15 Bag Margera said...

What the fuck are you smiling about Tim? You’re not getting any action. The girls don’t even notice your presence. The camera guy never intended you to be in this shot, but because you slithered in there he had to add you whole head. If he cut it off, it would look like these two were being attacked by a hairy chin mould monster. And because your head is such a waste of photographic headroom, the bodies have been needlessly cut off. Photogenic failure. And for what Tim? So you can find this pic on Facebook, and tag yourself? Show your friends that your social life involves girls who would rather make out with each other, than you? You suck rooster cock tim. You’re a double cocksucker!

1:33 pm June, 15 Bag Margera said...

You suck-diddiliy-uck Tim!

1:36 pm June, 15 Crucial Head said...

I reckon most ‘bags that hover over the sacred saphic-lip-suckle-tongue-lickle to an unfortunate instance many moons ago: I sat at Ruth’s Chris, poised like an angler fish awaiting a school of oblivious mackerel, as the waiter brought me my prized order. Only, imagine the horror on my face when, instead of the garlic butter-sauced filet, I was instead served a fetal calf, still in its amniotic sac and preserved with dry ice.

.

Yes.

.

That’s what this hoverbag reminds me of.

2:01 pm June, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

They aren’t really kissing until one of ’em gets her fingers up the other one’s pussy. Just sayin’.

2:01 pm June, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

In medieval times Hoverbags would be burned at the stake. In 2010 we can just mock them…how sad.

2:05 pm June, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Amerigo Vesdouchey

“I can see your douchey-T.”

You forgot to mention his douchey earring

2:08 pm June, 15 Deltus said...

I’m with Medusa on this one. Let’s get to fingering!

Oh, and I would let my crotch be scratched by angry, feral kittens for a good 5 minutes for the opportunity to kick Hoverbag Tim square in the face suchwise that he lost teeth from the endeavor.

2:20 pm June, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

As the self-appointed spiritual advisor to the mockers on this blog, I have three sermons.

1. We love Lesbians.

2. I am getting a young chicks kissing with taut young bodies boner.

3. This guy is an idiot and all the above statements are correct.

2:26 pm June, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And let’s get to the fingering, nay, mutual labial suckling. Perhaps some scissoring. Damn you DB1.

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

2:27 pm June, 15 Wedgie said...

Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it!

2:46 pm June, 15 G said...

Makes more sense to call him Hooverbag – he’s smiling at the guy with the camera looking to suck him like a golf ball through a garden hose…the chin fung would tickle the cameraman’s sack…but, I digress…

As long as the hotts don’t do a reacharound on Hoverbag as they get more passionate, they are a pass.

2:55 pm June, 15 Claude Douchenburg said...

What a douche I would have my hands under the arms and grasping the goods.

2:56 pm June, 15 G said...

@Medusa…

Its not the fingering I am waiting for – I think the smile on Tim’s face is because of the double-headed dildo he has up his ass for safe-keeping before the gals need it later on…

Tim, best you are going to do is 2 girls 1 cap…

3:13 pm June, 15 doucheous lupus kahn can do his own photoshoping said...

the camera guy could have easily cropped out his head, or lowered the camera to focus on the two chicks like i am now doing with the scroll bar.

all you see is something that looks like a chin. ahhh, young women in love. tres magnifique.

4:31 pm June, 15 Anon 1:50 said...

He paid for that shot.

$100 each for the girls and $50 for the photog.

It is is one and only claim to something like human contact in this lifetime.

Sad.

5:35 pm June, 15 Euripidouche said...

when i look up from your thighs

i can see your boobs restrained

and darlin when i stalk you

i know it wasn’t you that complained

college lezzin aren’t forever

and we both know cock is on the brain.

its so hard to hold a camera

in the cold november rain.

i’ve been outside for a long long time

peeking through the panes

yeah

douches always comin

choads are always blowing

no one is really secure

so it lezzin out today.

lappin away today.

it might take up all my time

but it won’t be a crime

knowing you’ll be mine

chained up in my bed

knowing that you are mine, all mine

i know you want to love me

and the police will not detain

so i’ll just end up stalking

in the cold november rain.

6:47 pm June, 15 Whoop-di-douche said...

Oh, fer chrissakes, hoverbag’s got his hands grasping their upper arms and is bringin’ them close together for the sapphic smacker, while the one on the right is fingerin’ herself.

Idiotic doltish boogering, it’s like two cats being intro’d to each other by a retarded breeder. He didn’t know it was two queens he had there instead of a tom and a pussy.

8:09 pm June, 15 Douchie Howser M.D. said...

@ Medusa, 2:01

Are you saying that women photographed in lesbo-like liplock while being groped by an albino-bag are NOT universally genuinely turned-on?!

9:36 pm June, 15 Steve L. said...

the only reason anyone ever volunteers for Greenpeace is for the chance to be bussed away in a police wagon with some of the hottest female troublemakers in the world. can you say the same about United Way? i think not.

.

wait are we talking about Hoverbag Tim? i thought this guy only appears at pro-Hamas rallies?

9:49 pm June, 15 Jimmy said...

If there are two chicks making out in front of you it is your duty to ogle. If you don’t ogle then you are a douche

10:24 pm June, 15 abdouchah the butcher said...

This pukeface ruined a really nice shot. Turd.

1:03 am June, 16 Baleen said...

Why don’t we drop this fuccer off in the remote mountains of Afghanistan with a suitcase full of fresh graphic tees and a bottle of Figi water.

6:29 am June, 16 Bag Margera said...

@ Medusa

For all we know, they could be fingering. If Tim wasn’t there taking up so much headroom, we’d know for sure.

10:13 am June, 16 DarkSock said...

This photo looks like the moon of Uranus rising over the Sirens of Titan.

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