Saturday, June 26, 2010

Jimmy Lets Loose!

Yo go, Jimmy!! You so crazy!!

And while we’re at it, Go Team USA!!

Okay fine, none of us care about soccer.

But we do care about Brazilian Soccer Pear.

# posted by douchebag1
12:44 pm June, 26 scaradouche said...

That isn’t a self-satisfied douchesmirk by any stretch. That’s clearly a “Yes, I know I look ridiculous in this absurd get up, but Jenny rummaged through every closet in the house to find the jacket and tie and my only crime is owning a lime green baseball cap so take the damn picture mom sheepish grin.” The things a guy will do to cheer up his little sister when he comes home from college for the weekend. Notta.

12:54 pm June, 26 Dicy said...

I have that little blanket she’s laying on! And a bathing suit a lot like that. We probs bought it from the same beach vendor. Oooh to go back to Rio. So much ass pear 😀

12:55 pm June, 26 robyn said...

i dont think he fits into the douchebag category yet…maybe in a couple years…gonna have to go with nottadouche

the brazilian pear is phenomenal btw

12:58 pm June, 26 creature said...

looks like a mannequin… if so I can hack it to pieces w/a hatchet & toss it in the wood chippah

1:38 pm June, 26 Steve L. said...

Jimmy lets loose in an art museum!

because he knows that everyone will just look at him funny and not do a damn thing about it.

stupid museum goers and their politeness shit.

1:42 pm June, 26 Steve L. said...

on the bright side, go Saturday Brazil Soccer Pear!

1:59 pm June, 26 Douche Unto Others said...

Whoa… perhaps the best pear DB1 has posted to date. Obrigado.

2:17 pm June, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Before I prepare my Sunday sermon I must confess that:

It is 5:06 and I am too drunk to cook.

I don’t often use the N-word.

The Ghana soccer team are a bunch of cheating fuccking N-words.

I feel like I have been ear-raped by 10,000 vevuzuli after watching a whole soccer game for the first time hoping my American neighbors could gloat about getting into the final 8 to piss off the Eurobags.

I would fucle Brazilian Soccer Pear with my Jesus sized Cocck.

Finally God Bless America and God Fuuck the Queen the old, urine-smelling welfare case, who visits as soon as your President eludes all the G-20 Hipsterbag commie protesters.

2:27 pm June, 26 Whoop-di-douche said...

A rare appearance by Color Splash Douche from HGTV’s fun design show does not go unnoticed by a squealing fan.

2:33 pm June, 26 Wheezer said...

Well, Team USA is now Ghana from World Cup play.

.

But more Brazilian soccer pear is always welcome!

2:33 pm June, 26 Whoop-di-douche said...

Americans have a full plate without adding soccer to the athletiic events mix, but there is always room for a game of poke ‘er with Brazilian Soccer Pear, utilizing a Texas Hold “em maneuver, with a little “Remember the Alamo!” whoop at the end.

2:36 pm June, 26 pshowardchunt said...

congrats jimmy you must have a double jointed tongue, a huge cock, or rich parents who don’t care how much money you spend, because they can’t be there in person to actually give a shit that you are becoming a bit of a choad…now don’t get me wrong, i only make those assumptions because passive agressive reese witherspoon with the proactive solution and the one notch below megahott looks, has decided to make you unfuckable in the eyes of all the other girls..,.they think you are too goofy to bang now, and its her plan. that doesn’t let you off the hook jimmy, girls do that if you let them, its biology, marking territory per a deep biological programming.

see heres the thing jimmy, why does your dad, bang all the new associate’s wives, because he can, and to put the women on notice jimmy…we will fuck anything that moves,as nature intended, its why boys your age treat girls like shit jimmy. because they are always on the look out for the next piece…like nature intended…they don’t want the rest of the girls to think he is a puss, then they become no challenge at all, nothing to tame and make theirs….

so no matter how much you side with mom, you have to treat little reese like the walleyed 5 head who is lucky to have you that she thinks she is, for your dick jimmy, she will take that if she can, and turn you into a complete poorly tatted up blinged out, spiked frosted douche trying to refuck your steps back to where it went wrong, with girls who soon will be way too young for you jimmy…

if she turns you into a douche, its still on you, be a man, live a little, flirt with girls in front of her, let her know she doesn’t own you, because the looks of things here , she does…and she aint even paying property tax.

2:54 pm June, 26 doucheywallnuts said...

Just as disturbing, in an understated way, is the dude on the left wearing khakis, a plaid shirt and dark suspenders.

And despite appearances, this must be a pretty high-end gallery, as James Gadolfini is in attendance wearing a snappy driving cap.

4:01 pm June, 26 Deltus said...

Brazil really, really knows it’s pear, doesn’t it?

5:44 pm June, 26 Hot Buttered Poopcorn said...

I can only assume that my fellow Torontonians Troy Tempest and Bag Margera are out burning police cars today since they have yet to chime in on this exquisite Saturday Pear.

5:45 pm June, 26 Hot Buttered Poopcorn said...

By the way: Notta… Hott and Douche.

The BSP makes up for it though.

6:50 pm June, 26 elgin bail her said...

If you only use the N word “not often”… You may be a douche.

Like only having butthole sex with a man “not often” makes you less gay.

7:03 pm June, 26 Hot Buttered Poopcorn said...

^^^ agreed.

Racism is douchey.

7:19 pm June, 26 Turdacious said...

i can not comment on true tards and shes not hot

7:51 pm June, 26 Troy Tempest said...

Well, I had the good sense to stay home today. Why? Because I’m afraid of Big Mean Cops who are the brute force jack booted foot on the neck of the working classes? No. Because I’m afraid of getting tear gassed and beaten for depriving the insurance companies of thousands of dollars by smashing windows? No. Because I’m afraid of the scum sucking tourdes running this cruel hypocritical hoax of a meeting? No.

I stayed home because I had a nice bottle of Cuban Rum in the Fridgerdator and it was fucking pouring buckets of rain all afternoon, and I hadn’t done my latest checking of unfindable records on chewbone. Frankly, clicking on an endless collection of blog links struck me as an infinitely more useful occupation of my time than going downtown getting completely soaked (which always sucks), making a huge mess (which is always desirable) and then getting the shit kicked out of me by the local constabulary as they defend the ruling classes from the will of the people they murder and exploit (which is never fun). Trying to find mp3 versions of ancient vinyl records online is a lot more exciting, in my humble opinion.

Now, I have to get back to my searches. Next up:

The East Is Red, a 4 record set of a pageant and opera sung by 3000 workers, peasants, and members of the Chinese Red Army from 1969. You haven’t lived until you hear 3000 desperately out of tune peasants, workers, and soldiers yelp the Internationale at the tops of their wormy little lungs. In Chinese. Yep. Clears a party in seconds flat. Amazing. I used to use it as roach repellant when I lived in DC. Second only to boric acid in effectiveness, and when used in combination, it guaranteed a roach free tenement, and eternal fear from the neighbours.

“hey Paco – the weird guy down the hall plays that fuckin’ nutty chinese music and the roaches flee. Check it out. that’s some scary fuckin’ mojo, Paco. Let’s avoid him…”

8:29 pm June, 26 Hotspur said...

What a lovely little treat on this raining afternoon in southern ontario thanks DB1

8:40 pm June, 26 Michael said...

@Hot Buttered Poopcorn,

/

Yes. I have been lurking a long time, and used to comment more here. There are some extremely funny and talented people who comment here and Jay Louis has created this eclectic environment. Still love the site. However, there are times when people need to pause and THINK before they post a comment. We all make stupid statements from time to time, so I am willing to cut some slack to most people. But does EVERY other comment have to be about how a douchebag is gay? Is being gay THAT derogatory these days?? At some point, calling someone gay is no longer clever, funny, or witty – it is just douchy. Same applies to racist comments. Nothing wrong with pointing out the trashy nature of ‘bag who happens to be Caucasian. Nothing wrong with a few “Jah, vee ah Nazi’s” jokes about ‘bags who happen to be from Germany. Nothing wrong with a few tamale jokes about a Raider-loving ‘bag who happens to be Mexican. A few “sum yung guy” jokes about a ‘bag who happens to be Asian… fine. But when we start mocking people BECAUSE they are gay, African, German, Indian, Native American, or whatever isn’t a pre-determined condition, then we have lost our way.

/

Geezus. That was a fucking pious rant for a Saturday evening. I apologizze for the digression.

/

Back to your regularly scheduled mockeration.

/

-Mike.

9:17 pm June, 26 Hot Buttered Poopcorn said...

Ah. Double T. There you are.

I’m with you on all the reasons why you didn’t go downtown but I stayed in solely because I’m lazy… and my ‘fridgerator’ was full o’ beer.

Mike: I’m intolerant to intolerance. You said it, brother.

Thankfully, with this crowd, it’s usually fairly obvious when someone’s being sarcastic and when someone’s just closed-minded. Keeps it simple for the drinkers of the bunch.

10:33 pm June, 26 lucious lupus john thinks that if you are too short for a ride at Cedar Point, then you can not qualify for being a douche said...

isn’t the age requirement to be at least 18 in order to be accepted into the halls of douche? actually, isn’t this kid too young to even be wherever he is in this photo? or out after 10pm? or, what the f is going on here!

7:19 am June, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

More reasons for moving from the GTA in two days than yesterday. At least back in Montreal there are less sensitives and criminals, the food is good, and they only riot when the Habs win or lose.

7:22 am June, 27 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And they can take a drunken joke. Shame about the frechmen thought.

8:07 am June, 27 creature said...

shame on ya Jimmy… that lil’ gal is either 4′ tall, 12 yrs old or both… & she probably squeaks when you spackle her…. better to toss that one back & trawl for something other than frye

10:06 am June, 27 bob said...

Does being a politically correct selfindulgently offended homo make someone a douche?

What the hell is “the n word?”

When I was 6 I wasn’t allowed to say “kunt” either.

Then I grew up.

10:12 am June, 27 Kandyisha Jones said...

@Bob

You’re right. Nigga please.

This is a place to play and not complain about innocuous jokes and raving comments that are made.

10:20 am June, 27 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I’d like to score a hat trick on that soccer pear…

11:47 am June, 27 G said...

I would take a penalty shot to the nads for a chance to sniff the sand underneath brazilian soccer pear…

11:51 am June, 27 Medusa Oblongata said...

I was gonna paint my bathroom bright robin’s egg blue. then I saw this pic. Fuck you, Jimmy.

2:34 pm June, 27 creature said...

some matronly shopkeeper in a seaside boutique told me aqua was the new ‘in’ colour this year… I guess Jimmy shops there

stupid shop clerk

3:04 pm June, 27 Thorax Hammersmith said...

I am pretty sure the N-Word is “Narnian Catacombs.”

.

And you are right, we shouldn’t use that word again. Why?

.

Because it will never be as funny as when Mr. Scrotato Head unfurled it via his epic song in yesterday’s Friday Thoughts and Links post.

4:50 pm June, 27 One for the Choad said...

Tinkerbell there will be quite the catch once she’s hit puberty.

5:10 pm June, 27 Turdacious said...

I always thought the N word was Nookie, I’m kinda old fashion that way.

I like the P word better though

5:20 pm June, 27 DarkSock said...

Just in case someone hasn’t answered Dicy’s question

Here ya go!

5:39 am June, 28 Tony Ventresca said...

Troy @7:51: “…and then getting the shit kicked out of me by the local constabulary as they defend the ruling classes from the will of the people they murder and exploit (which is never fun).”

.

Quoted for truth.

5:40 am June, 28 Tony Ventresca said...

Jimmy’s girl is about 4’8″ and has a tongue long enough to tickle his colon.

12:35 pm June, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Obviously the curators at the museum had a bet on “Worst -Living -Sculpture-Put-Together-From-Only-The-Shit-In-The-Lost-And-Found-Box” contest. Beth won but only because she got to the lost and Found box first. All the other contestants had costumes with varying amounts of eyeglasses, loose change, and iPod cases. Shirley broke the rules and had to be disqualified because she used urinal cakes and the sanitary napkin dispenser on her model.

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