Thursday, June 3, 2010

Lacrossebags At The Prom

No, Bryan and Pete, it doesn’t make you “quirky” and eccentric.

No, it doesn’t impress Kelly.

Now take that crap off, and good luck at U. Mass next year.

# posted by douchebag1
2:55 pm June, 3 Horace Dangleballs said...

Nothing like a t-shirt over the tux shirt to proclaim one’s douche status.

How long after this photo was taken did one or both of these trust fund dickwads date rape poor, hapless Kelly?

2:56 pm June, 3 massengill said...

You know what’s really cool?

.

Not these guys.

2:56 pm June, 3 DarkSock said...

Josh and Todd, ever the gentlemen, carried Darla’s pole-mounted tit-mitts to her prom.

2:56 pm June, 3 DarkSock said...

I have no idea what I just typed.

2:57 pm June, 3 DarkSock said...

Josh and Todd posed for one last bittersweet graduation photo before going forth into the world as Professional Urinal Cake Retrieval Technicians.

3:00 pm June, 3 DarkSock said...

Josh and Todd pose proudly with their new invention: the manual pole-mounted Sybian for $14.99

3:00 pm June, 3 End the Haberdouchery said...

Kelly discovered later that evening that these two forwards are true to their positions, running with shorter sticks than the rest of the team.

3:01 pm June, 3 DarkSock said...

Josh and Todd would soon find that due to logistical issues the sports world would have little use for their Protective Cup On A Stick invention.

3:04 pm June, 3 Crucial Head said...

Having finally overcome their acute scoliosis, Oliver and Beauford bravely removed their braces and hobbled to their prom.

3:05 pm June, 3 Victor von Douche said...

Ahh the white frame sunglasses, they are to douches what cowboy hats are to bulldykes.

3:06 pm June, 3 Turdacious said...

I always wondered if DB1 ever gets pissed when his characters names get changed up.

3:06 pm June, 3 Crucial Head said...

Darren and Todd donned their flak jackets, goggles, and equine prods, before taking their front row seat at the Mule Jizz-Milking Competition.

3:07 pm June, 3 Victor von Douche said...

Say, that douchebag on the right, is he just too much of an ass hat to tuck his shirt in or is he sporting a codpiece?

3:07 pm June, 3 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

Chad and Merf celebrate their promotion to Senior Executive Washroom Urinal Cake Replacers.

3:07 pm June, 3 Turdacious said...

probably not, about now hes too fucking hammered, he barely gets the send key pushed

3:08 pm June, 3 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

The Mario brothers finally caught that fuccen princess…in another castle my ass.

3:09 pm June, 3 Crucial Head said...

Gulliver and Willard were overjoyed when it failed to snow the day of their prom, but rather than take any chances, they brought their pointed snow shoes with them anyway.

3:10 pm June, 3 Crucial Head said...

Lance and Thadeus’ custom paddles showed that they were extremely well prepared for the fraternal right of male butt-bongo-fiesta later that evening.

3:12 pm June, 3 Crucial Head said...

Tanner and Elmore: Failed Toilet Plunger Idea #375.

3:13 pm June, 3 Crucial Head said...

Garth and Cornelius: Chimney Sweepers Union, Chapter 16.

3:15 pm June, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Choad on the right looks like his bowtie should be spinning.

3:17 pm June, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Later in the evening Bryan whispered into Pete’s ear, “I want to penetrate your tight crease with my stiff stick.”

3:19 pm June, 3 Victor von Douche said...

Ignatius and Joey knew that as soon as the prom was over they’d have to rush to their job of scooping up used condoms from the love tunnel at the fair, lest the head carney dock their pay.

3:24 pm June, 3 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

The Earl of Douchincourt and Little Lord Scroteleroy frolic at the ‘So you think you can powder nuts?’ show afterparty.

3:42 pm June, 3 scrotum pole said...

Octavius and Winfred ponder their future as butterfly collectors.

3:46 pm June, 3 scrotum pole said...

Tyrone and Nathaniel, of T&R Pest Control were called in to remove the rabbi’s badger which was found hiding under the buffet table.

3:47 pm June, 3 Anonymous said...

HEY ALL YOU FUCK HEADS STOP PICKING ON THESE GUYS. THEY ARE REALLY JUST HAVING FUN AND LACROSSE PLAYERS CAN KICK ALL YA’LLS ASSES FROM HERE TO SUNDAY FUCK FACED COCK SUCKING NERDS!!!

3:48 pm June, 3 Crucial Head said...

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!!!

3:50 pm June, 3 Crucial Head said...

Hey guys, what’s up. I’ve been gone for a few minutes. Did I miss anything???

3:51 pm June, 3 Crucial Head said...

FAILZACOPTRZZZZZ!!!!11!

3:53 pm June, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Lacrosse players are gay. By the end of this evening after the little girls say no they will gang rape a black tranvestite hooker.

Too soon.

3:57 pm June, 3 Vin Douchal said...

I don’t want to steal Db1’s thunder tomorrow but …

Nice ass on this gal. Really nice

Nice face and rack, too. Here’s where you find all of her photos

CLICK

Happy fwapping

3:58 pm June, 3 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

Sarah Conner decides enough is enough and unleashes the T-2012Fwapperstoppers on Crucial Head for his blatant attempt at anon-impersonating.

3:59 pm June, 3 Vin Douchal said...

Fucking djmick.com

Here’s the non-HTML Link:

http://www.djmick.co.uk/girls/sexy-bedroom-babe-pictures/

You gotta help yerself , sorry

4:09 pm June, 3 Nik Richie said...

This was on Barstool Sports two days ago. Weak. BUT I WOULD DEFINITELY GARGLE ME SOME LACROSSE BALLZ!!! OHHH YEAHHH!!!!

4:11 pm June, 3 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

^^^speaking of stool.

4:23 pm June, 3 DarkSock said...

Hey, Nik; watcha up to? Trolling Jay’s site for more content again? Beggars can’t be choosers.

4:25 pm June, 3 DarkSock said...

On an unrelated note, is it unethical to hack into another dude’s comment and add disparaging text in all caps?

.

.

just askin’……

I don’t think so. What th’ Hell? How did I…? Why does it smell like urine, the Kentucky Derby, and latex in here?

– Mr. Scrotato Head

4:31 pm June, 3 Mutton Knuckle said...

@Nik,

.

That’s why it’s called ‘baghunting. We scour the internet looking for pictures of douchebags with hot chicks and send them to Boss. I would wager the motherless goat you fuck every night, that 95% of the pictures on this site have been posted elsewhere in the vast ocean of the internets.

.

Besides, it’s not like DB1 stole the entire idea for his website from from countless other pea-brained celebu-trash sites.

.

What? Too soon?

4:34 pm June, 3 Crucial Head said...

Yo D’Sock,

.

Can you fix my… errr that idiotic Anonymous post at 3:47pm too?

.

What?

.

I’m an Admin too?

.

.

Brb…

4:37 pm June, 3 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Li Xian and Chuan Tsu pick just the right moment to introduce their pot stickers for motards.

4:45 pm June, 3 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Matt Stafford and young John Lennon brought their own whicker cockk ottomans just in case the party was a snoozer.

4:47 pm June, 3 Vin Douchal said...

RE: Nik

It’s Hooman Lamas. She wears the pants, he takes the dildo up the ass, she changes his name.

Hollywood

4:50 pm June, 3 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Try as they might, Chief Ruptured Polyp and Prances with Moose Knuckle were unable to snare young Kelly in their custom made anal hair dream catchers.

4:56 pm June, 3 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Mutton Knuckle,

.

Actually, the Boss gets most of his content sent to him by fans of the site. Can’t blame him if an occasional pick is submitted to and posted by another site.

.

@Nik

If you had a dime for every time someone spotted content on your site that you’d unapologetically pulled from somewhere else your prollapsed rectum would be spilling over by now.

.

Next time you’re on HCwDB trolling for content, keep your mouth shut, steal the links, and get the f*ck out.

5:02 pm June, 3 MILLS said...

hm i wonder is this what heaven looks like to douchebags? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lb6tvAWHwFo&feature=related

5:08 pm June, 3 Mockiavelli said...

Pete, the team’s equipment manager and 4th-string middie, hoped that Bryan would make good on his promise. For keeping Bryan’s delicates fresh all season, Kelly was supposed to give him a hurried, awkward handie in the mop closet.

5:08 pm June, 3 MILLS said...

the tony montanas of the douchebag world?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfCZGk8eCUk

5:31 pm June, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@MILLS

I think it is what earth looks like to them except for the orange, swole, etc.

6:00 pm June, 3 Douchie Howser M.D. said...

She is the young and untainted Lindsay Lohan.

They are Steve and Doug Butabi, who, themselves taints, will later taint her.

6:03 pm June, 3 Nik Richie said...

@ Sock

I’m impressed! Come to the dark side, we’ll make you Dirty Army strong!

Nik

7:03 pm June, 3 Jack Frost said...

My highschool had one of the top ten lacrosse teams in the nation. Out of grim necessity, I coined the term “lacrasshole.”

7:53 pm June, 3 Comex_Preacher said...

theres some real douchebags on twitter, i dont know if any of you guys have twitter? but some of the stuff people “tweet” its hilarious and so douchey (may i add that i only really started my twitter for work as a marketing tool but i have grown to like it now) like one douche “tweets” “i only eat calafornia rolls wen it comes 2 sushi bcuz thats how i fuckin roll lol ” honest to god i mean i just laughed because he was actually being serious i think, but to be honest these types of people are just funny and stupid really.

8:02 pm June, 3 Whoop-di-douche said...

Kelly wears fishnet stockings for a reason.

8:04 pm June, 3 Whoop-di-douche said...

Bryan’s little Blue Man on the Lacrosse net has plans.

8:08 pm June, 3 Anonymous said...

meh. coupla Celtics fans, no doubt.

8:26 pm June, 3 Stephanie said...

and they double as dog shit pick ups…..the mallets and the guys…..rim shot

10:57 pm June, 3 nik ritchie bent over a rusted out buick lesabre and staring into the windows of the trailer across the street said...

this gaping asshole isn’t just going to fuck itself boys!

12:36 am June, 4 Amy B. said...

The Amyloidosis Foundation estimates that approximately 3,000 people are diagnosed with amyloidosis each year in North America and that blood cancers overall have increased more than 40% in the last decade.

2:59 am June, 4 Sergeant Scrote Stain said...

Four boobs.

.

Two orange.

.

And two retarded.

3:21 am June, 4 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Seriously, you’d think these jerkoffs would have a mother who’d say, “No, you’re not going to the prom looking like a douchebag.”

4:46 am June, 4 doucheblaster said...

As an alumni from one of the top college lacrosse teams in the country…I am saddened to see that the lacrosse stick can be used as a douche accessory.

“LAXSTITUTES” or Lacrosse groupies to you slower thinking folk out there live in the wild suburbs and hot beds of hott like Long Island and MD. I started playing lacrosse not because it is a great game but also for the same reasons a kid learns to play guitar….because I thought it would get me some hott ass! And it did…thank you lacrosse!

Dont judge me.

As Jesus once said ” let thee who has done not to get the hott, cast the first can of axe body spray, and may it be the last! PU, this shit reeks!

4:48 am June, 4 doucheblaster said...

and might I add I played with my lacrosse stick after looking at Kelly…Hall of hott nominee indeed

5:25 am June, 4 Colossus of Choads said...

In the sleepy west ofthe woody east

is a valley called the Pioneer

we’re not just kids, to say the least

we got ideas to us that’s dear

like capitalist, like communist

like lots of things you’ve heard about

and redneckers they get us pissed

and stupid stuff it makes us shout

oh dance with me oh don’t be shy

oh kissme cunt and kiss me cock

oh kiss the world oh kiss the sky

oh kiss my ass oh let it rock

of the april birds and the may bee

oh baby

university

of massachusetts, please

and here’s the last five

it’s educational

it’s educational

it’s educational

it’s educational

it’s educational.

6:07 am June, 4 Condouchious say... said...

Bryan and Pete: Lacrosstitutes

6:17 am June, 4 DarkSock said...

^ Amy B @ 12:36 am ftw…amyloidosis….hoo boy, I’m giggling like Nik Ritchie at a weenie roast…

.

.

.

What?

6:21 am June, 4 DarkSock said...

@ Scrotato Head:

The Wicker Cockk Ottomans are opening for Kings of Leon at Bonnaroo this summer actually

6:49 am June, 4 DarkSock said...

Hey guys look what I done learnt how to do….
sock

6:50 am June, 4 DarkSock said...

MWU-HAHAHAHAHAAAAAHHH
FREAK

6:59 am June, 4 Ludacris Axehandle McCockkwielder said...

@DarkSock,

.

Thanks. Goodbye sober day…

7:33 am June, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@DarkSock,

.

I have looked into the face of evil and it wears a felt cap with plastic ears.

.

[Fills syringe with air, sticks needle in arm.]

8:00 am June, 4 Bagnonymous said...

@ Vin Douchal:

You’d think if the “sexy blonde bedroom babe” was that committed to taking pictures of herself, that she’d GET A BETTER FUCCEN CAMERA, FOR GOD’S SAKE. I’m just sayin’.

@ Darksock:

There I was, enjoying pictures of a sexy blonde bedroom babe, and then I clicked back on my HCwDB tab, scrolled down, and… Whoops! No more boner! Little Dickie just ran away and hid for dear life! No fwappicopterz for me.

8:12 am June, 4 Bagnonymous said...

Re: Vin D.’s sexy blonde bedroom babe:

“Most likely to SUCCEED.”

Yes… yes, I bet she is most likely to suck seed.

6:03 pm June, 14 Coach said...

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work with athletes: by helping you make the most of your natural abilities and find ways to work around your weaknesses. A good Coach Poppy

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