Thursday, June 3, 2010

Mitch: Gangsta of Connecticut (And Part Time Employee at the Gas-n-Go)

Well, Michelle, I suppose that’s one way to remove Mitch’s infected gall bladder.

# posted by douchebag1
9:26 am June, 3 Wedgie said...

Pushing it to the limit just gives you hemmorhoids.

9:29 am June, 3 End the Haberdouchery said...

How do I get my underwear sponsored by King Stahlman Bail Bonds?

9:31 am June, 3 Baleen said...

I think it says, “flush it to the limit.”

9:33 am June, 3 Bag A said...

“Push Ho the Lime”

9:38 am June, 3 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Someone hand me a rusty spoon. I’ll have that infection removed in no time!

But you may want to step back, Michelle. It could get messy.

9:45 am June, 3 mr.reeve said...

That’s the newest gay porn title “Push It to the Limit” starring Bruce Long Hose, Mitch-Phil McCrakken and Lance ARM-strong.

9:52 am June, 3 DarkSock said...

I propose a moratorium on colostomy jokes. Too easy, man….

9:53 am June, 3 DarkSock said...

“He DOES taste like smashed ferret assholes!”

9:54 am June, 3 DarkSock said...

“Push It To The Jimmy”? He’s doing it wrong.

9:56 am June, 3 DarkSock said...

Everytime Tina pushed the Gigantor Ebony Ass-Hammer brand dildo in she could feel it against her tongue like the kick of a dying goat fetus.

9:58 am June, 3 DarkSock said...

Obviously Shelia thought her boyfriend had said “I want you to lick Mike Cox”, leaving Mr. Cox fairly alarmed.

9:58 am June, 3 Crucial Head said...

Here we are on the plains of the Serengeti, where the pride’s alpha lioness proudly laps the amniotic fluid from her newborn cub’s soft underbelly. Suddenly, she pauses. Sniffing the air about her, she detects the aroma of extra chromosomes emanating from her purring, unweened suckling. Her survival instincts take over, and she devours the cub with one carnivorous gulp – thus staving off the pollution of her breed. Indeed, harsh justice brought swiftly forth amongst the kingdom of animals.

10:02 am June, 3 Crucial Head said...

Btw,

.

R.I.P. Tom Dong. Ushered out of this world by a Sämurǽ Swöŗd.

.

Who’da thunk?

10:10 am June, 3 Deltus said...

@Crucial: And now we’ll send out Jim to have a closer look, while we remain safely hidden. Ooh, looks like there still some douche puddle out there. OH! And the alpha lioness, with the fresh taste of kill still on her lips, is attacking Jim! Where’s the tranq gun? Jim has it with him? Oh, good, I’m no good with guns anyways…

10:13 am June, 3 ufo destroyers said...

Nothing screams “I’m a bad MO-FO” like a tattoo of Aunt Fritzi on your forearm. Granted, she is wielding a Browning Hi-PO.

And I guess everybody will now have “designer” tighty-whiteys now that Sharpie has a broad-tipped permanent marker for $2.93 at Wal-Mart and Haynes 5-packs for $4.99 at Roll Back Prices this week.

10:16 am June, 3 Baleen said...

Lamp looks on patiently as he waits for his spawn to burst through Mitch’s abdomen.

10:16 am June, 3 Ned's Atomic Douchebin said...

Also,

R.I.P.: Rue McClanahan. Somewhere Pfah is weeping salty fuccen tears.

10:16 am June, 3 Vin Douchal said...

Think her tongue got stuck like Flick’s?

Instead of being frozen in place, the toxins emminating from his disgusting being became glue-like in their consistency?

Juth cuh ih awth , Toc

10:17 am June, 3 Wheezer said...

“Push It To The Limit” must refer to what he likes done with his stool. I guess he prefers it done by his bail bondsmen, given the tribute on his underwear band.

10:19 am June, 3 Vin Douchal said...

The tatt says, “Push it to the lime. The anal bead cocktail/shishkebab up his ass starts with an orange then a few lemons and a cantaloupe followed by a lime.

10:24 am June, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

OK, 20 questions time:

1) Does this douche make his own underwear?

2) Is his eyesight that bad that his mom had to write his nickname (Pond Scum Willie) on them that big?

3) Does he get pissed every time he looks down and thinks that the tattoo artist fuccked up his tatt?

4) What sort of accident rendered her taste buds unusable?

5) How do you removal the fecal stain he’s putting on a leather couch with his sharting?

6) Isn’t the belt useless?

7) What is “it”?

8) Why does “it” need to be pushed “to the limit”?

9) The limit of what?

10) Is she just waiting for the signal from Buffalo Beast so that she can stop?

11) Why isn’t Lamp doing anything about this atrocity?

12) Isn’t pulling up the shirt supposed to be for an “ab reveal”?

13) Is this Patricia’s brother?

14) Does anyone else think he has an alien-shaped head?

15) Did she just give birth to a purse?

16) Is he swole from eating too much porch beef?

17) What did she use for lube on the jellydong, sand or Quikcrete?

18) Was this picture taken in a barn?

19) Did someone “triple dog dare” her to do this?

20) WTF?

10:30 am June, 3 Thorax Hammersmith said...

@Doc Bunsen,

.

An answer to your first question.

.

He only “makes” three things (underwear not being one of them): He makes poop; he makes “Grooo!” sounds; and he makes a fool out of himself.

10:38 am June, 3 doucheintheheartoftexas said...

As a Timothy B Schmidt wannabe and member of Connecticut’s 6th most popular Eagles tribute band “Hotel Kalifornia”, Mitch’s tat is yet another indication as to the abject failure that is his life.

10:49 am June, 3 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

You can’t hide your hepatitis.

And your pants are a small disguise.

Hope by now she’ll realize.

There ain’t know way to hide your hepatitis.

She gets up and sees your swollen liver,

from then on she can’t do nothing but queef and quiver.

Late that night he’s running with the Goose,

She slices his wrists and seal it with a noose..

Lyrics by Glenn Frydouche.

10:53 am June, 3 DarkSock said...

As Tina’s tongue became hopelessly attached to Tim’s abdomen they both learned a painful lesson, all too late, about the highly adhesive nature of Donkey Jizz.

10:53 am June, 3 5 Jump Athiest said...

Like a tortured Captain Kirk, all I can hear is the Paul Engemann song from “Scarface” growing louder and louder, while the montage sequence plays out in my head with a Mitch cut-out in place of Tony Montana like some Jib-Jab nightmare gone horribly wrong.

11:04 am June, 3 Anonymous 3:16 said...

I’m gonna guess his brand of underwear…”Pondscum”?

11:05 am June, 3 Anonymous 3:16 said...

damn, just saw Bunsen…I’ll re-retire from comments…I’m just not up to speed these days

11:05 am June, 3 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

I’d like to push this to the limit with Mitch tied to the bumper.

11:16 am June, 3 Victor von Douche said...

i wonder how many times he’s been punched/kicked in that remarkably fruity tattoo?

11:42 am June, 3 Merle Baggard said...

what is wrong with these women?

11:44 am June, 3 Tony Ventresca said...

Photos like this make me wonder if I’ve been in the same room, ever, with a woman who would lick a man’s tattooed stomach in a public place. I’m kind of glad of that.

sadly, michelle’s first attempt at sucking an appendix through a doucetat was only a partial success. she ended up with a mouth full of descending colon and a lesson in the specifics of left right anatomical features of the digestive system.

michelle, mouth full of colon was none the less pleased that she was able to perform an extraction, even though she will need a firmer grasp of anatomy before trying again…

2:54 pm June, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ @ Euripidouche

.

Your alias/alter ego is showing. Just sayin’.

3:24 pm June, 3 BM said...

The gall bladder is on the other side

4:08 pm June, 3 Scroteophobic said...

@Dr Bunsen

9. It = lim(douche) as worth tends to the infinitesimal.

4:17 pm June, 3 ToddJerad said...

He probably is going to be happy he has that at 50. Just wait until push it to the limit is some weird gay term that is popularized on a bravo reality show. “Hey Mitch, did he push it to the limit or just partially insert himself into you”. It could catch on.

4:37 pm June, 3 Mockiavelli said...

In the morning, upon inspecting her tongue, Michelle rushed to the basement and faced a terrible choice. On one side of the workbench, sulfuric acid and a wire brush. On the other, hedge clippers. While the details of her deeply personal choice cannot be revealed here, I’m pleased to say that she now teaches sign language at the Bright Horizons School for the Hearing Impaired.

4:47 pm June, 3 Snoop Douchey Bagg said...

Jeez, is the freakshow in town today?

Or is this just the result of the Vans Warped tour hitting the road?

7:36 pm June, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

I’m assuming “it” refers to his gag reflex.

.

@doucheintheheartoftexas

You should post more. Your avatar gives me the happy squints.

7:47 pm June, 3 Whoop-di-douche said...

It’s difficult to push PONDSCUM to the limit, but the bullfrogs, water beetles, and apparently Bleeths do.

8:44 pm June, 3 Stephanie said...

I saw this scene on Jerry Springer….inbred pondscum trailer park

10:39 pm June, 3 Euripidouche said...

@dr B

dammit, i hate when that happens.

10:51 pm June, 3 Guid is Good said...

Unable to find a petri dish, Michelle makes sure she takes a sample for later at the clinic.

7:25 am June, 4 waggyman said...

beer money provided by SSI..

12:02 pm June, 4 Anti-Bag said...

Did he write in Sharpie on his own waistband?

8:23 pm June, 4 LOL@DB's said...

Someone watched the movie Scarface one too many times. Whatta F’n DB! The broad ain’t any better.

11:35 am June, 7 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Paul Engemann? Why!?

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