Monday, June 7, 2010

Reader Mail: French Pair

Who says the Germans and French can’t get along? Here’s a little late night Ass Pear break brought to you by the German reader I douche, therefore I am:

—-

Dear DB1,

I have now known your site for about two months, and in this short time it has managed to become a daily requirement for me. As I am from Germany, it is not always easy to join in the mocking, since I don’t get all the cultural references that are made in the truly amazing comments section. But I try…

Anyway, the actual reason I am writing to you is pear, French pear, to be precise. I always look forward to Friday, as I imagine every visitor of HCwDB does, so I would like to contribute by making you aware of some, imho, truly amazing butt-cheeky deliciousness. In the case that this pear has already been posted here, I humbly apologise, otherwise: enjoy!

Sincerely,

I douche, therefore I am

—–

Why not take a random Ass Pear break now and again? Danke Shoen, IDTIA. Sie ist sehr gut.

# posted by douchebag1
9:41 pm June, 7 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

IDTIA, there are some things that need no explanation. This pear is one of them.

Well done, man. Very well done.

10:15 pm June, 7 OnlyHereForThePear said...

Ich würde meine Zunge benutzen, um die Spaltung Himilayans

10:18 pm June, 7 Douche Assassin said...

I havent commented in months but: That pear is not purchasable at any grocer in any country. Wunderbar!!

10:20 pm June, 7 jonezy said...

Mr Gorbachev, TEAR down that Ass Pear!

10:24 pm June, 7 Vin Douchal said...

As perhaps the premier Ass Pear hunter in our little clique I must extend a handshake across the world to you, Herr I Am. We are doing the Lord’s work.

P.S. She is wearing no underwear. She could contract a rash. If this happens I will volunteer to apply ointment.

10:25 pm June, 7 Wheezer said...

Vive Le Pearis!

10:25 pm June, 7 Mad Douchigan said...

Wow….

I could go on…..

But….

Just…. Wow!

10:29 pm June, 7 Vin Douchal said...

T’was a tasty black and white pear

Sent from a country that’s way over there

Had the Germans won

We’d have not seen this bum

It may have been the ass of Pierre

11:09 pm June, 7 The Right Honorable Member for, The Very Reverend Mother Her Duchal Serene Highness, Dr, Hortense Sussudio Fuckerfaster said...

ich ben ein gelee schwanz graben sie bumsen

11:30 pm June, 7 Doo Schnozzle said...

Das ist güt.

I may have to bring back “Schwantzen and Schlongger, Inc.”

Lange Schlongger, President.

:p

11:39 pm June, 7 Victor von Douche said...

A prize among mere produce. Mein Herr, my hat is off.

11:41 pm June, 7 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

Danke my friend. Danke. And by danke, I mean…I would danke myself in her, never to be seen again.

12:28 am June, 8 Crucial Head said...

Gentlemen, I feel it is my duty as an American to inform you all that I would certainly sink my U-571 into her Wehrmacht. I would introduce her Red Baron to my Purple Baron Von Goo Load of PörȻh BɇƐf.

.

My Luftwaffen would Blitzkrieg her Kaiser and make her feel Söze.

.

.

And so on and thusforth…

12:32 am June, 8 Baleen said...

Holy shiess!

That ass has the aroma of 1989 Ch. Haut Brion after being swirled around in the finest crystal stemware. The “finish” goes on and on.

12:39 am June, 8 Crocodile Dun Douche said...

That’s more an ass peach if you ask me… but whose arguing over fruit.

Wait I need one more look at it before I submit this comment… and done.

1:08 am June, 8 tall guy said...

That is choice pear. Thanks for taking the time to share it, IDTIA.

2:26 am June, 8 Baron Von Goolo said...

Ach du weineez und büstenhalter!

4:06 am June, 8 Steve L. said...

next up: beer pear.

.

that’s the only German reference i have.

4:38 am June, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She is Verboten in arab countries. Wunderbar. Her French plums need to be wetted with Liefraumilch and attacked by my Messerschmidt full of Debreisner sausage.

5:29 am June, 8 DarkSock said...

Mein Gott! I would like to annex her Sudetenland and light her Reichstag fire…

.

I would give her something similar to my pant’s Himmler…

.

I would let her Shat On my Patton as she Battled my Bulge…

.

I would show her the humanity of my flaming and rapidly deflating Hindenberg…wait….

.

Wow. Just…wow. Ach du lieber Himmel!

5:33 am June, 8 Elastic Snap Hole of the Love Bear said...

I’d like to try and walk a mile in her shit…just to see where it came from.

.

No, really. I would staple my only ballsack to a sleeping bear’s snout just for the privilege of fabricating a pair of flip-flops out of two of her fine tan scat specimens. Then I’d lounge around the house wearing them and a terry cloth bath robe and then rub one out to an old recording of the Maury Pauvich show.

5:34 am June, 8 Mr. White's Last Thought said...

*Ass Pear? I don’t see an Ass Pear…just a black and white photo of a urinal…*

5:34 am June, 8 mr.reeve said...

French ass pear on a Tuesday morning is good. Maybe she will surrender the pear quickly…..the French way.

5:35 am June, 8 DarkSock said...

It goes without saying. But I will say it.

.

.

.

I’d pee in her butt.

.

.

.

Wheezer, who in the HELL came up with the whole butt pee thing anyway?

5:41 am June, 8 Admiral Hamilton ManTitty said...

I would gladly proffer half of my family’s centuries-old fortune just to hear the sweet honey-toned purr of her glorious flattus…

5:42 am June, 8 DarkSock said...

It’s P Diddy’s bike rack

5:44 am June, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She just made a my limberger weep with tears of joy.

5:45 am June, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Does she shave or have a black forest?

5:45 am June, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Angela Merkle just went lez.

5:46 am June, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She Franzed my Ferdinand.

5:48 am June, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

90 ear old Argentinians want to invade the French flank again.

5:50 am June, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

She has a Falaise Gap.

6:08 am June, 8 Anonymous 3:16 said...

great googly moogly

6:19 am June, 8 Justin said...

Thank you.

6:19 am June, 8 Army of DOuche-ness said...

great! 10 minutes into the work day and i need to go change my pants!

AoD

6:24 am June, 8 scrotum pole said...

I would penetrate her Maginoit Line like Heinz Guderian’s panzers.

6:37 am June, 8 Claude Douchenburg said...

That is some ripe ass pair

6:41 am June, 8 Claude Douchenburg said...

Those things look like they are about to poop…er sorry I meant pop!

6:44 am June, 8 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

As I peer upon the pear— I got nothing- I have ass pear amnesia

6:48 am June, 8 Wedgie said...

No wonder you guys invaded France.

6:58 am June, 8 Deltus said...

Her derrière is so fine it makes angel hair pasta look like lasagna noodles.

6:59 am June, 8 Deltus said...

Her derrière is so fine it… ah screw it! *FAP FAP FAP FAP*

7:07 am June, 8 The Right Honorable Member for, The Very Reverend Mother Her Duchal Serene Highness, Dr, Hortense Sussudio Fuckerfaster said...

baby got bach, and the ludwig is getting beethoven and oven, keep johannes to yourself those brahms are mine, i’d mendelsohn that fannyuntil she felix, i’d ride those valkyries til i wagner.

7:39 am June, 8 I R A Darth Aggie said...

*drools*

Sorry, where was I? oh, yes, All Hail, Ass Pear.

7:55 am June, 8 my friends call me @$$hole said...

if this guy had been at nuremberg with this photo, the allies would have surrenderd

8:06 am June, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Ass pear ate the Mossad.

9:51 am June, 8 Wheezer said...

@’Sock, 5:35 a.m. –

.

The earliest reference I could find is here – unfortunately it’s not an ass pear shot, but I like it. Oh yeah, and the comment is below.

.

I may know more, but you’d have to reveal your secret for posting pics in the comments…..heh heh…..

11:45 am June, 8 Sorta Damocles said...

Hall of Pear worthy!!!

1:11 pm June, 8 Pablo Sinatra said...

Thanks alot, dude, now I can’t stand up from my desk.

4:04 pm June, 8 ObiChoad said...

Absolutely perfect.

5:50 pm June, 8 notadouche said...

HALL OF PEAR!!!!!

GAAAHH!!H!H!

(pear perfection orgasm)

6:31 pm June, 8 Whoop-di-douche said...

Hands down, cocks up, the best ass pear EVER!!

I mean, the goddamn arse looks like a HEART!!!

7:18 pm June, 8 Whoop-di-douche said...

Pure Ass Pear, disembodied yet fastened down with gift ribbons, and topped with DarkSocks, er stockings and bound as a bouquet with a ruffly corset tie.

OOH LA LA.

9:59 pm June, 8 Stephanie said...

I don’t know guys,it looks awfully fakey to me.,it could be one of those rubber life sized dolls – that’s not a normal girl’s ass…drool all you want,but it looks wax museum worthy.

2:20 am June, 9 lucious lupus john has a tear in the eye said...

tres magnifique!!! j’aime les basketballs de la fabrication d’amour!

8:15 pm June, 16 doucheton said...

That is one of those real dolls.

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