Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Reader Mail: L’Italiano Douchebago


U.K. Rob writes in, perhaps obviously, from the U.K.:

—-
hi,

i’ll get straight to the point with this message, the photos related im submitting i came across on the net, it was taken in Italy (i live in Europe but not Italy, im from the U.K ) and they are of teenage douchebags male and female.

they are part of this sub subculture/clique/style or whatever called “Truzzi” just wanted to know what you think of it ok thanks.

– rob
—-

Italy is clearly in its worst cultural crisis since the post WWII malaise of unemployment and decline as depicted in the Neo-Realist cinema movement of filmmakers like De Sica. There’s an overwhelming stench of orangeness, spikeyness, hat tilt and all around shameful global circulation of Grieco Virus in this pic.

On the plus side: Lesbianism and Hello Kitty bags. As depicted in the strange conflation of 21st century marketing strategy and iconic branding.

# posted by douchebag1
11:30 am June, 22 WheezerHCwDB said...

Now we need Medusa more than ever. I think she’ll make a return trip to Italy with a two-fold purpose.

11:30 am June, 22 Thorax Hammersmith said...

Hey, that’s Matt Stafford!!

11:33 am June, 22 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Where are the riot police swinging clubs and mashing these “kids” into the ground when you need them? Tear gas canisters should be flying and high-pressure water hoses spraying with a force that pins them to the side of building are nowhere in sight? I weep for the future. Strike that, I’m done weeping for the future, bring on the napalm.

11:34 am June, 22 Doucheblaster said...

on a related note…The French suck! The French suck like a 10cent crackwhore earning that dimepiece. a country of stinking douchebags!

11:44 am June, 22 Douche of Hazard said...

All they gave us was:
French Fries
French Kiss
French tickler
Crest-aunt
and a bunch of white flags left over from WWII

11:46 am June, 22 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Demographically speaking, the Italians aren’t having enough offspring to even replace themselves let alone grow the population. That tends to happen when a culture gets old and affluent. Eventually there will be way too many geezer Italianos demanding their socialized benefits be paid for by a rapidly diminishing workforce incapable of footing the bill, so much so that the entitlement riots that ensue should wipe away any remaining vestiges of Italian society. We’ll be able to take great pleasure as the last wrinkled true Italians are trundled off in their wheelchairs to the spas by the new ruling immigrant population and crushed under wheels of exquisite parmesan cheese.
.
In the mean time we can only hope that seconds after this photo was snapped the entire pack of revolting raviolis were taken out in spectactular fashion by a coincidentally scheduled grand prix road race.

12:27 pm June, 22 ICING BROS BEFORE HOS said...

bitch beer to the rescue!

difficult to believe italian women still think they are above fucking american men. they must be the italian chicks not pictured, otherwise who would have noticed?

12:39 pm June, 22 Medusa Oblongata said...

I’m not familiar with the word “Truzzi” but I will surely ask Mr. Biscotti later today when I see him. and now you know why he’s desperately trying to get out of Italy. Not for the declining employment and growing social crises, but to avoid contamination. Sure, GV is rampant here as well. But, unlike Italy, the average person can afford a house with a yard and a fence and then you’re not sharing wall with these sort of designer jeans-wearing cockroaches. And then you’re not listening to the thumpa-thump of generic club music through the walls all day and night. And then you’re not smelling the stench of AXE and cheap vodka wafting in every time one of the miserable little gits cracks a fart.
.
Indeed, Mr. B is a victim of the closure of Porto Marghera, in a very Obama-esque move by Italian parliament and their version of the EPA. If they really wanted to tackle pollution, they’d sweep these vermin off the street and burn them as fuel. As for the declining population, it is the sad truth about Italy, they’re veering towards extinction. Part of it can be blamed on the men staying boys for far too long, the culture of “Mamone” (mama’s boys) has whipped them into incompetent, dickless babies over the last half-century. I keep telling Mr. B we ought to pop out a few before my scaly womb dries up, but he keeps dumping it on my face instead. Ah, well, at least my skin finally cleared up.

12:58 pm June, 22 Claude Douchenburg said...

I don’t anything about it but if it involves females kissing each other in public I am for it.

1:01 pm June, 22 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Medusa^
Sorry to hear about Mr. B’s job. Was that the refinery?
.
Over zealous environmental regulation is going to wipe out a lot more livelihoods than BP could ever hope to. Shame for everyone.

1:10 pm June, 22 Doucheblaster said...

@Douche of hazard

actually funny you mention it…I got a whole bunch of WW II french rifles for sale. theyre in mint condition, never fired and dropped only once!

1:14 pm June, 22 Whoop-di-douche said...

Hello Kitty Douche is seriously misbranded.

Should be Hello Pussy.

1:20 pm June, 22 Whoop-di-douche said...

Hello Kitty handbags exported from Japan, the style of which was westernized cutesy-pie and now a symbol of east-meets-west douchebaggery?

Well tickle my whiskers and pink my gumdrops.

1:38 pm June, 22 Claude Douchenburg said...

I googled Truzzi to find out what it is about. I saw a lot of Emo vs Truzzi videos on Yopu Tube. In my day it was the Mods vs The Rockers. Rockers were kinda BSA, Triumph, boots, blue jeans and leather jacket types. And the mods were suit ties and mopeds or scooters. Europeans are so weird.

1:44 pm June, 22 Bag Margera said...

These are Italians? They look like mainstream Japanese kids, who aren’t cool enough to hang out Harajuku.

1:58 pm June, 22 Steve Dave said...

Ummm…looks like scene kids from the Suburban U-S-of-A to me, with a keystroke of Japanese Harajuku street fashion, an Axe-spritz of Jersey DB, and just a hint of Chav/Pikey thrown in for added stupidity.

All of which indicates that the Italians are officially lagging 6-8 years behind the international community’s lamest subcultures of the past decade. !Che meraviglia!

2:01 pm June, 22 Sir David Douchenborough said...

It appears that the Italian youth seem to just wildly accept anything that passes their way. I think they get it from their grandparents.

“And then you’re not listening to the thumpa-thump of generic club music through the walls all day and night”

If there is one thing I am glad that North America pushed back was the Eurotrash techno music of the nineties. Unfortunately, house or progressive house, oh sorry, hau5 music is gaining popularity and these eurobags are infesting the quiet tranquil landscape of Canada, since we have this supposedly popular producer/DJ, deamau5 or whatever shitty moniker these pseudo-artists possess. I am afraid he is a blot on the otherwise decent Canadian music legacy (well, there is Celine Dion, unfortunately) that include groups like Rush. This deadmau5 dude is even hanging out with Tommy Leebag.

I am uncertain; I think this may be worth an actual pic submission.

2:24 pm June, 22 Anonymous said...

WTF! Why are they trying to bring back the eighties. The fashion sucked so bad! Stupid euro-trash!

4:08 pm June, 22 Bag Margera said...

@Sir David Douchenborough
Deadmau5 aint euro trash, nor is any of his music. Throw you tomatoes if you want, but I’m a fan. Lot’s of douchey artists out there in all forms of music, but in house and electro, he keeps it minimal… except for the fucked up tattoo’s on his neck.

4:40 pm June, 22 Deltus said...

I, for one, am against lesbian kissing unless both chicks are at least a 7.5.

5:17 pm June, 22 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

@Douche of hazard

You’re actually giving the French too much credit. Chips (I refuse to call them French Fries) are actually Belgian in origin.

7:41 pm June, 22 Steve L. said...

the girls featured in this pic are probably into Hello Kitty vibrators.
is that a good thing?
i’ll have to leave that to a feminist to answer.

10:56 pm June, 22 DoucheBigue said...

+1 deltus
And the chicks should not only be at least 7.5 but also at least 18 of age. We’ve got a bunch of 15-17yo fluo-douche there.
Since those Tatu Russian chicks became famous, the whole eastern European dance music got trendier (along with 80’s fashion – which hardly ever left that region)
Mullet is quite popular on the Black Sea shore.

DB1, I would encourage you to have a trip to any shore of the Black Sea to witness the cradle of uberdouche with uberhott.

6:45 am June, 23 Tony Ventresca said...

Remember to thank “over-zealous” environmental regulations when you open the tap in the morning to brush your teeth and you don’t get a chemical cocktail mix pouring out. Demographics reveal that the largest baby boom is in Canada and Australia, with the US a fast second, so get ready for an aging population and increasing redistribution of resources towards a generation which has already sucked out more than its fair share; Europe has non-replacing populations for other reasons.

1:13 pm June, 25 kuku said...

Ok. I am from Italy, and in Italy right now. Yes, most teenagers and unfortunately other people too, even women and men in their 40s, are fuckin douchebags and douchebaguettes.

The funny thing is that one gets mocked here for looking NORMAL. Me mocking them generates hilarious laughs on their side. I often mention to them this site.

THEY DON’T GET IT.

Why mocking a bunch of normal people (those you and I would call douchebags) who simply like to be fashionable, they say. They just don’t think douchebags are ridiculous.

THEY THINK NORMAL PEOPLE ARE. Normal people are so weird to them. Why, why dressing normal? One has got to have a style, and TV choose the style for you. What is personality? They don’t even know what a personality is. They’re entirely empty. And they stay empty at 30, 40, 50 years old. Italy is hell, culturally and intellectually. They only praise their past but as few entrepreneurs say in Italy, Italy is today way behind the rest of the world INTELLECTUALLY. It is like saying that italians are MORE STUPID THAN THE OTHERS. Which, as an italian, I have to confess is TRUE. If few aren’t dumbasses doesn’t change a thing, most italians are intolerably ignorant and uncapable of thinking and speaking like a normal american or northern european.

Yes. Cultural crisis it is. The worst ever. Italy is hell. But is france different in essence, or germany, sweden, or the rest of europe in general? And as this site testifies, the US are FULL of idiots and douchebags (talking about the guys in the pictures…)…I seriously hope, and maybe it is true, that the US have a wider spectrum of cliques, and not everyone is a douche, or an idiot that is. Italy also has its bunch of normal looking and being people, but it’s a severe minority and still, life for a normal person here is hard, socially, if not impossible: I survive by shunning social interactions. What should I do, talk to these immature and stupid looking people? And again, also people my age (around 30) are douches in their own way. I again repeat, normal people are a rarety. When I go on a bus, 90% of people are douchebags. The rest are normal people I have nothing against, although this isn’t a reason to befriend them right away. Most of these people aren’t italian but foreigners living in Italy. Normal and respectable looking africans and korean people, for example. Almost noone from the rest of europe. The rest are italians, and for the most part are ignorant and narrow minded.

I have a unique objective outlook on the matter as I am HALF italian.

The situation is desperate. It’s just out of control, but again, I have lived around and have found a similar situation all over the world. It’s an age of proletarian mediocrity and ignorance ruling. Period. People don’t even know what culture is and why it is important.

People possessing whatsoever culture and true intellectual capabilities are supposed to watch and pray everything falls apart, which it is. It is obviously a failing society. Ignorants can’t keep a cock stiff, let alone keeping a society together. Italian or japanese that they are.

But yeah, the sad thing is, probably not ONE teenager in italy is NOT stupid. And this is very sad. Makes one wonder what went wrong. Italians blame Berlusconi. But what about these guy’s parents, who make them do whatever they want, buy them whatever they want, and bring them up as pussies who don’t give any value to the word EXPERIENCE. Italian kids do not think travelling is “cool” or important in one’s life, it is an entertaining activity like watching tv: you do it if you like, it doesn’t make you better. This isn’t true, people who travel more are MORE interesting than those who never travelled, how the fuck can it be the other way around. Travelling is interesting per sè, makes the person inherently more interesting than another who had less experiences. But they think this is crazytalk, and I think it is not and that they suck major ass and don’t deserve any attention from nobody. I wouldn’t be happy to be a parent of one of these monsters. But I repeat: I haven’t seen a single normal looking teenager for years, in Italy. Maybe one or two elsewhere. But not here. They are ALL stupid looking, all and each one of them. It is a dysaster comparable to a sperm spill.

My life sucks, I am here walking among people I despise, not because of the way they look, but because of the way they THINK, which is ignorant, intolerant, violent towards whoever doesn’t LOOK stupid like them. I am decent looking and this helps, but still I am no douche, which is a BAD thing to them. There is nothing to do to change them, one has got to swallow the insults, every day. I am in the same situation every NORMAL person in Italy is. Surrounded by morons who do nothing but judge others cinically and think they’re better than you why? Because they follow the dictates of TV without a single mistake except not discerning between cool and uncool according to TV itself (I see nothing even on the stupidiest TV, that tells me that dressing like these kids do is “cool”. I have NO IDEA where they learned it). That’s right. Italians of 30 years old have a childish mentality and those who don’t have it are weird to them. They never questioned themselves, they think they’re perfect.

So my life sucks. But does it suck more than theirs? In the end, they are garbage, and we all hope their days are almost over. But as the ignorant’s comprehension of basic logics is impaired, only destruction of the previous order of things can solve the cultural problem. There is no talking or substituting to do. In the circumstances, it is entirely useless to use reason or logic. How can a person who wears those clothes know what reason or logic are. He doesn’t know, period. You can bring him the most refined or simple logics, he’ll still not get it. Try. By my experience, non douches rarely talk to douches. Well you should try, to see how low a human brain can get.

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