Friday, June 11, 2010

Reader Mail: The Situation

—–

DB1,

Attached find a pic of “The Situation” from Jersey Shore.

While reading an otherwise enlightening news story, this ass hat with his Hollywood (married?) hott appeared out of nowhere as an advert for the Washington Post. The news has been good from the front, but relying on this idiot to sell papers is enough to make a man start pounding malt liquor at 10 am.

And as much as the situation makes me want to slip into a fortified alcohol funk, I just can’t do it. For the Germans shall surely come storming and the Republic must survive. So DB1, perhaps you’ll post this pic and remind us who the real enemy is while we wait for some Friday pear and I’ll keep the Maginot Line fuccen strong and post some snipers on high alert for any roving Eurobag.

Field Marshal Phillipe Petaint

—-

Good catch, FMPP. The Jersey Shore douchebags have reached a higher level of awareness than any of our HCwDB legends of scrote, but I would remind all that mocking douchebags on the other MTV show (the show that came first) is far more rewarding.

And by rewarding, I mean helps the DB1 pay for extra bottles of Mogen David quality fortified wine.

# posted by douchebag1
11:33 am June, 11 Bagnonymous said...

Right about now, somebody is damn disgusted about buyin’ her that diamond ring…

11:38 am June, 11 darksock said...

I wish I had a magic wand that would make dicks explode. Yeahhh. not mine though. it’d need a failsafe.

i’m babbling

11:49 am June, 11 Douchie Howser M.D. said...

The Shituation

.

That can’t possibly be original.

11:55 am June, 11 Turdacious said...

Lets elaborate on what the situation is.

11:55 am June, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Three factors are involved when this worthless piece of human trash is involved:

1) He exists

2) Some genius at MTV decided to film and show he and his cronies

3) There are idiots that watch it and drive the ratings

This is why people like me are not programing executives, upon first sight I would have had security guards in my building pummel this guy into unrecognizable hamburg. They turn him into gold. Go figure

11:56 am June, 11 Turdacious said...

I got nothing!, sorry..I thought i had something then poof it was gone.

11:57 am June, 11 bigphatnotadouche said...

Marsha Brady has aged well.

12:07 pm June, 11 Turdacious said...

Thats Lauren Conrad

She is now very filthy and not in a good way

http://photos.posh24.com/p/70478/lst/lauren_conrad/lauren_conrad_and_kanye_west_are_big_fans_of_sweden.jpg

12:11 pm June, 11 Turdacious said...

but id still hump her like a morman mainlining viagra

http://cdn.buzznet.com/media-cdn/jj1/headlines/2007/07/lauren-conrad-bikini.jpg

12:15 pm June, 11 Wheezer said...

Naming yourself “The Situation” epitomizes douchebaggery, especially when you have absolutely nothing else going for you.

12:17 pm June, 11 Deltus said...

Yeah, she’s quite doable, you’d just want to boil your nethers in bleach afterwards.

This doucheclown would go down with one solid lower uppercut punch to the diaphragm, I swear.

12:22 pm June, 11 Bagnonymous said...

Ms. Conrad is, indeed, delicious. I’d definitely let her give me a tug, as long as it’s with her other hand, though…

12:33 pm June, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Huge crush here on Lauren Conrad. Still not enough to motivate me to watch The HIlls. That’s why Google exists.

HTML Lauren test ?

12:34 pm June, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Wow ^ That was weird .Try again

12:35 pm June, 11 Bagnonymous said...

She puts a stiff wind in my sails…

http://auntiefashion.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/lauren-conrad.jpg

12:35 pm June, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Dammit, Darksock, I’m getting closer

12:35 pm June, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Yeah!

12:36 pm June, 11 Bagnonymous said...

(Looks like Darksock & Vin have figured out something cool that we haven’t learned yet.)

12:39 pm June, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

He is in love with his abs more than chicks. Guido.

12:43 pm June, 11 Claude Douchenburg said...

Why do those douches go to all that trouble having all their torso and groin hair removed but miss the arm pits? If they leave the armpit hair does that make them manly?

12:44 pm June, 11 Wheezer said...

I’m going to learn that fuccen trick, damn it!

12:47 pm June, 11 Euripidouche said...

is it too much to ask for, in this once almost great nation of ours, that a woman would take it upon herself, to perform a duty of national imperative, and castrate this douche with a sharpened surgical steel eyelash curler, specifically fashioned for this occasion?

is feminism dead?

12:51 pm June, 11 Claude Douchenburg said...

Test

12:58 pm June, 11 Voulez-vous doucher avec moi? said...

….and Ed Hardy underpants to top it all off. Gurrrgh.

1:03 pm June, 11 Vin Douchal said...

@ Bagnonymous

Yeah but in deference to Db1 , I ain’t talking.

This blog could easily spin out of control and lose it’s “R” rating if we went willy nilly into posting photos.

1:06 pm June, 11 Dicy said...

Why is his name the situation? I mean does he actually call himself that or did MTV make it up for some stupid reason… I don’t understand, not that I really want to.

1:07 pm June, 11 Dicy said...

I’ll post some willy nilly photos.

1:12 pm June, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Like fer instance if I asked , “Would you rather see Kelly Ripa’s hot MILF abs or her squatting camel toe?” you’d have the option to click or not.

You may not like her or women her age or just may not be interested. No prob

But on the other hand, I could just say BAM! and there she is at the garage door :

1:36 pm June, 11 Turdacious said...

@ Vin Douchal

Yea just clicking on links is fine, but when you can figure out “scratch and sniff posting” let me know first

1:44 pm June, 11 Turdacious said...

Id like to hear that a horse peed in this guy once

darksock “tm”

2:20 pm June, 11 darksock said...

I have opened a Pandora’s Box….

a

2:56 pm June, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

I thought this chick is Carmen Electra

2:57 pm June, 11 Bagnonymous said...

@ Vin D:

Actually, what I’d really like to see is a “MUTE” button for Kelly Ripa. I mean, she’s one rock-hard tight spinner milf if I’ve ever seen one, but DAYUM she’d be even hotter if I didn’t have to hear her voice. (see also: Heidi Klum)

2:59 pm June, 11 Turdacious said...

@Et Tu Douche

Nope, unless she had a breast reduction

3:46 pm June, 11 lucious lupus john sprinkles penicillin on his cereal and mixes it with his metamucil said...

so by touching his abs, is she giving him an std, or is he transmitting one to her

4:42 pm June, 11 Dicy said...

Let me sign in WordPress! Please?

4:43 pm June, 11 Dicy said...

Oh.. Never mind. My cell’s internet is just acting weird I guess.

5:41 pm June, 11 MILLS said...

looks like the situations’ situation has a situation…

6:12 pm June, 11 Turdacious said...

The situation is, the brain does not process common commands such as breathing through his nose

6:13 pm June, 11 Turdacious said...

the situation is, it smells like someone forgot to wipe thoroughly

6:15 pm June, 11 Turdacious said...

The situation is, Kelly Ripa has better abs then the sitchiation

6:21 pm June, 11 Turdacious said...

If the situation ever hurts his back from trying to blow himself, the situation will get dire for his abs

10:12 pm June, 11 Steve L. said...

so have all the employees of the Washington Post been placed on the no-fly terrorist list yet? i know for a fact that the Washington Post had just been listed in the Axis of Evil.

11:35 pm June, 11 DarkSock said...

The Shituation

11:19 am June, 12 DarkSock said...

^thread read fail, Sock thought, as he echoed D Houser’s shituation intonation from inebriation.

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