Friday, June 25, 2010

Steve’s Bachelor Party of Two

Steve regrets only making one real friend, Paulie, during the course of his sadly disappointing, mediocre and soon to be forgotten 40 years of life.

But Paulie swore that, even if it was just the two of them, it was going to be the best damned bachelor party of all time.

He would end up being wrong.

It would not be the best bachelor party of all time. And one of them would end up with the runs.

Meanwhiel, Beth promised herself that in six months she really would take the G.E.D. No, this time she means it.

# posted by douchebag1
9:20 am June, 25 Vin Douchal said...

Bachelor party ? Did California legalize marrying goats?

9:30 am June, 25 DoucheBigue said...

This pic is disturbing, there’s something wrong about it – sure it’s full of douche fail but… it’s like they don’t fit as douches. It’s like seeing buddy driller as a douche whereas you see him every day on the rig soaked up with grease.
Did the GV really go so far??

9:37 am June, 25 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Man, Roger Clemens has really let himself go since leaving baseball.

9:38 am June, 25 mr.reeve said...

Two dicks and hole.

9:45 am June, 25 Bagnonymous said...

Enough already with the pointing! What is this, a damn JC Penney catalog?

9:46 am June, 25 Euripidouche said...

Beth, I fear your bleethin ‘
put down that choad right now
he and the bags are playin’
And they just bought bling in town
Just a few sore herpes
And its a stage two bleeth for you
they think you wear them tilted’
Oh, Beth what kind of douche
Beth what kind of douche

You say you need some bills paid
but that scrote is just a choad
and hes always maxed out
delinquent and he can’t pay a toll

Just a fourty hours
And he’d alright for you
but think the basements callin’
Oh, Beth what kind of douche
Beth what kind of douche

Beth, I know you’re woo-type
And I’d suckle up your thigh
but the bags and the goose they’re greying
ain’t right.

9:57 am June, 25 mr.reeve said...

Pear is the only thing that can make up for these two chodes and Beth’s bleethy ways.

Two weiners and a cave.

10:00 am June, 25 Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamscote said...

The douche on the left looks like he’s pinchin a loaf but pondering something funny at the sametime. Stop multitasking. Shit in piece fat douche.

10:00 am June, 25 DarkSock said...

Party of 2.8 is more like it.

10:01 am June, 25 DarkSock said...

In the background I see that Plinky’s Mom got her hair dyed blonde again.
.
Round Boy’s about to get a plug bit outa his ass.

10:02 am June, 25 DarkSock said...

She’s got that Sasha Grey sluttiness goin’ on…if you’re into that kind of thing.

10:03 am June, 25 DarkSock said...

Kid Cockk and Bubba Sparxx on tour this summer

10:05 am June, 25 massengill said...

Speaking of summer tours, anybody know when Chuggo will be touring the US?

10:06 am June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Wonderdouche Triplets Unite! Form of a Hep-C!

10:13 am June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Massengill^
.
No idea, but I’ve got my money set aside for this guy when the “Toots My Barreh” tour comes to town.

10:32 am June, 25 Bagnonymous said...

Beth looks like the kinda girl who would let you f*ck her raw on the bathroom counter of some random person’s party while she’s yelling at her ex-boyfriend on the cell phone the whole time you’re pounding away…

10:34 am June, 25 Bagnonymous said...

PS. Who’s the attractive blonde in the back? I’d love to pay her alimony.

10:45 am June, 25 dewshey oxburger said...

Steve: “Duuude, I just snaked this box of Virginia Slims and a gin and tonic from that ol’ granny’s table over there… See, I told you – I don’t pay for anything in Vegas yo!”

10:52 am June, 25 Dicy said...

I wish that all the pictures on this site were actually part of an elaborate hoax where we are the victims of a horrible horrible joke. Alas, people like this really do exist.

11:00 am June, 25 Mr. White said...

@bagnonymous
She’d let you f*ck her raw on the bathroom counter of some random person’s party while her boyfriend is in the very same bathroom, taking a dump.

11:00 am June, 25 Mr. White said...

I peed in Beth’s hat once.

11:11 am June, 25 Army of DOuche-ness said...

is it at all possible that as the wrld/society becomes less formal, more people work independetly from home and we also do more professional work on the internet that it’s completely possible that you’ll have educated, white collar professionals who look like this and just take advantage of lax dress codes, etc. ?

Cuz I might be a great example of that if you saw me on a weekday afternoon at the coffeeshop below my office looking like a college student from the near-by university

11:16 am June, 25 Troy Tempest said...

agree with Dicy. This is all very sad.

Baby Jesus just strangled a kitten with his butthole.

12:36 pm June, 25 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Army-of-Doucheness
.
If I was working the counter in that coffee shop and you walked up dressed like one of these guys, and you flashed me the Shocker as you asked for your double espresso and a chocolate croissant, I’d look under your ridiculously tilted hat, see the pain in yours eyes, the channels cut down each cheek by anguished tears, and I’d crush your skull with the frappuccino machine.
.
Your family would thank me later at the funeral because that’s what friends are for.

3:27 pm June, 25 Steve L. said...

i wish Beth luck on her G.E.D. she’s gonna need it.

3:33 pm June, 25 Steve L. said...

meanwhile, Steve has convinced me to not make any real friends.
take that, you fucking 40 year old deadbeat!

3:35 pm June, 25 DarkSock said...

fafff

3:37 pm June, 25 Steve L. said...

but wait! who’s that blonde next to Beth? is she on the verge of getting a 7-figure contract with Revlon?

yeah i learned the “7-figure contract with Revlon” thing from Ms. Suzy McCoppin. you gotta give credit where it’s due.

11:00 pm June, 25 Whoop-di-douche said...

Meanwhile, Beth plans to take them into that grass hut and introduce them to her witch doctor.

11:04 pm June, 25 Whoop-di-douche said...

Meanwhile, Beth plans to take them into that grass hut and light a Tiki torch.

11:05 pm June, 25 Whoop-di-douche said...

Meanwhile, Beth plans to take them into that grass hut and marry them to each other.

11:07 pm June, 25 Whoop-di-douche said...

Meanwhile, Beth plans to take them into that grass hut and play Texas Hold ‘Em using their dingleberries for poker chips.

11:07 pm June, 25 Whoop-di-douche said...

Meanwhile, Beth plans to take them into that grass hut and blow the house down.

8:25 am June, 26 Mr. Biggs said...

You know what, I kinda like four-prong. I mean I couldn’t actually preen myself like that without wanting to put a bullet in my head. But at least he’s smiling and happy to be around the hott. He’s still a douchebag, but I let him go in peace, as he provide the clubs with a nice circus atmosphere.

And “Funny or Die” just needs to die. On a greater note, I think we need to pay serious consideration to all the hangers-on to this site’s coattails. I just saw a number of Gawker articles about Axe and the malepocalypse. Of course, I always go to Gawker.com as the authority on masculinity. :-S

10:42 am June, 28 Brad said...

This goes on EVERY Saturday at the Thousand Oaks Inn. You should log onto the facebook page and check this shit out. It is pretty horrible…DB1 could have years of material just from the photo downloads…

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