Monday, June 28, 2010

Swifferhead Voted

HCwDB gadfly, The Swifferhead, wanted to take a moment out of pestering lovely Melanie, who deserves better but hates her small town and couldn’t get that student loan to stay enrolled at U. of Michigan, to vote in the HCwDB of the Month.

Have you voted yet?

# posted by douchebag1
12:43 pm June, 28 Bagnonymous said...

Silly Melanie! All she needs to do is lie and declare that she belongs to an “under-represented minority” and *boom* she’s got a free ride to Michigan.

1:07 pm June, 28 mr.reeve said...

I am usually not the biggest red head fan but strawberry small rack on the right is a hottie!

Swifferhead needs a kick in the pants and Melanie can always apply for UNLV and strip at night to pay the tuition. That’s the Vegas way.

1:11 pm June, 28 jonezy said...

is that Keetlehead’s brother in the background?

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nooo. nope. Unarched eyebrows gave it away

1:17 pm June, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

You can’t spell scum without the UM in the middle of it. Sorry but I went to Michigan State. GO GREEN! GO WHITE!

1:19 pm June, 28 Mr. White said...

I’m with Mr. Reeve. Forget Melanie–I wanna talk to Red. And by “talk to” I mean “lick.”

And since she’s near Swifferhead, there’s no worry that she’ll be covered with unpleasant dust or pet dander.

1:19 pm June, 28 Bagnonymous said...

^ little sister..!

1:20 pm June, 28 Bagnonymous said...

^ (that was for Doc. Bunsen)

1:21 pm June, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Dr. Swifferhead prepares to make the initial cut into Melanie’s dome to see why she wanted to go to scUMbag university in the first place. His trusty assistant, He-With-The-Long-Neck-Who-Fellates-Giraffes, watches from the gallery while taking notes.

1:23 pm June, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Bagnonymous

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What do you get when you mix “maize” (it’s fuccen yellow for Chist’s sakes) and blue? That’s right baby, GREEN! Add a little WHITE and you finally got some winning colors.

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GO BLOW! (he he)

1:25 pm June, 28 Bagnonymous said...

@ Dr. Bunsen:

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Hey man, I’ll concede that your school’s girls are hotter. WAY hotter. There’s no question about that…

1:31 pm June, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ @ Bagnonymous

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And we only recruit/entice the finest criminals to come and play for our sports teams too. Is Red (the hockey coach) still pissing on that prison-looking compound Yost these days?

1:31 pm June, 28 Medusa Oblongata said...

Oh, hey, Swifferhead. That reminds me, I gotta get some more cleaning pads for my mop. And eat Crazy Red on the right like a late-night pancake platter at IHOP.

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I’m not even sure what that means. But I’m sure it’ll be sticky and sweet.

1:35 pm June, 28 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

@ Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche Go Green! Go White! Can’t read! Can’t write!

My Ex went to State, just another reason they suck. Izzo is from my hometown…and I still can’t go for them.

1:36 pm June, 28 chaserofthehott said...

I’ll take hot ass redhead on the right for $200 Alex.

1:38 pm June, 28 Douchey Lewis and the News said...

And I’m aware you can in fact read and write, sometime comically. All this BigTen intercollegiate hate is distracting us from the choads and boobs…the glorious boobs.

1:54 pm June, 28 Bagnonymous said...

Redd Hott on the right looks rather “gangsta” with that padlock-on-a-chain thing there. If I were engaging in inter-personal physical relations with her, I’d certainly request the use of a safe word, like “flugelhorn” or “Mr. Belvedere.”

1:57 pm June, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Douchey Lewis

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Ahh yes, we must continue the mock above all else. Sorry your Ex went there. It is a land-grant school (we’ll take anything as long as your money is green) after all. As far as Izzo goes, I think he’s an EXTREMELY arrogant asshole. He’s good at what he does, but he’ll never be a John Wooden or Coach K.

2:05 pm June, 28 Tommy Gun said...

Wow. This site has some interesting creatures on it. I am with all of you above on Red. She probably has tasty meat curtains to gnaw on.

2:16 pm June, 28 Bagnonymous said...

@ Doc Bunsen: AFAIK, Red’s still there, and still very old. Though these days you probably won’t find me in (A) either of the areans or (B) the stadium, on account of me (A) not really giving a crap and (B) not enjoying the intimate company of 115,000+ complete strangers who never even went to school there.

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PS. Plinky’s mom’s so fat, her football ticket at the Big House said “Section: 143, Row: ALL, Seat: ALL“.

2:43 pm June, 28 smackdouche said...

I gotta give Swiffer credit. His head and his shirt match perfectly.

3:18 pm June, 28 Fatness said...

Wait…

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…isn’t Swifferhead the Michigan State mascot?

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I’ll be over here on the left caressing Melanie’s self respect while your folks teach Red what it means to be loved.

3:51 pm June, 28 End the Haberdouchery said...

Red could do late-night HBO soft core porn. She’d be better than the over-inflated horses currently faking orgasms.

3:57 pm June, 28 Sir Douche A Lot said...

Red can give me head in my bed

4:25 pm June, 28 Whoop-di-douche said...

This very photo is the classic reason why we mock douchebags.

There in the background is a rather normal and good looking fellow, minus the babes, certainly not the usual Waldouche we might see in this position.

There in the foreground is the douchetwat with two lovely babes. Need I say more? Mock on.

6:17 pm June, 28 Steve L. said...

if this is not a vindication of Sharkbag’s douchiness, i don’t know what is.

8:05 pm June, 28 Steve L. said...

well it’s a bit premature to call the monthly for the Sharkbag. i guess what i should’ve said was:

if Swifferhead did not vote for Sharkbag, i don’t know who will.

11:13 pm June, 28 Stephanie said...

swifferhead can dust my ceiling fan

11:13 pm June, 28 lucious lupus john warns the youth to have respectable, boss-fearing haircuts, the kind that says i deserve to earn more money than my cubical neighbor with the the ed hardy wrist watch said...

the good news is that when his hair falls out in 8 years, he will have this great photo to remember how cool he looked.

12:59 am June, 29 tall guy said...

Red on the right is bloody nice looking. Small, firm tits; pleasant smile that’d look excellent when slightly contorted from pleasure. I’d like to see more of her.

6:06 am June, 29 Tony Ventresca said...

I’m a bit surprised at the love for Red Hott in this thread, since my first glance at her said “tranny”.

7:30 pm June, 29 Mr. Biggs said...

Is Swifferhead Sharkbag’s apprentice?

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