Monday, June 14, 2010

The Douchebag I Don’t Want to Remember

We’ve run this shaved chest doucheclown, who borders on the gaybag disqualification, on the site before, but the memory is so scarring, I refuse to go back into the archives and determine his name.

Instead I will stare at Sally’s knee-high boots and consider her potential for frisky good girl fun, with a side order of guilt, nervous distraction, and a long conversation about low carb dieting and how her older brother is, like, so annoying.

# posted by douchebag1
2:40 pm June, 14 Horace Dangleballs said...

What’s with the seam on the side of his face? Skin grafts? Concave skull from Daddy hitting him with a pipe? Hannibal Lecter making his escape from the courthouse? What a poser cockgobbler.

2:42 pm June, 14 Frodo Baggins said...

lolz

2:43 pm June, 14 Frodo Baggins said...

PS His name was/is Euro Crud. Sleep well.

2:48 pm June, 14 mr.reeve said...

I am going to have nightmares about this dude. What the hell is up with his face. I am pretty sure this is a gaybag. Sally is his shopping and waxing pal. How come straight married dudes can’t have a pal like Sally hanging around them too? I just don’t get it……..neither would my wife.

3:05 pm June, 14 Aaron said...

Uh, sorta looks like he tanned the front of his face, but left the sides alone. :/

3:05 pm June, 14 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

My teeth on her zipper, I drop to my kness and you know the rest

3:36 pm June, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Nice day for a White Wedding.

3:39 pm June, 14 LurkerDouche said...

For what it’s worth, we’ve seen that chick before too. Something about her being a Scandinavian princess or something, I think.

3:50 pm June, 14 soy bomb said...

Is she floating in mid air? Something in this photo just ain’t right.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Oh wait, it’s the douche.

3:57 pm June, 14 Vin Douchal said...

He’s modeling the clear plexi-glass mask that the members of the Swedish Goat Blowing Team wear during competition.
.
At the 2010 Internationals, Ingmar-Dagmar Smortleptz pictured here, felated a world record 16 goats in the alloted five minute time period shattering the previous record of 12 held by himself in the 2009’s
.
During the interview following the battle Ingmar-Dagmar exclaimed , ” No. I am not going to Disneyland. I’m going to stick my sister, Fahmke, into my leather zippy dress and knee high boots and have her ramrod my ass with a 14″ strap-on Thor hammer plastic cocck …! “

4:11 pm June, 14 Meat Beat Many Fisto said...

Unfortunately, Igör’s hair was no match for the ceiling mounted return air grill in the hotel foyer.

4:13 pm June, 14 Wedgie said...

Looks like third world photo shop work to me. Using a stolen copy of the software on a stolen knock off bootleg Samsung shitty laptop. Powered by a generator run by goats on a treadmill.

In other words, not too good.

4:27 pm June, 14 Snoop Douchey Bagg said...

Six Degrees of Kevin Douchebag.

4:33 pm June, 14 Bob the Bag Hunter said...

The blonde is tasty and the Euro is fucked up looking.

4:59 pm June, 14 Mr. Biggs said...

Why do I always have this video in my head when I see him?

5:11 pm June, 14 MILLS said...

whoa this is freaky, looks like a serial rapist has gone to a gay bar killed one of the male strippers and taken their face and is now using it to fulfil sick fantasies with young girls, people lock up yo daughters we hav a queasophile on the loose!

5:46 pm June, 14 Wedgie said...

Hannibal Lecter’s escape technique.

5:52 pm June, 14 Anonymous said...

Has anyone noticed how gray Obama’s hair is getting? I guess the job of President is more than he can handle!

6:03 pm June, 14 Jarrett Bellini said...

Is that a scar, a beard, or a really bad fake tan?

6:15 pm June, 14 P Showard Chunt said...

damn i would so bang her like you though clarissa explains it all, would look when she was old enough….

douche is the al capone of the twink mafia.

7:22 pm June, 14 lucious lupus john doesn't like depeche mode, or the men who look like them said...

i think this proves that expensive hair and clothes do not make the man.

8:44 pm June, 14 massengill said...

He was sent from the future to find John Connor and make him fabulous.

8:50 pm June, 14 Steve L. said...

upon closer inspection, Frodo Baggins is apparently right. he must have a bottle of Crud Cleaner in his kitchen or something.
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and i must’ve left my apartment keys somewhere inside Sally’s dress.
.
horrible things will happen to me if i don’t say that. yep. that’s my newest excuse.

1:25 am June, 15 doucheous lupus john was leafing through a book and found a fitting quote for the occasion said...

“man is condemned to be douchey because once thrown into the world he is responsible for every douchey thing that he does.”
–jean-paul “g-damn” sartre

1:37 am June, 15 creature said...

the mark on his cheek is from shaving with walrus cockk

1:41 am June, 15 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Dude needs a swift kick in the spleen if you ask me. He pisses me off worse than listening to Moby while watching my mom get gang raped by Québécoise mimes at a Ren Fair.
.
She is junior prom awkward makeout in the back of dad’s ’91 Taurus LX divinity cutieness. Ya remember how high school vag’ just tastes different than legal vag’? Yeah, I thought I forgot, but seeing this swede booted bombshell, I suddenly remember…
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Dear Lord deliver me from sin, and instead deliver my cawk into her pink petaled flesh folds of baby batter receptacle delight.

1:42 am June, 15 breitlingwatches said...

What is Breitling? Do you know Breitling Watches? Buy these Breitling Watches sale on line.More cheap Breitling Watches for sale! 岩姐测试!如有雷同,纯属巧合!

1:48 am June, 15 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I’d plaster my scrotum with minced tuna and dip my balls in a tank of starved wombats for the chance to deftly insert my yogurt slinging baby arm in her delectable roast beef piss flaps pudding palace.

1:49 am June, 15 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I’m drunk as fuck, and I still sicken myself.

2:16 am June, 15 tall guy said...

Yeah, I remember this douche. The persistence of memory is horrible sometimes.

6:29 am June, 15 Mr. White said...

I don’t think there’s any “good girl” in the fun to be had with a chick in a strapless leather dress with front zipper access.

Not that there’s a damn thing wrong with that, of course.

8:05 am June, 15 anon5 said...

Are you guys blind? No way this guy is a douche. I wonder where he got those awsome boots..

8:52 am June, 15 Deltus said...

I can barely stare at the hott because of that line on his face. It’s just… wrong.

12:33 pm June, 15 tall guy said...

I think the line running down the side of his face is a mask of some sort. A bit like that worn by the Phantom Of The Opera. Regardless of anything else though, he appears to be very, very gay. Maybe that’s why he’s priming the barely legal Sally, whose boobies look surprisingly large considering they’re actually rather small.

12:44 pm June, 15 curbyourendouchiasm said...

@Wedgie

You called it–definitely a photoshop hack job. Don’t know who it really is, but Euro Crud’s face got pasted on…

6:20 pm June, 15 MsMon said...

He’s going out to lick some dick. Can’t U notice the hungry dick starved expression on his face? Definitely a bottom..

7:43 pm June, 15 Whoop-di-douche said...

I’ve never seen glory holes in the tips of cowboy boots before, but there’s always a first.

7:44 pm June, 15 Whoop-di-douche said...

Wait. Those aren’t cowboy boots. They’re gayboyz shoez.

7:53 pm June, 15 Whoop-di-douche said...

Surely her suckle thigh is as soft as the gray suede of her Puss’n Boots.

Surely his cock is as hard as the leather on his ankle boot soles.

Surely, neither the two shall meet, for both are the dreams of men looking for booty.

7:55 pm June, 15 Whoop-di-douche said...

A wank an a twink he is, ergo a TWANK.

7:59 pm June, 15 Whoop-di-douche said...

One cannot be sure which canyon is deeper, his cheekite or his cleavite, but the valley of the shadow of dearth is evident in both.

She, on the other hand, is Mother Earth.

8:03 pm June, 15 Whoop-di-douche said...

Yea, as the cock crows ,this lad has been spending way too much time in the poultry rings of county fairs.

She, though, is as fresh a filly as runneth forth from the cuntryside.

8:09 pm June, 15 Whoop-di-douche said...

Guys with long skinny feet in gothy leather ankle bootz should not wear pegged pants.

Unless they’re pimping around for some footloose and fancy-free peg-leg jobs.

And NO, I won’t even post that link. Find it yourselves.

10:36 pm June, 15 abdouchah the butcher said...

Something is just frightfully wrong here. He looks like a really bad wax likeness of Peter Weller or something, his boots are longer than clown shoes, and that thing. On. His. Face. Its like the precise microsecond he was whacked with an invisible nightstick, putting a ditch in his cheek & sending his hair flying, but his knees haven’t buckled yet. And the lady is simply divine. I fantasize aboutgazing into her eyes as I slowly pull her zipper down. Whap-a-dang!

7:48 am June, 16 lolz said...

both deuschebags

swear they’re famous because they were on some reality show no one gives a shit about.

its funny why and how people think they are important these days

that show was like a year ago, and a year later they are still trying to be famous, because they have nothing real to succeed by. In life all they can say is “i was on so and so reality show”

fucking sad, seriously.

4:49 pm June, 16 Ava said...

Good God – her outfit is TRAGIC!!!!!! I’m not even going to say anything mean bc I just feel sorry for her that she thinks that looks good in any way, shape, or form….

6:10 pm June, 16 Brad said...

Wait, where’s the hot chick? There def isn’t one in this pic

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