Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Downtown Loft Pud

Do not be fooled.

Somewhere between Hipsterbag and Rockerbag lies the Downtown Loft Pud.

Who actually lives upstate. In his mom’s garage. But, dammit, he’s going to rent that loft soon. When he gets that gig spinning for the McKinley High Junior Dance. Then it’ll all be gravy.

So why’d I really run this pic?

Amanda. I would triple vault through a rice patty field swamp wearing a mumu and a diamond crusted caftan in the hopes that I would startle the nearby oxen enough that they would drop a cowpie which would provide the nutrients to grow a series of white orchids six months later that you would end up ignoring while getting a mani/pedi with your besties in Reno.

# posted by douchebag1
7:03 am June, 10 creature said...

Pfah looking up Plinky’s mom’s skirt in background

7:04 am June, 10 creature said...

yeast balls rain upon him

7:05 am June, 10 Hot Buttered Poopcorn said...

Ah. The old herpe hiding trick. Classy, Red Cap.

This guy is one of Team Zissou’s deck hands, right?

7:08 am June, 10 bigphatnotadouche said...

Lip and teeth reveal? WTF?

Was he looking to see if he had any dip caught in his teeth?

Dude in the back is about to kill himself because Amanda is hanging with this wool hatted emo skinny turd.

7:08 am June, 10 Wedgie said...

Fuck Brad Pitt for this look.

7:12 am June, 10 chaserofthehott said...

I love this girl! We need more hott like this, one’s I can take home to mom 🙂 so freakin sexy!

7:17 am June, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

DB1 is half insane.

7:27 am June, 10 The Right Honorable Member for, The Very Reverend Mother Her Duchal Serene Highness, Dr, Hortense Sussudio Fuckerfaster said...

she is insanely smoking hot, he is allday gaybag….

she will go out with her gays, talk about dick, felching, all the stuff you would like to think about her doing, then she comes home, and gets offended because you use the term “nuts in a drawer” to describe your day at work….

what’s up with that?

7:27 am June, 10 Bagnonymous said...

Oooooohhhhhhh LORDY, Amanda! She’s got that look in her eyes that gets me considering some bad, bad life decisions…. She’s one of the gosh-durned prettiest things I’ve seen on here in a long time. Can I have her? I might be willing to consider trading Francine for her.

.

In other news, is that Buffalo Beast on the left, holding up his 1997 vintage coastal-cabernet to the party lanterns to check its clarity and luminance?

7:30 am June, 10 Doucheasorus Maximus said...

She is killer. He is POS.

7:43 am June, 10 Bag Margera said...

I live in Toronto, one the most multicultural cities in the world. So naturally we have every variation of bag you can think of, but none so much as the downtown loft pud. We are absolutely infested with lofts and the puds who inhabit them. Fortunately they are harmless, and can be avoided by saying “I don’t want to hear your spuedo-garbage hippy crap.” You might think an easy solution to getting rid of them, is bulldozing the lofts. However you run the risk of replacing them with something much worse, like frat bags, gaybags, and yuppies. Toronto’s doucheosity is a delicate ecosystem I’ve noticed, and I rely on the grungers to keep the 80’s bags at bay. Plus Man-friendly lipstick lesbians like Amanda inhabit lofts as well.

7:45 am June, 10 Bagnonymous said...

What we cannot see is that Buffalo Beast is wearing plaid shorts with his striped golf shirt. ‘Cuz he can pull off crazy fashion shit like that.

8:04 am June, 10 In Flagrante Delicto said...

Holy, mother of God, Amanda is the hottest thing I have ever laid eyes on.

8:10 am June, 10 Hot Buttered Poopcorn said...

If I didn’t smell like exploding butt kernels, I’d buy Amanda a Vodka & Cranberry, ask for her number, accept the rejection with tact and grace, then go home and fwop til the the sun came up.

8:20 am June, 10 ehcuodouche said...

I know we’ve seen amanda before…but where?

8:26 am June, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Buffalo Beast unsafely checks his bazooka before deciding on saving Amanda by ramming it up Loft Pud’s ass and pulling the trigger.

8:30 am June, 10 Bagnonymous said...

@ ehcuodouche, 8:20am

You thinkin’ she might be the pink-dress/boots hott from a few days ago?

8:47 am June, 10 Ariscrotle said...

I had to google caftan.

9:00 am June, 10 Southern Scrotic said...

Amanda is soooo hott.

9:05 am June, 10 Phil said...

db1…. uhhhh……………….. what?

9:06 am June, 10 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

I am sensitive and brooding because I wear a wool cap in summer and have muliple braclets!!!! This guy is two hots form being Joren van der douche

9:13 am June, 10 doucheywallnuts said...

Amanda, I would fight through an armada of armadillos aiming anal assault rifles at me while wearing an argyle ascot and armor made of an alpaca/angora wool blend as I agilely agitate algae in a tank armed with angry alligators all for the chance to be aligned with you and your allies as you tell me to go fuck myself after ably arguing for a chance to dance with you.

9:17 am June, 10 Bagnonymous said...

When I look at Amanda, I hear “Moving in Stereo” by The Cars.

9:29 am June, 10 mr.reeve said...

Amanda is wife material hot. Not an ounce of skank on her.

What’s with the half beanie on the head look? Never got and never will. Waldouche isn’t hiding in this pic.

9:34 am June, 10 Douchie Arnaz said...

Automatic HOH, of course.

9:39 am June, 10 Ned's Atomic Douchebin said...

I want to marry her with my wiener.

9:53 am June, 10 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

…downtown loft douche….it’s summer dumbass, take off the beanie…you look like a strike anywhere match, that needs to be struck.

.

Amanda is kinda cute not super hott high maintenance ‘hey I’m an internet model’ that would never give me the time of day…which is why i would totally ignore her, give her the ‘pfft…whatever’ look, and then meet her in the filthy men’s room lock the door then give her the stars and stripes forever…

10:31 am June, 10 Cheesesock said...

The Loftpud represents a new mutation possibility for the Grieco virus. Gone is UBR, replaced by Rare-ass (but soon to be more common) Clear Cup, red fuzzy winter cap in a warm season, untucked, striped, preppy shirt; an overall “non-threatening” vibe and demeanor. Non-threatening to heterosexual males, yes, but to innocent flowers like Amanda, they are the wolves in douche’s clothing. I’m going to forward the motion that winter hats in summer and untucked preppy shirts in COMBINATION is a marker for auto-douche.

10:35 am June, 10 tall guy said...

Agreed with every flattering comment above concerning Amanda’s hotness. She is the hotness.

I’m uncertain whether the look has infiltrated your shores yet, but recently, as we entered into our early Winter, I was noticing increasing (and disturbing) numbers of the local douche variant sporting daft hats, beanies, and/or scarfs while wearing shorts. I was working on my car out on the street a few weeks back and this idiot walked right by outfitted thus. I really felt like telling him he was an idiot.

10:46 am June, 10 Steve L. said...

just for Amanda, i would lie about getting an expensive downtown loft too.

wait what the fuck am i saying? NO!!!1!11!

10:48 am June, 10 Mr. Biggs said...

Execute him.

11:18 am June, 10 Vin Douchal said...

I would like to see that pasty, ass-stenching Yankee hat fag from the Joey Porsche group kick this guy’s ass.

Shortly after that, I’d like to see a meteor drop on the both of them leaving them resembling a plate of lasagna. AAAAAY!

11:28 am June, 10 Baleen said...

Lamp seems to have briefly mutated into sentinel balls of eminent doom. Watch your ass hipsterbag.

11:31 am June, 10 Baleen said...

Like an ostrich in the sand, I would bury my head in her laundry basket.

11:44 am June, 10 Mr. White said...

@ehucodouche

I don’t know about you, but I think Amanda seems familiar to me because she bears a strong resemblance to porno chick Jassie. (SFW if you’re quick and nobody’s looking.)

12:12 pm June, 10 Stephanie said...

He’s thinkin’ and commencing to cipherin’…Jethro Bodine has more sense.

12:16 pm June, 10 doucheywallnuts said...

The rock group Boston says it best…

http://s0.ilike.com/play#Boston:Amanda:29517:s51942.8167228.4197136.1.1.76%2Cstd_a62d0cef2e97d1394f26d79fd404d903

1:19 pm June, 10 Victor von Douche said...

He looks like he’s thinking “fuck i hope that’s not a cold sore coming up again!!!”. This guy is a small time douche at best, but i still weep when i think of what amanda is going to look like after years of exposure to an upright gibbon like this clown.

2:06 pm June, 10 Douchelips said...

Wow! Amanda is worth the price of admission! Oh wait, I didn’t pay anything to get here….sorry thought I was on one of my porn sites again.

.

She is just WOW! I’m speechless! And that gleam in her eye and look on her face…it’s like she KNOWS he’s a douchebag!

4:16 pm June, 10 Walrus Whisker said...

Loft Pud’s are just…

.

.

S C A T M U N C H E RS!!!!!!!

4:24 pm June, 10 scrotelakecity said...

Loft Pud is college indie scrote.Hopefully he’ll grow out of it when he’s selling used cars.

Whenever I look at Amanda I feel the sudden urge to come to grips with myself.

5:16 pm June, 10 Anonymous said...

Her name is Erin McNaught and she’s an Aussie model….

5:20 pm June, 10 Captain James T. Douche said...

I think we need more pics before we start talking HOH. But she sure is beeeeeautiful!

10:34 pm June, 10 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

I second what db1 said about Amanda, plus I’d do other painful and/or embarassing stuff just to be sure.

I gotta give the dude a Nottadouche pass for the moment. Just not feelin’ it.

2:58 am June, 11 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Whoa, whoa, FUCKING WHOA!!!! Any of you even THINKING about giving this douchebag a Nottadouche pass need to take a refresher course. Wool hat when it’s not cold is AUTHODOUCHE. And I haven’t even gotten to the stupid fucking chest reveal and the goddamn faggoty bracelets. Ring on your fucking index finger??? This guy is a douche is so many ways and you’re all being blinded by how hot Amanda is. C’mon, people, wise and see this guy for what he is, A GIANT FUCKING DOUCHEBAG!

4:43 am June, 11 my friends call me @$$hole said...

he does that with his hand to cover his erupting herp…

8:17 am June, 11 Deltus said...

That’s a rare kind of Uberhott, right there. Day-um!

9:02 am June, 13 doucheblaster said...

amanda is all perfect goodness except for that douche holding on to her…Why Amanda, Why?

9:04 am June, 13 doucheblaster said...

thank you jimmy…that was wonderful

5:43 pm June, 13 Kev said...

Thats Erin McNaught – hot Aussie.

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