Monday, June 7, 2010

The Four Prong

Tagging a Four Prong near hotties in the wild is one of the hardest ‘bag tags there is.

Tagging one in aqua douche-vest near the rare but always valued Hottie Bra Reveal (HBR), is borderline epic.

Kimmy on the left is all sorts of carnal gaze and dewey dewdrop sing-a-long goodness that palm slaps a polar bear and juggles some gargle teat. I’ll even forgive her Spiderman web tatt if she gives me a backrub and buys me a Bass.

EDIT: Addendum to the ‘tag: Four Prongs can have anywhere from three to five prongs. And yes, the DB1 is quite hungover this morning. But enjoying a tasty bottle of Trader Joe’s Blood Orange soda.

# posted by douchebag1
12:35 pm June, 7 Left 4 Douche said...

I count 5 prongs.

12:39 pm June, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

South Korean Bukkake producer.

12:40 pm June, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Kim Il Jong’s punk double.

12:41 pm June, 7 creature said...

Uh, Boss, 4 prongs is a butch gal!

12:42 pm June, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

When they see his deformed ham slammer, they have a ready emergency exit.

12:43 pm June, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

WOLVERINE!!!! Snickty-snick (that’s the sound he makes before…) PLOP! (the head falls on the floor).

12:44 pm June, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

In a few months the girls will realize the white slave trade was not as glamorous as they thought.

12:45 pm June, 7 Jonathan Livingston Douchebag said...

I have to agree with Creature. Can we confirm that the subject is male? Are ironically dressed lesbians subject to the same not-a-douche qualifiers as gay men?

12:45 pm June, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

It seems pretty obvious that this frosting fluffer has no idea of what to do here. And, does HBR have a bra on UNDER a bra??? What the hell purpose does that serve?

12:47 pm June, 7 End the Haberdouchery said...

Kimmy looks like a naughty Jordana Brewster. I’d be nice to her less attractive friend all night just to make her jealous. Also, I’d do something idiotic with my hair and clothes to stand out from the other guys. Also, I’d tell her how much I like her panties because of how they minimize how big her butt is. Also, Mystery is a choad and I’d do none of the aforementioned things.

12:51 pm June, 7 Wedgie said...

A dyke and two pornstars. Emergency Exit, indeed.

12:54 pm June, 7 Crucial Head said...

Leave it to the lesbian’s to come up with rug-munching innovations. When the lesbian on the right goes down on her partner, her hair acts as one of two things:

.

1. A comb… for those inclined to leave things au natural ‘down there.’

.

2. A 5 blade Bic razor for those who prefer the shorn look.

.

.

Those crafty lesbians…

12:55 pm June, 7 Et Tu Douche? said...

The perks of being the son of an Asian gambling whale is, while daddy is in the high stakes poker room he instructs his casino handler/suckup to keep you occupied thus you get to mack on Vegas dancer hotts in what looks like a back room closet/dressing room

12:59 pm June, 7 Crucial Head said...

Seeing how deeply they were embedded into her brain, doctor’s decided to leave the eagle talons in Bertha’s skull after the horrific accident at the Audubon Society convention.

1:02 pm June, 7 Crucial Head said...

The gang haughtily scoffed at the blocked emergency exit as Great White kicked off the first song of the evening.

1:06 pm June, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It’s hair is so sharp I could use it as a Garden Weasel.

1:06 pm June, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Pat didn’t seem to notice as Dr. Fanglehooper started using sea monkeys instead of the usual ass hair to restore his balding pate.

1:08 pm June, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I always thought that the alien monsters came out of your stomach and not the front of your head.

1:09 pm June, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Crucial

Great White! HAHAAAHAHAH. Burn Bertha Burn!

1:09 pm June, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Crucial and Darksock

.

Don’t you guys have some kind of use for this in the architectural field?

1:13 pm June, 7 massengill said...

McDonald’s Gen Y FryGuy

1:13 pm June, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

After the fifth try, Chris decide that the home lobotomy course just wasn’t worth the money.

1:23 pm June, 7 Vin Douchal said...

It’s SPORKMAN ! The human spork

1:23 pm June, 7 Vodka and Ground Beef said...

Ahh, I’ve forgotten how much I enjoy this blog. I’ve found my way back, and it’s glorious.

1:27 pm June, 7 Crucial Head said...

@Doc B,

.

I believe Gensler sited Four Prong as inspiration for their recent

tower in Shanghai.

1:34 pm June, 7 creature said...

also Boss, ‘he’ has no cockk!

1:40 pm June, 7 douchebag1 said...

Additional pics of Four Prong hitting on the hotties tomorrow that may (or may not) settle this debate.

.

– management

1:45 pm June, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

It was a four eyed four pronged creepy asian people eater. Follow the bouncing freak.

1:46 pm June, 7 scrotum pole said...

We may need Mr. White or other resident mathematicians to solve the four or five prong debate.

1:53 pm June, 7 Vin Douchal said...

This looks like Chas Bono’s bachelor party

1:55 pm June, 7 DarkSock said...

On the bright side, Pat’s vestical fingers sprouting from the skull manages to pull in free XM.

1:55 pm June, 7 massengill said...

There are clearly five prongs…

1:57 pm June, 7 DarkSock said...

Pat’s least popular invention was the skull-mounted cockk rack.

1:59 pm June, 7 DarkSock said...

‘My name is Pat, and I’ll be de-worming you ladies this evening.”.

2:02 pm June, 7 DarkSock said...

No, Pat; I told Vicki I’d like a cockk or two right about now…af

2:02 pm June, 7 creature said...

“That’s Pat”….. heh heh

Pat sports the first ever forehead mounted IUD

2:05 pm June, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“Pat is sporting the latest rage in head gear ensembles this evening with the 5-pronged beer opener. Our engineers are hard at work developing the six-pack and entire case openers that will be coming out later this year.”

2:06 pm June, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I guess we all know what Plinky’s mother’s French Tickler look like.

2:06 pm June, 7 Just Sayin said...

The spider web tat on the shoulder – that means that her vagina killed a lesbian in prison.

2:07 pm June, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Does this mean that when Pat wears a hat it fits like a glove?

2:16 pm June, 7 mr.reeve said...

Yeah, that’s a Pat for sure. I see a sports bra trying to hide those little Asian melons under the loose tie and unbuttoned shirt. My wife has a lesbian step sister and that’s a look I am familiar with.

As far as the hotties go…….BOOBS! Milk please.

2:17 pm June, 7 Turdacious said...

Nothing says classy more then a spider web and flying skull tatoo on a womens shoulder.

As to 4 prong i need some leaves raked up in my front yard.

Red!, in a minute or it would take a minute, cum see cum saw

2:17 pm June, 7 mr.reeve said...

And if it is a male Pat, dude needs to hit the gym and work on those bitch tits.

2:18 pm June, 7 DarkSock said...

From HUMCO, inventors of CheekPumpz Brand Fellatio Handlebars:

.

Ellie May Clamp-It’s Cunnilingus Pistol Grips!

2:37 pm June, 7 Crucial Head said...

^I have no idea what you just said DarkSock, but I have no choice but to fully support any comment with the words “fellatio handlebars” in it.

.

Gets me every time.

2:57 pm June, 7 Wedgie said...

Gotta fuccen love that kd lang.

3:16 pm June, 7 Victor von Douche said...

I guess Sum Dum Wang here won a big prize at the starcraft tournament and decided that he needed to call up some bitches to celebrate properly.

3:22 pm June, 7 DarkSock said...

It was this evening that Pat learned a hard lesson about the folly of spring-loaded toupees.

3:42 pm June, 7 Crucial Head said...

Queen Pat graciously accepted her tiara and begat her brutal reign of terror over those of less ambiguous gender characteristics.

5:22 pm June, 7 Horace Dangleballs said...

Reverend Chad Kroeger at 1:45 PM for the oldies tune win.

Why does this he/she have a rack of lamb surgically implanted into its forehead?

WAIT — make that “fivehead.”

6:06 pm June, 7 Scooby Douche said...

This photo is spectacular! The stripper on the left is so bored that she can’t wait to move on from this butt nad. The stripper on the right is smiling cause she just cleaned out his wallet. And this moron thinks they actually like him! These two are gonna be laughing about him for weeks, and he thinks he’s scoring points.

Men are so stupid.

7:36 pm June, 7 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

At first glance I thought the lady in the middle was putting up bunny ears behind his head. That would’ve been really cool.

11:07 pm June, 7 Wheezer said...

Why does our Wolverine wannabe have Jack Nicholson/Joker cheeks? Jokerine from Amalgam Comics? Dark Claw will be pissed.

.

“Ya ever dance with a douche in the pale moonlight?”

1:01 am June, 8 Patrick Doucheman said...

Yes! My first submission gets posted!

4:20 am June, 8 Steve L. said...

well, since DB1 promised more Hottie Bra Reveal, i better save my best jizz for later.

oh you mean more Prong attack?

why do i always get fucked over by Murphy’s Law?

5:12 am June, 8 DarkSock said...

Pat Middlesex (camera operator in Season 5 of “Deadliest Catch”), fully recovered from the long convalescence after falling head-first into a hold full of Alaskan King Crabs, now embarks on binge-spending 100% of the lawsuit winnings on high-minded ladies who don’t hate on seafood-skull-puncture victims.

5:14 am June, 8 DarkSock said...

Cthulu was deeply ashamed of his youngest son…

6:50 am June, 8 Deltus said...

More attention needs to be lavished on these hotts. And by lavished, I mean squirted. And by attention, I mean my man-butter.

7:30 am June, 8 Scrote Douche-N-Harmony said...

The one on the left is only 57 tattoos away from getting a phone call from Jesse James

8:06 am June, 8 my friends call me @$$hole said...

that thing on his head… that’s the fork he uses when he’s tossing salads…

12:10 pm June, 8 Douchey the Great said...

“This photo is spectacular! The stripper on the left is so bored that she can’t wait to move on from this butt nad. The stripper on the right is smiling cause she just cleaned out his wallet. And this moron thinks they actually like him!

———————————————

That’s all true, but the Hottie Bra Reveal needs to be considered for the Hall of Hott.

What can I say? I have a weakness for girls who like to clean out my wallet.

6:43 pm June, 8 Whoop-di-douche said...

While Red Hott may as well do red tatts on her tits, and Leopard Hott may as well do kit tatts on her tits,

Pitchfork Pronghead Pat might just as well do cockatiel tatts on his nits.

10:07 am June, 14 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

UTG is a different kind of douche, but alas his hott has the boobies of a hungry 9 year old in Eritrea. So I depart my normal DB-heavy side of the winner equation with n tip of the hat to the hott…in this case double hott. Four Prong for the win!

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