Wednesday, June 16, 2010
The Lake Crotch Cactii Approve
Jed and Barry, otherwise known as “The Lake Crotch Cactii,” have brought their latest Burning Man Hottie pickups, Julie and Michelle, by to say they approve of Four Prong and the K Sisters winning the Weekly.
You know what would confirm uberdoucheyness for The Lake Crotch Cactii?
If they ditched any pretense of interest in the ladies, got their bros together, and went around wearing “Maverick,” “Goose” and “Iceman” Top Gun t-shirts.
No. Even they couldn’t possibly do that.
That’s too douchey to be accounted for.
D’oh.
The Top Gun picture says more than my feeble mocking skills could ever imagine.
Her shirt should have an arrow pointing to her left.
Get it? Right under where it says “pink”..cuz he’s, uh…pink.
Meanwhile, Buffalo Beast and his beloved sister Buffalo Yeast stood by the shore, telepathically harmonizing to their favorite song:
.
“DANCE!
.
…. to the BOOGIE…
.
get…down….
.
.
.
Because – the Boogie Nights…
.
are.
.ALWAYS
the BEST…
.
.
.
.
In town!”
^Damn. I need a drink.
Almost three days of Ass Pear.
Why do I keep thinking one in the pink, two in the stink when I look at this picture?
Holy ghost of L. Ron Hubbard. These three are full of thetans. All they need is Tom Cruise and they have a four way sausage party.
And Pink has the start of a gunt but it is still entirely spoogeable.
And more of the unfinished ta.
Why do I have the feeling that this picture was taken right before a game of homo-erotic volleyball where the girls weren’t invited?
The teachable moment here is Iceman’s red tint…It is not from a bad tanning bed, but is one of the many side-effects of a steroid cycle. The second picture nicely illustrates this.
You think if a bomb hit lake havasu, society would care?
Also, these man-made looking lakes or quarries look to be a breeding ground for douchebags and bleeths.
Choad on the right has nuthin’ on me. Id stroll up to PINK hott and be like, “Hey baby, let me talk to you 4 reals.” And she’d be all over me n shit because Im the real deal (I’m GOOD at what I do).
I want to know what’s going on with Pink’s ladybits that merits the word “Kills” on her bikini bottom.
–
Remember people: Vulvas kill.
If solve the maze on left choad’s arm, the prize is blondie’s vulva.
–
I just like saying “vulva” today. It’s like “verve”: if you say it with enough gusto, the double v’s make your teeth vibrate a little.
Not for nothing, but the dude with the cock rails is wearing the wrong Top Gun t-shirt. He’d DEFINITELY be Maverick and not Goose.
–
–
On another note, these guys are WAY TOO OLD to be douching it up in this way. Now excuse me while I get back to work on my Douche/Bleeth killing virus.
So,.. three narcissistic Nancy-boys walk in to a bar…
The bartender says, “Hey West Hollywood is about 5 more miles down the road….”
@ MC 900 Foot Douchebag:
Oh, I get it–because Maverick is the one in the front, and Goose is always in the back? Ha ha, good one!
.
Definitely not Iceman, ’cause he likes the ladies…
“Playin! Playin with the boys!” Kenny Loggins Rules!!!
I cannot top that tshirt picture for mockitude.
@Mr. Reeve
Thank you for waiting until I was already at the liquor store for that. I feel dirty and thirsty and will not be able to drive for the remainder of the day.
That’s the gayest sight I’ve seen since E-Blo’s 5-way oily flex-off.
the meth is rampant.
Barry is pink because he donated his epidermis to construct Plinky’s Mom a new outer labia to replace the one she lost while humping the Deepwater Horizon rig.
Hey Iceman,Hello Kitty called and said there is no more pink than you.
Hey Iceman, Pepto Bismol said they’re gonna sue you for color infringement.
That guy is the same color as Soda Popinski.
Plinky has three crabs with those same names. Who’d ‘a thunk it?
De douchestibus non disputandum.
Pink-skin on the right tells me this guy
a) ingests krill
b) swallows too much Pept-Bismol after eating krill
c) Is embarrassed by the company he keeps
d) is chameleon following instructions on tee-shirt next to him
A full day in the hott filled city of Montreal, abso-fukken lutely fantastic french dinner (duck), two bottles of red wine, and the last thing I see is a buck toothed Iowan chick with a shirt aht says “I’m with Pink” She better not ride in teh boat or her 3-month old zygote is gonna drop out when they go over a wake or something.
.
I’m going to bed.
I’ll bet his dick is colored orange!
i can spend a total of 30 seconds educating either of these ladies on the evils of douchebaggery before losing all my linguistic faculties.
loss of linguistic faculties is the new premature ejaculation, yo.
and homemade stencils are the new asbestos poisoning.
i’ve just decided on the fly that those stencils must be made of asbestos and they must be suffering from asbestos poisoning. they fucking HAVE to be.
Why else would that blond drinking right out of the wine bottle be there? But then, there’s those t-shirts…
Nothing says white trash like a cut off t-shirt.
I like pink vag and river rat sluts when I am at the lake. Arizona’s finest!!!
To scrote on the right:
You. Are. Not. Pumpy. So quit trying to look like him. Even if you used up the rest of your bros’ D-bol and ate four 5 gallon buckets of bull testicles, it ain’t happenin.’
Pumpy sees you up in heaven. Zapping that plastic statue of Jesus was just a warm-up.