Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Pagoda 'Bag

Meditative.

Contemplative.

In the presence of huge tracts of firm, ripe and pluckened tazzlefruit that sway in the breeze, the Pagoda ‘Bag contemplates the meaning of a Vegas life.

And The Pagoda ‘Bag questions the limitations of the mortal mind in conceiving the God Arc of the infinite.

And that large mamms beat small mamms for ‘boatin’.

# posted by douchebag1
9:33 am June, 29 Wheezer said...

Pagoda ‘Bag contemplates waxing off later.

9:33 am June, 29 Wheezer said...

Oh, and boobies.

9:35 am June, 29 chaserofthehott said...

Sorry, I thought this site was called HOTchickswithdouchebags. I have to say this girl is trash, not hot. Just my opinion though.

9:38 am June, 29 Ned's Atomic Douchebin said...

Big, natural bahabahabahabahahooooooooobies!

9:43 am June, 29 Crucial Head said...

Meanwhile, the crane worked diligently to remove Plinky’s mom from the Krispy Kreme drive-thru.

9:44 am June, 29 Crucial Head said...

…aaaaaaaand bewbs!

9:46 am June, 29 the motley douche said...

Yes, he is douche. And yes she has a nice rack. Ok, fine.

But look, there are just certain times that a woman shouldn’t wear a bikini. And one of those times is after your second child sans wedlock, even though the baby’s daddy promises to marry her as soon as he finishes the autobody program at the local vo-tech.

9:47 am June, 29 Anonymous said...

Putting pregnant girls up is not okay good sir.

Or maybe I am just looking at some sort of caged whale in a pen, biding it’s time to take pictures with douches so that it may afford the next bucket of salmon.

We’ll never know….

9:49 am June, 29 Disconnected said...

I would caption this as:

“Suicide girl Stacy smiles awkwardly, what if Rob really is a photographer who can make her famous on the internet? Lifetime opportunities are so rare…”

Actually, that wasn’t so funny. I apologise.

9:57 am June, 29 Crucial Head said...

If you look closely at the reflection in the douchebag’s glasses, you will see John Tesh, rubbing lotion into his glistening, nude flesh as he casually tans by the pool – blissfully unaware of Samurai Scrote lurking in the shadows nearby, like a fly hovering over the corpulent flesh of a slug.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

… or you’ll just see a photographer.

9:58 am June, 29 Bagnonymous said...

Nice feeders.

9:58 am June, 29 DoucheBigue said...

I agree with the BEWBS 🙂

I disagree with her dog necklace.. ruining everything!

I approve background hotts on both pics! )) (grey bikini, blue bikini)

9:59 am June, 29 anonymous said...

That chick is in porn. Whitney Stevens.

9:59 am June, 29 bigphatnotadouche said...

She will be safe going into the pool with those floatation devices.

10:02 am June, 29 Crucial Head said...

@Anon 9:47

.

“…maybe I am just looking at some sort of caged whale in a pen.”

.

She’s fat?

.

Geezus. Hollywood has done more damage to our youth than I thought..

10:05 am June, 29 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Even though he’d mastered the art of catching shrimp tails in his “hair basket”, Pagoda Bag still didn’t get hired at the local Benihana the because he wasn’t “Asian” enough. At which point he rolled his shoulders and asked, “F’real?”

.

F’real, P-bag, f’real.

10:05 am June, 29 Mr. White said...

@disconnected

I liked it. Suicide Girls refs often lead to good comedy.

.

I’ve been as hard on the questionable hotts as anybody, but I’m going to defend Stacey. Yeah, those super-low rise pants might not have been her best choice, but hey, not all hotts can have bellies like Mila. And…

.

….sorry, I had to go savagely fwop to Mila for a few seconds. What the hell was I saying? Oh, right, Stacey has a little belly pooch, and the Suicide Girls look ain’t the most original thing going, but she’s got glorious real cans and a cute face, so I say lay off and enjoy her boobosity.

10:08 am June, 29 Mr. White said...

When he was younger, Pagoda Bag fantasized about the day he’d get revenge against the lacrosse team for giving him daily swirlies. But then one day he realized the best revenge was to show he just didn’t care, so he let his urine-soaked hair dry as-is and wore it as a badge of honor.

10:09 am June, 29 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

She is not fat. Are you shitting me? Seriousy. Natural breasts. Narrow waist with some actual hips. Seriously, not every hott has to be meth adict thin in order to qualify as attractive.

.

She looks more like marijuana flank steak. And I’m so down with that.

10:15 am June, 29 DarkSock said...

Slow motion camera was invented specifically to record her jogging.

.

Medical Fact.

10:17 am June, 29 DarkSock said...

She has crazy boobs. K-R-A-Z-Y dairy domes.

.

They mumble at night, and one of them joined the Tea Party, and the other one wants a tin foil bra to keep the government out.

.

Crazy honkers, I say.

10:18 am June, 29 DarkSock said...

I cannot explain how I know this to be true, but I am certain that if you reached over and honked one, it would go “AHHH-EEWWWW-GAAHHHHH”.

10:19 am June, 29 DarkSock said...

And Sir: you can’t stand there trying to look all hard and shit when it looks like Spongebob’s gonna fall out of your mouth next time you open it.

10:20 am June, 29 DarkSock said...

pooicide girls

10:25 am June, 29 Deltus said...

Boobies like those are what tit-fucking is all about.

10:35 am June, 29 smackdouche said...

She dances the line between Lacey Chabert innocent hot and brass pole swinging skank. And let’s be honest, is there a more glorious blend?

10:36 am June, 29 Troy Tempest said...

I checked. Anon 9:59 is correct. She’s the porn actress Whitney Stevens. We have a pro bleeth here folks – so never mind – move along – nothing to see here.

10:40 am June, 29 Bagnonymous said...

It would appear that the firm, ripe, and pluckened tazzlefruit seen above might indeed be one of the Stevens sisters (Britney & Whitney) of the pron industry. A perfectly reasonable career, I’d say, when you’re blessed with a sumptuous body like that.

10:40 am June, 29 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I shall be distracted by sweet, delectable boobie fruit as I contemplate holding Pagoda ‘Bag’s head under in the pool, at least until he stops twitching. Or something like that…

10:49 am June, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I think we have here the cheapest douchebag ever to grace this site. He made his “necklace” from his old bicycle chain? Really? I guess all those shop classes in high school really did pay off.

10:51 am June, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Buffalo Beast got to within mere feet on his prey before his fwapping tipped of the prey.

10:52 am June, 29 Ludacris Axehandle McCockkwielder said...

As some have mentioned, she is a porn star.

.

Well, he is also a porn star. This is Peter South.

11:03 am June, 29 Hapich said...

I actually did a search for Peter South. I am not very bright 🙁

11:28 am June, 29 chaserofthehott said...

I’m not saying she’s fat, and I’m not saying she’s ugly. I just think she’s trashy looking not hot. Hey, someone pointed out she’s a porn star, so that solidifies my observation and she fits the role perfectly. hahah…

1:05 pm June, 29 Mr. Biggs said...

Wow. Normally I’m not all about the club bags, as that’s like shooting fish in a barrel, but this guy is so … perfect. It’s douchitude zen perfected. This man is the master, Samurai Scrote has become the student.

2:13 pm June, 29 Fatness said...

Nice Pron Shave Reveal on Ms. Stevens.

.

I have no idea (nor do I care) who the ‘bag is but I’d like to see the pretty op-art patterns he would make coming out of the business end of a wood chipper.

2:51 pm June, 29 doucheywallnuts said...

If she’s a hott, she’s a sub-prime hott. Not my cup of tea, not a pig but certainly average at best. And these douchebags are depressing me today….

4:48 pm June, 29 uscrascal said...

to all those hating on the chick, i would have to say that she’s up there simply for the fact that she has those epic mammories… but you are right, she’s not hot. also, Pagoda bag and his bleethy boobtastic sidekick are not in Las Vegas… they are in LA. i have included a photo illustration to support my claim.

[IMG]http://i955.photobucket.com/albums/ae34/uscrascal/proofofLAdoucheandhugemamms.jpg[/IMG]

4:49 pm June, 29 uscrascal said...

sorry… here it is:

http://i955.photobucket.com/albums/ae34/uscrascal/proofofLAdoucheandhugemamms.jpg

6:48 pm June, 29 Euripidouche said...

i’d play with her bewbs so much her next next kid will be nursing on butter…the kid will put ez squeeze butter on his captain crunch and all the other kids will laugh.

6:49 pm June, 29 Steve L. said...

how many “night club promoter” stories did it take to get a pron star to be photographed with him?

7:30 pm June, 29 Ted said...

Porn actress Whitney Stevens. And she is pretty hot. Ridden with porn-guy VD perhaps, but hot nonetheless.

10:06 pm June, 29 Whoop-di-douche said...

HolyMarymotherof mammaries….

Now, now, we must not mock genuine titties, and hers are generous and genuine. and worth genuflecting over.

That’s why the porn industry exists.

11:57 pm June, 29 Douche Springsteen said...

this woman looks far from pregnant. As Craig Ferguson pointed out, “There’s a term for men who like women with a bit of meat on their bones. It’s called ‘heterosexual'”.

12:37 am June, 30 lucious lupus john thinks these two would be better served hanging out at a roller rink than a pool that they can not use because it would ruin their hair. said...

two people who can not enjoy a pool because it would ruin their hair. it must be traumatizing.

12:52 am June, 30 lucious lupus john and yeah said...

and yeah, wait a macgyver. i spy—the hollywood hills!

and quite possibly–the sunset strip skyline! wtf! i won’t even say it. but it does look like a hotel roof top pool, so maybe they are out of towners, but you know, a lot of locals wind up at hotel roof top pools because there is a party going on with some out of town guest. could this be yet another face of the l.a. vortex of douche? i’ll figure it out. the london maybe??? wow. i do believe this is the london in west hollywood.

1:04 am June, 30 lucious lupus john and yeah said...

my guess is these guys have really expensive clothes that are made to look as cheap and douchey as possible because that is how they roll. i am getting flashbacks of “pecker”

1:10 am June, 30 lucious lupus john and yeah said...

ahhh, uscrascal cracked the code before i did. nice!!! yes, a classic l.a. douche. that he be, argghhh.

i love l.a. god damit

and i love living in the city

1:37 am June, 30 lucious lupus john and yeah said...

actually i have read and reread the messages (sorry, drunk and typing with a hand sometimes) so it took a while, but it seems, to recap for those at the bottom of the board, that she is pron and the guy is a douche.

and everyone had a killer quip, but this one made me spit out my steel kettle, and nothing gets between me an my steel kettle:

>>>She has crazy boobs. K-R-A-Z-Y dairy domes.

.

They mumble at night, and one of them joined the Tea Party, and the other one wants a tin foil bra to keep the government out.

.

Crazy honkers, I say.<<<

so to dark socks and all of you, i give you a toast of this.

7:29 am June, 30 Anonymous said...

You guys are nuts. She has a luscious bod.

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