Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Benny the Roadie Choadie

Count the douche signifiers on Benny:

Duck-bill hat tilt + mandana on forehead. Six pound watch. “Rocker” hand gesture. Chin-pube dribble flying like a Gerber Baby in mid death rattle.

Watch as Benny pulls his “I’m with the band” game on Patricia.

Patricia gives off that seductive, “I’ll spank your bare bottom with a half chewed Fruit Roll-Up while you scream out ‘Surrender Dorothy!,’ then watch Adult Swim with you until you pass out in a puddle of drool on my Hello Kitty pillow” vibe.

And I approve of just such a sequence.

# posted by douchebag1
2:29 pm June, 2 End the Haberdouchery said...

I want to choke him with her hair extensions. She really nails the look that says “I’ve been used more times than the scooters at Wal-Mart and I can insert the top 14 inches of a fire hydrant into my vagina”

2:31 pm June, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Benny appears to be having seconds thoughts about the night’s “festivities” as he spies the ebola virus trying to work its way out of her arm.

2:31 pm June, 2 Thorax Hammersmith said...

“Chin-pube dribble flying like a Gerber Baby in mid death rattle.”

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Salty fuccen tears, Boss.

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Brilliant.

2:32 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

@End The Haberdouchery,

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“I can insert the top 14 inches of a fire hydrant into my vagina.”

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Heh heh.

2:33 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

…anyone else in here need their cockk sucked while I’m at it??

2:34 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

… Doc B? I’m looking at you.

.

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**Wink, wink, nudge, nudge**

2:45 pm June, 2 Scroteophobic said...

Doe she do her fire hydrant trick before or after removing Benny from it? You can see by the set of his shoulders that he’s carrying that hydrant with him now.

2:47 pm June, 2 mr.reeve said...

Benny and Patricia are typical Hollywood trash.

Patricia will blow anyone if she thinks she can meet the band. Benny’s lucky night I guess.

2:53 pm June, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Crucial

.

Since you’re down there already …

2:55 pm June, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

After 4 years with no new creativity, Flea pulled an Anthony Keidis imitation and brought this lovely skank out to convince people finally that the band was not as flaming as Perez Hilton. He figured he’d try hetero and realized his mistake when his Pepper became Red Hot. He shouldn’t touch Dave Navarro’s castaways.

3:14 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

Cockupine: (n) – A female that, if she had as many dicks sticking out of her that have been stuck in her, would look like a porcupine made out of bratwursts.

3:17 pm June, 2 Turdacious said...

hmmm, shes got so much pancake batter on her face ” if thats what it is” she almost got all the herp sores covered up..

3:21 pm June, 2 Turdacious said...

oooops sorry no herp sore, thats just a food particle projectile that hit my screen in a strategic spot.

hmmm, which douchebag pic did i click on for that to happen?.

note to self, HCWDB is off limits during lunch

3:21 pm June, 2 massengill said...

Patricia gives off that skanky, “Even my crabs have an aggressive, Valtrex-resistant strain of herpes thought only to thrive in apartment complex jacuzzis around the Florida State University campus.

3:21 pm June, 2 massengill said...

” vibe.

3:22 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

Patricia: Paris Hilton called; she wants you to walk around next to her so she looks less sluttly.

.

Bennie: Perez Hilton called; he wants to gargle your ballsac and finger your various household pets.

3:22 pm June, 2 Turdacious said...

I think i’ll leave it there just for her, it turns into a cindy super model mole when i move the picture,,,NICE!

3:23 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

Patricia is so skanky she douches with old mayonnaisse.

3:23 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

Patricia is so skanky you need a crab fishing license just to take her on a first date.

3:24 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

Patricia is so skanky she shorted out her handset while trying to have phone sex.

3:24 pm June, 2 Turdacious said...

@End the Haberdouchery

Funny!

3:25 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

Patricia is so skanky the batteries her vibrator uses is DieHard.

3:25 pm June, 2 smackdouche said...

Me like Skank Factor 10!!

3:25 pm June, 2 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

Patricia’s real name is actually Pat. Yea, that’s right. She’s a HE!

.

…I’d still pee in her frijole hole.

3:26 pm June, 2 Turdacious said...

Patricia is so skanky when she went camping once, scientist thought they were tracking a giant snail

3:27 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

Patricia is so skanky her dildo is made out of water-soluble Valtrex.

3:28 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

Patricia is so skanky she has to ride bikes standing up

3:29 pm June, 2 Turdacious said...

particia is so skanky, her bicycle seat vanishes with in seconds

3:29 pm June, 2 Turdacious said...

lol, you beat me

3:31 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

Patricia is so skanky that the last time Benny went down on her he saw some guy walking around in her vagina with a flashlight. Benny said “What are you looking for?!? He responded “My keys!” Benny, incredulous, asked “You lost your KEYS in her vagina?” The guy responds “What’s worse is I can’t remember where I parked my car in here either”.

.

.

.

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sorry

3:31 pm June, 2 Turdacious said...

Patricia is so skanky even Xenu will not tap that, he loves his junk too much to even chance it

3:32 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

Patricia is so skanky she uses Snooki as a butt plug.

3:32 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

Patricia is so skanky she gets dosed with Valtrex via crop-duster.

3:33 pm June, 2 Turdacious said...

Patricia is so skanky , plumbers come out to replace the pipes, but never a clog

3:35 pm June, 2 Turdacious said...

there really is a hole that goes all the way to china, its at the DMV office in Pahrump, Nevada where Patricia waited for the next available clerk

3:42 pm June, 2 Turdacious said...

And mean while back at the farm, The dude looks like mega douche Criss Angel..no?

3:48 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

Patricia’s so skanky her queefs sound like applause in an auditorium made of metal trashcan lids.

3:49 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

Patricia’s so skanky her OB/GYN has to use a bulldozer.

3:50 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

Patricia’s so skanky her PAP Smear’s fester and start their own nudist colonies in the lesser known Baltic States.

3:53 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

Patricia’s so skanky she has an abortion clinic set up in her uterus.

3:53 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

Patricia’s so skanky her OB/GYN has to use cross-cuntry skies.

.

.

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sorry

3:54 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

Patricia’s so skanky her vibrator is 4-wheel drive

3:54 pm June, 2 Turdacious said...

Patricia is so skanky, Darksock won’t pee in anyhole

3:54 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

Patricia’s so skanky her vibrator is an epileptic kid sealed in a Rubbermaid trash can with a flashing Nintendo game.

3:55 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

Patricia’s so skanky she can only climax when a feral elephant sticks its trunk inside her belly button.

3:55 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

Patricia’s so skanky her vibrator is a carpenter named Saul throwing claw hammers at her clitoris.

3:56 pm June, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Patricia is so skanky the city changed to undergound wiring.

3:56 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

Patricia’s so skanky she makes money on the side allowing skate park molds to be cast in her vagina.

3:56 pm June, 2 DarkSock said...

Patricia’s so skanky she has a vaginormous.

3:57 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

Patricia’s so skanky she made love to her twin brother… while still in the womb.

3:57 pm June, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Patricia is so skanky the all searches for Amelia Earheadt have been ended due to humidity and bats.

3:58 pm June, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Patricia is so skanky that George Clooney has a location for his next villa.

4:07 pm June, 2 mr.reeve said...

Patricia’s so skanky while visiting Hawaii last summer they used her labia for a luau on the beach that night.

4:09 pm June, 2 Turdacious said...

Patricia is so skanky her vag has its own zip code

4:12 pm June, 2 Victor von Douche said...

Wow, a perfect poster boy example of a douche with a perfect example of a skank who’s spent more time being fucked in the alley outside a club (before it got closed down thanks to a staph outbreak it was linked to) than she can recall.

4:13 pm June, 2 Turdacious said...

patricia is so skanky when Genghis Khan came calling, he decided it was going to be too much work and BBQ’d instead.

little side note..Mongolian bbq

4:28 pm June, 2 Victor von Douche said...

Patricia is so skanky batman has a hideout in her snatch.

4:51 pm June, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Patricia is so skanky that the “blonds” from the previous post actually look good.

4:53 pm June, 2 Deltus said...

Patricia is so skanky George Lucas patterned the Sarlac after her nethers.

4:54 pm June, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Patricia is so skanky that her her va jay-jay became the municipal cockwash for the entire California penal system.

4:54 pm June, 2 Deltus said...

Patricia is so skanky her OB/GYN brings a sack of rotting meat to huff on when he needs a break from the stench of her crotch.

4:56 pm June, 2 Deltus said...

Patricia is so skanky she can only douche using a 6-inch firehose, support latticework, and a sherpa.

4:56 pm June, 2 End the Haberdouchery said...

Patricia is so skanky she once did a bukkake film with Paraguay.

4:56 pm June, 2 Deltus said...

Patricia is so skanky when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND THE HOUSE.

.

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sorry

4:58 pm June, 2 massengill said...

Patricia’s so skanky her vibrator is a ’69 Nova clone.

4:59 pm June, 2 Deltus said...

Patricia is so skanky Criss Angel turned her down because she was below his standards.

5:00 pm June, 2 Deltus said...

Patricia is so skanky she trained an elephant to stomp-fuck her just to keep her business in “fighting trim”.

5:07 pm June, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Patricia is so skanky she can’t get work as a stripper anymore because she keeps getting stuck to the pole.

5:09 pm June, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Patricia is so skanky that she’d doesn’t get a camel toe, she gets a whale fluke.

5:09 pm June, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Patricia is so skanky that Plinky’s mom went “Whoa, that bitch IS skankier than me.”

5:19 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

Patricia’s so skanky the Vatican spontaneously combusted when she road her Vespa carefully around the rim of the Pantheon’s oculus.

5:20 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

Patricia’s so skanky she uses Plinky’s mom as a butt plug.

5:20 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

Patricia’s so skanky her safe word is “anal.”

5:21 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

Patricia’s so skanky she uses a string of crawfish traps and buoys for Ben-Wa stimulation.

5:24 pm June, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Patricia is so skanky the last shuttle missions crash land in her cave.

5:24 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

Patricia’s so skanky her spleen has a yeast infection.

5:24 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

Patricia’s so skanky she has to pee through her nipples.

5:25 pm June, 2 Turdacious said...

Patricia is so skanky she was Robert Clyde Rodriguez last human sexual contact

http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_15210991?source=most_viewed

5:28 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

Patricia’s so skanky her asshole has a vagina in it. It looks like a toothless lamprey choking on a healthy pull of Skoal.

5:29 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

Patricia’s so skanky Tiger Woods said “no thanks.”

5:29 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

Patricia’s so skanky her blood type is “semen.”

5:30 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

Patricia’s so skanky her favorite sexual position is “alive”.

5:30 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

Patricia’s so skanky she downloads penis (penii??) from ITunes.

5:32 pm June, 2 Crucial Head said...

Patricia’s so skanky her safe word is: “if you stop I will kill you, your mother, your father, your children, and your children’s children.”

5:41 pm June, 2 notadouche said...

superdouche, but at least he’s staring at her tits instead of the camera

6:11 pm June, 2 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Patricia’s so skanky Carlos Slim Helu, Bill Gates AND Warren Buffett don’t have enough put together to pay for her labiaplasty.

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http://www.labiaplastysurgeon.com/labiaplasty-photos.html

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The 2nd “After Hours” reference this week? I think I know what move the DB1 watched over the holiday weekend.

6:33 pm June, 2 Baleen said...

Patricia’s so skanky that she gets her maxi pads from Serta.

6:38 pm June, 2 Baleen said...

Patrica’s so skanky that in the morning, her anus resembles a chili dispenser from James Coney Island.

6:43 pm June, 2 Baleen said...

Patricia’s so skanky that the doctor hauled of her recently removed hemmorhoid by a stable of Clydesdales.

6:50 pm June, 2 Baleen said...

Paticia’s so skanky that she actually grossed out G.G. Allen

6:50 pm June, 2 Baleen said...

“Allin” DOH!

8:43 pm June, 2 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@DarkSock ^3:55

“Claw hammers at her clitoris”

Ahhaahahahahahaha! Snort!

8:50 pm June, 2 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

^All the posts above

AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

.

sniff

.

Cough

.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Salty. Fukken. Tears.

9:08 pm June, 2 Mr. Biggs said...

Benny is a douche’s douche. He pretends he’s a douche like douches pretend they’re rock stars. Or some n-level recursion of mimicry.

9:11 pm June, 2 Mr. Biggs said...

Patricia’s so skanky Banksy’s thinking of doing a mural in her vag to relieve urban decay.

9:18 pm June, 2 Victor von Douche said...

Patricia’s so skanky that she wonder’s why her gynecologist’s suit says HAZMAT on it, she wonders if he is perhaps from the middle east?

9:38 pm June, 2 Whoop-di-douche said...

Patricia’s so skanky, she puts the appointment-call vibrator up her pussy while waiting her turn at the VD clinic.

9:39 pm June, 2 Whoop-di-douche said...

Patricia’s so skanky, she uses leftover peroxide to clean her syph chancres after she does her hair.

9:40 pm June, 2 Whoop-di-douche said...

Patricia’s so skanky, she picks up douchebags to be her houseboys.

9:46 pm June, 2 Whoop-di-douche said...

Benny holds out his hand for Patricia to load up her blonde-hair-yarn onto his fingers for knitting that little ballcover she promised him after shaving his nutz clean last week at the pool party, wherein his pubes clogged up the drain and caused the whirlpool to choke.

True story. Heard it from the plumber.

10:15 pm June, 2 Mr. Biggs said...

Patricias so skanky her crabs have evolved their own cave drawings

10:45 pm June, 2 Baleen said...

Patricia’s so skanky that her vag looks like a half eaten french dip sandwich at the bottom of some deli’s dumpster.

12:29 am June, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

Patricia’s so skanky her vibrator has a kickstand.

12:29 am June, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

Patricia’s so skanky her vibrator has a pull cord.

12:30 am June, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

Patricia’s so skanky her vibrator beeps when she pulls it out.

12:30 am June, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

Patricia’s so skanky her vibrator is Michael J. Fox in a Hefty bag.

12:31 am June, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

Patricia’s so skanky, the engineers at BP can’t close her knees.

12:33 am June, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

Patricia’s so skanky Stackhouse jumped off.

12:36 am June, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

Patricia’s so skanky she treats her crabs with seagulls.

12:42 am June, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

Patricia’s so skanky her urine is stringy.

12:43 am June, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

Patricia’s so skanky her OB/GYN is missing four fingers.

12:50 am June, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

Patricia’s so skanky her butthole opened a Denny’s.

12:53 am June, 3 Baron Von Goolo said...

so wait…who’s Patricia?

6:39 am June, 3 Tony Ventresca said...

Some really good comments, guys. Just the laughs I needed this morning.

.

Anyone got any more photos of this hott?

7:22 am June, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Patricia is so skanky that all the free clinics charge $10 now.

7:27 am June, 3 DarkSock said...

BvG 12;29 thru 12:50 = win

To answer your question “Who is Patricia?”…I forgot.

4:06 pm June, 3 armydouche said...

DB1 you forgot the bling, and what is probably not but still douchey T-shirt. Farther to my last is mutipul rings (especially a thumb ring, totally uncalled for…) a sign of baggery?

4:07 pm June, 3 armydouche said...

forgot to proof read that should be …probably not Ed Hardey, but still douchey….

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