Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The Sharkbag Plucks His Goose

HCwDB of the Week contender The Sharkbag wants this thing bad. So bad, he’s getting auto-fellated with one of the key douche signifiers, Runnin’ With the Goose.

Note the fascination on young Joey’s face as he learns to douche from a true master.

But Star Blazer isn’t taking this one lying down, busting out the classic douche move: The iPhone bathroom mirror self portrait.

Who will win the HCwDB of the Week?

Yup, I’m pimpin’ this worse than a crack ho’ in post-recession Detroit.

# posted by douchebag1
12:30 pm June, 1 bigphatnotadouche said...

I’m sure that bottle is cold on his private parts. As if his private parts where anywhere near that bottle.

The bottle looks empty to me. His buddy is looking for a quick reach around.

12:32 pm June, 1 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Does Joey have a bionic arm? If so I’ll take the foil from a stick of gum and short circuit it so that it does nothing but continually bitch slap Sharky.

.

As for Star Blazer, fill the sink with warm water and add LOTS of salt. Now, strip the wire bare that’s connected to the phone. Now drop phone in sink. Voila’, dunzo.

12:48 pm June, 1 DoucheBigue said...

Actually Star Bladder shows off with the only IPhone which is not wireless.

This bathroom self portait is really toxic – and there is not even a hott to rest our eyes on!!

I appreciate the efforts from Stardouche to use camouflage to mitigate the effects but he fails.

12:55 pm June, 1 Scrötinger’s Cat said...

That one fat pussy in the back… not the hott.

12:56 pm June, 1 Scrötinger’s Cat said...

That one fat pussy in the back… not the hott.

1:00 pm June, 1 G. Gorgeous Clitty said...

Arthur strapped on the empty Goose, grasped Leonard’s shoulder and thrust forth his groin with all he could muster – sending the bottle bursting through Leo’s splayed groin and into the salivating lips of Myrna.

1:13 pm June, 1 JeanClaudeVanDouche said...

Darth Douche shows his young apprentice that grey goose does not refer to pinching an 84 year old man on the buttocks.

.thanks SS thread! XD

1:16 pm June, 1 DarkSock said...

Here Sharkbag demonstrates the concept of Pavlovian Response.

1:17 pm June, 1 DarkSock said...

Shouldn’t that be an airplane bottle of Goose?

1:20 pm June, 1 Walrus Whisker said...

The threesome had barely begun, and yet Geoffrey was already jealous of Ethel’s position.

1:34 pm June, 1 Bag Margera said...

I really fucking hate Sharkbag… but at least he’s putting in effort now. Girl wtf is wrong with you? Cant you see your supporting bestiality by sucking on Sharkbags cartilage cock?

1:34 pm June, 1 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Hmmm. Thought the Ed Hardy condom would be more like, oh I don’t know, a condom.

1:35 pm June, 1 Deltus said...

Sharkbag’s friend is intensely jealous. He wants to be mouthing Sharky’s Grey Goose dick.

This picture just confirms for me that I was right in choosing Sharko as my horse in the race. That, and I can still picture Renee’s boobilies in my mind.

1:38 pm June, 1 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@DarkSock,

This may be what the actual Underwear Bomb looked like. I heard the bomber experienced severe crotch burns. There’s a warning for that on every Goose bottle.

.

Of course you have to be able to read.

1:39 pm June, 1 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Deltus^

.

I like to picture her boobs in my hands.

2:40 pm June, 1 anonymous said...

My heart bleeds for her. Ten years from now, having finished that Ph.D. in English Lit that she has promised her parents is her goal, she will be entering on a stellar career in academia, only to have this photo surface during her tenure consideration.

Ambitious and talented young women of America, take note.

2:49 pm June, 1 Turdacious said...

This picture reminds me of a Tommy Lee/ Ozzie Osbourne story

Ozzie said he looked over Tommys shoulder whilst he was getting blowed and said it looked like a babys arm with a boxing glove on.

This here is sicker

2:52 pm June, 1 Turdacious said...

Her neck is almost in position for the axe to fall

Sharkbag the Executioner

3:12 pm June, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Wrong. Just wrong. Pissing with the goose.

4:47 pm June, 1 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

One hammer, please. I’ve a bottle to break.

4:48 pm June, 1 Stephanie said...

Gee, their Mom’s must be proud of them…

5:37 pm June, 1 lucious lupus john doesn't understand why americans allow this to happen to their youth said...

yes, if ever there was a time to kick him in the nuts, it would be now. i think that would be the punk rock thing to do.

5:41 pm June, 1 Turdacious said...

The threesome turned into an awkward and bumbling non sexual event

5:42 pm June, 1 soy bomb said...

It’s always a treat (curse) to watch a legend (-ary douchetard) bloom (get swole) in front of our eyes (mock lenses). The hallowed Hall of Scrote awaits you, my friend (bane).

9:38 pm June, 1 Victor von Douche said...

Am i the only one with a massive urge to smack down on the bottle, crushing this bag’s bag?

9:39 pm June, 1 Whoop-di-douche said...

When yer done with that Grey Goose bottle, I’d like to take it to my lamp repair guy to fashion into a bar-light.

Just sayin’ dibs and all that.

9:41 pm June, 1 Victor von Douche said...

PS who get’s piercings in their lips except dumbasses? Not only does he have the shark fin hairdo, but a hook in his mouth as well. This piscine horror is bound for (as another astute commenter said) the hall of scrote.

11:05 pm June, 1 Wheezer said...

Sharkbag pulls out this move and Starblazer can only reply with the retread tatt reveal? Starblazer, did you learn nothing from Smoot, or are you content to ride his coattails (and rattail)?

11:46 pm June, 1 Baron Von Goolo said...

It’s real different when you put the bottle in front, iddnit Sharkey?

Jeebus swept! I officially revoke all the slack I cut this leering punchinello when I voted for him in the weekly. Just the slack, mind you. The vote counts more than ever.

6:33 am June, 2 Tony Ventresca said...

Shark is a faker. He puts on the punker stylings like a stripper puts on makeup and he makes certain to stay the hell away from any nightclubs in which he might meet real punkers or fringe society folks, since he knows they’d instantly recognize he’s a faker and kick his ass.

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