Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Tuesday Limerick

George glares like he’s true Gangsta Bra’,

While Bald Guy enjoys a Stella Artois,

Tough Guys on the Island,

They’re big fans of Scott Weiland,

While Francoise and her boobs like Foie Gras.

Yup. Just remembered why I don’t do more of these things. Take your best shot (and blow mine away) in the comments threads.

# posted by douchebag1
11:48 am June, 29 Veni, Vidi, Douchey said...

Boobs. Also, Bald Guy kind of looks like the lead singer in an REM tribute band . .

Shiny happy douchebags posing . .

Meet me in the crowd

Douchebag douchebags

Show your tatts around

Pos-ing, pos-ing

Tan is fake brown

Douchey douchey

Put it in Jersey Town

Where the guidos grow

Gold and silver chains

Stopped here due to copyright considerations, and that I’m lazy and unimaginative.

11:50 am June, 29 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

There once was a gay ‘bag in the back.

He loved George, and hated the girl with the rack.

He tried as he could,

To not get wood.

But George’s spikey ‘do made his schlong react.

.

.

-Amerigo Vesdouchey

12:01 pm June, 29 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

There once was a pretend rocker

Who liked to throw the shocker

The girl with the rack

Knew music skills he did lack

So he decided to tell everyone he plays soccer

12:04 pm June, 29 Anonymous said...

Douchebag gang signs like a newbie,

He saw it once in a movie,

While the baldy in back,

prepare a small snack,

My eyes are transfixed on some boobies.

12:07 pm June, 29 Vin Douchal said...

Glance into the life of a choad

Flashing last century’s cool guy code

She’s removing his hand

In a gesture most grand

His breath smells like a huge canine load

12:10 pm June, 29 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

I like the view of the camera

That cleavage makes me shout out ‘Hoorah!’

But the Douche with the shocker

Is a real cock-blocker

So lets get this to Photoshop, lah-ti-dah!

12:11 pm June, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Buffalo Beast takes a pee

With a cocck that hangs down to his knees

With a turn to his left

He was surprisingly deft

And he killed all of the dickcheese

12:13 pm June, 29 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

That douche has a gi-normous watch

Its weight on his skin must leave a blotch

But his Hott has a rack

That has taken me aback

So fuc him with a kick in the crotch!

12:13 pm June, 29 Vin Douchal said...

A Seth Green look alike most slimey

With his Michael Stipe boyfriend, a Limey

If I pose in this way

Mom won’t find out I’m gay

That I take the big one up the hiney

12:15 pm June, 29 Crucial Head said...

This douchebag prepares his best shocker

But the hott has become a cockk blocker

So the douche must wait

Until she slinks away

So he can give baldy in his hairy prodder.

12:16 pm June, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Douche with no hair gets irate

As Red with the mams steals his date

He’s resign to go home

And be all alone

And use tweezers to masturbate.

12:17 pm June, 29 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Her smile and cans say Vixen.

His sign and watch say ‘Dick’s On’

So I would steal her away

For a roll in the hay

And bury him alive right next to Nixon.

12:19 pm June, 29 Anonymous said...

Fingers flash, with no ring and no thumb,

As he reaches to pull out Red’s plums.

Baldy looks on with wide eyes

‘Cause he found the surprise,

Those two fingers broke off in his bum!

12:19 pm June, 29 Vin Douchal said...

A big tittied Hilary Swank

Makes you want to pull it out and crank

This douche ballon knot

Really fucks up the shot

Hope that dude in the back has a shank

12:20 pm June, 29 Crucial Head said...

She sports such a fine set of cleavage

Causes erectile functioning seepage

Now I’m stuck at my desk

With a lap full of mess

Guess I’ll clean it up with my sleeve edge.

12:21 pm June, 29 Vin Douchal said...

ballon= balloon,…. yeesh , proof read ya boob

12:23 pm June, 29 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Unemployment has made me a savant

with the Limericks and Haikus that I want

So I write many tricks

In hopes DB1 picks

For front page fame to rant (<< say it like Thurston Howell)

12:24 pm June, 29 Crucial Head said...

This couple poses without even knowing

That behind them Baldy’s seeds are a sowing

All over their backs

Baldy’s semen attacks

The smell leaving bag’s weenus a growing.

12:26 pm June, 29 Mr. White said...

Behold the sweet red-headed vixen

I’d love to get quite a few licks in

But then pfah appeared

And the vest douche, he reared

Then the blood drained from my stick pin

12:27 pm June, 29 chaserofthehott said...

Rosary beads show he’s a nice guy

But the shocker does show that he’s sly

But a bag is bag

And her boobs don’t a sag

Though her cleavage it maketh me cry

12:27 pm June, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“I run with the Goose” says this choad

While gargling bald douche’s load

“I’m just here for the beer”

Says Red with a sneer

“And you’ll never touches these you toad.”

.

.

Fuckk that last line was lame.

12:28 pm June, 29 Crucial Head said...

Douchebag sports a watch that is huge

To accent the fact he’s a stooge

And likely for free

He’ll say “yes please”

To gargling with another man’s spooge.

12:28 pm June, 29 Elephant tits Gerald said...

There once was a spike-haired testicle,

Who’s anus was a semen receptacle,

While the bald guy named Ken,

Starts to pummel him again,

They ignore the near-perfect chesticles.

12:29 pm June, 29 Crucial Head said...

“Gargling” being the theme today, eh Doc?

12:33 pm June, 29 Crucial Head said...

Brunette has a fine set of tittays

That stir my loins in a good way

I want to motorboat

And finish on her throat

Until she told me to please go away.

12:33 pm June, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

With cheeks full of spooge he doth say

“No really, It’s not that I’m gay”

But Baldy he knows

That the douche does but blows

at The Toolbox bar glory hole all day.

.

@ Crucial

I guess “great” minds think alike?

12:35 pm June, 29 Crucial Head said...

Douchebag’s look is cocky and smug

While he hopes hott takes date-rape drug

But she’ll spit it out

And leave him to pout

And be consoled from behind by man-hug.

12:37 pm June, 29 Medusa Oblongata said...

A redhead with huge plastic tits

met up with a couple of twits

she offered her digits

they started to fidget

’cause chicks with no dicks are the pits.

12:37 pm June, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Baldy whistles a tune

While eating porch beef with a spoon

For he knows that it’s true

His friend’s balls will be blue

‘Cause he’ll never get close to her poon.

12:40 pm June, 29 Crucial Head said...

Brunette makes me want to jack off a pet

She best warn her gardener I’m not the Vet

But the dog will be fine

Once I’ve milked his slime

For her I’d do it and never regret.

12:42 pm June, 29 Vin Douchal said...

In the line forming outside the spa

Giant bolt-ons that needs them no bra

Say that three times fast

As you tickle her ass

And your cockk juice explodes a “Hurrah !”

12:42 pm June, 29 Medusa Oblongata said...

I see a familiar face

he’s the dude from that show ‘Will And Grace’

Whoopie! He’s gay

now get out of the way

I’ll have that chick squirting like mace

12:45 pm June, 29 Medusa Oblongata said...

Boobies, tits, knockers, milk bubbles

hooters, gazongas, D-Doubles

mommy bags, rack

jubblies, kid snack

my drawers are all wet, I’m in trouble.

12:48 pm June, 29 Vin Douchal said...

I’d tear her up like miles of bad road

And I know where I’d aim my load

When it’s out and spent

It’ll meet at the tangent

Of those huge globes of which she’s bestowed

12:50 pm June, 29 Bagnonymous said...

While hanging backstage at the show

Francesca was all smiles aglow,

For she knew she was blessed

With a really nice chest,

As confirmed by a guy she doesn’t know.

12:51 pm June, 29 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

A blowup of this pic will reveal

what looks like a bottle of blue with the d-bag heal

What is that drink?

It may as well be pink!

And sorta makes me wanna ki-ill

12:52 pm June, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Crucial Head with fingers so nimble

Can make a dog cum in a thimble

Baldy calls out “I’m next”

As he pulls down his kecks*

But his tiny cockk was imperceptible.

.

.

* = I can’t believe I had to resort to Scottish slang. Kecks are slang for underwear.

12:53 pm June, 29 Baron Von Goolo said...

A choad way less cool than Kip Winger

Scored a hott that’s a real humdinger.

Too bad that she’s gotta

Vagina dentata.

Now he’s missing a thumb and a finger.

12:53 pm June, 29 Crucial Head said...

Medusa 12:45 for the win!

Makes me want to commit carnal sin

Watching Medusa and hott

Eat each other and whatnot

I’d explode into a lotioned napkin.

12:54 pm June, 29 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

She smiles like what she really wants is me

As if into her butt I could pee

But that would stir Mr. White

and could lead to a fight

So let Mr. White pee, I agree.

12:58 pm June, 29 End the Haberdouchery said...

Alice went to community college

To further her quest for knowledge.

There she met Chad,

who lives off his dad

A douche in eternal vassalage.

Word of the day, look it up.

1:02 pm June, 29 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Baldy in the back seems bewildered

That the douchebag leans off-kilter

‘Cause Baldy had douche ass

And hit it hard with no class

And thought the roughness would’ve kilt ‘her’

1:03 pm June, 29 Bagnonymous said...

Medusa doth long for the beaver,

With her musings of lesbian fever.

With those thoughts I have spurt,

All my baby yogurt.

For a 3-some with them I’d be eager!

1:04 pm June, 29 Pömmelhorse Pümmelfister said...

Baldy’s O-face is quite unnerving

Looks like he’s in the midst of perving

Seeing ‘bags from the back

Makes him want to whack

His wiener while covert observing.

1:07 pm June, 29 Baron Von Goolo said...

A douchebag named DJ Ice Gecko

Plied a hottie with beer and Prosecco.

But it turned out his Venus

Had a fourteen inch penis

And now his farts make their own echo.

1:07 pm June, 29 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

This story of a Vixen with a chest

Hit upon by a douchebag in a vest

Is perplexing I dare say

because he looks oh so gay

Maybe this is simply a jest?

1:10 pm June, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

A vest with a t-shirt, c’mon!

You look and smello like a prawn

Don’t fritter away

The rest of the day

Now get back to cutting my lawn.

1:10 pm June, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

smello????? How about only “smell”

1:12 pm June, 29 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

On her necklace it appears that there’s a ‘Z’

And while you think ‘Pee’, my story will use Wii

Cause she is Zena warrior princess

carrying a chest of excess

Oh, all right, call in Mr. White for the Pee

1:17 pm June, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Medusa sidles up and says “Hello”

To Red whose boobs shake like Jell-O

“Now that I’m here,

Let’s ditch the queers.

Now’s not the time to be mellow.”

1:17 pm June, 29 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Those breast make me want to fwap soon

If I don’t, I’ll turn into a goon.

I’d hit on Mrs. Doucheifelt

With my all, my everything, including my belt

But her headache would put a stop to my swoon.

1:18 pm June, 29 Vin Douchal said...

@ Dr B HD

.

A douche leans in and offers “Hello”

My you’ve a lovely smello

Two fingers of slit

The other of shit

“I just banged this chick!” he doth bellow

1:20 pm June, 29 Deltus said...

Sorry, I’m distracted by her boobage. Can’t rhyme right now.

1:21 pm June, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Vin

.

I knew somebody with a keener intellect than mine could find a use for “smello”.

1:21 pm June, 29 360 said...

1:03 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78RncIR35Lk

1:22 pm June, 29 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Do you think 10 Limericks is a bunch?

After all, it is barely a bit past lunch

But red hair and tits

Are my two favorite hits

So I will write of her, if I can’t have her to munch

1:27 pm June, 29 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

At a hostel in some Chzech republic

Dane Cook murdered the crowd with his lame shtick

She said “You no amuse

Bald guy now must abuse

For he’s paid us to saute your limp dick”

1:31 pm June, 29 Troy Tempest said...

there once was a puppet named Troy

Who’s a fine and good wooden boy

Until a day full of slack

He gazed at this rack

And splurted a spooge ball of joy.

1:33 pm June, 29 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

She’s got a crazed look in her eyes

that says “Guys are the ones I despise”

But I’d still take a chance

To get into her pants

And happily die b’twixt her thighs

1:37 pm June, 29 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

When Medusa says she’s got a wet snatch

My testicles brew up a new batch

I’d happily spurt

If she’d lift up her skirt

And show me the shine on her pink hatch

.

[Said with the utmost love and respect for Medusa.

.

And her pink hatch which is probably candy apple red.]

1:38 pm June, 29 Dr. Richard Goesinyou said...

These douches are with the boy band “Big Ups”

and they hath no experience with d-cups, yet

they move in for the kill sensing tang to swill, get rejected and suck eachothers nuts.

1:48 pm June, 29 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

The red head with tits on display

Waits on tables at clubs for good pay

The last thing she wants

Is for crusty-haired cunts

To beg for her fine legs to splay

2:58 pm June, 29 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Bald Guy could take George,

two out of three falls,

and steal Francoise away,

but he’s already had her,

and will leave George in the dark,

that he’s actually having sloppy seconds.

3:09 pm June, 29 DarkSock said...

“Me an’ Vin want you between us”

The ‘bag said to this young Venus;

They DP’ed all night

and though she was tight

They were wailing on each other’s Weenus

3:11 pm June, 29 DarkSock said...

“Yo, Red, I’m gone be yo’ FireStarter”

Was the line dropped by this poop-sharter

But in the background stood Frank

Coveting his buddy’s meat crank

And wishing his pal was a PipeFarter.

5:52 pm June, 29 Doucheland Uber Alles said...

I can’t believe it – this douche looks like he’s Lee Harvey Oswald’s long-lost love-child !

But in this case he’s assasinated good taste & decency.

6:54 pm June, 29 Steve L. said...

Stella Artois is kinda douchey, but i don’t think bald guy is refined enough for even Stella Artois.

7:00 pm June, 29 Steve L. said...

everyone’s leaving at the sight of these two.

but bald guy lingers, because he is poo.

there is nothing wrong

with Arianna’s gongs.

the douche is just too strong. weep and rue.

8:18 pm June, 29 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Little Grieco mugs in his vest,

Whilst pointing The Shocker at breast,

Michael Chiklis in back,

After smoking some crack,

May the bitch use my semen like Crest.

12:51 am June, 30 Wheezer said...

I speak f’r not only meself

When I say the arse pear is top shelf

But when I be in a rut

I say “Butts make me nuts

An’ Oi become a ‘orny li’l elf!

.

.

.

OK, it sucked but gave me a great excuse to post—–oh who am I kidding? Excuse? Since when have any of us required excuses?

6:53 am June, 30 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Thanks Wheez- Now HTF do I turn worksafe mode off- I work from home so is always safe!!!!!!!!!!!

6:55 am June, 30 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Anthony L

I too share your pain. Blue toggle switch at screen bottom.

8:11 am June, 30 Hot Buttered Poopcorn said...

A day after the rhymes have been written

Big-boob-hott still has people smitten

but still I do fear

that the douche in the rear

did not find a toilet to shit in

11:31 pm June, 30 Wheezer said...

@Anthony, 6:53 a.m. –

.

I see ’em, too – I think our ‘baghunter pal Vin might be a member of the site, though. I would guess that paying members get to see those pics…..and I’m a tightwad.

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