Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Ask DB1: Any Douchebag Harassment Pics?

—–

Dear DB1,

For some reason, I’ve got a hankering for a photo of a douche harassing a hottie bartender or wait staff or some other hard-working gal. Got any of those?

Thanks,

– Soy Bomb

—–

None right now, Soy Bomb, but I do have a pic of douchebags attempting to fondle a giant pic of Marilyn. Which has gotta count for something.

# posted by douchebag1
9:40 am July, 28 Wheezer said...

On the old site, we once had access to that video rebuttal from MMA fighter Kendall Grove, “Da Spyder.” He was commenting on his appearance in The Book and bugging his waitress about whether or not he was a douchebag…..as if she might say yes and blow the $2.00 tip he might leave her.

.

The video’s on YouTube, but it’s “private.” It’s from September 13, 2008 here, but for whatever reason, the old site contains only the second half or so of each month’s posts.

9:41 am July, 28 End the Haberdouchery said...

I like this guy’s shirt. I think everyone at the club should have to wear a shirt displaying the highest level of math that they can comprehend. This guy obviously plateaued at division. I’ve always felt that applied mathematics majors should be dropping more panties.

9:54 am July, 28 Good Chief Geroniscrote said...

is nothing sacred? Vintage hott molested by Douche McFly!!! Bad way to start the day.

9:57 am July, 28 Medusa Oblongata said...

Fear not. That fucktard would spray his shorts if he had a real pair of titties in his hand. Fondling a poster is the closest he’ll ever get to giving a real performance.

10:29 am July, 28 Baron Von Goolo said...

Maybe not. Judging from the position of his right hand, the douche might actually be air guitaring to ‘Candle In The Wind.’

.

And his broheim is stepping in to tell him his gay is showing.

10:43 am July, 28 Bagnonymous said...

Actually, the douche in this photo is simultaneously masturbating himself and fondling his invisible friend. Being located in front of Marilyn’s photo is either (A) completely incidental or, far more likely, (B) reminded him of Elton John, thus bringing on the spontaneous masturbatory reflex.

.

His buddy on the left is offering up his assistance, “You’re doin’ it wrong! You gotta cup the balls!”

10:50 am July, 28 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Vinnie had to resort to this after wearing out his ‘lady friend’.

10:54 am July, 28 scrotum pole said...

Somewhere Joltin’ Joe is crying salty fuccen tears.

10:55 am July, 28 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Poor Marilyn. No wonder she killed herself.

10:57 am July, 28 Fatness said...

I’ve got a hankering for a photo of a douche harassing a hottie bartender or wait staff or some other hard-working gal being thrown out of the bar by a 350-pound bouncer using the douche’s crotch as a handle.

10:59 am July, 28 scrotum pole said...

Wheezer 9:40,

I figured you had the entire old site, on rolls of microfiche in an underground storage facility.

11:00 am July, 28 soy bomb said...

Can’t wait for the nonsensical takedown request from Norma Jean’s estate.

11:06 am July, 28 Vin Douchal said...

I don’t give a shit, I don’t give a fuck. …… as long as he’s not spewing on my Raquel Welch poster

.

11:06 am July, 28 Mr. White said...

Pretending to fondle giant photos of boobies when you’re 9 years old = awesomeness.

.

Pretending to fondle giant photos of boobies when you’re 23 years old = shitheadedness.

11:07 am July, 28 Vin Douchal said...

Wet Raquel in see through bikini

11:11 am July, 28 Eliza Douchecoo said...

He should have looked for a fathead of MM that he could cut a glory hole out of and gone to town with Broheim on the receiving end. It’s all in the presentation.

11:12 am July, 28 Crucial Head said...

Arnie’s career as a billboard installer took a tragic turn for the worse when he stepped backwards about 8″ too far.

11:28 am July, 28 massengill said...

Harassment.

.

Though I don’t think it’s harassment so much as “looking.”

11:41 am July, 28 Wheezer said...

@Vin –

.

I’m with you on Raquel – she was my first-ever celebrity crush as a young Wheezer of about 6 or 7. I actually first saw her in Kansas City Bomber, and it must have been those rising, divergent 1’s on her jersey that set me aflame with young lust.

.

Well, what else could it have been? Duh…..

11:42 am July, 28 Wheezer said...

@scrotum pole, 10:50 a.m. –

.

I wish, broheim…..I wish I did. Just think of all the hotts we can’t see any more….. 🙁

11:43 am July, 28 Wheezer said...

10:59 a.m.*

11:52 am July, 28 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Wbheezer–so, her rising, divergent 1s gave you a rising, divergent 1? har har har. Ladies, take notice once again: Raquel Welch: Proof once again that it’s a , not a sprint. Get the coke spoon out of your fucking nose, put on some sunblock and you might stand a chance of looking good past 25.

11:53 am July, 28 Medusa Oblongata said...

That would be “It’s a marathon, not a sprint”. Fuck me running AND jogging.

.

And “Wheezer”. I’ll just quit now, thanks.

12:13 pm July, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

That may well be a poster, but it appears to be a large sign pasted on in three separate divisions.

Just as his shirt says.

Nothing more.

12:35 pm July, 28 Fatness said...

Thank you, Vin. Now *I* have something wet and see-through.

12:42 pm July, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Tony flies into a jealous rage as Bob tenderly caresses the Invisible Man’s grape smuggler in the hopes that he will become invisible too after gulping some of his man chowder.

12:46 pm July, 28 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Vin

“I don’t give a shit, I don’t give a fuck. …… as long as he’s not spewing on my Raquel Welch poster”

.

Thanks for posting that pic, If I’m not mistaken is that Raquel circa 1967 as “Lilian Lust” from the movie Bedazzled starring Dudley Moore & Peter Cook? Either way Raquel is ALL TIME HOTT!!!!!!

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsw3SPxTljk]Lust[/url]

.

No comment on the DB’s I’m still in a Raquel state of mind and I don’t want to lose it by thinking about their idiocy

12:47 pm July, 28 Et Tu Douche? said...

WTF?? how do I post a Hyperlink? mine obviously didn’t seem to work

1:52 pm July, 28 darksock said...

I told you there was no way to look dignified while titty-fucking.

5:09 pm July, 28 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

I can put up with a lot of shit from douchie buttbandits, but fuccin with Marilyn is just a bit over the line. May they lose their johnsons to ravenous lampreys only to have them replaced by sticks of dynamite which explode with enough force to make douches in other solar systems cringe.

5:42 pm July, 28 Steve L. said...

holy shit i’m glad that wasn’t Elizabeth Taylor.

… yeah i never got Marilyn Monroe. sorry.

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