Saturday, July 31, 2010

Ask DB1: More Nottadouches?

—–

Hey DB1,

First of all, I love your site. I check it everyday and it makes me laugh. However, I do have one grievance with your site…and by my grievance, I mean this out of great respect.

You often have douchebag of the month, douchebag of the week, etc….yet you do not have any nottadouche examples…As much as your site is funny, after looking at it, it can depress me to the point where Nickelback albums and Glenn Beck seem pleasant.

Perhaps a photo of a non-douche with a hot chick can restore some hope for baghunters..I feel the site would be stronger if there was even more balanced reporting.

Can you make a nottadouche of the week? This way, douchebags who view the site can see some examples of how to fix themselves.

Keep up the great work. C heers,

-Musicman

—-

While I do receive the occasional nottadouche with hot chick, and as hopeful as it can be, posting such false hope on HCwDB may imply the Grieco Virus plague is receding. And while our best efforts are slowing the tide and turning the ‘Bag into an object of ridicule, the mutations continue.

Therefore it is the douche/hott coupling that we must continue highlight and mock if we are to have any hope of social redress.

But for you, I’ll give you one. “Happy Kevin Finds Ass Pear.” Complete with Rareass Yellow Cup. Good for Kevin.

# posted by douchebag1
1:13 pm July, 31 DoucheBigue said...

I admire you Kevin, as I wished I was as close as you were on that pic to fondle that fresh firm pear.

Oh, and you are just 1 foot away from paradise – thumbs up anyway!

1:40 pm July, 31 scrotum pole said...

What was that old nursery rhyme?

Little Notta Kevin

Sat close to heaven,

Oogling an ass-pear pie.

Stuck in his thumb,

And pulled out a plumb,

And said, “Damn, what a good boy am I !”

2:17 pm July, 31 DarkSock said...

I have just realized that I was born to rub Hellman’s Mayonnaise on that girls buttocks. Right now.

2:22 pm July, 31 As I Lay Douching said...

I would tie one end of a Kevlar® cord to the twin axle of an old BlueBird® Schoolbus, and the other end to my left ball, and then run naked in flip flops in a futile attempt to keep up while the meth chefs that live in said bus take off in a bid to outrun the Harrison County deputies in Lincoln Town Cars®, just for the privilege of watching her poop into a cellophane diaper while standing in a bucket of Hawaiian Tropic®.

2:26 pm July, 31 DarkSock said...

Nice try at anonymity, DarkSock…except for the Harrison County reference. Dumb ass.
DF

2:29 pm July, 31 DarkSock said...

To hell with it; I’m pulling up my britches, going back inside and taking a nap.
fff

2:32 pm July, 31 DarkSock said...

Good lord…in posting that map I just had an epiphany about Mississippi….
wer
I just had an epiphany about what Florida looks like but I don’t think The Boss wants any photos of semi-flaccid tube steak on a family site such as this one.

2:56 pm July, 31 Douchble Helix said...

What’s a ‘Kevin’?

3:22 pm July, 31 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Now that we all know what real porch beef looks like, we’ve been forewarned.

3:33 pm July, 31 numbskull72 said...

Hey, I’m a Kevin. I just play a numbskull on these here interweb boards.

3:33 pm July, 31 Wheezer said...

Hey Boss,

If you should ever consider Musicman’s idea, and I realize that’s a huge IF, I propose that it’s no more than an “Honorary Nottadouche of the Month,” or maybe of the quarter. That way we can see the possibility without it seeming oversaturated.

Just a thought,

Wheezer

3:33 pm July, 31 DarkSock said...

A “Kevin” is a lucky object that orbits a small moon, Douchble Helix.

3:34 pm July, 31 Wheezer said...

@DarkSock, 2:17 p.m. –

.

Uhhhhh, my other nickname is “Hellmann.”

.

What the hell – we’re not cuddling afterwards, are we? Righty-o then…..

3:45 pm July, 31 Medusa Oblongata said...

I like Kevin. I would give him a high-five and a bite of this tasty meatball sub I am enjoying. Because I am jealous of Kevin, but I’m glad he’s appreciative of the position he’s in.

4:43 pm July, 31 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

How dare ye speak ill of Nickleback on the Sabbath day. Who is this Musicman writing in. A heretic, a charlatan?

Glenn Beck is one of my followers and is crazy as fuck but he believes in my Jesus sized cock. And the girl with the tiny bottom is very fucleicious. I must continue with my carpentry project before I smoot someone.

4:59 pm July, 31 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

Do not speak of Nickelback, the shame of Alberta.

5:15 pm July, 31 Stephanie said...

Why does her body look like a blowup doll?

They’re holding her there so she doesn’t fly away….weird,someone musta put something in my pepsi

6:05 pm July, 31 musicfanatic said...

This is me, Musicman…I shall speak of Nickelback whenever I wish…After all, Chad Kroeger’s head is so big it blocks out the sun.

6:12 pm July, 31 massengill said...

Garçon? Yes, I’ll have the butt steak. And please bring me a yellow cup and a box of your finest Merlot.

6:35 pm July, 31 Wheezer said...

Kind of a bad name for a men’s underwear page, huh? They better have rear charcoal filters or something.

.

HEY! It was an ad on my Facebook page – gimme a break!

.

That doesn’t quite explain everything, does it? Oh well, anyway…..don’t say I didn’t warn ya about the extreme scrotiferousness of it…..

7:41 pm July, 31 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

Nickelback is the Smoot of music. Not only are they producing boring, paint-by numbers “rock”, but being from Alberta, they are played on the radio ALL THE FUKKEN TIME around here.

It’s enough to drive a soul to listen to right wing, redneck talk radio. Yech.

8:24 pm July, 31 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

http://www.dresssox.com is a nicer men’s underwear page.

Just sayin’.

8:27 pm July, 31 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

And yes, she really does appear to be a blow-up “doll” of a hott. Too smooth features are a dead, er, lifeless giveaway, or she’s just underage and not had the time to develop “features” of interest. Legal interest, that is.

9:10 pm July, 31 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

OK, no more ass pear, we have a fuckin’ WINNER! That thing is damn perfect. From now on you people who know Photoshop need to put that thing into different situations so DB1 can just keep rerunning the thing over and over.

.

Click on Empire State Pear and that thing is in NY.

Click on Gold Rush Pear and it’s in California.

Click on Mount Rush Pear and it’s in South Dakota

Click on Mars Pear and that thing is on Mars

Click on Pair Pear and you’ve duplicated it and now I have two to fwap to.

.

Do I have to go on?

9:36 pm July, 31 ehcuodouche said...

THAT’S NO MOON!

9:44 pm July, 31 Steve L. said...

according to the law of short term karma (that i just made up), a nottadouche pic on Saturday can’t bode well for Sunday.

yeah i’m still reeling from AJ “rippin’ it” next to that piano.

9:45 pm July, 31 Steve L. said...

of all the pics where someone places his face next t an ass pear for gratuitous photo ops, this pic certainly isn’t the worst. however, why would i ever trust anyone who places his face next to an ass pear for gratuitous photo ops?

DOUCHE.

… and, uh, yeah that’s one quality ass pear.

9:47 pm July, 31 dblpits2teste said...

Parties on Lake Mead are autodouche.

9:48 pm July, 31 Baleen said...

The Rev Chad in action. Nickleback shreds!

.

.

I posted this a while back but it’s so fuccen funny I brought it back for those who missed it.

10:55 pm July, 31 creature said...

I would stick my head right up that pooter til her sphincter was my collar!

12:15 pm August, 1 ruckus said...

The fight against the grieco virus is coming along spectacularly. Case in point, this Friday, as I was walking into a club in Hollywood, I witnessed a douche getting kicked out because of what he was wearing. And it wasn’t even ed hardy or affliction! Just your run-of-the-mill ‘bag shirt +stupid chain. Gotta stay vigilant and progressive with the mock, because once ed hardy ceases to be fashionable, the ‘bags will turn to something else ridiculous to wear.

12:56 pm August, 1 scrotum pole said...

The queef emenating from such a posterior would be like the sounds of songbirds on a dew-kissed spring morning.

1:26 pm August, 1 Eliza Douchecoo said...

no way that’s a real ass, it’s too perfect, but hey who’s ass am I to argue with?

9:34 pm August, 1 Fatness said...

You can argue with mine.

5:29 am August, 2 Eliza Douchecoo said...

nah…I don’t like to argue with asses, they’re always talking shit.

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