Thursday, July 29, 2010

'Bag / Nottabag?

Shifty Shawn reeks of DJ Douchepoo aura and smug entitlement as he bothers the delightfully pure and filtered glass of hottwater that is Ambiguously Eastern European Elisa.

But without more obvious adouchetributes, do we have enough evidence to convict?

Mmmm… Ambiguously Eastern European Elisa. I would listen to your high pitched laugh over your inability to understand English, and then I would awkardly follow you to the bathroom, inexplicably get jealous of the catering guy who offers you a pig in a blanket, then wait outside the bathroom until security asked me to leave. And then I would go to In-n-Out and enjoy a tasty double double.

# posted by douchebag1
9:20 am July, 29 Justin said...

Mmmmm In-n-Out…

9:21 am July, 29 Mr. Biggs said...

Here is where I take my leave from the traditional rubric of addoucherements, and instead go by the aura, the samurai scrote zen which is beyond the physical.

And I will use that to call him stage 1 going on stage 2, for he is young and has plenty of downward spiral to go.

9:21 am July, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

DJ Notta and Hotta I’d travel to Georgia to arm her family of Muslim guerillas with if if could have her hand in fucle on my Jesus sized cocck.

9:23 am July, 29 Justin said...

…OH, and ‘BAG. Emo hair, large wrist thing, douche pose, and the most important…pissed off cool-guy face in presence of amazing hott.

9:23 am July, 29 Bagnonymous said...

Nottabag–but with a stern warning to Shawn: if he starts paying more attention to mugging with hotts than to spinnin’ vinyl, then a swift kick to the nads will be in order.

.

Now, get back to your mixing deck and play me some Spandau Ballet!

9:24 am July, 29 ButterSauce said...

I think he’s just being a gentleman and pointing the way to the ladies restroom.

notta

9:35 am July, 29 Mr. Biggs said...

Bagonymous, how many DJs spin vinyl? I thought they just spun iTunes.

9:41 am July, 29 Medusa Oblongata said...

Douche Aura. And Smug. I can smell your smug!

9:45 am July, 29 Captain Garanichode said...

I say Bag… Eastern European Elisa (suggesting EEE from here on) was minding her own business when Def Leppard Dave (aka DJ Douchepoo) who was hovering nearby sweeps in for his Kodak moment that he no doubt molested himself to later that evening. She can wash her clothes of his poo, but never her memory of his poo’ish behavior.

Definitely BAG him!

9:48 am July, 29 Vin Douchal said...

As a classically trained musician on the muted triangle, I say that all DJ’s are Auto-Douche.

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I didn’t spend years staring longingly at the Yamaha tuning fork logo to have idiots with a midi-keyboard and Garage Band program usurping the fine work of the masters before us.

.

And by masters I mean Frank Zappa, Spike Jones, Keith Moon, Mahavishnu John McLaughlin, Shel Silverstein, Mojo Nixon and today’s flag bearers Rodney Carrington and Hank 3.

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Fuck you DJ Douchepoo and the Miata you rode in on

9:52 am July, 29 Bag Margera said...

That aura comes with the profession, and since parties need music, I’m gonna have to go with notta, until further evidence surfaces.

9:53 am July, 29 scrotum pole said...

I think Triple-E is from Canoga Park or perhaps Tripoli.

9:56 am July, 29 scrotum pole said...

BTW he’s a ‘bag. I’ve never met a “DJ” yet who wasn’t an arrogant ass.

10:04 am July, 29 Douchelips said...

Douchebag. All DJ’s are douchebags, no exceptions.

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Look at me, I spin records! I mix other people’s mp3s to make “new” music!

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Bullshit.

10:05 am July, 29 The Blessed Scrotini said...

I’m definitely in the minority but I say Nottabag. I’ve never met a douchebag that looks like he’s hiding from a picture.

10:14 am July, 29 Eliza Douchecoo said...

My step-bro. is a DJ and he’s not a douche, but he’s definitely the minority. I say DJ Poo is a douche because he’s got that look of superiority, like check out this smokin’ hott chick you can’t get. Screw you DouchePoo.

10:17 am July, 29 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Nottabag just yet. Futurebag, maybe. She’s plenty hott. As for In-n-Out Burgers, I’d read the biblical verses to them with an admonishment or two, all the while munching on a double-double animal :Noah’s Ark must be honored as the starting over point of mankind, when even God decreed douchery must be wiped off the face of the earth, but saved a mere few to begin anew.

10:19 am July, 29 Crucial Head said...

He’s a ‘bag. Medusa mentioned the aura… and it stinketh.

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She’s got a brunette Rachel McAdams thing going on, and that tightens the fabric about me loins. She better pray her gardner doesn’t have a dog.

10:20 am July, 29 Et Tu Douche? said...

I say he gets a Notta, I know some Dj’s and they are in it to make some money and more importantly they really like the music. As an Vintage audio collector (Sansui, Marantz, Polk Audio) I can tell you vinyl & turn tables are making a comeback. EEE is Hott and I’m digging those stockings, I hope that’s not her BF.

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Vin D, I like your taste in music, might I add Freddie Hubbard? from his CTI years? Red Clay was a gem!!!

10:35 am July, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Play Strairway To Heaven dude.

10:36 am July, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^fucking r’s

10:47 am July, 29 I R A Darth Aggie said...

It is only a matter of time. It is his destiny.

10:54 am July, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Shifty Shawn has a creepy blonde-haired Eddie Munster kinda vibe goin’ on. It may not be overt in this pic but the aura has reeked and so the fat lady is belting out “Highway to Hell” for this one. I do hope that EEE’s foot is “resting” on the table containing his “gear” and that she accidentally has some sort of a spasm and trashes his collection of euro-pop and Yanni.

10:55 am July, 29 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

I’m leaning toward ‘bag but really more evidence is needed.

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As for Elisa, I would chow on her lap goulash.

11:08 am July, 29 Anonymous said...

Notta bag but a lotta fag.

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She’s a glass of Krug Blanc de Noir d ‘Ambonnay.

11:09 am July, 29 Baleen said...

^my avatar dissappeared.

11:43 am July, 29 Deltus said...

He’s an early Stage-1. EEE is tastiness.

11:53 am July, 29 Ultra Bagnus said...

I’d say nottadouche but he should be outfitted with a tracker tag in order to monitor his progress. He’s on a real slippery slope and the forecast is calling for hair gel storms.

Elisa is all kinds of tasty, porcelain-skinned goodness.

11:54 am July, 29 Wheezer said...

Great legs on her…..wait a minute! There’s someone else in the photo?

11:55 am July, 29 tall guy said...

Just because his wardrobe hints at a smattering of understatement doesn’t mean he isn’t douche. The telltale signs are there by the shedload: hand gesturing not waving; wristdana, accessor-or-neck-cans.

Sheesh, what more do you want?

Notta? Notta bloody likely!

11:57 am July, 29 melvil duchi said...

I think I see a 5lb watch on the DJ…

12:03 pm July, 29 chaserofthehott said...

Who gives a shit about the douche, Ok there I called it.

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Nice little Rachel McAdams look alike hott, WOW!

12:11 pm July, 29 T-ravisaurus rex said...

Thank you my Douche mocking friends of the internet, being o-so-not-a-bag with a Dj affected hot for a girlfriend makes the day, well shitty. Your mocking of the Auto douche dj’s has me smiling again, safe and secured in my sick and twisted relationship.

12:40 pm July, 29 Troy Tempest said...

See, now this is the difference – compare this oaf to Superlobe.

Look at the eyes. Look at the set of the jaw. In fact, with super lobe, if you cover the weird ear hoopy things, he just looks like your garden variety dillrod. You can tell by his eyes.

Now look at Shawn – the jaw. The glare. The sense of entitlement.

Yep. He’s a douche. Even though he carries almost no overt signifiers of douchebaggery, he’s a scrote. You would think Superlobe is a complete tool, an idiot, a scum sucking nozzle. But you look at him more and you realise, he’s just not that much of a dick. But Shawn – you could dress him upin a 3 piece suit and he’d still be sneering at you and fondling hotts.

So, is he a douche? Yes. But a low level one – stage 1 or 2.

1:07 pm July, 29 armydouche said...

Early stage 1 seems to be the consensus and i would have to agree… not enough evidence to convict but we know something is amiss…

1:13 pm July, 29 creature said...

meh, notta… I’d still like to give him a good thump tho

1:15 pm July, 29 creature said...

btw, Elisa is way hotter than Rachel McAdams

2:21 pm July, 29 Anonymous said...

Wearing headphones while not behind the decks = Douche

2:29 pm July, 29 massengill said...

That chick is smoking hot.

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I’m assuming this guy deejays with his Macbook, and for that he is douche.

2:37 pm July, 29 Douchey Smurf said...

He looks like a twerp… she looks good enough to slurp. Cute chick.

3:07 pm July, 29 Scrotal Body Workout said...

Douche bag.

Just like the difference between a Slut and a Bitch is that a Slut sleeps with everyone, a bitch sleeps with everyone but you… the difference between a douche and a notta is that the douche with the hott, and you’re not.

If Shifty Shawn was just hanging out, he’d probably pass as your average bag-hunter.

Good Lord is that woman good looking.

4:28 pm July, 29 The Dude said...

Douchebag. I’m a hatter on this one. Fish slap!

And while he’s reeling from the sting of a giant sea bass to the cheek, I hope and pray that Elisa escapes.

6:01 pm July, 29 mr.reeve said...

Mmmmmmm double double.

Mmmmmmm Elisa.

6:02 pm July, 29 mr.reeve said...

The picture says maybe a notta but if we could see his eyes they would say fuckface. BAG!!!!

7:12 pm July, 29 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

Early stage ‘bag. I’m with Justin. The hipster faux badass mug while in the presence of Elisa is simply unforgivable & shows nascent douche tendencies. A smile would be OK, or a sorta goofy gaze of much-deserved idolization, or even a ‘yeah, she’s hot’ smirk might be appropriate, but not oh-so-cool angry face.

Elisa is making my ‘nads foam. It feels wierd. I want to lick the shoes of the person who drove the truck that took her panty hose to the store.

10:17 pm July, 29 Professor 'Baglioni said...

There’s not way this guy gets to walk away with a notta. He’s the kind of douchebag that doesn’t want to stick out in crowds, but burns with scrote on the inside. These are especially dangerous.

10:22 pm July, 29 Business-Casual Douche said...

DJ = AUTODOUCHE

No exceptions. Not even DJ Shadow or DJ Jazzy Jeff or DJ Tanner.

10:40 pm July, 29 Steve L. said...

just because Shawn sucks at hand gestures doesn’t mean he’s not a douchebag.

11:15 pm July, 29 DoucheBigue said...

He’s a douche and an annaoying one, he wishes he were david guetta – an undisputable douche.

and she’s a bleeth whose main accomplishement that night was to sit awkwardly (and sexily) in DJ Smug’s cabin

12:55 am July, 30 Colossus of Choads said...

Hall of Hott request.

She has a kind face.

1:05 pm July, 30 Stephanie said...

Stage 1 Douche,he could still change his mind and not go that way. Chicks like DJ’s,when they play Bela Lugosi’s Dead Goth Rock… And I agree,if he’s using a Mac and not real records he’s a douche just for that.

I need more evidence,like seeing his DJ booth…

4:18 am August, 2 Webalot said...

not a bag

using real records over digital = harder work – trying too hard = douche … this kid is pretty chilled, he doens’t need to try to hard with his dress, hair, fake tan, even his headphones fail to be deemed ‘try hard. I think he’s quite cool and probs just likes music.

If his offense is not smiling for a camera in a club, then the site’s meaning of douche needs assessment .. he’s only 17 ish, maybe he is a moody teenager, bless him, and bless her… twice.

he’s probably kindly wearing that thing on his wrist please him mum who got it for him, or to give him extra support whilst wanking. Either way it doesn’t offend me.

bless

6:00 pm August, 5 doucheton said...

Am I the only one who thinks the DJ may be a woman?

Just looks, I dunno, kinda butchy?

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