Monday, July 26, 2010

"Beer Ho!"

“Beer Ho!” shouted the sailor atop the bar stool as he gazed into yonder eve.

“Nah, she gives it up for free.” Responded the bartender.

Yup. No idea what I’m writing.

But I do know this.

Ed Hardy belt buckle = Sign #27 of the Impending Douchepocalypse.

# posted by douchebag1
3:32 pm July, 26 Fatness said...

More of a Tequila Shot Ho, methinks…

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The little pink-and-white-sausage-dressed tidbit behind her, however, looks like she goes more for umbrella drinks.

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BARTENDER!

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Mandana-and-a-hat douche might want to step off the platform into the path of the oncoming tram.

3:33 pm July, 26 Et Tu Douche? said...

Chico and the Milf?

3:39 pm July, 26 creature said...

“that’s him! he’s the guy who shouted ‘douche’ as he whacked me in the head with a baseball bat!”

3:40 pm July, 26 Et Tu Douche? said...

I didn’t know Tawny Kitaen was still on the scene.

3:42 pm July, 26 creature said...

uhm, does his shirt say, “Chicano dong ball licker”… or “Chicago…”?

3:50 pm July, 26 creature said...

@ Vin,

just listened to “Ass Pear La Plante” again… classic!

Bromocidal axeweilder! thank you

3:59 pm July, 26 UFO Destroyers said...

Grandpadre Manuel at the snowflake table puts cigarettes out on the back of his hand to mask the tears of failure that well up whenever he sees his grandson. “Why, oh why, did I ever become an itinerant farm worker just to have my own flesh and blood turn into such a Chicano dong ball licker.”

3:59 pm July, 26 UFO Destroyers said...

^Thanks Creature.

3:59 pm July, 26 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Snookie’s “thinner” though absurdly orangier sister is clearly lost somewhere south of the border.

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And by south of the border I mean Deleware.

4:02 pm July, 26 Vin Douchal said...

@ Creature

Thank you, kind sir. All Vin Douchal tunes are available for download at a website near you….

4:03 pm July, 26 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Haven’t seen mandana and fadora since last year’s Baio Bag. Who knew that the heat trapped in one’s body by two layers of cranial covering made in mandatory to go sleeveless. Explains the market for Axe deodorant.

4:07 pm July, 26 Vin Douchal said...

This photo looks like my stomach contents after a 37 beer, 4 Spicy Dog , bag of peanuts , shared/sneaked in small bottle of Crown with a stop off at King Taco then a strip club Dodger game..

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No make that the next day turd

4:23 pm July, 26 Steve L. said...

sailors attend such snobby bars these days. they should be at a real watering hole. like, somewhere at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.

4:36 pm July, 26 massengill said...

Buffalo Beast’s GF in pink dress looks like possible Thai Lady boy.

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PORCHBEEFJELLYDONG

5:37 pm July, 26 Whoop-di-douche said...

Could be some porch beef. After all, when a man dons a mandana, fedora and wifebeater all in one, he deserves a strangle, tip of the hat, and twenty lashes, which sounds a lot like tenderizing and seasoning a’ la porch beef to me.

5:39 pm July, 26 Whoop-di-douche said...

Sometimes I think it’s best that FLYTEETH give us his consult on these things, when in doubt. He’d be able to smell it out. I heard he was visiting that awful corpse flower that only blooms once in a blue moon. Maybe someone would be so kind as to conjure him home to HCWDB.

5:48 pm July, 26 G said...

I didn’t think it was possible, but with that hat, he is even more douche than Kadebag…

5:50 pm July, 26 G said...

Is that Carrottop?

6:35 pm July, 26 Justin said...

After last call, Tito knew he had but one chance to get another alcoholic beverage. While posing for a photo, he jammed his broken Corona bottle through Tawny’s temporal bone and deeply into her whiskey-infused grey matter, filling the bottle with the yellowish fluid like so much maple syrup from a tapped tree in New Hampshire. Drink up, Tito.

7:29 pm July, 26 Stephanie said...

He blew all of his lawn cutting money on the red Ed Hardy belt. So,tomorrow he’s gotta cut a lot more lawns so he can buy the shirt…..I found out most of the “Designer Ed Hardy Wear” is made in China…you sucker.

7:34 pm July, 26 creature said...

the goat horns hanging on the back wall signal that Chuy here will be demonstrating animal husbandry techniques on donkees later in the eve

7:34 pm July, 26 G said...

^ another reason for the Chinese to laugh at the west

7:53 pm July, 26 MoeDouche said...

I just love redheads. That’s all I need to say about this picture….

8:30 pm July, 26 DarkSock said...

That wall has a butthole.

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Tammi Trunkleggs farts in their general direction while she scratches her balls and pulses her butt muscle.

8:58 pm July, 26 Wedgie said...

Tammi has some nice cankles. Last time I saw legs like that, they were pulling a plow.

9:23 pm July, 26 Anonymous said...

what gives you all the right to say bad things about people you do not know as anonymous cowards? Try being Christian and see how that fits. I hope you all DIE in a firy car wreck and see what hell feels like you stupid fuck shitstains you all need a life and a purepose, or at least a gun and a mouth to stick it in if yuoiu can get the dick out 0f it first. shitstick asshole dogfucks if I konw who you were i would fight you one by one until you were all broken JUST LIKE YOUR DREAMS +++ HAH

9:36 pm July, 26 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Anonymous^

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Congratulations. In one post you managed to combine nearly every tired and cliched attack against us baghunters while simultaneously obliterating the English language.

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But your skeed has some potential. If you could spell better, or maybe got a larger keyboard, I’d actually suggest that you start mocking along with the rest of us.

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Otherwise, f*ck off or get a sense of humor. F*cking off’ probably easier.

11:34 pm July, 26 tall guy said...

I’d probably require a little more photographic evidence, but this idiot’s my latest nomination for instant HoS.

4:45 am July, 27 Anonymous said...

Anon 9:23,

Pureposely mispelling words gives you away as a reg.

Nice try.

5:36 am July, 27 Mr. Biggs said...

#27 overall or on this guy alone? Geez he looks like schizophrenia in an outfit.

5:38 am July, 27 Mr. Biggs said...

Oh, and to anon – we’re not that anonymous. You can find out who we are and call most of us if you put some effort into it.

6:04 am July, 27 mr.reeve said...

She looks hammered drunk and ready to blow. This guy is all douche. And I see his wigga friend in the back ground to the right is ballen with his b-ball jersey on. Must be a dope ass house party yo! Pass me dat O.E.! SSSSSHHHHIIITTTTTTT!!!!!!

6:40 am July, 27 Tony Ventresca said...

I agree the tanned hottie on the right looks like she’s taking a moment away from this busy rocking club scene (sarcasm!) to adjust her scrot sack in her undies. I’d be a happy to help her with that.

6:53 am July, 27 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I’d pull his mandana down over his eyes, and whisk the redhead away from his influence, and attempt to cure her bleeth infection.

6:56 am July, 27 Whoop-di-douche said...

We mock people in photos on this site because we think the way they present themselves by clothing, tatts and wacko poses is ridiculous. Just because it’s a free country and we can dress just about any way we please doesn’t get us off the hook as far as sharing a civilized society with our fellow humans. I daresay there is even a worse site for mocking people’s appearance: try visiting http://www.peopleofwalmart.com for some really disgusting boundary violations. By and large we think the dudes and gals on this site might just know better, whereas the folks at the walmart site, absolutely NO HOPE can be found for them.

6:57 am July, 27 scrotum pole said...

The redhead has genuine red pubes………………………………………………………………………………………………..atop his penis.

7:03 am July, 27 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Anon

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“Try being Christian and see how that fits. I hope you all DIE in a firy car wreck”

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That’s not a very Christian thing to say oh and learn how to spell.

7:09 am July, 27 Richard Dragon said...

That chick on the right looks mighty fine and ripe to me. The two in the picture look like two pieces of crap pointing at me to flush them down the tiolet.

8:32 am July, 27 End the Haberdouchery said...

She made my penis just utter an audible “yuck” this morning. Anon 9:23 doesn’t know what it means to be Christian. I guess I’m the bigger asshole for knowing and deciding not to anyway.

11:36 am July, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@DB1

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Uh Boss, not to quibble or anything but didn’t you put an extra space in there. Shouldn’t it be “Beerho”? Ya know in the same Stackhousian manner of whobag and jumpoff? Just askin’.

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As for the pic…Ol’ Abe Froman (The Sausage King of Chicago) and the Beerho seem to be indicating to us who they would “do” based on how drunk they are. Abe always had a secret crush on Jimbo the cameraman and now feels free to tell the world about it. The Beerho has indicated a three-legged syphilitic donkey that reeks of its own urine AND Michael Lohan. Unfortunately she can’t tell which is which right now.

1:54 pm July, 27 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“My mom only let’s me spend $5.” – Private Joker

2:00 pm July, 27 Captain Garanichode said...

Hott? I think NOT!!!

2:30 pm July, 27 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

wow, she is rough. like five miles of bad road rough. should have grabbed the brunette in the red minidress behind her, but alcohol does impair the mind.

8:52 pm July, 27 Mr. Biggs said...

Magnum, I think the phrase here is “rode hard and put up wet.”

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