Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Boris

Challo.

I am Boris.

I like, how you say, the boobies?

Thank you.

Have a nice day.

# posted by douchebag1
9:15 am July, 7 smackdouche said...

Is there a douchebag in this picture? All I see is a delicious smogasbord of boobie perfection.

She is a goddess.

9:28 am July, 7 Douche Cassidy and Baggling Kid said...

I give this guy a notadouche. First off, he’s making irony with the marker mustache and monobrow – which is funny. And his graphic tee is an omage to the A-ha video “Take on Me.’ It’s one of the motorcycle gang members that beats up Morten Harket.

9:39 am July, 7 chaserofthehott said...

I give Boris a not a douche…

.

.

.

Also, the peace sign between the boobies is very appropriate, because those things could bring peace to any situation. Good Lord I love those fun bags…

9:42 am July, 7 Vin Douchal said...

This has to be a porn star. Please, can anyone get her name so we can Google her “work” and appreciate the art form?

.

And by appreciate the art form I mean milk the man udder until the blisters on the palm toughen into Grade 50 sand paper

9:44 am July, 7 Justin said...

Beaker?

9:46 am July, 7 Vin Douchal said...

My Name is Hurl

9:47 am July, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Two and a Half Boobs

9:47 am July, 7 Vin Douchal said...

How I Motorboated Your Mother

9:52 am July, 7 Dicy said...

Yowza! I like the, how you say, boobies too!!

10:12 am July, 7 bigphatnotadouche said...

Boobies..

I have nothing to add at this time.

Boobies and the hope for Ass Pear.

10:19 am July, 7 Doucheachusetts said...

Boris is most certainly a douche, regardless of his lame attempt at “irony.” If anything, it makes him more of one. Manipulation of the body, by means of Sharpie, or other artification (see below), is what douche peacocking is all about.

“Artification: The neologism refers to situations and processes in which something that is not regarded as art in the traditional sense of the word is changed into art or into something art-like.”

As for Marissa: drool.

10:20 am July, 7 Mr. White said...

She shouldn’t let them touch like that. When she walks around, it probably sounds like two beach balls rubbing up against each other.

.

Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with that. I appreciate that financial constraints and/or the need to mule coke forces some women to go to questionable South American locales to get their boob jobs.

10:21 am July, 7 Turdacious said...

He’s about as real as her mammaries.

Funny but i call bullshit on this one

10:37 am July, 7 creature said...

of all the inventions of the 20th century, fake cans have had the most positive effect on my life!

10:44 am July, 7 Mr. White said...

@creature

Au contraire, my friend. You mean 19th century. Fake boobs may have been invented as early as 1895, if not before.

10:52 am July, 7 Jaques Doucheteau said...

As Nick Lowe so beautifully coined it, “What’s so funny about peace, love, and titty fucking?”

10:54 am July, 7 Fatness said...

Boris: Notta. Zero signs other than the mocking makeup and face.

.

Boobies: Lotta. Good lord. Whatta rack. And she’s a beer drinker too.

.

10:55 am July, 7 Mr. White said...

@fatness

She’s not drinking that beer. Those things on her chest have taps.

10:59 am July, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Rookie Blue Balls

11:00 am July, 7 Vin Douchal said...

WipYer AssOut

11:01 am July, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Everybody Loves Her Giant Gazongas

11:03 am July, 7 Vin Douchal said...

Extreme Makeover : Titty Edition

11:04 am July, 7 Vin Douchal said...

902-38 DD’s

11:17 am July, 7 creature said...

Thanks for the history lesson White…. ox cartilage, heh heh

11:37 am July, 7 parking the dork said...

notadouche, but who cares

God i want to park my dork between her peace loving implants

11:59 am July, 7 Deltus said...

Huuuuhhhh-UUUUUHHHHNNNNNNnnnhhhh.

.

Love them boobies.

12:14 pm July, 7 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

She talks in 3-5 word sentences, usually tilting her head to one side and constantly giving you that “I can’t believe you just said that” look. She says “Oh my god”, not “OHMYGAWD”, but she says it all the time, followed by a quick laugh that makes you think, “Is she stupid or is she f*cking with me?”

.

She’s open to conversation but 40 minutes later you realize she hasn’t really said much, just nodded her head a lot and looked around the bar, and you’re totally embarassed because your mouth’s been running on overdrive about stupid shit like how “Avatar” was just a SciFi update of “Dances with Wolves” but it was awesome in 3D, and how it sucks what’s happening in Darfur even though you said it was Algeria and she didn’t even blink. and then you moved on to talk about how the Dodgers have got a real shot at a title if they just keep their pitching going. Then there was an ackward pause that lasted about five minutes with both of you looking into your beers and up at the ceiling tiles.

.

And then when you did make eye contact instinct kicked in and you gave her a smile but it was more of a child molester leer. And then, when she looked away and took in a deep, nervous breath, you just couldn’t help but stare at her breasts and they stretched the tought gray fabric, the bar lights reflecting off of each firm, round handful, her crucifix neckace almost parallel with the floor.

.

Your timing was way off because you missed her head turning back to you and when your eyes came up to meet hers it was obvious she’d seen you staring at her rack. You flashed your molester smile one more time in an attempt to disarm her.

.

As she headed for the door you wiped the appletini from you face and smiled your non-molester smile, the image of her golden, heaving cleavite forever burned in your primate brain.

.

She is exquisite.

12:25 pm July, 7 DoucheBigue said...

Bewbs!

And if you can watch somewhere else: look at his curly hair…

12:44 pm July, 7 Douchble Helix said...

I’ve seen the Ah-Ha video.

I think the t-shirt is The Great Gazoo from The Flintstones.

http://www.retroworldtshirts.com/the-flintstones-the-great-gazoo-tshirt.html

Hey, ‘Gazoo’ is the root of the word ‘Gazoobies’. I need to look into this further…

12:52 pm July, 7 tall guy said...

I support the call for notta douche. His gentle mock amuses me. And that’s a fair set of jugs too… (There’s a bit of irony from me).

1:50 pm July, 7 End the Haberdouchery said...

LOL, great pic. Any guy who pencils in a mustache and unibrow is auto-notta in my book, and Jesus Tap Dancing Christ, look at those things. Om nom nom.

2:40 pm July, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’m not exactly convinced that he did this himself. It looks more like the work of some “friends” who did this while he was passed out and Mammary McBoobenstein is just going along with the “joke”. If they were real friends they would have put “Insert penis here” on his cheek with an arrow pointing to his mouth.

3:00 pm July, 7 Stephanie said...

Yeah,he needs to pass out again,so I can finish writing all over him with a sharpie marker,and a tattoo gun…one of these things just doesn’t belong here song is playing in my head.

3:20 pm July, 7 smackdouche said...

If they can be touched, they’re real.

I’d like to reiterate: SHE IS A GODDESS

3:49 pm July, 7 DarkSock said...

That woman has unusually large breasts, which in this photograph are largely exposed.

3:51 pm July, 7 DarkSock said...

I’ve posited before that there is no way to engage in tittyfuccen AND maintain a level of dignity. Try and imagine Lord Mountbatten or President William McKinley doing it.

.

In this case, you may as well put on a clown outfit and have honking horns on your balls for each downstroke. It would be for the best, really.

4:20 pm July, 7 notadouche said...

My mind just BLEW!

5:09 pm July, 7 Snoop Douchey Bagg said...

Boris amuses me mightily.

Nottadouche pass for Boris.

6:04 pm July, 7 soy bomb said...

Tremendous, tremendous rack.

6:12 pm July, 7 Steve L. said...

“boobies” is NOT how you say it.

“12-inch zip disk implanted into my cheekbone” is how you say it, Boris.

“boobies” is for our viewing pleasure. and that has nothing to do with you, Boris.

6:32 pm July, 7 Steve L. said...

today we had a safety meeting. the safety guy told us that there was a fatality on some other construction site not too long ago. some guy was cutting steel with a 12-inch zip disk on a 7-inch grinder. so he was about 75% done with the steel cutting when the disk exploded and killed him. what this meant was that a large plate of black carbon shattered while spinning at 7000-8000 revolutions per minute, producing free-flying fragments of black carbon traveling at a force equivalent to 7000-8000 revolutions per minute. one such fragment hit the guy on the cheekbones, and penetrated all the way into into his nose before stopping. the guy was dead 15 minutes after sustaining the injury.

and OF COURSE, any safety guy who is committed to scaring everyone into working safely would have pictures of this fatality. the poor guy in question was lying in a splash of blood next to his head and there was this large jagged plate of black carbon buried in his face. and the guy in question has a hairstyle similar to Boris here!

WHY WASN’T IT BORIS GODDAMNIT?!

6:36 pm July, 7 Steve L. said...

whoa that was a lot of shitty construction shit to shove down HCwDB’s throat.

i’m sorry.

but that guy’s hair really looked like Boris’s hair.

7:28 pm July, 7 Whoop-di-douche said...

Cleavite and reverse-cleavite. what a specimen!

Need to look up her crystal class, too and axis of rotation.

Now, she belongs in Dana’s Manual of Mineralogy.

8:26 pm July, 7 G said...

lol…when I read the comment that her boobs sound like 2 beachballs rubbing together when she walks, I cracked up…would rather hear that, than the vuvuzelas playing today…

Very nice rack…I have a place to park the pink sub now…it would be like driving a mini into an airport hangar. I guess I would have to bounce around the walls to feel anything…and by feel anything, I mean leave a nice pearl necklace just under her chin.

8:29 pm July, 7 DarkSock said...

bOObzilla

8:58 pm July, 7 MoeDouche said...

LOL! Now that is comedy! LOL!

10:39 pm July, 7 Wheezer said...

In Soviet Russia, the computer program Photoshop YOU!

7:36 am July, 8 I R A Darth Aggie said...

It is a crying shame that woman hasn’t seen her feet since she was 10.

1:25 pm July, 8 Milo said...

I’m going with the flow here. There are many ironic things here about Boris’ presentation, but scrote is not one of them. On basis of insufficient evidence to convict, I move that the court award my client a “nottadouche.”

Also, Carmen Kinsley’s long-lost sister there. Dayum.

3:46 pm July, 12 Winchester Q. Douchington III, Esq. said...

Peace through superior breast size.

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