Friday, July 16, 2010

Captain Mediocre Works the Party

It’s a nice case of truth in advertising that Captain Mediocre didn’t give himself a better superhero name.

A 2.6 from Washington State and vague plans to be an “architect” because he once read a book on Frank Lloyd Wright do not belie his permanent residency on the couch of his best friend Dave.

Mindy is all that is bright and youthful and wholesome and boobie fondle about a spring summer day in Guadalcanal. She makes flowers bloom and small woodland creatures hump tree stumps. For that, I follow her around the supermarket aisles, pretending I’m looking for peanut butter.

EDIT: Pretty sure that’s Mindy again. Or her twin. Twins, Max. Imagine the possibilities.

# posted by douchebag1
11:17 am July, 16 Mr. Biggs said...

Glad to know I’m not the only one who pulls off that supermarket move.

11:21 am July, 16 Crucial Head said...

Silly DB1. Frank Lloyd Wright and his brother Orville built the first airplane… they weren’t architects.

11:29 am July, 16 Crucial Head said...

And even though this brunette has a lot of foundation on, I would love to erect a monument uponst it.

.

And by ‘monument,’ I mean flying fleshy buttress.

11:55 am July, 16 Eliza Douchecoo said...

This dude ain’t got shit on the Mindy’s other meatbag unless he’s got a douchey tattoo of some viking bitch on his thigh or something. This was taken right before the shirtless tool came over and asked him what the fuck he was doing with his biatch.

12:00 pm July, 16 Wheezer said...

Two Mindys are better than one, especially if she might be today’s Friday Ass Pear.

.

You mugs enjoy your weekend – I’m off to work!

12:04 pm July, 16 mr.reeve said...

Yikes! Very nice boobage Mindy. Dude is not really that annoying to me. This could be my lack of sleep and small hang over talking though. “Git sum!!!”

12:07 pm July, 16 Medusa Oblongata said...

He reminds me of my portfolio manager. Not a good thing. Weekend warriors. However, if driving a desk, getting a bad tan and sucking up to the man gets you that kind of poonanny, I might have to look into it.

12:24 pm July, 16 Bagnonymous said...

I’m gonna go ahead and imagine that there are two Mindys floating about this earth. Yup, that’ll pretty much do it… the rest of my day’s ruined, like my pants.

12:42 pm July, 16 Troy Tempest said...

Medusa – WTF? Italian Stallion’s gone for what- 48 hours and already you’re lusting after wooo party hotts? Take a shower, darlin’. Or go sand the upstairs landing. Or install the solar hotwater thing on your roof. Or stucco where the drop ceiling used to be. Make pussy patterns in the stucco, so when Mr Biscotti returns you can look at plaster pussy while he’s banging away on your feminine entrance. But gettin’ all confrusterpated over Mindy is not a wise use of your energies. She isn’t worth it.

12:49 pm July, 16 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

What are the odds Beau came over after this picture was taken, shouted “WHAT TH’F*CKK!?” and started the nastiest arm flail slap fight that club has seen in at least two days?

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What are the odds that’s a smear of spermicide around Mindy’s left eye?

2:34 pm July, 16 DarkSock said...

Frank Lloyd Wright and Eudora Welty were actually the same person.
.
Medical Fact.
asa
as

2:39 pm July, 16 DarkSock said...

And they both invented the pump action air rifle.

4:04 pm July, 16 massengill said...

Mindy reminds me of Chun Li from Street Fighter. Except, like, the Caucasian version.

4:05 pm July, 16 massengill said...

Correction: Street Fighter II

7:15 pm July, 16 Whoop-di-douche said...

DarkSock…Eudora had a prettier hairpiece that really worked, whereas Wright was a piece of work who was always in a hairy situation…

7:16 pm July, 16 Whoop-di-douche said...

Jessica Leigh AKA Mindy gets around. That is all.

7:54 pm July, 16 Baleen said...

Does he have dirty toilet paper draped over his shoulder?

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I’d like to introduce my friend Peter to her buddy Hymen.

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Heh, “buddy hymen”. Heh.

8:02 pm July, 16 doucheywallnuts said...

I dub thee Dilettante Douche…

10:28 am July, 17 Steve L. said...

of all the properties that Frank Lloyd Wright owned, the only one that Captain Mediocre knows anything about is Taliesin West. in SCOTTSDALE.

… someone had to say that.

10:16 pm July, 17 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

Yeah, this guy really IS mediocre. He’s even mediocre at being a douchenozzle. In fact, he’s darn close to Nottadouche IMHO. Nonetheless its good this was posted because Mindy’s there. I suspect Mindy’s not mediocre at much. For example, she’s very good at causing me to want to fucc mayonaisse. Beware the tuna salad.

11:01 pm July, 17 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

@Mr. Scrotato Head: For the love of god, man! Your spermicide comment caused me to picture Capt. Mediocre doing some kinked-up eyeball-banging action on the lovely mindy/jessica. Because, you know, why else would someone put it there and not where it belongs… (which is where I [or parts of me] belong, but don’t have a snowflake’s chance in a kiln in hell of being) The preceding parenthetical is one of the most effed-up sentences ever spewed and I’m ashamed that I’m not ashamed of it. But I digress. The idea of this couple engaged in some form of ocular boffing has upset my stomach a little. That’s all I’m saying. Really.

4:11 am July, 18 Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser said...

Annie Hall reference noted and appreciated.

7:08 pm July, 18 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Troy–it’s been rough. I packed up all my vibrators, but not in the right box.

.

Thank you, I’ll be here all week.

9:37 pm July, 21 jez said...

Nobody can blame a guy for having a receding hairline. Luck of the draw.

But look at this dope. Someone’s told him that it’s important for a douche to have sticky-up hair. So of course he does it. And the effect is like looking at a distant treeline. It actually accentuates — actually accentuates, I like that — the acres of bone-dome in front of it.

Note to douche: 1. Go to an adult barbershop. 2. Ask for an adult’s haircut.

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