Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Caption This Pic

And suddenly Suzanne understood how “Lake Herpasaurus” got its name.

# posted by douchebag1
11:10 am July, 28 Baron Von Goolo said...

FIRE!

11:12 am July, 28 MoeDouche said...

AIM AGAIN!

11:13 am July, 28 Baron Von Goolo said...

Run! Run! As fast as you can!

But you can’t catch me!

I’m the unleavened wad of amateur stripper!

11:14 am July, 28 Wheezer said...

Somewhere amongst this giggle gaggle of hearty jigglers Spring Breaking from U. of Georgia is a pink-flotation device wearing douchebag.

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Look closely. Can you find him?

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.

.

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Hmmmmm…..I think we all know why the Boss writes these things instead of me.

11:15 am July, 28 scrotum pole said...

The pilot smiled as he fired up the F-18’s engines, knowing that this would be his quickest and most memorable combat kill.

11:15 am July, 28 Fatness said...

Ginger never considered the alternate meanings for “heartfelt”.

11:15 am July, 28 Wheezer said...

(Hopes Dicy notices the school I used.)

11:17 am July, 28 Baron Von Goolo said...

Tony knew that tapping a 5, a 2 and three 1s was not the same as hitting a 10, but that’s not how he told the story.

11:20 am July, 28 scrotum pole said...

Cindy hoped the hearts-on-nips look would attract attention away from her triple-jointed left leg.

11:23 am July, 28 Eliza Douchecoo said...

If you’re the fattest one of your friends wouldn’t you wear more clothes, Lady Gaga wouldn’t even wear that to Target.

11:24 am July, 28 Fatness said...

Melanie demonstrates the correct way to hold your iPhone 4 for perfect reception.

11:27 am July, 28 Wheezer said...

Raul knew exactly what to wear to his/her post-op ‘coming out’ party: that cute new teal bikini.

11:28 am July, 28 scrotum pole said...

Gretchen thought it would be funny to sunblock her entire body except two heart-shaped areas around her nipples.

11:29 am July, 28 Fatness said...

MARSHALL, Mich. (AP): The oil slick floating down the Kalamazoo River toward Lake Michigan is discovered to be much more toxic than originally thought.

11:31 am July, 28 smackdouche said...

While Luanne knows that hot chicks always have an ugly friend on hand, she hasn’t yet realized who holds that position in her circle of friends.

11:32 am July, 28 Anthony LaBaglia said...

Suzanne was so excited to have found enough Cherry Red #13 to paint her gigantic nipples, she didn’t even notice that her baby was coming out feet-first.

11:34 am July, 28 Bagnonymous said...

Holy shittles, whose disembodied foot is the topless chick sitting on?

11:35 am July, 28 End the Haberdouchery said...

Mike was criticized for being hypocritical for his “Safety First” approach as he wore water wings while going 40 mph through the no wake zone.

11:38 am July, 28 Medusa Oblongata said...

Good gravy. I never wanted chrome boat accessories to be gatling guns so bad in my entire life.

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BVG @ 11:13 FTW. The only hard piece of wood I can imagine going into her is a fucking rolling pin. Ladies, please note: If your waist is wider than both your hips and your bust, it’s time for a strict diet and to re-assess your wardrobe.

11:39 am July, 28 massengill said...

If I was to list these ladies in order of which I wanted to see wearing pasties to which I would least like to see wearing pasties, the one who I would least like to see wearing pasties would actually be wearing them.

11:42 am July, 28 Medusa Oblongata said...

I’m proud of women who are comfortable with their less-than perfect bodies. I am horrified by women who desperately seek affirmation by making a spectacle of their less-than perfect bodies.Get that dough back in the sack, Jiggles. Getting fucked by a hundred drunken spring break douchebags isn’t going to make the pain go away.

11:42 am July, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

MooMoo on the Beach.

11:43 am July, 28 bigphatnotadouche said...

I would say that I usually get a tingle when looking at HCWDB’s pictures.

Not with this one: everything turned turtle.

WTF is wrong with these people?

11:44 am July, 28 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Mike insisted on wearing the pink floaties on the offchance he might hook up with heart nips and fall into her gaping vagina.

11:45 am July, 28 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Even though her stint at the Jenny Craig clinic did not have the desired effect, Becky still liked to show off as much of herself as legally possible.

11:46 am July, 28 Crucial Head said...

“On the count of three, I want everyone who is homosexual to raise both hands.”

11:48 am July, 28 Crucial Head said...

Elmer’s younger brother, Elroy Fudd, orchestrated his firearms so his prey had little chance of escaping.

11:50 am July, 28 Crucial Head said...

Meanwhile, DarkSock stared in disbelief at the spectacle taking place on the boat across the water, before going back to mending the hole on his grounded fishing boat.

11:51 am July, 28 E-blo's Last Thought said...

…and in this picture, Andy eloquently shows us the next direction “Charlie’s Hemorrhoids” were headed next.

11:52 am July, 28 UFO Destroyers said...

@Baron:

I think you must have the resolution turned up to 11 on your monitor if there is a five amongst this gaggle.

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Well, I take that back. There appears to be one on the fantail of the boat in the background.

11:52 am July, 28 Crucial Head said...

Melanie was thankful that the melanoma on her areola’s had morphed into such cute shapes.

11:56 am July, 28 douche bagel said...

someone under suzanne is screaming tapout but not loud enough

12:04 pm July, 28 scrotum pole said...

Captain Ahab and crew are filled with jubilant celebation after finally capturing and landing the White Whale.

12:06 pm July, 28 Claude Douchenburg said...

I’ve always heard that the fat ones try harder…I guess it’s true.

12:20 pm July, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I demand a wasp waist. Puh-LEEZE, spare us the chubs, it’s bad enough when the douchebags are stuffed. Two days’ wait for the ass pear damages, they better be damn good this week.

12:24 pm July, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Sigma Phi Epsilon’s annual lake party took a bare-faced turn when the infamous “House with the Heart On” stripper showed up barefoot and pregnant.

12:26 pm July, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Waterwings Walt couldn’t find anybody to man those torpedos.

12:30 pm July, 28 Eliza Douchecoo said...

Moments after this picture was taken, Hedonism Rick stopped by to grind on Sarah’s leg, at which point she put her shirt back on…until he left.

12:32 pm July, 28 Good Chief Geroniscrote said...

I went on a frat ski trip and all I got was these lousy heart stickers…

12:43 pm July, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Hollywood destroys yet another classic with their Summer release of Bag’leship Pootempkin.

12:50 pm July, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Melanie’s one deformed left foot wasn’t nearly as strange as her matching heart-shaped nips.

12:54 pm July, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

I was really trying to figure out what’s wrong with this photo, when suddenly, I spotted it: The blonde is wearing NO sunglasses!

12:56 pm July, 28 Et Tu Douche? said...

I heart nipples

12:57 pm July, 28 tall guy said...

Q – How much of the Concorde did this group really design?

A – Very little.

12:57 pm July, 28 Douche Springsteen said...

A new game has taken the beaches by storm this summer: Bleeth, Bleeth, Douche.

1:00 pm July, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

“Lolita” with her heart-shaped sunglasses and coy pose by the pool had let herself go, and with 21st century flair, repurposed the lenses into other useful items.

1:02 pm July, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

America, armed to the nips.

1:04 pm July, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

While blondes may have more fun, brunettes have better taste and cover their eyes in modesty while being bushwhacked by blondes.

1:05 pm July, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

No one on the boat had the “heart” to tell Fred that there wasn’t a sixth Spice Girl.

1:15 pm July, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Fred started the cruise with a “Woo!”

And the girls started to pose right on cue.

Each tried to look cool

while surrounding this tool

even the transgendered gent in blue.

1:17 pm July, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Maestro Walter conducts his Rhinemaidens barefoot and backwards, but nobody gives a Gotterdammerung.

1:17 pm July, 28 Troy Tempest said...

The fifth year reunion of Bakersfield HS drama club met at lake Havapoo this weekend. In this photo they are reprising the closing moments of their favourite musical, Titty Twanker and the Wandering Jews”, a light hearted musical based on the life of Savonarola.

1:17 pm July, 28 ToddJerad said...

If you wear pink floaties on more than one occasion, we should be aloud to put you down. Any chance this guy does anything besides lift trucks for a living? I vote heart nips for hall of hott, just for being drunk enough to think that was a good idea.

1:19 pm July, 28 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Who’s up for a game of “Shoots and Ladders?” shouted Ted.

1:29 pm July, 28 Vin Douchal said...

This is my boat ! These are my cockk rings! These are my bitches ! Smile for the camera, bitches!”

1:34 pm July, 28 Battlescrote Galactica said...

On this episode of Mythbusters, Jamie proves once again that a 10 degree hat tilt, hot pink water wings, and a chubby blonde with pasties STILL cannot provide enough buoyancy to keep a douchbag from sinking straight to the bottom of Lake Broverkill…

1:40 pm July, 28 darksock said...

As the boat reached cruising speed, Chad said “There it is again…that empty bottle whistling sound…”.

1:42 pm July, 28 darksock said...

As the Dildo Gatling Gun firing lever was cocked into place Cindy lunged in front of the crowd, leaving behind a rooster tail of Astro-Glide®.

1:48 pm July, 28 Jaan Kanellis said...

1 Swimless Douche

1 Hearted Lake Rhino

4 Hots

= Priceless

1:55 pm July, 28 Douchble Helix said...

I’m am sitting here laughing at the chubby broad with the pasties. You can’t make this shit up.

2:00 pm July, 28 scrotum pole said...

Troy 1:17,

“Lake Havapoo”

{{snicker, snicker}}

2:19 pm July, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That chick with the blue top is sporting a surprise in her pants. She is a dude.

2:45 pm July, 28 creature said...

Ahab, quick grab the harpoon… white whale HO!

3:57 pm July, 28 Ultra Bagnus said...

Chubby McPasties surely regrets those late night BK runs that magically grew from “just a salad” to “3 whoppers, large fries, and a diet coke.” Yeah, diet coke… cuz it’s healthier.

4:04 pm July, 28 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’d really hate to see what Blondie looks like when she’s not sucking her gunt in.

5:02 pm July, 28 Abdouchah the Butcher said...

Look, I could comment on how blue bikini is a tranny or the humor of douche-boy’s stunning pink floaties and how it appears he is about to be turned to douchedust by an airplane, but I won’t. I’ll just say fwappity fwappity fwapp regarding the chubby blonde with the pasties. I say bravo to her daring in these up-tight times.

5:40 pm July, 28 Steve L. said...

before being executed with a multitude of cannons and rifles, the cabal of war criminals were granted their last wish.

6:49 pm July, 28 Dicy said...

@Wheezer

I so noticed. And if the way the girls dress dt Athens is any indication, that girl is probably my classmate, ha. Seriously I know I’ve seen girls dressed like this midwinter. Its almost impressive, their dedication to skank-wear.

As for my picture caption:

“Look at me! I have daddy issues!”

6:57 pm July, 28 Memphis Bleeth said...

I’m on a scrote!!

7:50 pm July, 28 McDude said...

How can I get people to stop staring at my gunt…

I’ve got it!

8:39 pm July, 28 Dicy said...

^^^

Darksock?

But really, I have a GHD straightener. They are really nice. Not sure I feel as strongly about them as this guy…

8:58 pm July, 28 Andy said...

for some reason the anal probes only breached the men

6:00 am July, 29 mr.reeve said...

This is a mixture of bad, worse, douche and hot. I am so confused.

6:19 am July, 29 Euripidouche plucking her Ladyflower said...

i’m gonna have to disagree with the consensus, not everyone was born to be an 8, sixes and sevens, even fours and fives, need something to compete.

speaking heterosexually, most men have an even simpler scale, its yes or no, i declare that fun though you might make, boughblonde would be able to bang just about any guy who posts here, and secure drinks cabfare and breakfast, in advance….

now, knowing that she is a yes, though admittedly flawed, i suggest that most of us would also enjoy seeing any chick we deem a yes, naked, regardless of context.

what i propose is we allow the less attractive women, a chance to equalize the scale by being more naked, thus securing more of the horny attention than the system currently affords.

8:09 am July, 29 the motley douche said...

I’ve got nothing against thicker women. In fact, I prefer them over the rail-thin, anorexic bean-pole build that appears to be “in” these days. But just because I prefer that build doesn’t mean I condone the decision that led to this pic.

Seriously…put on a freakin’ shirt already.

8:26 am July, 29 mr.reeve said...

^Well said MD.

8:59 am July, 29 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Whoop Di Douche @ 12:24 – love the SPE reference.

9:03 am July, 29 Douchble Helix said...

EPHL @ 6:19. There’s *some* merit to what you say.

I used to have 1 rule. If her gut is bigger than mine, she’s a ‘no’.

She used to be a ‘no’. I’m a little bit bigger now, sure, she’s a ‘yes’. But she shouldn’t be showing off her big beer belly like that. Well, she can do whatever she wants, really.

6:21 pm July, 29 Anonymous said...

the talent agent asked “what do you call the act?

douchebags replies “The aristocrats!”

9:17 pm July, 29 Stephanie said...

This is the last pose before they mounted those guns and were shot over the lake.

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