Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Four Prong Is Unimpressed

While Four Prong may have lost our last HCwDB of the Month to The Sharkbag and Renee, The Prong’s ability to pull A-List Hotts remains impressive.

Take that, Canadian Mountinis. Lets see how you do in the Monthly.

# posted by douchebag1
9:05 am July, 14 chaserofthehott said...

Oh, COME ON, not IT again!!!! I hate this thing…

9:08 am July, 14 creature said...

hotts like the Prong because he can pick their noses without getting his stinky lil paws in their mugs

9:09 am July, 14 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Watch the tongue, Shania. 4P shreads scrap metal with those things.

9:10 am July, 14 creature said...

plus his head looks like a violet wand attachment

9:11 am July, 14 Justin said...

“I said lick my dong, not my…oh….wait…that feels gooooood…”

9:12 am July, 14 Mr. White said...

If by “pull A-list hotts” you mean “stand near paid-to-pose chicks when someone has a camera,” then yes, I agree with your assessment. Otherwise, Four-Prong is the guy the hotts score free coke from. They feel sorry for him, so after the delivery, they let him hang around on the couch and watch HGTV and masturbate while they bang their douchey boyfriends in the bedroom. Or in front of him, if they don’t feel that bad for him.

9:14 am July, 14 DarkSock said...

That guy is a forking dork.

.

9:14 am July, 14 DarkSock said...

^sorry…

9:19 am July, 14 creature said...

he takes Viagra to keep those tines stiff

9:26 am July, 14 DarkSock said...

She’s with him for all the prong reasons.

9:27 am July, 14 DarkSock said...

She’s been looking for a good hard fork.

9:37 am July, 14 Bag Margera said...

For all those who think that these girls are paid to pose, I ask how much would it cost to get these chicks to lick a crusty, bleached, mercury-poisoned hair spike on a short, tacky, dykish 13 year old?

9:37 am July, 14 JBagg said...

Has anyone ever noticed how he could pass for a pudgy Joaquin Phoenix.

9:46 am July, 14 Vin Douchal said...

The only use for this pigeon turd I can think of is to stick hot dogs on them prongs and hold him face down on my BBQ . Of course, no one would eat them, but you get the picture

9:54 am July, 14 tall guy said...

More Prong=more gender confusion. It baffles me.

9:54 am July, 14 DarkSock said...

He is her ValenTINE

.

.

.

sorry…

9:56 am July, 14 DarkSock said...

Cindy wept at his story of his rough childhood; his mother conceived him after being raped by a pitchfork.

9:59 am July, 14 DarkSock said...

Her heart raced for this man, so mysterious,

With gender and hair choices so curious;

They’re Friends with Benefits

While he fondles her tits

She gets free HBO, XM and Sirius.

10:22 am July, 14 Mr. White said...

Don’t be so mean to Four Prong. He just got this fortune cookie.

10:24 am July, 14 Mr. White said...

^He just got an unclickable link, apparently. Trying again.

THIS fortune cookie.

10:25 am July, 14 Bagnonymous said...

I highly suspect that 4Prong is engaged in a guerilla marketing scheme for Budweiser Select. There’s no mistaking that crown–or the shittiness that lay beneath.

.

But who knew Debra Messing was in on it, too? Ain’t that a sumbitch!

10:27 am July, 14 Fatness said...

Where’s the hott? All I see is a flat-chested club skank and some mutant wearing a porcupine on his head.

10:28 am July, 14 Fatness said...

Bagnon…I believe you may be correct. Shit marketing for shit beer.

10:30 am July, 14 Et Tu Douche? said...

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!, not 4 prong again?

10:33 am July, 14 scrotum pole said...

When Four-Prong’s mother suffered severe damage to her birth canal, the family’s hospital bills almost caused them to lose the farm.

They made the best of a bad situation however, when it was discovered that Four-Prong could be used as a very serviceable pitch-fork.

10:40 am July, 14 Whoop-di-douche said...

Five-Prongs, count ‘em.

He really reminds me more of the younger, plumper Jimmy Dean. Prong here has plenty of sausage handles and charbroil-ready hair.

10:57 am July, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’m still going with “him” being a producer/director of low-budget gonzo pornos. That’s the only way “he” can get these chicks to even come within a 50 ft radius of “him”. I’m sure the “movies” that he makes have classy titles like “The Dog Jerker” and “Porch Beef Infection Party vol. 37″. Once “he” gets them hooked on meth he’ll be able to finish “his” 98 vol masterpiece “Do You Want Prongs With That?”

10:58 am July, 14 tall guy said...

@ Whoop-di-douche

I can see the Dean similarity. In fact, your observation has finally put to rest just who the Prong reminded me of. However I’d say any similarity ends with this random likeness, and I’m recommending we forgetaboutit lest Prong attempts developing a lookalike gig of some sort. Imagine, I ask you, what potential suffering exists to law abiding folk from exposure to mainstream circulation of that most hideous of things: The Prong.

11:26 am July, 14 mr.reeve said...

I actually love when “It’s Pat” Prong shows up. It brings the club skanks everytime. Plus I need another chick for my co-ed softball team so look me up Prong. I am sure it can mash.

11:50 am July, 14 scrotum pole said...

The pronger was once found upside-down, kicking and screaming, stuck in grass like a lawn dart when he fell off the ladder while painting his house.

12:22 pm July, 14 Deltus said...

Dude’s gotta be rich. I don’t see a wankscrote like him pulling such quality without the enticement of much fundage.

12:30 pm July, 14 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Could you imagine what fun it would be to fork a friend’s yard using the twat instead?

4:03 pm July, 14 Whoop-di-douche said...

tall guy:

Well, the Jimmy Dean thing about Prong is his total lack of facial hair, as if he was taking estrogen to counteract testosterone. Which leads one to conjecture: maybe Prong is a she.

At least the probability of Prong’s resting place being a guitar or piano-shaped mini-mausoleum is exceedingly low.

And come to think of it, I don’t understand why Liberace wasn’t buried in a piano-shaped tomb, for that matter. And just imagine what kind of douche-style he would have continued to develop had he lived on into this century. After all, Lee was proto-douche gaybag.

4:09 pm July, 14 Troy Tempest said...

I was thinking, 4P might have his uses. He can grow his prongs, then we cut them off, bend them at 90 degrees in the middles and mount them on a handle – instant gardening claw.

4:16 pm July, 14 Whoop-di-douche said...

Gee, Troy, I see 5 prongs, and may Isuggest a five-speed stick-shift instead of a garden tool.

5:07 pm July, 14 Mr. Biggs said...

Wow, you know what, the more I look at this the more f’ed up it is. She wants to lick his prongs? Really? Is there some kind of new titillation in licking spiked hair gel? Is this is way of saying he has five penises?

Or are these creatures so reduced to the lair of spectacle that they feel they get attention merely by making the ostentatious, albeit groundless, display of licking?

6:09 pm July, 14 Steve L. said...

even more impressive is the fact that we’ve yet to see the Prong without his sunglasses.

and i thought Kettlehead overdid the sunglasses thing.

8:34 pm July, 14 Stephanie said...

not this doughface thing again…wtf? Can’t you find anyone else that sucks?

10:24 am July, 15 Douchelips said...

I disagree with most of the comments here. Four prong is awesome, four prong is douche, four prong does not care about your silly taunts. He continues to ‘bag the hotts with complete disdain for society or fashion norms.

.

For four prong has a secret weapon….the FIFTH prong!

7:22 am July, 16 douche splash said...

Four Prong always has the same smug douchesplash expression, but body language says it all and his girly’s game for sticking out her tongue but she just can’t wait to get away.

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