Friday, July 9, 2010

Friday Haiku

Sproing-hair, like space schlong.

Melvin’s wild years soon past.

But boobies abide.

This yeasty cod piece

Symbolic superstar scrote

Reluctant hots pose

— The Baggernaut

Murton in new sect

“hari hari krishna krishna poo”

armadillo ass

— Creature

Cormac McCarthy

Time to send Judge Holden in

To take a douche scalp

— Vin Douchal

Leopard hott needs to

declare independence from

the Red, White and Douche

— dknutty

Steve’s joke is pure corn

He ain’t no Texas Longhorn

But are his gals shorn?

— saulgoode42

Blonde Trisha consoles.

Boobies speak of brighter morn’s.

And navel concurs.

— Amerigo Vesdouchey

Mohawk Melvin mugs

Milf mammaries. Mexico

Mulls mass migration

— Mr. Scrotato Head

Red neck’s mohawk flag

Surrounded by two hots

I smell Skoals & Budweiser

— mr.reeve

In San Antone, they’ll

Remember the Alamo

by shaving his head.

— Wheezer

# posted by douchebag1
7:09 am July, 9 Wheezer said...

South Padre Island?

“Everything’s big in Texas”?

Dallas the Phallus

7:09 am July, 9 Colossus of Choads said...

I think Manfred Mann said it best:

Blinded by the blight,

wrapped up by a douche,

‘nother rooster in the light.

7:10 am July, 9 Vin Douchal said...

The shirt says “Woody’s”

Hair attempts to yell “Texas!”

Mankind responds, “BARF!”

7:11 am July, 9 saulgoode42 said...

Indy-Penance Day:

No tats or smirk, but he should

Say “sorry” for hair

7:13 am July, 9 Wheezer said...

Gulf spill bad enough;

“Houston, we have a problem”:

it’s “peeweecockking.”

7:16 am July, 9 Wheezer said...

In San Antone, they’ll

Remember the Alamo

by shaving his head.

7:16 am July, 9 The Baggernaut said...

This yeasty cod piece

Symbolic superstar scrote

Reluctant hots pose

7:17 am July, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Ass hole or douchebag?

Mohawk doubles as state flag

Shoot him, salute him?

7:17 am July, 9 saulgoode42 said...

Steve’s joke is pure corn

He ain’t no Texas Longhorn

But are his gals shorn?

7:20 am July, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Near sighted fuckwad

Bad bling and worse hairstyle choice

Soon blonde spy says, “Nyet”

7:21 am July, 9 Wheezer said...

Leopard bikini

meets leprous fauxhawk douchewank;

my skin is crawling

7:23 am July, 9 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Massive mohawk ain’t

The only thing rising here

Woodys? We got ’em

7:24 am July, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Melvin plays the bass

Lynyrd Skynyrd tribute band

Can’t you smell that smell ?

7:28 am July, 9 aceydouchey said...

Pudgy blonde leopard

Penicillin poster boy

Blind brunette tranny.

7:30 am July, 9 the douche is alright said...

Texas should secede

Make a law to kill this douche

and save the fair bleeths

7:30 am July, 9 Amerigo Vesoduchey said...

Sweet mother of hurl.

Lone star ‘bag ruins my morn’.

Sharkbag is impressed.

.

Blonde Trisha consoles.

Boobies speak of brighter morn’s.

And navel concurs.

.

.

-Amerigo Vesdouchey

7:31 am July, 9 mr.reeve said...

Red neck’s mohawk flag

Surrounded by two hots

I smell Skoals & Budweiser

7:31 am July, 9 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Mohawk wins ladies

Loses jobs. On weekdays reads

Will work for hair gel

7:31 am July, 9 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Two girls one douchebag

Deep in the heart of Texas

Is that ex-prez Bush?

7:32 am July, 9 Wheezer said...

30-year-old MILFs

give Padre a last try; learn their

husbands “aren’t so bad.”

7:34 am July, 9 Wheezer said...

Thelma and Louise

will gladly drive off a cliff

to escape this poo

7:36 am July, 9 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Hair screams “Look at me!!”

Ladies won’t stay long. Lone Star?

More like Alone Star

7:37 am July, 9 dknutty said...

Leopard hott needs to

declare independence from

the Red, White and Douche

7:38 am July, 9 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Texas hand gun law

Says everyone can carry

He’s got two minutes

7:39 am July, 9 Wheezer said...

They knew he was poo;

all doubt removed when he said,

“Hi, I’m from Brownsville.”

7:39 am July, 9 Dicy said...

Quick! Sweet brunette, docuhe

Is looking the other way,

Run into my arms!

7:40 am July, 9 Dicy said...

Blah typos… douche*

7:43 am July, 9 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Mohawk Melvin mugs

Milf mammaries. Mexico

Mulls mass migration

.

A throwback to last week.

7:45 am July, 9 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Had solid haiku

Then Dicy shows up…it goes

Blue cleavage distracts

7:47 am July, 9 creature said...

release POW

Hanoi Jane & Sharon Stone

have seen better days!

7:48 am July, 9 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Tattered Texas flag

Not fit to fly. Should be burned

Oh, and the douche too

7:50 am July, 9 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Milfs should know better

Preening douche cocks are all show

Hair is all that’s hard

7:50 am July, 9 DoucheCrusher said...

House is on fire

The girl on right looks like

Hot Lisa Cuddy

7:51 am July, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Cormac McCarthy

Time to send Judge Holden in

To take a douche scalp

7:51 am July, 9 Wheezer said...

“Hey, y’all like longhorns?”

asks Mitch; ladies just chuckle.

They know all the bull.

7:53 am July, 9 dknutty said...

Lethal injection

not cruel or unusual

for Lone Star douchebag

7:53 am July, 9 creature said...

Murton in new sect

“hari hari krishna krishna poo”

armadillo ass

7:55 am July, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Hair allows excuse

No shower for days on end

Next up is dreadlocks

7:57 am July, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Melvin’s slick version

“Texas Ass Hat” all the rage

No one cares so far

7:59 am July, 9 Wheezer said...

Luckenbach, Texas,

population 3; this is

why it’s a ghost town.

8:01 am July, 9 Wheezer said...

Not feelin’ haiku…..

not much different from most days,

but this should be cake…..

.

Hair like that should be

inspiring some good stuff, but

I’m mangling badly.

8:05 am July, 9 Vin Douchal said...

I don’t agree , Wheez

7:32 Haiku

Is front page worthy

8:07 am July, 9 Wheezer said...

Thanks, Vin, but I think

if I make front page, it’s by

default; numbers down.

8:10 am July, 9 Wheezer said...

Brownsville’s Club Choada

“Scrotin’ in the Boys’ Room” for

hours to get hair right.

8:19 am July, 9 fidouchiary responsibility said...

Lone Star stench taints hotts

Douche in the Heart of Texas

Please, let him secede

8:20 am July, 9 Wheezer said...

Boss sympathetic;

read my haiku, then wished he’d

skipped this week, not last.

8:23 am July, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Fuccen summer school

teaching prevents haiku fun.

Be back in 3 weeks.

8:25 am July, 9 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Wheezer

.

Dog days of Summer

Are weighing on baghunters

Time for vacation

8:30 am July, 9 Wheezer said...

Could be, Scrotato,

but Boss hinted at something

else in Hardy post

.

Haiku numbers down

Has complacency set in?

‘Hunters are elsewhere…..?

.

We used to get more

than one hundred haiku in

an hour with much ease.

8:33 am July, 9 Crucial Head said...

Work equals Crucial

Haiku fail again – maybe

Next week I’ll be here.

.

——————————————————–

.

Lone star state of mind

If by ‘star’, you meant brain cell

But Texas sized boobs.

8:34 am July, 9 Douchelips said...

He had to work hard

For such spectacular suck

Next time jheri curl

8:49 am July, 9 lucious lupus john thinks a brillo box is art said...

better than ass pear

more delicious than ripple

click the link, behold

http://www.pinstripemag.com/2010/07/lily-cole-rosie-huntingtonwhiteley-patricia-schmid-yasnub-lebon-tuuli-shipster-lianna-fowler-and-kat.html

9:01 am July, 9 Jaques Doucheteau said...

Though mostly a myth

Scalping was practiced at times

Here they missed a spot

9:04 am July, 9 DarkSock said...

The numbers are down

Ennui sets in…WAKE UP FOLKS!

This is how Rome died.

9:05 am July, 9 DarkSock said...

“BURN THE FLAG”, they yell.

But then this douchebag walks up.

“BURN THE FAG”, they yell.

9:08 am July, 9 DarkSock said...

Recent lapse in posts

Can be easily explained:

June Rehab discounts.

.

Clinics, not the club.

Baghunting hurts the liver,

Gouges the mind’s eye.

.

Veteran hunters

Strain, sweat at the urinal;

Red pee trickles forth.

9:11 am July, 9 Whoop-di-douche said...

Deep in the heart of

Texas a long-horned cow weeps

for a true red bull.

9:27 am July, 9 DarkSock said...

Perhaps….Olestra/Douche Haiku challenge?

9:28 am July, 9 DarkSock said...

Olean-made hair gel

Stiffens his butt-crust hair flag;

Brown star of Texas

9:29 am July, 9 Whoop-di-douche said...

Remember the Al-

amo, forget the ass-hat:

Texas’ troubling times.

9:29 am July, 9 Just Me said...

That’s gonna be one sweet comb over in 20 years.

9:31 am July, 9 Whoop-di-douche said...

Yellow Rose and Black

Beauty know they’re true Texas

beauties: flag head, NOTT!

9:36 am July, 9 Wankel Scrotary Engine said...

Yeasty hands on hotts

His red, white and blue hair vane

Made from nylon poo

9:41 am July, 9 Crucial Head said...

Olestral movement

Shivers his teeny timbers

Makes hair stand up straight.

9:42 am July, 9 Crucial Head said...

This douchebag embibed

Olean flag, then took dump

Cleaned bowl with his hair.

9:44 am July, 9 Whoop-di-douche said...

Douche-hat needs to be

whipped with ten-gallon hat and

rattlesnakeskin boots.

9:45 am July, 9 Crucial Head said...

In Texas always

Look behind you, ‘cuz that’s where

Anal Ranger is.

9:47 am July, 9 Crucial Head said...

Deep in the fart of

Texas, a yellow rose is

Shat uponst by chode.

9:47 am July, 9 Whoop-di-douche said...

Oleanna and

Santa Ana, Lone Star State!

Gee-awhhh! San Antone!

9:48 am July, 9 Crucial Head said...

In the Lone Shart State

Olestra will reign supreme

Brown showers rain down.

9:51 am July, 9 Crucial Head said...

Olestra’s sweet tune

Echos in porcelain throne

Makes perfume for skunks.

9:56 am July, 9 Whoop-di-douche said...

Five-pointed star on

hair requires a six-shooter.

Ten…nine…eight…seven…

9:58 am July, 9 Whoop-di-douche said...

When Mohicans take

tribal issues to Texas,

they get the “treatment.”

10:04 am July, 9 Whoop-di-douche said...

Davey Crockett wore

coonskin cap; Ass-Rocket wears

shark-fin dyed clap-trap.

10:12 am July, 9 Whoop-di-douche said...

Ramifications

of viewing “The Scream” are high

and wide for Texans.

10:14 am July, 9 Whoop-di-douche said...

Dagwood Bumstead wept

to see his son Alexander

go Texas douchebag.

10:18 am July, 9 Whoop-di-douche said...

Mexican cartels

might be driven back by the

sight of this twat-head.

10:23 am July, 9 Vin Douchal said...

All smiles now ’til

Sweet Olestra accident

Leaves mohawk flaccid

10:24 am July, 9 Whoop-di-douche said...

Douche-head is only

two-star, hair and scalp; hotts get

five-star boobs rating.

10:27 am July, 9 Whoop-di-douche said...

Ocelots and jag-

uars declined douche photo-op:

leopards were called in.

10:30 am July, 9 Whoop-di-douche said...

Disguised as leopard,

cougar makes hair-raising move

on Texas bobcat.

11:32 am July, 9 DarkSock said...

Suppressed Olean chips

Denied exit through brown-eye

Sprays from skull instead.

12:38 pm July, 9 Reverend Jessi Jackdouche said...

Bag a scrote,

Mr T needs hair his back

Fuck you shit sandwich

12:40 pm July, 9 Reverend Jessi Jack-douche said...

Bag a scrote,

Mr T needs his hair back

Fuck you shit sandwich

1:56 pm July, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Age old question in

Texas: Are you steer or queer?

Douche has no answer.

2:32 pm July, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

MILF mom and friend pose

with retarded step-child. Wish

gun laws were more lax.

2:40 pm July, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

A single Nolan

Ryan fastball to his head

would make Texans proud.

4:57 pm July, 9 Bag Margera said...

Missed out on today,

but its alliteration

time for Margera.

Blonde Babe’s bigger

boobs bug bothered brunette, but

bastard busts boner.

5:22 pm July, 9 Whoop-di-douche said...

Texas razorback

afflicts Hotts with boarish ‘tude,

and Grieco swine flu.

5:35 pm July, 9 Mr. Biggs said...

This picture is proof that these women’s attraction has nothing to do with their muscles or their tans, but is simply a function of how ridiculous they look.

Sorry I’m not good with the haiku when I look at this stuff.

3:11 am July, 10 Disconnected said...

Raise the flag slowly

Our culture is sadly broken

Penis sticks hott

9:10 am July, 10 Steve L. said...

if not Texas if

there’s no cactus rammed into

this douchebag’s anus.

9:11 am July, 10 Steve L. said...

IT’S not Texas if

there’s no cactus rammed into

this douchebag’s anus.

.

grrr…

12:46 pm July, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

Gulf oil disaster

spawns new petrolates hair gel

brand: Marlin’s Sailfish.

11:18 am July, 11 Clint said...

“So, I was sitting at my friends’ place, trying to figure out what to do after he finishes fucking my mouth, when it hits me…….I should spike all of this dirty hair straight up, and paint it to look like a symbol of Texan gay pride! Genius!!! The added bonus was that when Bruce came all over my face, we mixed it with the white paint to make the star!” – Melvin the fagbag

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