Friday, July 30, 2010

Friday Haiku

Wonderbread lake turds,

Burnt to a douchebag crisp,

No hott, so here’s pear.

Douches forgot their

SPF. God smites them with

nuclear sun rays.

— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

Call Carl Spackler

to get three pieces of poo

out of Bushwood Lake

— dknutty

Overcome by fumes

Burnt by the tanning bed sun

Twin choads flank MILF Hott

— SonnyChibaChoad

Oil slick rises up

Takes a semi-human form

and poses for pic.

— Hot Buttered Poopcorn

Microscope view shows

paramecium party;

single brain cell ‘bags.

— Wheezer

Fart squealching grimace

Proud choads pose with their mom

Won chili contest

— Vin Douchal

Tony’s blue blockers

Can’t stop Tina’s fake knockers

All three are Fokkers

— saulgoode42

Lake trip mem’ries fade

But some things last forever

Like melanoma

— Mr. Scrotato Head

# posted by douchebag1
7:03 am July, 30 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

That long-ass necklace

Could probably be used to

hang all 3 of them?

7:04 am July, 30 Wheezer said...

Rock pear? I’m rock hard.

Ideal Friday wakeup

instead of orange choads.

7:04 am July, 30 Wheezer said...

Syllabication

blown in last line there; I need

a new editor.

7:05 am July, 30 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

This is no HD

picture. Good thing. You don’t want

to see scrote clearly.

7:06 am July, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Splur-ka! Splur-ka! Fluuush!

Damn it! Stop coming back up!

Spur-ka! Splur-ka! Fluuush!

7:06 am July, 30 Wheezer said...

Party in Gulf grease;

looks like DarkSock’s been boating

again: background crash.

7:09 am July, 30 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Douches forgot their

SPF. God smites them with

nuclear sun rays.

7:09 am July, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Zeke hugs his baked bro

Lorna is a Butterface

I’d reach past her too

7:09 am July, 30 Wheezer said...

Burnt sienna bods

leave Crayola box behind,

party, pose, get drunk.

7:10 am July, 30 dknutty said...

Call Carl Spackler

to get three pieces of poo

out of Bushwood Lake

7:11 am July, 30 Wheezer said...

I’d still bang that MILF,

but new divorceé instead

likes her frat boy toys.

7:12 am July, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Kid Grunt and Scorchman

Havasu super heroes

Pose with Lois Plain

7:13 am July, 30 Wheezer said...

Dina Lohan shows

Lindsay what she’s been missing;

PR train rolls on.

7:14 am July, 30 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

This is no BP

cleanup crew. Their posing in

a big hog waller

7:15 am July, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Red Skin, lobster abs

They keep screaming “Bro!”, next time

Boil them head first

7:15 am July, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Fart squealching grimace

Proud choads pose with their mom

Won chili contest

7:16 am July, 30 mr.reeve said...

Extra crispy said Tony

Boobs were big and fake

Sal wants to be be Poo

7:16 am July, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Beefy and Bumpy,

They didn’t know Pumpy

All they know is Poo.

7:17 am July, 30 mr.reeve said...

Maria is not hot

Pass another Bud Light

I see river logs

7:17 am July, 30 Wheezer said...

Evidence quickly

washed off left choad’s anal beads;

lake party “AWESOME!”

7:18 am July, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Arizona sun

Draws melanoma target

On deserving poo

7:18 am July, 30 saulgoode42 said...

MILF is stretching it

Gulf is (sadly) wretching it

Ralph is fetching it

7:18 am July, 30 mr.reeve said...

Water is turning brown

Tony wants to be down

At least they aren’t wearing Speedos

7:19 am July, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Lake trip mem’ries fade

But some things last forever

Like melanoma

7:19 am July, 30 mr.reeve said...

I am hung over

Too much scotch and beer

This pic made me hurl

7:20 am July, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Chili Pepper’s Flea

Swims with mom and new step-pop

Dad’s beads stashed in butt

7:21 am July, 30 saulgoode42 said...

Tony’s blue blockers

Can’t stop Tina’s fake knockers

All three are Fokkers

7:21 am July, 30 Wheezer said...

Lynne Spears says, “Britney?

We can’t let Lohans have all

the PR spotlight!”

.

So Lynne’s partying

like it’s nineteen ninety-nine

with these douche princes.

7:21 am July, 30 mr.reeve said...

I love pear

Tony likes roids

Maria needed a nose job, not boobs

7:22 am July, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Grimace lets us know

“My ass still sore from felching”

Catfish not good choice

7:22 am July, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Brofus remember

Yellow chick we ate last night.

Me not feel so good.

7:22 am July, 30 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

GSR by left

douche runs to extreme. No hair

no where. OCD?

7:23 am July, 30 mr.reeve said...

I am no poet

My haikus really show it

Lake logs need to die

7:24 am July, 30 Wheezer said...

Hey Dicy? Is that

a U. Georgia camo hat?

Kinda hard to tell.

7:25 am July, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Carnies take a break

Plenty of rubes to rip off

When the sun goes down

7:25 am July, 30 Claude Douchenburg said...

Poo Poo in water

Floats with the ripples on top

Peeing underneath

7:25 am July, 30 Mr. White said...

This is what happens

When melanoma becomes

A sentient life form.

7:26 am July, 30 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

I saw this same view

in my toilet bowl this morn’.

It is unsettling.

7:26 am July, 30 Wheezer said...

Big sis OK with

her two “secretly” gay bros;

banjos make me wretch.

7:27 am July, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Urg. Vitamin D.

Doctor say live forever.

He not like me much.

7:27 am July, 30 Mr. White said...

Doctor excised large

cancerous growths, sent them to

beach instead of lab.

7:28 am July, 30 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Overcome by fumes

Burnt by the tanning bed sun

Twin choads flank MILF Hott

7:31 am July, 30 dknutty said...

Did charred bodies from

Deepwater Horizon blaze

finally reach shore?

7:32 am July, 30 Hot Buttered Poopcorn said...

Oil slick rises up

Takes a semi-human form

and poses for pic.

7:33 am July, 30 Bagnonymous said...

Late to the haiku

I’ve been stuck in my office

Trapped by coworkers

7:34 am July, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Diarrhea slick

bubbles up to surface. How

do the shades stay on?

7:35 am July, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Zeke and Earl pose proud

In season opener of

World’s Deadliest snatch

7:37 am July, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Mr. Hankey takes

family on vacation.

Flush brings sudden end.

7:37 am July, 30 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Pic blow-up reveals

left tats and a right nip ring?

This is dressed up poo!

7:38 am July, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

10 percent tanning tax

Drives die hard bakers to sea

Screw you Obama!

7:39 am July, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

What happens when you

mix beer and poo? I’m not sure

but it’s quite toxic.

7:41 am July, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

She should get money

back for large sacks of poo. Ones

on her chest, right?

7:41 am July, 30 what what? said...

These dirty douchebags

Can probably sneak in line

for reparations

7:42 am July, 30 Wheezer said...

Boat name “Flippin Cur”?

Kenny has beads for “Ford Truck

ad Mike”? I’m confused.

7:43 am July, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Prop wash from the boat’s

propeller will make this all

go away real soon.

7:43 am July, 30 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Back that boat motor

This way to churn this poo pile

Will aerate the pond.

7:44 am July, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

New product to bring

to market: “Poo glue” for when

you need stronger hold.

7:45 am July, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Disgusting side note

Earl and Phil have no tan lines

I said it was gross

7:46 am July, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

UV-B rays not

only disinfect but will

solve their problems soon.

7:47 am July, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Water hobos drift

Burnt on top, pruny below

Would you let them on?

7:47 am July, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Felching with catfish

Did not go over well when

Told that one to wife

7:49 am July, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Vin’s tan-line haiku

just made me vurp onto desk.

Do you hate us Vin?

7:50 am July, 30 Wheezer said...

Microscope view shows

paramecium party;

single brain cell ‘bags.

7:50 am July, 30 Vin Douchal said...

A beaded drifter

Hovers in couples photo

Two stiffs dredged from lake

7:51 am July, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Coroner could not

identify the bodies

of tanning mishap.

7:53 am July, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Mutant form of poo

can stand up straight in water.

Evolution cries.

7:54 am July, 30 Wheezer said...

Left scrote’s tatt says “Right”?

Mirrors provide confusion.

Try L, R on hands.

7:54 am July, 30 Bagnonymous said...

Fuckity fuck fuck

Three turds standing in the muck

Ass pear brings good luck

7:55 am July, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

As polar ice melts

Zeke and Earl grab beer and bleeth

F*ckk you polar bears!

7:57 am July, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Who says that you can’t

enjoy water in the Gulf?

Group of tarballs smiles.

7:58 am July, 30 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

The Sentient Poo

poses one last time as the

water circles drain.

7:59 am July, 30 Wheezer said...

Gulf jokes not dead yet;

N’Awlins still the place for beads,

beers, boobs, and bromance.

7:59 am July, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

God gets the plunger

ready to flush away the

jokes He made while drunk.

8:00 am July, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Stewing in own swill

When the turkey timers pop

They’ll eat each other

8:03 am July, 30 Crucial Head said...

I can’t look at pic

Too busy with sultry Pear

Like my drinks, on rocks.

8:04 am July, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Franklyn DealorNo

Takes the top spot once again

Haiku Wunderkind

8:04 am July, 30 Crucial Head said...

Too late for Haiku

Front Page streak broken by work

There’s always next week.

8:08 am July, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

DarkSock missed Haiku

Sometimes late but always here

Wonder what happened?

8:09 am July, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Tough picture this week

Not a lot there to work with

You try molding poo

8:14 am July, 30 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Thanks for accolades

Mr. Scrotato Head! Thanks!

Its been a long while.

8:22 am July, 30 Wheezer said...

I’m hoping Rock Pear

isn’t all for today. I’m

greedy and want more! 😀

8:38 am July, 30 doucheywallnuts said...

Steriod and Poo Show

Bleeth with tan teeth tits and tatts

Where is the flush handle

9:20 am July, 30 Captain Garanichode said...

Charcoal Poo

Beef Jerkey boobies

Leave mom home next time

10:04 am July, 30 creature said...

line at the bathroom

closet of poo is open

Plinky’s mom sharts there

10:29 am July, 30 douche bagel said...

turds bathe in sun

bewbs prevail

yamaha sees all… unfortunate

11:03 am July, 30 DarkSock said...

Again I’m too late;

Night boating versus land mass;

Limp in late to work

11:04 am July, 30 DarkSock said...

She is painted brown

By their swinging oily sacs;

Burnt umber tar balls

11:07 am July, 30 DarkSock said...

Boston Douchebag’s friend

Died in the Deepwater blaze;

He comes to fight us.

11:30 am July, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Blue veins on torso

Shining through crispy coating

Tells you bacon’s done

12:42 pm July, 30 Stephanie said...

Fry Fry Fry

Die Die Die

Skin Cancer Why?

It’s fairly obvious that doctors,have told people about tobacco causes cancer,and they’ve also been for years,talking about skin cancer. Go and have your brown spots mapped,for you mostly likely need surgery and they have to rip those brown spots out of your skin causing some pretty ugly deep scars all in the name of that bronzed look. Good luck.

They look like they are floating on the surface of a fried lake and they are 3 overdone donuts bobbing to the surface.

8:49 pm July, 30 Steve L. said...

call the EPA.

douchetaminated water

and unknown life forms.

11:24 am July, 31 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

One hot tomato

between two Texas-toasts, dipped

in muddy water.

11:29 am July, 31 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

She’s a vine-ripe red

hot pepper, sliced in the mid-

dle, with choadwank flanks.

11:33 am July, 31 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Choad-roids become sink-

ers with muscle mass; hott’s float-

ers are life-jackets.

11:40 am July, 31 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

How ironic is

life spent near water? Roasted

skin, marinated.

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