Friday, July 30, 2010
Friday Haiku
Wonderbread lake turds,
Burnt to a douchebag crisp,
No hott, so here’s pear.
Douches forgot their
SPF. God smites them with
nuclear sun rays.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Call Carl Spackler
to get three pieces of poo
out of Bushwood Lake
— dknutty
Overcome by fumes
Burnt by the tanning bed sun
Twin choads flank MILF Hott
— SonnyChibaChoad
Oil slick rises up
Takes a semi-human form
and poses for pic.
— Hot Buttered Poopcorn
Microscope view shows
paramecium party;
single brain cell ‘bags.
— Wheezer
Fart squealching grimace
Proud choads pose with their mom
Won chili contest
— Vin Douchal
Tony’s blue blockers
Can’t stop Tina’s fake knockers
All three are Fokkers
— saulgoode42
Lake trip mem’ries fade
But some things last forever
Like melanoma
— Mr. Scrotato Head
That long-ass necklace
Could probably be used to
hang all 3 of them?
Rock pear? I’m rock hard.
Ideal Friday wakeup
instead of orange choads.
Syllabication
blown in last line there; I need
a new editor.
This is no HD
picture. Good thing. You don’t want
to see scrote clearly.
Splur-ka! Splur-ka! Fluuush!
Damn it! Stop coming back up!
Spur-ka! Splur-ka! Fluuush!
Party in Gulf grease;
looks like DarkSock’s been boating
again: background crash.
Douches forgot their
SPF. God smites them with
nuclear sun rays.
Zeke hugs his baked bro
Lorna is a Butterface
I’d reach past her too
Burnt sienna bods
leave Crayola box behind,
party, pose, get drunk.
Call Carl Spackler
to get three pieces of poo
out of Bushwood Lake
I’d still bang that MILF,
but new divorceé instead
likes her frat boy toys.
Kid Grunt and Scorchman
Havasu super heroes
Pose with Lois Plain
Dina Lohan shows
Lindsay what she’s been missing;
PR train rolls on.
This is no BP
cleanup crew. Their posing in
a big hog waller
Red Skin, lobster abs
They keep screaming “Bro!”, next time
Boil them head first
Fart squealching grimace
Proud choads pose with their mom
Won chili contest
Extra crispy said Tony
Boobs were big and fake
Sal wants to be be Poo
Beefy and Bumpy,
They didn’t know Pumpy
All they know is Poo.
Maria is not hot
Pass another Bud Light
I see river logs
Evidence quickly
washed off left choad’s anal beads;
lake party “AWESOME!”
Arizona sun
Draws melanoma target
On deserving poo
MILF is stretching it
Gulf is (sadly) wretching it
Ralph is fetching it
Water is turning brown
Tony wants to be down
At least they aren’t wearing Speedos
Lake trip mem’ries fade
But some things last forever
Like melanoma
I am hung over
Too much scotch and beer
This pic made me hurl
Chili Pepper’s Flea
Swims with mom and new step-pop
Dad’s beads stashed in butt
Tony’s blue blockers
Can’t stop Tina’s fake knockers
All three are Fokkers
Lynne Spears says, “Britney?
We can’t let Lohans have all
the PR spotlight!”
.
So Lynne’s partying
like it’s nineteen ninety-nine
with these douche princes.
I love pear
Tony likes roids
Maria needed a nose job, not boobs
Grimace lets us know
“My ass still sore from felching”
Catfish not good choice
Brofus remember
Yellow chick we ate last night.
Me not feel so good.
GSR by left
douche runs to extreme. No hair
no where. OCD?
I am no poet
My haikus really show it
Lake logs need to die
Hey Dicy? Is that
a U. Georgia camo hat?
Kinda hard to tell.
Carnies take a break
Plenty of rubes to rip off
When the sun goes down
Poo Poo in water
Floats with the ripples on top
Peeing underneath
This is what happens
When melanoma becomes
A sentient life form.
I saw this same view
in my toilet bowl this morn’.
It is unsettling.
Big sis OK with
her two “secretly” gay bros;
banjos make me wretch.
Urg. Vitamin D.
Doctor say live forever.
He not like me much.
Doctor excised large
cancerous growths, sent them to
beach instead of lab.
Overcome by fumes
Burnt by the tanning bed sun
Twin choads flank MILF Hott
Did charred bodies from
Deepwater Horizon blaze
finally reach shore?
Oil slick rises up
Takes a semi-human form
and poses for pic.
Late to the haiku
I’ve been stuck in my office
Trapped by coworkers
Diarrhea slick
bubbles up to surface. How
do the shades stay on?
Zeke and Earl pose proud
In season opener of
World’s Deadliest snatch
Mr. Hankey takes
family on vacation.
Flush brings sudden end.
Pic blow-up reveals
left tats and a right nip ring?
This is dressed up poo!
10 percent tanning tax
Drives die hard bakers to sea
Screw you Obama!
What happens when you
mix beer and poo? I’m not sure
but it’s quite toxic.
She should get money
back for large sacks of poo. Ones
on her chest, right?
These dirty douchebags
Can probably sneak in line
for reparations
Boat name “Flippin Cur”?
Kenny has beads for “Ford Truck
ad Mike”? I’m confused.
Prop wash from the boat’s
propeller will make this all
go away real soon.
Back that boat motor
This way to churn this poo pile
Will aerate the pond.
New product to bring
to market: “Poo glue” for when
you need stronger hold.
Disgusting side note
Earl and Phil have no tan lines
I said it was gross
UV-B rays not
only disinfect but will
solve their problems soon.
Water hobos drift
Burnt on top, pruny below
Would you let them on?
Felching with catfish
Did not go over well when
Told that one to wife
Vin’s tan-line haiku
just made me vurp onto desk.
Do you hate us Vin?
Microscope view shows
paramecium party;
single brain cell ‘bags.
A beaded drifter
Hovers in couples photo
Two stiffs dredged from lake
Coroner could not
identify the bodies
of tanning mishap.
Mutant form of poo
can stand up straight in water.
Evolution cries.
Left scrote’s tatt says “Right”?
Mirrors provide confusion.
Try L, R on hands.
Fuckity fuck fuck
Three turds standing in the muck
Ass pear brings good luck
As polar ice melts
Zeke and Earl grab beer and bleeth
F*ckk you polar bears!
Who says that you can’t
enjoy water in the Gulf?
Group of tarballs smiles.
The Sentient Poo
poses one last time as the
water circles drain.
Gulf jokes not dead yet;
N’Awlins still the place for beads,
beers, boobs, and bromance.
God gets the plunger
ready to flush away the
jokes He made while drunk.
Stewing in own swill
When the turkey timers pop
They’ll eat each other
I can’t look at pic
Too busy with sultry Pear
Like my drinks, on rocks.
Franklyn DealorNo
Takes the top spot once again
Haiku Wunderkind
Too late for Haiku
Front Page streak broken by work
There’s always next week.
DarkSock missed Haiku
Sometimes late but always here
Wonder what happened?
Tough picture this week
Not a lot there to work with
You try molding poo
Thanks for accolades
Mr. Scrotato Head! Thanks!
Its been a long while.
I’m hoping Rock Pear
isn’t all for today. I’m
greedy and want more! 😀
Steriod and Poo Show
Bleeth with tan teeth tits and tatts
Where is the flush handle
Charcoal Poo
Beef Jerkey boobies
Leave mom home next time
line at the bathroom
closet of poo is open
Plinky’s mom sharts there
turds bathe in sun
bewbs prevail
yamaha sees all… unfortunate
Again I’m too late;
Night boating versus land mass;
Limp in late to work
She is painted brown
By their swinging oily sacs;
Burnt umber tar balls
Boston Douchebag’s friend
Died in the Deepwater blaze;
He comes to fight us.
Blue veins on torso
Shining through crispy coating
Tells you bacon’s done
Fry Fry Fry
Die Die Die
Skin Cancer Why?
It’s fairly obvious that doctors,have told people about tobacco causes cancer,and they’ve also been for years,talking about skin cancer. Go and have your brown spots mapped,for you mostly likely need surgery and they have to rip those brown spots out of your skin causing some pretty ugly deep scars all in the name of that bronzed look. Good luck.
They look like they are floating on the surface of a fried lake and they are 3 overdone donuts bobbing to the surface.
call the EPA.
douchetaminated water
and unknown life forms.
One hot tomato
between two Texas-toasts, dipped
in muddy water.
She’s a vine-ripe red
hot pepper, sliced in the mid-
dle, with choadwank flanks.
Choad-roids become sink-
ers with muscle mass; hott’s float-
ers are life-jackets.
How ironic is
life spent near water? Roasted
skin, marinated.